Issue130【火箭 小组】第二次作业

cloudwind-greUID: 2462220

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

字数：607

    I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that the socialization of children today will play a much pivotal role in our society. However, besides socialization, the speaker might overlook other compelling factors which might equally affect our children. Moreover, I can not concede the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
    I turn first to my agreement with the speaker. After all, I can not pay emphasis on socialization too much. The quickly development of technology, especially the breakthrough in the areas of communication, such as the internet, has resulted in our more complex lifestyle and make people today connect with other more and more closely. In such a sweep changing society, individuals who want to succeed today are obliged to collect more and more meritorious information from others and learn to exhibit his talent to the public. In my view, it is the individuals' socialization that provides him the chance to succeed. In short, owing to our society's diversification, there is no doubt that individuals are closely related to the surroundings and other peoples around him. The more extroversive an individual is, the more chances will be revealed to him.
    Admittedly, it is conceivable that socialization is highly important. In my view, the speaker's statement might be too extreme for he overlooks other influences which could be significant to our child too--in terms of personal capability, belief and even genius. We must confirm that some tremendous feat is provided by those independent ideologists. For example, the famous physician, Daniel Tammet, a British young man who unluckily gets the disease of savant syndrome which make him unable to tell and move. However, this do not impede him to shows his great gift in mathematics and physics. In his independent thinking, great contribution in the science of cosmography was made by him, which causes him to be considered to be the next "Einstein".
    Daniel Tammet is merely one example of a history pattern in which it is individual's own ability that tremendous achievement was made. History has told us that in addition to personal capability, other factors such one's belief can also pose a great influence to personal success. One apt illustration in about the ancient astronomer named Copenicus, who have a strong belief of heliocentric theory after his careful scrutiny on his predecessor's record, however, this belief is deemed to be heresy during the middle ages when the power of religion was too great to even kill those who have a different ideology. It is hard-pressed for me to believe giant who did not have strong belief to truth can persist in such a "heresy" as heliocentric at those a horrible times. This points illustrate the point that it is individual belief rather that socialization that lead to our cognition of truth.
    As for the speaker's second claims, I can not concede that we do not learn to raise our children. In contrary, People today share a belief that the more we pay to educate our children, the more prosperous our society will be. It is impossible to think that children long before can have to opportunity to attend to school smoothly and get guidance and help from their parent. Children before will never be get such more attention from both their parents and even the national government.
   In sum, besides socialization, in my view, other factor such as personal ability and individual belief and so forth are equally significant to maintain our society's prosperity. I also can agree the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise our children.

[ 本帖最后由 cloudwind-gre 于 2008-6-9 11:17 编辑 ]

babyface1124UID: 2494668

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

字数：607

    I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that the socialization of children today will play a much pivotal role in our society. However, besides socialization, the speaker might overlook other compelling factors which might equally affect our children. Moreover, I can not concede the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
    I turn first to my agreement with the speaker. After all,（让步） I((we) can not pay emphasis on socialization too much. The quickly（quick） development of technology, especially the breakthrough in the areas of communication, such as the internet, has resulted in our more complex lifestyle and make people today connect with other more and more closely. In such a sweep changing society, individuals who want to succeed today are obliged to collect more and more(increasingly) meritorious information from others and learn to exhibit his talent to the public. In my view, it is the individuals' socialization that provides him the chance to succeed. In short, owing to our society's diversification, there is no doubt that individuals are closely related to the surroundings and other peoples around him. The more extroversive an individual is, the more chances will be revealed to him.
    Admittedly, it is conceivable that socialization is highly important. In my view, the speaker's statement might be too extreme for he overlooks other influences which could be significant to our child too--in terms of personal capability, belief and even genius. We must confirm that some tremendous feat is provided by those independent ideologists. For example, the famous physician, Daniel Tammet, a British young man who unluckily gets the disease of savant syndrome which make him unable to tell and move. However, this do not impede him to shows his great gift in mathematics and physics. In his independent thinking, great contribution in the science of cosmography was made by him, which causes him to be considered to be the next "Einstein".
    Daniel Tammet is merely one example of a history pattern in which it is individual's own ability that tremendous achievement was made. History has told us that in addition to personal capability, other factors such one's belief can also pose a great influence to personal success. One apt illustration in about the ancient astronomer named Copenicus, who have a strong belief of heliocentric theory after his careful scrutiny on his predecessor's record, however, this belief is deemed to be heresy during the middle ages when the power of religion was too great(absolute) to even kill those who have a different ideology. It is hard-pressed for me to believe giant who did not have strong belief to truth can persist in such a "heresy" as heliocentric at those a horrible times. This points illustrate the point that it is individual belief rather that socialization that lead to our cognition of truth.
    As for the speaker's second claims, I can not concede that we do not learn to raise our children. In contrary, People today share a belief that the more we pay to educate our children, the more prosperous our society will be. It is impossible to think that children long before can have to opportunity to attend to school smoothly and get guidance and help from their parent. Children before will never be get such more attention from both their parents and even the national government.
   In sum, besides socialization, in my view, other factor such as personal ability and individual belief and so forth are equally significant to maintain our society's prosperity. I also can agree the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise our children.

