issue51 [Jet小组] 第三次作业

hds123523000UID: 2454889

Issue 51
“Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.”
word 390

I agree with the speaker insofar as an effective educational system should care about the distinctive interests and characteristics of individual students. However, I do not agree with the speaker that educational system should be specifically designed to meet individual needs or interests of each students, firstly because such needs may vary and contradict and it is impossible to design such an education system; what is more important is that such over-emphasis on the individual needs may injure the overall goal of education.
An education system that can take into account the specific needs and interests of each student will help the students to fully development their distinct potential and talent. Take the current Chinese talent billiards player Junhui Ding for example. If his father did not give him a special education space when he found his son’s talent about billiards, Ding maybe become a common student on certain campus instead of shining over the billiards field.
In such an education system, student, feeling centered and appreciated, will be more motivated to study. This is reasonable. Imagine that you are the center of a game, you must feel responsibility and try to do every thing hard to feedback the helper. And the interest is the best teacher, everyone will be more excited and studious while doing something he interests.
However, over-emphasizing the concerns about the individual needs and interests of each student may harm the accomplishment of the overall education goal. When a student get accustomed about this education system, he will always think that he is center of everything and think less about the others so that will do harm to the overall education goal. What’s more, it is also a waste of the source of education.
So, in sum, in my opinion, the education to meet the individual needs and interests is dependent to the student’s talent. If he is a outstanding and excellent on certain field, it is worth and necessary to educate him like that. Otherwise, it is better to give him education as the usual way that will do good to the overall education goal.              

dreamstringUID: 2389201

I agree with the speaker insofar as an effective educational system should care about the distinctive interests and characteristics of individual students. However, I do not agree with the speaker that educational system should be specifically designed to meet individual needs or interests of each students, firstly(你在后面没有用secondly，只有一个what's more，这个firstly大可不必，我觉得删掉比较好) because such needs may vary and contradict(我记着这两个词是及物动词，改成such needs may be variable and contradictable比较好) and it is impossible to design such an education system; what is more important is that such over-emphasis on the individual needs may injure the overall goal of education.
An education system that can take into account the specific needs and interests of each student will help the students to fully development(develop) their distinct potential and talent. Take the(删掉) current Chinese talent billiards player Junhui Ding for example. If his father did not give him a special education space when he found his son’s talent about billiards, Ding maybe become a common student on certain campus instead of shining over the billiards field.
In such an education system, student, feeling centered and appreciated, will be more motivated to study. This is reasonable. Imagine that you are the center of a game, you must(太绝对) feel responsibility and try to do every thing hard to feedback the helper(我没太看懂，怎么忽然就冒出来一个helper？). And the interest is(interests are) the best teacher, everyone will be more excited(exciting) and studious while doing something he interests.
However, over-emphasizing the concerns about the individual needs and interests of each student may harm the accomplishment of the overall education goal. When a student get accustomed about this education system, he will always think that he is center of everything and think less about the others so that(it) will do harm to the overall education goal(换一个说法，总重复不太好). What’s more, it is also a waste of the(删去) source of education.
So, in sum, in my opinion,(这三句话其实是一个意思，用一个就行了，比如In my opinion) the(删去) education to meet（这样写有点奇怪~）the individual(individual's) needs and interests is dependent to the(depend on) student’s(students') talent. If he is a outstanding and excellent on certain field, it is worth and necessary to educate him like that. Otherwise, it is better to give him education as the usual way that will do good(好像没见过这样的说法，我觉得说成benefit the overall...比较好) to the overall education goal.      

文章在理解题目上没有问题，我觉得一点遗憾是写得不够深入，每一段基本上就是提出该段的观点，然后浮在表面上说了两句就结束了。我觉得你在开始写之前可以多花一些时间来思考，构思，甚至花上比写作所需时间更长的时间也是值得的，这样能帮助你更好的理解题目以及完善自己的思想。
另外就是你的句子还是有一些chinglish的成分的，其实这个是中国人都无法避免的问题，咱们都存在这个缺点，尽量多阅读多写来弥补吧。
谢谢你给我改文章，这次合作愉快：）