COMEON作文小组ammyana11.12作业

ammyanaUID: 2529083

People will spend less time in cooking or preparing food in twenty years.（07.11.24）

Have you ever thrilled by the food which your mother prepared for a dinner?Have you ever had a chance make a dish all by yourself?If so,cherish them,for the simple reason that you may lose this kind of happiness of cooking and preparing food someday in 20 years.Has this statement somewhat shcoked you?Let me explain it with the following.

To begin with,it is the social development that spurs people to follow the trend that few time can be spent enjoying the cooking pleasure.Modern society is really a high-paced and intensive environment,more and more people spare no time hurrying to their work and study in order to earn themselves better condition in today's fierce competetion.After a whole-day working,most people feel exhausted from the working stress,consequently,few people want to go to the supermarket,to take bags of vagetables and bread ,to chip the potatoes and to make a dinner for yourself or your family.Rather,the best option is to ask all the family members go outside,eating in a restaurant,just leave the housework behind and enjoy the dinner.

Further more,gradually the owners of restaurants and eateries realize the fact that people's preference is on their side,thus they will not miss such an oppotunity.With the delicious food,reasonable price,clean and comfortable circumtance,there's an increasing number of people choose to eat outside instead of cooking or preparing food at home.Particularly,when you want to invite friends or guests to have a dinner,eating in a decent restaurant must be more formal and help to make a better impression than preparing food at home.

However,we still have to remember the fact that preparing  food is an inimitable pleasure when cooking with your loved ones in a kitchen,chipping the ingrediants together,and looking them finish your soup and say "Delicious!".

To sum up,our society turns to this trend just as the opinion I stated above,for it is the product of industrialization and modern technology and no one have the power the avoid its happening.But what we have to do is to keep the cooking happiness in our heart,when tired of the indifferent environment in the future,have a relax and cook a meal for yourself.

gjwUID: 2512308

People will spend less time in cooking or preparing food in twenty years.（07.11.24）

Have you ever thrilled by the food which your mother prepared for a dinner?Have you ever had a chance make a dish all by yourself?If so（前面两个问题你是想用反诘 还是 设问？如果是前者似乎太绝对了，如果是后者那么用If so ,并没有回答前面的问题；lz这个开头可以在斟酌一下）,cherish them,for the simple reason that you may lose this kind of happiness of cooking and preparing food someday in 20 years.Has this statement somewhat shcoked you?Let me explain it with the following.

To begin with,it is the social development that spurs people to follow the trend that few time can be spent enjoying the cooking pleasure.Modern society is really a high-paced and intensive environment,more and more people spare no time hurrying（to hurry） to their work and study in order to earn themselves better condition in today's fierce competetion.After a whole-day working,most people feel exhausted from the working stress,consequently,few people want to go to the supermarket,to take bags of vagetables and bread ,to chip the potatoes and to make a dinner for yourself or your family.Rather,the best option is to ask all the family members go outside,eating in a restaurant,just leave the housework behind and enjoy the dinner.

Further more,gradually the owners of restaurants and eateries realize the fact that people's preference is on their side,thus they will not miss such an oppotunity.With the delicious food,reasonable price,clean and comfortable circumtance,there's an increasing number of people choose to eat outside instead of cooking or preparing food at home.Particularly,when you want to invite friends or guests to have a dinner,eating in a decent restaurant must be more formal and help to make a better impression than preparing food at home

However,we still have to remember the fact that preparing  food is an inimitable pleasure when cooking with your loved ones in a kitchen,chipping the ingrediants（是切菜的意思么，我不太确定） together,and looking them finish your soup and say "Delicious!".（这段似乎没有展开）

To sum up,our society turns to this trend just as the opinion I stated above,for it is the product of industrialization and modern technology and no one have （has）the power the(to) avoid its happening.But what we have to do is to keep the cooking happiness in our heart,when tired of the indifferent environment in the future,(you can) have a relax and cook a meal for yourself.

总结：总体还可以的，结构比较清晰，但lz在词汇上要再下点功夫，继续努力～

[ 本帖最后由 gjw 于 2008-11-13 14:02 编辑 ]

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

Have you ever thrilled by the food which your mother prepared for a dinner 多余?Have you ever had a chance to make a dish all by yourself? If so, cherish them, for the simple reason that you may lose this kind of happiness of->from cooking and preparing food someday in 20 years. Has this statement somewhat shcoked you? Let me explain it with the following.

To begin with, it is the social development that spurs people to follow the trend that few time can be spent建议改为主动句，感觉更流畅点 enjoying the cooking pleasure.Modern society is really a high-paced and intensive environment ,more and more people spare no time hurrying to their work and study in order to earn themselves better condition in today's fierce competetion.After a whole-day working, most people feel exhausted from the working stress,consequently,few people从后面想表达的意思来看应该不是few才对 want to go to the supermarket,to take bags of vagetables and bread ,to chip the potatoes and to make a dinner for yourself or your family.Rather？,the best option is to ask all the family members go outside,eating in a restaurant,just leave the housework behind and enjoy the dinner.

Further more,gradually the owners of restaurants and eateries realize the fact that people's preference is on their side好像不怎么地道啊……,thus they will not miss such an oppotunity.With the delicious food,reasonable price,clean and comfortable circumtance,there's an increasing number of people choose to eat outside instead of cooking or preparing food at home.Particularly,when you want to invite friends or guests to have a dinner,eating in a decent restaurant must be more formal and help to make a better impression than preparing food at home.

However,we still have to remember the fact that preparing  food is an inimitable pleasure when cooking with your loved ones in a kitchen,chipping the ingrediants应该是用错词了 together,and looking them finish your soup and say "Delicious!".

To sum up,our society turns to this trend just as the opinion I stated above,for it is the product of industrialization and modern technology and no one have the power the avoid its happening.But what we have to do is to keep the cooking happiness in our heart,when tired of the indifferent environment in the future,have a relax and cook a meal for yourself.

结构上没问题，例子也合理，在表达上要继续加油！

[ 本帖最后由 jackallen0714 于 2008-11-14 10:11 编辑 ]