April小组Argument65

deerprinceUID: 2394244

1)没有充足的证据说明这样做能够使利润升高，文章没有对国产奶酪销售情况进行任何说明，也没有提供顾客对于奶酪选择的偏爱。
2)新开的几家商店对于W奶酪的偏爱不能代表所有地区都是这样。
3)关于杂志的调查，缺乏证据说明调查的科学性和代表性。

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the chain of cheese stores should discontinue stoking imported cheeses and concentrate on domestic cheeses in order to improve profits. To justify this claim, the arguer provides the evidence that the best-selling cheeses at newest store were all domestics. In addition, the arguer points that a survey of one cheese magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

The major problem with this argument is that there are no sufficient evidences to make sure that we may improve the profits by the way provided by the arguer. The argument fails to provide information about the previous sale condition of the domestic cheeses in the whole country. And we could not hear from the arguer about the major preference for the choice of cheeses. Lacking enough evidence, the unconvincing method for the future profits is unbelievable.

Another flaw that weakens this argument is that the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. Though the five best-selling cheeses at newest store were all domestic cheeses from Wisconsin, we could not know about the further information about the newest store. Maybe the newest store is just located in Wisconsin, and the civilizations prefer it only because the advertising of Wisconsin that only is shown in this area. Customers of other countries may not know the Wisconsin cheeses at all. The arguer can not expel these possibilities.

In addition, the survey by the Cheeses of the World magazine lacks persuasions. First, we could not know the number of the subscribers. If lacking enough subscribers, the survey is not representative. Second, how many cheese customers participated? Maybe only little customers responded and the most are sales representations or the cheese manufacturers. Third, the sample of the survey is vague. Maybe the customers who like imported cheeses did not participate or they did not subscribe the magazine at all.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidences concerning the sales condition of domestic cheeses and the preference of the customers about the domestic cheeses.

brilliantsUID: 2347224

:funk: 写的这么好让我怎么改？
建议：1、吹毛求疵的讲，第一点可以加一些与本文相关内容的充实。
2、注意写作用时。不知你花了多久写这篇文章:)