【12月-1月IBT综合备考大帖】之【TWE作文】1.8号作业

xlwxxyUID: 2568970

As the economic developed, people need more television and movies to enrich their spiritual life. This causes the number of movies and television program greatly increased. Compared to the wild animal's life TV program and psychological education programs, which enhance our horizons, more fashion commercial movies have violence and sexual, which deem highly negative affect our young.

First and foremost, commercial movies which purpose is absorbing audiences’ attentions, will aggrandize and exaggerate the scene via amazing violence activities and fantasy actions. These fashion activities definitely fairly affected children's life. For instance, after watching the movie double- zero seven, it is pop for boys mimic the violent activities in the movies, which they deem highly hero.

Additionally, as more porno films are available to young,  nowadays, juvenile get-together watching the erotic movies are common phenomenon. These movies evidently will distract the young from normal study and pure spiritual of love.  As far as I know, young boys are more like to talk about sex than the adults when in their age. The movies and televisions is the critical resource of their topic of these low virtue things.

Last but not the least, as the movies are spout, pursuit the most fashion movie is one of the major entertainments of the young. When is the pop movie on, some of them like to compare to each other to who will watch the movie first. In my view, this is a waste of energy. And what's more, most of the famous commercial movies' target is merely absorbing audience' curiosity, made a sence of amazing or amusing, and nothing will remember after that.

To conclude, I definitely hold the agreement that movies and televisions do negative than positive to young. It bring more violence to young; distract young's spiritual toward study to low virtues things; also dominate the leisure time of young to pursuit them.

[ 本帖最后由 xlwxxy 于 2009-1-9 12:49 编辑 ]

d596086UID: 2522476

文章写得很好啊，尤其是结尾这句
It bring more violence to young; distract young's spiritual toward study to low virtues things; also dominate the leisure time of young to pursuit them
对于body的话，如果你按照这个结尾，可以把第二段分成2段来写，然后再展开充分一点
语言上基本没有问题

cos7jUID: 2492350

enrich their spiritual life好, 后面的越来越多的好词,感觉有的词汇比较上档次,错误较少,

As the economic(应该用名词吧) developed, people need more television and movies to enrich their spiritual life. This causes the number of movies and television program(加s) greatly increased. Compared to the wild animal's life TV program and psychological education programs, which enhance our horizons, more fashion commercial movies have violence and sexual (scene), which deem highly negative affect our young.

First and foremost, commercial movies which(whose) purpose is absorbing audiences’ attentions, will aggrandize and exaggerate the scene via amazing violence activities and fantasy actions. These fashion activities definitely fairly affected children's life. For instance, after watching the movie double- zero seven, it is pop for boys mimic the violent activities in the movies, which they deem highly hero.

Additionally, as more porno(我的生词,呵呵) films are available to young,  nowadays, juvenile get-together watching the erotic movies are common phenomenon. These movies evidently will distract the young from normal study and pure spiritual of love.  As far as I know, young boys are more like to talk about sex than the adults when in their age. The movies and televisions is the critical resource of their topic of these low virtue things.

Last but not the least, as the movies are spout, pursuit the most fashion movie is one of the major entertainments of the young. When is the pop movie on, some of them like to compare to each other to who will watch the movie first. In my view, this is a waste of energy. And what's more, most of the famous commercial movies' target is merely absorbing audience' curiosity, made a sence of amazing or amusing, and nothing will remember(be remembered) after that.

To conclude, I definitely hold the agreement that movies and televisions do negative than positive to young. It bring more violence to young; distract young's spiritual toward study to low virtues things; also dominate the leisure time of young to pursuit (用动词吧prusue)them.|

[ 本帖最后由 cos7j 于 2009-1-9 19:16 编辑 ]

xlwxxyUID: 2568970

谢谢楼上两位的批改和鼓励.
没有走题就好.
我会继续努力的!