argument117 第一次限时成功,大家拍啊~~~

11yvetteUID: 2102418

Argument117  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：29分35秒     528 words
从2005年6月17日16时26分到2005年6月17日16时29分

------题目------
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'

------正文------
The memo above seems logical at the first glance, however, it is not so through deliberated consideration, many logical fallacies was not thought over by the business manager before he gets to the conclusion.

To begin with, the survey is unconvincing as it neither gives the sample size nor shows up the place it takes as it overlooking the representative. If the survey is only took in one company which highly demands its employees to work at home, then 70% is the data easily attained, or it is took in some companies that employs much more workers in one time while their offices are not enough to contain so many neophytes that they can only work at home with the files bringing from office. These are all the possibilities for us to suspect the accuracy of the survey as that the manager does not mentioned. All what makes the memo highly ungrounded.

Secondly, the manager argues that the company has not seen impressive sales in office-supply departments. However, that the company has not seen is not equal to the sales in the departments are really not so impressive. All that attributes to some reasons, such as the statistic analysis offices meet some difficulties in getting the data from the office-supply departments so that they can not deal with the statistics of the departments’ sales. Or the office-supply departments do augment their sales not so obviously but with stable, low-amplitude increasing in sales such as each month they magnify about 3%-5% slightly but we can not ignore the accumulating effects of this small movement. Or the sales in office-supply departments are the highest one in the company but the manager does neglect this, and the sales almost get to the neck of the bottle to increase any more. Lack of eliminating all these factors, the manager hastily draw the conclusion of the memo makes it quite irrational.

Moreover, even though we concede that there are many employees required working at home, the manager's suggestion that they would increase the stock of home office machines seems ridiculous. Since he does not consider other factors as some SOHOs need only a computer with internet which can make their work become much easier. They do not need anything related to papers, as they work on the computers, they just send their results through internet by email or MSN, then the next day, they get to their office and receive what they sent last night, all the results suddenly come to their office computers. Though the net sometimes seems madly and do not use so conveniently, under such situation, they can bring all these data through flash disk, or even MP3 which stores data in a quick approach as operating with "Ctrl C + Ctrl V". No more papers’ work means the home office machines like printers, copy machines, paper shredders which based on papers seem no more application, and the paper, pens and staplers are even useless.

To conclude, the manager provides no evidence on the survey, and less reliable factors on the relationship between the seems-no-impressive-sales and the supplicant on office-machines, the memo is not so acceptable as it stands.

发现限时写好紧张的说...基本就是想到什么说什么,可能比较乱,大家尽管拍~~~
留链接互拍啊,可别忘了~~~

chan1983UID: 166440

The memo above seems logical at the first glance, however, it is not so through deliberated consideration, many logical fallacies was not thought over by the business manager before he gets to the conclusion.

To begin with, the survey is unconvincing as it neither gives the sample size nor shows up the place it takes as it overlooking the representative. If the survey is only took（taken） in one company which highly demands its employees to work at home, then 70% is the data easily attained, or it is took（taken） in some companies that employs much more workers in one time while their offices are not enough to contain so many neophytes that they can only work at home with the files bringing（brought） from office. These are all the possibilities for us to suspect the accuracy of the survey as that the manager does not mentioned. All what makes the memo highly ungrounded.

Secondly, the manager argues that the company has not seen impressive sales in office-supply departments. However, that the company has not seen is not equal to （应加上the situation etc 要不然是病句了）the sales in the departments are really not so impressive. All that attributes to some reasons, such as the statistic analysis offices meet some difficulties in getting the data from the office-supply departments so that they can not deal with the statistics of the departments’ sales. Or the office-supply departments do augment their sales not so obviously but with stable, low-amplitude increasing in sales such as each month they magnify about 3%-5% slightly but we can not ignore the accumulating effects of this small movement. Or the sales in office-supply departments are the highest one in the company but the manager does neglect this, and the sales almost get to the neck of the bottle to increase any more. Lack of eliminating all these factors, the manager hastily draw the conclusion of the memo makes it quite irrational.

