argument147"为我所用"小组第二次作业

yt-sophiaUID: 2342654

147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
尽管Whirlwind游戏公司的游戏销量在过去两年中下降了，最近一次对于电子游戏玩家的调查显示这种销售趋势可能会逆转。该调查询问游戏玩家对于一个游戏来说他们所认为的最重要特征是什么。根据调查结果，玩家倾向于那些需要最先进的电脑的，具有活灵活现图象的游戏。Whirlwind刚刚面向10－25岁的人群开展了大力的广告活动来推广若干此类游戏，10－25岁是最喜欢玩游戏的年龄层。这说明Whirlwind公司的游戏销量将会在未来几个月中猛增。

It is presumptuous for the editorial to conclude that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months according to its' advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, who were assumed to be the age-group most likely to play video games. And the survey hardly can provide any element to convince me about the fact that the sale condition of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed.

First of all, the mere fact that Whirlwind has just introduced several games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old is inadequate evidence to conclude that people in this age-group will buy Whirlwind's video games. There are many factors that effects on the purchasing behavior. For example, the most part of this group of people's buying power depend on their parents, who are particularly opposed to the video game. That is to say, they possibility have not enough financial strength to afford the video games which they are interested in. Moreover, the author provides no evidence that the age-group of 10 to 25 most likely to play video games, which makes the conclusion much more unwarranted.

Further more, we are told nothing about the way the survey is conducted and how well it represented the 10 to 25 years old people's opinion. If the objects of the survey are people who are too old or too young to play video games, the result of the survey cannot reveal the relative fact of the target group. Needless to say, the opinion which Whirlwind take was totally wrong.

Even if the result of the survey is the real express of the people of 10 to 25, weather Whirlwind could meet the needs is open to doubt. The author provides no evidence to describe the Whirlwind's strength in order to prove that they have a advanced position to compete with the other company. What is more, the marketing environment will give great influence to the sales volume. As the facts mentioned above, it is hurry to say the sales of Whirlwind will increase during the following month.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

usayaUID: 2374023

It is presumptuous for the editorial to conclude that the sales ofWhirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the nextfew months according to its' advertising campaign directed at people 10to 25 years old, who were assumed to be the age-group most likely toplay video games. And the survey hardly can provide any element toconvince me about the fact that the sale condition of Whirlwind videogames is about to be reversed.（简洁明了，不错不错，值得学习）

First of all, the mere fact that Whirlwind has just introduced severalgames with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to25 years old is inadequate evidence to conclude that people in thisage-group will buy Whirlwind's video games. There are many factors thateffects on the purchasing behavior. For example, the most part of thisgroup of people's buying power depend on their parents, who areparticularly opposed to the video game. That is to say, theypossibility have not enough financial strength to afford the videogames which they are interested in. Moreover, the author provides noevidence that the age-group of 10 to 25 most likely to play videogames, which makes the conclusion much more unwarranted.

Further more, we are told nothing about the way the survey is conductedand how well it represented the 10 to 25 years old people's opinion. Ifthe objects of the survey are people who are too old or too young toplay video games, the result of the survey cannot reveal the relativefact of the target group. Needless to say, the opinion which Whirlwindtake was totally wrong.

Even if the result of the survey is the real express of the people of10 to 25, weather（是whether?） Whirlwind could meet the needs is open to doubt. Theauthor provides no evidence to describe the Whirlwind's strength inorder to prove that they have a advanced position to compete with theother company. What is more, the marketing environment will give greatinfluence to the sales volume. As the facts mentioned above, it ishurry to say the sales of Whirlwind will increase during the followingmonth.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who theauthor is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects ofhis or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author shouldgive more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

看完了，羡慕中，分析得很透彻，整个篇幅很顺，如果在时间和准确度上能获得保障的话，组长你明天就可以去考了．．．

bitdxcUID: 2465290

It is presumptuous for the editorial to conclude that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months according to its' advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, who were assumed to be the age-group most likely to play video games. And the survey hardly can provide any element to convince me about the fact that the sale condition of Whirlwind video games is about to be reversed.

First of all, the mere fact that Whirlwind has just introduced several games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old is inadequate evidence to conclude that people in this age-group will buy Whirlwind's video games. There are many factors that effects on the purchasing behavior. For example, the most part of this group of people's buying power depend on their parents, who are particularly opposed to the video game. That is to say, they possibility(possibly) have not enough financial strength to afford the video games which they are interested in. Moreover, the author provides no evidence that the age-group of 10 to 25 most likely to play video games, which makes the conclusion much more unwarranted.

Further more, we are told nothing about the way the survey is conducted and how well it represented the 10 to 25 years old people's opinion. If the objects of the survey are people who are too old or too young to play video games, the result of the survey cannot reveal the relative fact of the target group. Needless to say, the opinion which Whirlwind take(takes) was totally wrong.

Even if the result of the survey is the real express of the people of 10 to 25, weather Whirlwind could meet the needs is open to doubt. The author provides no evidence to describe the Whirlwind's strength in order to prove that they have a(an) advanced position to compete with the other company. What is more, the marketing environment will give great influence to the sales volume. As the facts mentioned above, it is hurry to say the sales of Whirlwind will increase during the following month.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

评价：
关于批驳的顺序个人认为应该将二，三段的顺序换一下，可能好一些，层层递进批驳有力。