issue147 GOGOGO

azaleaUID: 196122

Issue 147/32
"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
“传统与现代化水火难容，人们必须在两者之间作出抉择。”

1 Intro:tradition is compatible with modernization and even is the foundation of the latter.
2 art and literature
3 urbanization
4 democratization
5 Conclusion


Modernization, by definition, refers to the process of urbanization, industrialization and democratization, while tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs, way of life, crafts, etc., that are handed down from generation to generation in a society. Are they mutually exclusive as the author states? Though I admit that sometimes tradition and modernization do conflict, more often than not, tradition is compatible with modernization and even is the foundation of the latter.

In the first place, tradition can go hand in hand with the process of modernization. Various evidence proves this, especially in the realm of art and literature. Modern artists may no longer use brush and paint, but turn to graphic software on computer to delineate life, nevertheless, they still need to explore the beauty or graveness of the reality with their own eyes and heart, just as foregone artists did hundreds of years ago. The same is true with writers. They type on the keyboard into computer what they want to narrate, rather than on a typewriter or even write by hand, thanks to the technological development in modernization. Still they are using the same language, with a nuance of grammar and diction, to mirror the modern world. If they cast away the tool to write that is handed down for many generations, their readers can hardly understand them through a book written without the traditional language. As we can see, tradition is deep-rooted in a society's blood and soul, and if a person grows up in the society, he/she cannot evade the influence posed by it, no matter how drastic the world may change.

Even in more far-reaching fields like urbanization and industrialization, tradition can still survive in harmony with modernization. The city of Paris leaves a deep impression on me by its  fine preservation of the tradition. In the historical part of the city, many old buildings dating from centuries ago are well preserved and some of them are open to visitors. The most famous among them are the Louvre palace and Van Salle Palace. At the same time, modern industrial districts and brand-new government buildings are located in the suburb in the so-called 'national defence district'. The thriving of the modern Paris does not supplant the survival of the ancient counterpart, conversely, the two part bring out the best in each other. The beauty of Paris reminds me something sad in my own country, China, where modernization is on the way. In some cities, people destroy historical buildings to make room for modern high-rises, without a glance on the history being torn apart as the buildings are torn down. Fortunately, the government and common people are becoming aware that good tradition should not be lost in modernization, which is exciting news to the ancient architectures in China.

On the other hand, tradition may conflict modernization in certain areas, for example the process of democratization. Some traditional beliefs and customs do blockade reform and development. For instance, in ancient China, people thought it immoral for a woman to get remarried when her husband died, let alone going out to work and entertain. This tradition must be broken away from if we want a democratic society. However, in most cases, tradition does more good than evil. Many old doctrines like honest, integrity, altruism, patriotism, etc. should be preserved and blazoned in order to guarantee the stability and development in a modern democratic society.

To sum up, tradition is in no way a deterrence to modernization. Apart from a few out-of-date traditions that should be left in the past, most traditions deserve respect and preservation, since they lie deep in our soul, carry the ponderance of history, and are the foundation of a stable democratic society.

618words

写完才发现好像没写到people must choose那句。。是不是跑题啊 怕怕
而且发现自己一写issue就胡思乱想 写了快3个小时！

[ 本帖最后由 azalea 于 2006-1-23 23:41 编辑 ]

azaleaUID: 196122

都没人拍我的 :(

yunziluoUID: 2164829

Issue 147/32
"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
“传统与现代化水火难容，人们必须在两者之间作出抉择。”

1 Intro:tradition is compatible with modernization and even is the foundation of the latter.
2 art and literature
3 urbanization
4 democratization
5 Conclusion


