issue144 [Jet小组]第六次作业

benjamin07UID: 2310909

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 631          TIME: 上午 45:00          DATE: 2008-1-4

According to the title statement, the author claims that it is the artist, rather than the critic, that gives the perpetual values to our society. In my viewpoint, I fundamentally agree with the author, which is based on the inherent values of the arts and the influences they produce on our society, though the critic, however, also makes benefits to people who appreciate the arts and, to some extent, guides us in another way.

In the first place, artists can create great works, which may have great influence on our human beings and create perpetual and lasting values. History is replete with examples that it is the artist, rather than the critic, who can produce this kind of effects. Take the works of De Vinci, for instance, whose great art, " Mona Lisa", up to now, is still believed that it is one of the best and refined arts in the world, because it describes and depicts the beauty of the human beings with the unique perception and perspective of the artist. What is more, the more important is that it can stimulate the feelings of our humankinds to think and appreciate the arts. Another case in this point is that the novels of the Mark Twain, who wrote the work about the true condition of the society at that period of time, sarcastically deriding the bad and negative respects of the society, especially in the field of the politics, which were all welcomed and valuable to people at that time, of course, which are also beneficial to modern society- we can learn from them.

Admittedly, the critic also have their own values, through guiding us how to appreciate the arts, no matter it is ordinary or great, with their critical eyes and opinions. As art is a subject which is full of creativities and mystery, we can not directly understand and comprehend what is the true meanings it would contain. However, critics can help us, to some extent, by fully and clearly explicating them. When we are full of excitement and joy to plan to appreciate the arts produced by the Van Gogh, we will find it highly abstruse and recondite to understand the true meanings of it, not mention to be deeply inspired by it. Nevertheless, with the inference to the introduction of the articles written by the critics related to the critique of the art, we at least can know something about it, and consequently appreciate it with our judgment. Moreover, referring to the preface of an opus composed by a celebrated artist, we, too, can somehow grasp the prospectus of this recondite work. In short, the artic can, at some circumstances, lead us to understand and grasp the probable meanings and consequences of the arts.

However, on the other hand, the critic may often put negative, rather than positive, effects on the art. When new ideas, created by the artist, are contradictory with the traditional ones, the critic always stands besides the latter. For example, French Voltaire was strongly against the neoclassical works of Shakespeare's because he thought that the ideas it produced was contradictory with the traditional ones. In addition, politicians always use the critic to support or talk for them. Turning back to the works of Mark Twain again, as it was against the society of that period, critics, probably oppressed, threatened or bribed by the politicians, too often derided his novels, looking down upon his works by publicly publishing negative critiques through printed articles in order, to some extent, to protect the governance of the government at that time.

To sum up, I agree with the opinion of the author based on the perpetual values and great influences of the works produced by the artist. Yet the function and negative aspects of the critic should not be neglected.

滴滴雨儿UID: 2392741

TOPIC:ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society somethingof lasting value." *a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels,films, music, paintings, etc.

Accordingtothe title statement, the author claims that it is the artist, ratherthanthe critic, that gives the perpetual values to our society. In myviewpoint, Ifundamentally agree with the author, which is based on theinherent values ofthe arts and the influences they produce on oursociety, though(这个地方如果不打逗号,换成while)the critic, however, also makes benefits to people who appreciate the arts and,to some extent, guides us in another way.(个人觉得这个长句结构太复杂了,前面的非限定从如果换成原因状从好像意思上更通顺简练些)

Inthe first place, artists can create great works, which may have great influenceon our human beings and create perpetual and lastingvalues(我觉得同义词放在这里有点矫情,用一个就够了).Historyis replete with examples that it is the artist, rather than thecritic,who can produce this kind of effects. Take the works of De Vinci(我用这个例子的时候查了下,不确定能不能这样写他的名字,就把全名写上去了)(,for instance,这里也可以删掉了吧,因为前面用了example了,简练些)whose great art Mona Lisa, (查了下,可以不用引号和逗号隔开,直接大写即可)upto now, is still believed (that it is可删去)one of the best and most refinedarts in the world, because itdescribes and depicts the beauty of thehuman beings with the unique perceptionand perspective of the artist. What is more important isthat it can stimulate us(还是改简练)to think and appreciate the arts. Another case in this point is (thatthe novels of the)Mark Twain, who wrote the work about thetrue condition of the societyat that period of time, sarcastically deridingthe bad and negativerespects of the society, especially in the field of thepolitics, whichwere all welcomed and valuable to people at that time, ofcourse, whichare also beneficial to modern society-(不是很懂这里的-的作用,糊涂了)we can learn from them.(读下来又是一超长句,放在段尾岂不是太重了吗.建议要么MarkTwain另起一段,要么改成若干短句.)

Admittedly,thecritic also have their own values, through guiding us how to appreciatethearts, no matter it is ordinary or great, with their critical eyesand opinions.(段落主题句还是应该短点吧, 感觉堆砌内容的痕迹太严重了)Asart is a subject which is full of creativities and mystery, we can not directlyunderstand and comprehend what (删is)the true meanings it would contain. However, critics can help us, to someextent, by fully and clearly explicating them. When we (are full ofexcitement and joyto) plan toappreciate the arts produced by the Van Gogh with excitement and joy, we (will)may probably find it highly abstruse and recondite to understand (the true meanings of it重复了,可以不要),notmention to be deeply inspired by it. Nevertheless, with the inferencetothe introduction of the articles written by the critics related tothe critiqueof the art, we at least can know something about it, andconsequentlyappreciate it with our judgment. Moreover,referring to the prefaceof an opus composed by a celebrated artist, we,too, can somehow grasp theprospectus of this recondite work.(我很喜欢这一句^_^,说到咱老百姓心里去了)Inshort, the artic(这里是指critic吧)can, at some circumstances, lead us to understand and grasp the probablemeanings and consequences of the arts.