Moreover, even though we concede that there are many employees required working at home, the manager's suggestion that they would increase the stock of home office machines seems ridiculous. Since he does not consider other factors as some SOHOs need only a computer with internet which can make their work become (delete) much easier. They do not need anything related to papers, as they work on the computers, they just send their results through internet by email or MSN, then the next day, they get to their office and receive what they sent last night, all the results suddenly come to their office computers. Though the net sometimes seems madly and do not use so conveniently, under such situation, they can bring all these data through flash disk, or even MP3 which stores data in a quick approach as operating with "Ctrl C + Ctrl V". No more papers’ work means the home office machines like printers, copy machines, paper shredders which based on papers seem no more application, and the paper, pens and staplers are even useless.

To conclude, the manager provides no evidence on the survey, and less reliable factors on the relationship between the seems-no-impressive-sales and the supplicant on office-machines, the memo is not so acceptable as it stands.
Ps: 建议还有个攻击点：就是提中最后提到的”最有收益的部门”，文章论述很详细，第2点我没想到嘎，这么短时间内写这么多pfpf.

tangentUID: 209829

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：29分35秒     528 words
从2005年6月17日16时26分到2005年6月17日16时29分

------题目------
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'

------正文------
The memo above seems logical at the first glance, however, it is not so through deliberated consideration, 连词many logical fallacies was not thought over by the business manager before hehe/she gets to the conclusion.

To begin with, the survey is unconvincing as it neither gives the sample size nor shows up the place it takes as it overlooking the representative. If the survey is only took in one company which highly demands its employees to work at home, then 70% is the data easily attained, or it is took in some companies that employs much more workers in one time while their offices are not enough to contain so many neophytes that they can only work at home with the files bringing from office. These are all the possibilities for us to suspect the accuracy of the survey as that the manager does not mentioned. All what makes the memo highly ungrounded.最后这句不好，与上一句重复

Secondly, the manager argues that the company has not seen impressive sales in office-supply departments. However, that the company has not seen is not equal to the sales in the departments are really not so impressive. All that attributes to some reasons, such as the statistic analysis offices meet some difficulties in getting the data from the office-supply departments so that they can not deal with the statistics of the departments’ sales. Or the office-supply departments do augment their sales not so obviously but with stable, low-amplitude increasing in sales such as each month they magnify about 3%-5% slightly but we can not ignore the accumulating effects of this small movement. Or the sales in office-supply departments are the highest one in the company but the manager does neglect this, and the sales almost get to the neck of the bottle to increase any more. Lack of eliminating all these factors, the manager hastily draws the conclusion of the memowhich makes it quite irrational.

Moreover, even though we concede that there are many employees required working at home, the manager's suggestion that they would increase the stock of home office machines seems ridiculous. Since he does not consider other factors as some SOHOs太超前了吧 need only a computer with internet which can make their work become much easier. They do not need anything related to papers, as they work on the computers, they just send their results through internet by email or MSN这个有点多余了吧, then the next day, they get to their office and receive what they sent last night, 这句也有点多余了，难道第二天他不去收吗。少了soall the results suddenly come to their office computers. Though the net sometimes seems madly and do not use so conveniently, under such situation, they can bring all these data through flash disk, or even MP3 which stores data in a quick approach as operating with "Ctrl C + Ctrl V". 天啊，你是在写说明书吗？那个chan1983没给你说出来吗？难道他和你同样认为这些很重要？I have no ideaNo more papers’ work means the home office machines like printers, copy machines, paper shredders which based on papers seem no more application, and the paper, pens and staplers are even useless.

To conclude, the manager provides no evidence on the survey, and less reliable factors on the relationship between the seems-no-impressive-sales and the supplicant on office-machines, the memo is not so acceptable as it stands.感觉别的写的太多了

glassfrogUID: 170569

好厉害啊，我打字才打300多个，汗，以后一定要节约时间。