Modernization, by definition, refers to the process of urbanization, industrialization and democratization, while tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs, way of life, crafts, etc., that are handed down from generation to generation in a society. Are they mutually exclusive as the author states? Though I admit that sometimes tradition and modernization do conflict, more often than not, tradition is compatible with modernization and even is the foundation of the latter.条理很清楚，语言很干净。
In the first place, tradition can go hand in hand with the process of modernization. Various evidence proves this, especially in the realm of art and literature. Modern artists may no longer use brush and paint, but turn to graphic software on computer to delineate life, nevertheless, they still need to explore the beauty or graveness of the reality with their own eyes and heart, just as foregone artists did hundreds of years ago. The same is true with writers. They type on the keyboard into computer what they want to narrate, rather than on a typewriter or even write by hand, thanks to the technological development in modernization. Still they are using the same language, with a nuance of grammar and diction, to mirror the modern world. If they cast away the tool to write that is handed down for many generations, their readers can hardly understand them through a book written without the traditional language. As we can see, tradition is deep-rooted in a society's blood and soul, and if a person grows up in the society, he/she cannot evade the influence posed by it, no matter how drastic the world may change.（这段论述很好，但是首段中现代化的定义是不是得修一修，技术和科技的进步是现代化很重要的一面啊。）
Even in more far-reaching fields like urbanization and industrialization, tradition can still survive in harmony with modernization. The city of Paris leaves a deep impression on me by its  fine preservation of the tradition. In the historical part of the city, many old buildings dating from centuries ago are well preserved and some of them are open to visitors. The most famous among them are the Louvre palace and Van Salle Palace. At the same time, modern industrial districts and brand-new government buildings are located in the suburb in the so-called 'national defence district'. The thriving of the modern Paris does not supplant the survival of the ancient counterpart, conversely, the two part bring out the best in each other. The beauty of Paris reminds me something sad in my own country, China, where modernization is on the way. In some cities, people destroy historical buildings to make room for modern high-rises, without a glance on the history being torn apart as the buildings are torn down. Fortunately, the government and common people are becoming aware that good tradition should not be lost in modernization, which is exciting news to the ancient architectures in China. 很好很好！例子很生动，有对比，有阐明观点，说出了我想说但说不出来的话。
On the other hand, tradition may conflict modernization in certain areas, for example the process of democratization. Some traditional beliefs and customs do blockade reform and development. For instance, in ancient China, people thought it immoral for a woman to get remarried when her husband died, let alone going out to work and entertain. This tradition must be broken away from if we want a democratic society. However, in most cases, tradition does more good than evil. Many old doctrines like honest, integrity, altruism, patriotism, etc. should be preserved and blazoned in order to guarantee the stability and development in a modern democratic society. 想问一问，女权是包含在民主的含义里的吗。

To sum up, tradition is in no way a deterrence to modernization. Apart from a few out-of-date traditions that should be left in the past, most traditions deserve respect and preservation, since they lie deep in our soul, carry the ponderance of history, and are the foundation of a stable democratic society.

618words

写完才发现好像没写到people must choose那句。。是不是跑题啊 怕怕
而且发现自己一写issue就胡思乱想 写了快3个小时！

文章写得很好啊，我觉得一点都不跑题
只是对你对现代化下的定义有些怀疑，我想根据你的文章是不是应该修正一下。

neverstopcowUID: 2149686

1 Intro:tradition is compatible with modernization and even is the foundation of the latter.
2 art and literature
3 urbanization
4 democratization
5 Conclusion


Modernization, by definition, refers to the process of urbanization, industrialization and democratization, while tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs, way of life, crafts, etc., that （which）are handed down from generation to generation in a society. Are they mutually exclusive as the author states? Though I admit that sometimes tradition and modernization do conflict, more often than not,(这个短语表时常的意思，改成more often是不是更贴切些？) tradition is compatible with modernization and even is the foundation of the latter.

In the first place, tradition can go hand in hand with the process of modernization. Various evidence proves this, especially in the realm of art and literature. Modern artists may no longer use brush and paint, but turn to graphic software on computer to delineate life, nevertheless, they still need to explore the beauty or graveness （严肃认真？）of the reality with their own eyes and hearts, just as foregone artists did hundreds of years ago. (这个例子感觉不是很恰当，那我也可以这样说虽然现在上班一般都是坐车，但是我们还是用两条腿走路，开玩笑，其实这个例子改一下，就说虽然现在艺术这么学科相比其以前发展了很多，可是用笔和颜料作画的传统还是没变，azalea在想想把) The same is true with writers. They type on the keyboard into computer what they want to narrate, rather than on a typewriter or even write by hand, thanks to the technological development in modernization. Still they are using the same language, with a nuance of grammar and diction, to mirror the modern world. If they cast away the tool to write that is handed down for many generations, their readers can (虚拟语气，用could）hardly understand them through a book written without the traditional language. As we can see, tradition is deep-rooted in a society's blood and soul, and if a person grows up in the society, he/she cannot evade the influence posed by it, no matter how drastic the world may change.