However,on the other hand,(这两个调换个位置比较好吧)the critic may often put negative, rather than positive, effects on the art.When new ideas, created by the artist, are contradictorywith the traditional ones, the critic always(太绝对了吧)standsbesides the latter. For example, French Voltaire was stronglyagainstthe neoclassical works of Shakespeare's because he thought thatthe ideas itproduced was contradictory with the traditional ones(和前面完全一样了,换个说法好点儿).(下面这里既然换了个观点,何不另起一段?)In addition, politicians always(同上)usethe critic to support or talk for them. Turning back to the works ofMarkTwain again, as it was against the society of that period, critics,probablyoppressed, threatened or bribed by the politicians, too oftenderided hisnovels, looking down upon his works by publicly publishingnegative critiquesthrough printed articles in order, to some extent, toprotect the governance ofthe government at that time.(又是一个段尾巨长句.-_-!!)

(但更重要的是,这一大段虽然提出了两个观点,但似乎有点儿偏题了,或者说至少没有点明和LASTINGVALUE to the society的关系)

Tosumup, I agree with the opinion of the author based on the perpetualvaluesand great influences of the works produced by the artist. Yet thefunction andnegative aspects of the critic should not be neglected.(结尾很精练地概括观点了^_^)

全篇通读下来感觉很饱满, 作者把自己的观点进行了充分的论证, 例证充足. 但我个人觉得文章语言过于复杂, 虽然作者语言语法功底都很强,但这些似乎有意无意地造出长难句, 反而使文章读起来拗口而无韵律感. 所以在修改的时候大多按照个人偏好改简练了些, 反正文章字数大大有余嘛. ^_^ 楼主只需略作参考, 若是习惯自己的写作风格语言习惯大可不必理会. 毕竟绝大多数的互改效果都是因人而异啦. 另外这是我第一次修改别人的文章, 拿楼主大作开刀练笔还请多多包涵. ^_^

[ 本帖最后由 滴滴雨儿 于 2008-2-15 16:34 编辑 ]

benjamin07UID: 2310909

谢谢  挑出了我太多毛病了。  最后一段是属于发散性的，issue好像接受这样的写法。

滴滴雨儿UID: 2392741

嗯~最后一段括号里我的意思是写的很好看起来很舒服~^_^

sendUID: 2200778

Accordingto the title statement, the author claims that it is the artist, ratherthan the critic, that gives the perpetual values to our society. In myviewpoint, I fundamentally agree with the author, which is based on theinherent values of the arts and the influences they produce on oursociety, though the critic, however, also makes benefits to people whoappreciate the arts and, to some extent, guides us in another way.(我也觉得句子太复杂了,意思就不明朗了,那个though 后还however)

In thefirst place, artists can create great works, which may have greatinfluence on our human beings and create perpetual and lasting values.History is replete with examples that it is the artist, rather than thecritic, who can produce this kind of effects. Take the works of DeVinci, for instance, whose(his) great art, " Mona Lisa", up to now, is stillbelieved that it is one of the best and refined arts in the world,because it describes and depicts the beauty of the human beings withthe unique perception and perspective of the artist. What is more, themore important is that it can stimulate the feelings of our humankindsto think and appreciate the arts. Another case in this point is thatthe novels of the Mark Twain, who wrote the work about the truecondition of the society at that period of time, sarcastically deridingthe bad and negative respects of the society, especially in the fieldof the politics, which were all welcomed and valuable to people (这句用法好像不对)at thattime, of course, which are also beneficial to modern society- we canlearn from them.(这后面的是benefits么?如果是就没展开,如果不是就多余了)

(我还等着second place呢)Admittedly,the critic also have their own values, through guiding us how toappreciate the arts, no matter it is ordinary or great, with theircritical eyes and opinions(这个和上面的搭配不符). As art is a subject which is full ofcreativities and mystery, we can not directly understand and comprehendwhat is the true meanings it would contain. However, critics can helpus, to some extent, by fully and clearly explicating them. When we arefull of excitement and joy to plan to appreciate the arts produced bythe Van Gogh, we will find it highly abstruse and recondite tounderstand the true meanings of it, not mention to be deeply inspiredby it. Nevertheless(这里怎么转折了呢), with the inference to the introduction of thearticles written by the critics related to the critique of the art, weat least can know something about it, and consequently appreciate itwith our judgment. Moreover, referring to the preface of an opuscomposed by a celebrated artist, we, too, can somehow grasp theprospectus of this recondite work. In short, the artic can, at somecircumstances, lead us to understand and grasp the probable meaningsand consequences of the arts.

However,on the other hand, the critic may often put negative, rather thanpositive, effects on the art. When new ideas, created by the artist,are contradictory with the traditional ones, the critic always standsbesides the latter.(这话太绝对了) For example, French Voltaire was strongly againstthe neoclassical works of Shakespeare's because he thought that theideas it produced was contradictory with the traditional ones. Inaddition, politicians always use the critic to support or talk forthem. Turning back to the works of Mark Twain again, as it was againstthe society of that period, critics, probably oppressed, threatened orbribed by the politicians, too often derided his novels, looking downupon his works by publicly publishing negative critiques throughprinted articles in order, to some extent, to protect the governance ofthe government at that time.

To sumup, I agree with the opinion of the author based on the perpetualvalues and great influences of the works produced by the artist. Yetthe function and negative aspects of the critic should not be neglected.

如果你同意作者观点,那么第三个观点放在前面说更好些,第二个观点放在不能放中间了.整篇文章句子复杂感觉不是很顺畅,用词方面虽然复杂但是有些地方还需斟酌, 然后就是例子挺多但感觉还是有点空.