文章观点清晰,结构分明,例子丰富~希望TS能够概括各段内容,还有更好的社会和发现真理之间最好能写些顺接的话 不然感觉有些跑....

t3123055UID: 2498724

I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that the socialization of children today will play a much pivotal role in our society. However, besides socialization, the speaker might overlook other compelling factors which might equally affect our children. Moreover, I can not concede the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
    I turn first to my agreement with the speaker. After all, I can not pay emphasis on socialization too much. The quickly(quick) development of technology, especially the breakthrough in the areas of communication, such as the internet, has resulted in our more complex lifestyle and make people today connect with other（others） more and more closely. In such a sweep changing society, individuals who want to succeed today are obliged to collect more and more meritorious information from others and learn to exhibit his talent to the public. In my view, it is the individuals'(individual 就行了吧，因为它本身是个形容词) socialization that provides him the chance to succeed. In short, owing to our society's diversification, there is no doubt that individuals are closely related to the surroundings and other peoples(people) around him. The more extroversive an individual is, the more chances will be revealed to him.（我觉得交流就是社会化啊，好像很接近，用这个例子来说明并不是社会化才有益于社会，这种论据会不会不够有力）或者你要表达的就是先肯定社会化，如果你要肯定社会化的话，After all, I can not pay emphasis on socialization too much.这句话就不能这样说了。社会化在某种程度上来说是我们社会上所必须的。
    Admittedly, it is conceivable that socialization is highly important. In my view, the speaker's statement might be too extreme for(because) he overlooks other influences which could be significant to our child too--in terms of personal capability, belief and even genius. We must confirm that some tremendous feat is provided by those independent ideologists. For example, the famous physician, Daniel Tammet, a British young man who unluckily gets the disease of savant syndrome which make him unable to tell and move. However, this do not impede him to shows his great gift in mathematics and physics. In his independent thinking, great contribution in the science of cosmography was made by him, which causes him to be considered to be the next "Einstein".
    Daniel Tammet is merely one example of a history pattern in which it is individual's own ability that tremendous achievement was made. History has told us that in addition to personal capability, other factors such as one's belief can also pose a great influence to personal success. One apt illustration in about the ancient astronomer named Copenicus, who have(had) a strong belief of heliocentric theory after his careful scrutiny on his predecessor's record, however, this belief is(was) deemed to be heresy during the middle ages when the power of religion was too great to even kill those who have(had) a different ideology. It is hard-pressed for me to believe giant who did not have strong belief to truth can persist in such a "heresy" as heliocentric at those a horrible times.(好像这句话有问题) This(these) points illustrate the point that it is individual belief rather that socialization that (than)lead to our cognition of truth.
    As for the speaker's second claims, I can not concede that we do not learn to raise our children. In contrary（contrast）, People today share a belief that the more we pay to educate our children, the more prosperous our society will be. It is impossible to think that children long before can(could) have to(应删除) opportunity to attend to school smoothly and get guidance and help from their parent. Children before will(删除) never be（were） get(given) such more attention from both their parents and even the national government.
   In sum, besides socialization, in my view, other factors such as personal ability and individual belief and so forth are equally significant to maintain our society's prosperity.（这个词很到位） I also can (not)你不是反对第二个观点的吗 agree the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise our children.

整篇文章思路明确，作者的两个观点都反对，从论述社会化方面详细论述了自己的观点，因为还有很多其它的因素影响到社会化，论据有力，下面的批评作者的观点的时候用的是一般的论述，说我们现在已经尽努力去培养我们的孩子了，给他们上学的机会，给予他们更多的教育，我觉得最好还加上，这就是我们培养我们的孩子更好去建设一个好社会，还要加上好社会是什么样子的，因此，我们已经在培养我们的孩子去建设一个更好的社会了，从而否定作者的第二观点。

chen_aoxiangUID: 2369512

  I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that the socialization of children today will play a much pivotal role in our society. However, besides socialization, the speaker might overlook other compelling factors which might equally affect our children. Moreover, I can not concede the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

    I turn first to my agreement with the speaker. After all, I can not pay emphasis on socialization too much. The quickly development of technology, especially the breakthrough(s) in the areas(area) of communication, such as the internet, has resulted in our more complex lifestyle and make(made) people today connect( are tied 怎么样) with other(others) more and more closely. In such a sweep changing society, individuals who want to succeed today are obliged to collect more and more meritorious information from others and learn to exhibit his talent to the public. In my view, it is the individuals' socialization that provides him the chance to succeed. In short, owing to our society's diversification, there is no doubt that individuals are closely related to the surroundings and other peoples around him. The more extroversive an individual is, the more chances will be revealed to him.

    Admittedly, it is conceivable that socialization is highly important. In my view, the speaker's statement might be too extreme for he overlooks other influences which could be significant to our child too--in terms of personal capability, belief and even genius. We must confirm that some tremendous feat is provided by those independent ideologists. For example, the famous physician, Daniel Tammet, a British young man who unluckily gets the disease of savant syndrome which make him unable to tell and move. However, this do not impede him to shows his great gift in mathematics and physics. In his independent thinking, great contribution in the science of cosmography was made by him, which causes him to be considered to be the next "Einstein". ( Stephen Hawking?)
    Daniel Tammet is merely one example of a history pattern in which it is individual's own ability that tremendous achievement was made. History has told us that in addition to personal capability, other factors such one's belief can also pose a great influence to personal success. One apt illustration in about the ancient astronomer named Copernicus, who have a strong belief of heliocentric theory after his careful scrutiny on his predecessor's record, however, this belief is deemed to be heresy during the middle ages when the power of religion was too great to even kill those who have a different ideology. It is hard-pressed for me to believe giant who did not have strong belief to truth can persist in such a "heresy" as heliocentric at those a horrible times. This points illustrate the point that it is individual belief rather that socialization that lead to our cognition of truth.
    As for the speaker's second claims, I can not concede that we do not learn to raise our children. In contrary, People today share a belief that the more we pay to educate our children, the more prosperous our society will be. It is impossible to think that children long before can have to opportunity to attend to school smoothly and get guidance and help from their parent. Children before will never be get such more attention from both their parents and even the national government.
   In sum, besides socialization, in my view, other factor such as personal ability and individual belief and so forth are equally significant to maintain our society's prosperity. I also can agree the speaker's second claims that we do not know how to raise our children