Even in more far-reaching fields like urbanization and industrialization, tradition can still survive in harmony with modernization. The city of Paris leaves a deep impression on me by its  fine preservation of the tradition. In the historical part of the city, many old buildings dating from centuries ago are well preserved and some of them are open to visitors. The most famous (这里要有个名词) among them are the Louvre palace and Van Salle Palace. At the same time, modern industrial districts and brand-new government buildings are located in the suburb in the so-called 'national defence district'. The thriving of the modern Paris does not supplant（supplant和后面的survival好像有点冲突，要么把survival去掉，要么换个动词把） the survival of the ancient counterpart, conversely, the two part bring out the best in each other. The beauty of Paris reminds me something sad in my own country, China, where modernization is on the way. In some cities, people destroy historical buildings to make room for modern high-rises, without a glance on the history being torn apart as the buildings are torn down. Fortunately, the government and common people are becoming aware（换乘coming into awareness是不是好些？） that good tradition should not be lost in modernization, which is exciting news to the ancient architectures in China. （有点多余）

On the other hand, tradition may conflict modernization in certain areas, for example the process of democratization. Some traditional beliefs and customs do blockade reform and development. For instance, in ancient China, people thought it immoral for a woman to get remarried when her husband died（当她丈夫死的时候？ 在她丈夫死之后都不行把）, let alone （查字典事不管不打扰的意思，这里做和解阿？）going out to work and entertain. This tradition must be broken away from if we want a democratic society. However, in most cases, tradition does more good than evil. Many old doctrines like honest, integrity, altruism, patriotism, etc. should be preserved and blazoned in order to guarantee the stability and development in a modern democratic society.

To sum up, tradition is in no way a deterrence to modernization. Apart from a few out-of-date traditions that should be left in the past, most traditions deserve respect and preservation, since they lie deep in our soul, carry the ponderance of history, and are the foundation of a stable democratic society.（最后一段概括得很好，赞~）

总体说来，例子丰富，词汇多变，可以感受到azalea写的时候想法很多，这点就跟我不一样，我就是典型的文思枯竭，对着电脑半天想不出一句话，不过导致共同的结果就是思维部连续，没有清晰的层次和脉络，这篇文章，再回头看看，前一段将艺术文学的例子中可以并存，下面一段扩展到工业化城市化上面，（且不说这中间又没有明显的扩展关系），那么你的倒数第二段常理上推断可能就是一个让步了，开头也好像是的，可是到段尾又有一个however了，如果你原本想着一段写民主化的领域，就应该先写最后的传统如何有利于民主化了，加不加让步无所谓，这样符合逻辑一些
最后，感觉说巴黎建筑那段有点罗索精炼一下吧，感觉好像越是亲身体会越说不清楚，我觉得好像是这样

加一UID: 2168628

最近太忙了,上两次交的作业有点力不从心了...没想到出了这么2的错误,太不好意思了,以后一定不会拉:)
语言我就不改了#%^!@)&*
我看了几遍,整体感觉是连接词太少,因为AW考的是分析,是推理.
这篇文章没有太多的逻辑,到好象是每段开头写一个主题句,剩下的工作就是讲故事,呵呵
还有一个问题是例子不够精练,有一点随意..

我那篇里写到的宪政,其实就是你的文章中涉及到的民主拉,呵呵

azaleaUID: 196122

回答一下yunzi的问题：我查了一下民主的定义
democracy
a : government by the people;  especially   : rule of the majority  b : a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections

既然是多数人统治 必然包括women 否则少了一半 何来多数人
women的地位如果与men不平等 就不可能实现多数人的统治和自由选举

这是我的理解

azaleaUID: 196122

Modernization, by definition, refers to the process of urbanization, industrialization and democratization, while tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs, way of life, crafts, etc., that （which）[汗。。我错了]are handed down from generation to generation in a society. Are they mutually exclusive as the author states? Though I admit that sometimes tradition and modernization do conflict, more often than not,(这个短语表时常的意思，改成more often是不是更贴切些？) [恩 有道理！]tradition is compatible with modernization and even is the foundation of the latter.

