【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】Amber09.1.1作文+表个决心

Amber0926UID: 2555355

我觉得自己是个特不自觉的人，18号就要考试了每天学习的时间还不足3小时。。。
要改掉自己懒惰的毛病，不管结果怎样，发了新年的第一篇作文就洗心革面，在未来的半个月内好好努力一把~

TOPIC: Agree or disagree that nowadays people are too much emphasized on appearance and fashion.

we are always on a arduous journey in seeking for the answer of this question how and what can make us appearance look more beautiful and more gorgeous that will bring benefit and convenice for us in modern times. A multitude of people believe that in order to give others a good impression at the first time, we should better to embellish ourselves all the times, however, others may hold an opposite opinion about it . From my personal angle, the latter idea coinside with mine.

It is goes without saying that people always indulge in enjoing perfect appearance and following fashion will give rise to numorous  bad influence of themselves,such as cost too much money and energy on it. we can take a glance at a common example, my classmate, lucy, who is a fashionable girl in our class, while she invariably cost too much money on her gorgeous clothing, attracting shoes and diverise other amazing items. Seldom can girls not appreciate her, virtually, while she always suffers hunger and hardship to save money pay for those expensive so-called fashion items. so i am fully conviced that people are too much emphasized on apperance and fashion is not necessary.

Another point worth being mentioned is so-called fashion that is forever changing all the times, thus people will fail to possess it in the end. As we know, beautiful clothes never fail to fascinating women's eye balls, but they never really catch it. A multitude of women live under the illusion that chase the latest clothes and buy them at once is just bear fashion. It is not a optimal choice, for if numorous people all wear the same newest clothes, whether the "newest" is really"fashion"?

Such is human nature, that a great many people are often willing to sacrifice so much money and energy on their appearance and pursue fashion for the dubious privilege make a dazzling appearance is beyond me. It will lead to so much misery and expense if people chose to emphasize too much on their appearance.

james011137UID: 2280989

2个论点的角度都不错~
第一个的例证：买衣服不吃饭  有点极端哈 不如说说她成绩倒数第一 男朋友一堆。。
第二个论点立意很好，可以再深入讨论所谓fashion只不过是浮云
字数要是再多点就好了！
一些好词： indulge in 沉迷于
           invariably  一成不变的

glamorouskyUID: 2459211

放下屠刀 立地成佛~~~~~加油:)

hustly0415UID: 2407456

we are always on an arduous journey in seeking for the answer of(to) this question how and what can make us appearance look more beautiful and more gorgeous that will bring benefit and convenice for us in modern times. A multitude of people believe that in order to give others a good impression at the first time, we should better to embellish ourselves all the times, however, others may hold an opposite opinion about it . From my personal angle, the latter idea coinside with mine.

It is goes without saying that people always indulge in enjoing perfect appearance and following fashion will give rise to numorous  bad influence of themselves,such as cost too much money and energy on it. we can take a glance at a common example, my classmate, lucy, who is a fashionable girl in our class, while she invariably cost too much money on her gorgeous clothing, attracting shoes and diverise other amazing items. Seldom can girls not appreciate her, virtually, while she always suffers hunger and hardship to save money pay for those expensive so-called fashion items. so i am fully conviced that people are too much emphasized on apperance and fashion is not necessary
感觉这段第一句有些混乱啊。。

Another point worth being mentioned is so-called fashion that is forever changing all the times,（forever 与all the times 是不是重复了） thus people will fail to possess it in the end. As we know, beautiful clothes never fail to fascinating women's eye balls, but they never really catch it. A multitude of women live under the illusion that chase the latest clothes and buy them at once is just bear fashion. It is not a optimal choice, for if numorous people all wear the same newest clothes, whether the "newest" is really"fashion"?

Such is human nature, that a great many people are often willing to sacrifice so much money and energy on their appearance and pursue fashion for the dubious privilege make a dazzling appearance is beyond me. （这个句子好像有点混乱...）It will lead to so much misery and expense if people chose to emphasize too much on their appearance

总的来说，这篇文章还是不错的。加油，多多努力~~

但是有几个小建议：
1、借用豆豆版主给我的建议：永远不要写复杂句~~！！除非你能保证那是对的~~~（我很感谢他的这个建议）

2.文章当中有些介词好像用得不恰当，标出来了一部分，注意积累一下。

3、从论证的角度，第二段的论证方式似乎不是很好。个人意见。

wish~~

[ 本帖最后由 hustly0415 于 2009-1-2 20:59 编辑 ]

xlwxxyUID: 2568970

楼上的建议很中肯.
感觉这样的是非题挺难写的.不知道要不要表态度的好.