In the first place, tradition can go hand in hand with the process of modernization. Various evidence proves this, especially in the realm of art and literature. Modern artists may no longer use brush and paint, but turn to graphic software on computer to delineate life, nevertheless, they still need to explore the beauty or graveness （严肃认真？）[就是说现实一方面是美丽的 一方面也有严肃重大的问题]of the reality with their own eyes and hearts, just as foregone artists did hundreds of years ago. (这个例子感觉不是很恰当，那我也可以这样说虽然现在上班一般都是坐车，但是我们还是用两条腿走路，开玩笑，其实这个例子改一下，就说虽然现在艺术这么学科相比其以前发展了很多，可是用笔和颜料作画的传统还是没变，azalea在想想把)[哦~我这里本意是说现代化带来了绘画方式的革新 但作为一个艺术家的本质没有改变 并不是说电脑完全取代了笔 所以前面用了may 不过确实没表达清楚:(] The same is true with writers. They type on the keyboard into computer what they want to narrate, rather than on a typewriter or even write by hand, thanks to the technological development in modernization. Still they are using the same language, with a nuance of grammar and diction, to mirror the modern world. If they cast away the tool to write that is handed down for many generations, their readers can (虚拟语气，用could）[啊 对的！]hardly understand them through a book written without the traditional language. As we can see, tradition is deep-rooted in a society's blood and soul, and if a person grows up in the society, he/she cannot evade the influence posed by it, no matter how drastic the world may change.

Even in more far-reaching fields like urbanization and industrialization, tradition can still survive in harmony with modernization. The city of Paris leaves a deep impression on me by its  fine preservation of the tradition. In the historical part of the city, many old buildings dating from centuries ago are well preserved and some of them are open to visitors. The most famous (这里要有个名词)[不用的 the+adj.可以表示一类事物或一个事物的] among them are the Louvre palace and Van Salle Palace. At the same time, modern industrial districts and brand-new government buildings are located in the suburb in the so-called 'national defence district'. The thriving of the modern Paris does not supplant（supplant和后面的survival好像有点冲突，要么把survival去掉，要么换个动词把）[恩 那就改成threaten 我本意是觉得thrive和survive压韵的 不过换了形式就没效果了-.-] the survival of the ancient counterpart, conversely, the two part bring out the best in each other. The beauty of Paris reminds me something sad in my own country, China, where modernization is on the way. In some cities, people destroy historical buildings to make room for modern high-rises, without a glance on the history being torn apart as the buildings are torn down. Fortunately, the government and common people are becoming aware（换乘coming into awareness是不是好些？）[恩！好建议] that good tradition should not be lost in modernization, which is exciting news to the ancient architectures in China. （有点多余）[不说的话 觉得这句话太短了。。]

On the other hand, tradition may conflict modernization in certain areas, for example the process of democratization. Some traditional beliefs and customs do blockade reform and development. For instance, in ancient China, people thought it immoral for a woman to get remarried when her husband died（当她丈夫死的时候？ 在她丈夫死之后都不行把）, [哦！after..]let alone （查字典事不管不打扰的意思，这里做和解阿？）[let alone意思是更不用说] going out to work and entertain. This tradition must be broken away from if we want a democratic society. However, in most cases, tradition does more good than evil. Many old doctrines like honest, integrity, altruism, patriotism, etc. should be preserved and blazoned in order to guarantee the stability and development in a modern democratic society.

To sum up, tradition is in no way a deterrence to modernization. Apart from a few out-of-date traditions that should be left in the past, most traditions deserve respect and preservation, since they lie deep in our soul, carry the ponderance of history, and are the foundation of a stable democratic society.（最后一段概括得很好，赞~）[谢谢哦~我本来是想3个原因对应3个主体段 不过感觉对应不是那么明确。。]

总体说来，例子丰富，词汇多变，可以感受到azalea写的时候想法很多，这点就跟我不一样，我就是典型的文思枯竭，对着电脑半天想不出一句话，不过导致共同的结果就是思维部连续，没有清晰的层次和脉络，这篇文章，再回头看看，前一段将艺术文学的例子中可以并存，下面一段扩展到工业化城市化上面，（且不说这中间又没有明显的扩展关系），那么你的倒数第二段常理上推断可能就是一个让步了，[恩 是让步的]开头也好像是的，可是到段尾又有一个however了，如果你原本想着一段写民主化的领域，就应该先写最后的传统如何有利于民主化了，加不加让步无所谓，这样符合逻辑一些[或者把让步放在倒数第2段最后？]
最后，感觉说巴黎建筑那段有点罗索精炼一下吧，感觉好像越是亲身体会越说不清楚，我觉得好像是这样 [noda 我当时就觉得怎么都说不清楚 没办法表达出我的感受。。]

[谢谢cow的砖！感动~ 觉得还是满多问题的。。自己都发现不了 多谢指出！]