argument200 【kito交作业】

kito9695UID：209685

第二十次作业
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝Argument＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝===
【题目】
Argument200 Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

【翻译】
从牙医那里获得的统计数据表明在看牙医时男性昏厥的次数是女性的三倍。这一证据说明男性在接受牙科治疗时比女性更容易感到痛楚。因此，那些做广告来吸引患者的牙医应该定位于男性顾客，并同时强调他们的麻醉技术和他们的职员对于紧张和痛苦患者的敏感度。

【提纲】
1、Statistics的有效性
①样本选择有效性：样本容量如何
②调查过程有效性：是否是随机选择
③调查结果有效性：男女病者基数如何，有效地比较应当是昏厥率而不是昏厥次数
2、错误因果：昏厥与痛楚
①可能是男性本身易昏厥
②女性更坚强一些能够忍受牙齿的痛楚
③女性因害怕痛楚而减少就医次数或不去就医
④或许是某些药物的作用引起昏厥而非疼痛
3、在假设男性比女性更易感受痛楚的前提下，广告的有效性问题
①首先，不一定要针对男性群体，女性患者可能占大部分；男性未必相信广告真实性
②其次，麻醉技术和职员的敏感度不是患者关心的问题，且敏感不代表能够使患者不疼
③再次，患者更关心其他一些因素，比如医生技术、卫生条件、价格等

【正文】
The arguer, basing on statistics and a therefore scenario that men are more inclined to be distressed, infers that anesthetic techniques and staffs’ sensitivity are the main factors should be involved in advertisement of dentists, mainly aiming at male consumers. However a careful scrutiny reveals its illogical points, as I talked below.

To begin with, the validity of the statistics is open to doubt. First is the sample. What is the sample? Is it big enough to keep the statistics valid? If the sample is too limited it could not fairly illustrate the argument. Secondly, from the statistics quoted in the argument, however, we find no sign of such procedures of random sampling, and thus have good reason to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general situation of all patients as a whole. What is more, the result of the statistics also lacks credibility. Though it is three times more than women that men faint when visiting the dentist, however, it is possible that the total number of men in the statistics is also large than that of women and therefore the faint rate of men is less than the women’s as a matter of fact. Thus, to more justify the argument, the arguer needs to provide more information about the statistics.

Secondly, granted that the statistics are valid, however the mere fact that men are more likely to faint while visiting the dentist could not necessarily account for the assertion that men are more easily to be distressed about having dental work done than women are, for the faint may be caused by other possible reasons. For an example, it is possible that comparing with women’s body condition, men’s is quite different and easier to faint. Or perhaps female patients are too afeard to visit dentist which lead to the result of more men faint. Besides, it is highly possible that the faint is caused by some auxiliary medicine rather than distresses itself.

Moreover, even if the assumption men are more likely to faint because they are easily to distress is true, however, the method provided by the argument about how to make the advertisement effective and attractive seems rather unconvincing as I explains. On the one hand, no evidence provided indicates that male patients are far more than female patients, which, if not, would lend little support to the argument; on the other hand, the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of staff are not the factors concerned by the patients. And also, great sensitivity does not fairly equal with less distresses patients will suffer. Besides, the arguer fails to consider other possible issues that may prove more important to patients, such as the skill of the dentist, the sanitary conditions, and the price and so on. Unless taking all the possibilities above into account, the argument about the advertisement will seems rather groundless.  

In sum, the argument is well-recounted, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. To make it logically accepted, the arguer should first keep the statistics valid and then do further investigation and consideration about the target consumers and what they mainly concern when choosing a dentist.

谢谢拍~:handshake

jingjingtousUID：2164820

占座，吃完饭回来改！

jingjingtousUID：2164820

Argument200 Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

【翻译】
从牙医那里获得的统计数据表明在看牙医时男性昏厥的次数是女性的三倍。这一证据说明男性在接受牙科治疗时比女性更容易感到痛楚。因此，那些做广告来吸引患者的牙医应该定位于男性顾客，并同时强调他们的麻醉技术和他们的职员对于紧张和痛苦患者的敏感度。

【提纲】
1、Statistics的有效性
①样本选择有效性：样本容量如何
②调查过程有效性：是否是随机选择
③调查结果有效性：男女病者基数如何，有效地比较应当是昏厥率而不是昏厥次数
2、错误因果：昏厥与痛楚
①可能是男性本身易昏厥
②女性更坚强一些能够忍受牙齿的痛楚
①②两点感觉有点重复
③女性因害怕痛楚而减少就医次数或不去就医
④或许是某些药物的作用引起昏厥而非疼痛
3、在假设男性比女性更易感受痛楚的前提下，广告的有效性问题
①首先，不一定要针对男性群体，女性患者可能占大部分；男性未必相信广告真实性
②其次，麻醉技术和职员的敏感度不是患者关心的问题，且敏感不代表能够使患者不疼
③再次，患者更关心其他一些因素，比如医生技术、卫生条件、价格等
很棒的提纲，分析的好全面
【正文】
The arguer, basing on statistics and a therefore scenario that men are more inclined to be distressed, infers that anesthetic techniques and staffs’ sensitivity are the main factors should be involved in advertisement of dentists dental work, mainly aiming at male consumers customers. However, a careful scrutiny reveals its illogical points, as I talked below. 你的开头挺新的，即没有summerize又高度概括，不错的尝试哟

To begin with, the validity of the statistics is open to doubt. First is the sample. What is the sample?这句去掉 Is it big enough to keep the statistics valid? If the sample is too limited it could not fairly illustrate support the argument.可以不用if从句的，maybe it is too limited to support the author's conclusion  Secondly, from the statistics quoted in the argument, however去掉，这里没有转折关系, we find no sign of such procedures of random sampling, and thus have good reason to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general situation of all patients as a whole. 这句感觉有点冗长，直接说we might suspect whether the sample is representative of....What is more, the result of the statistics also lacks credibility. Though it is three times more than women that men faint when visiting the dentist, however, it is possible that the total number of men in the statistics去掉 is also large larger than that of women and therefore the faint rate of men is less than the women’s as a matter of fact. Thus, to more justify the argument可以这样说吗？, the arguer needs to provide more information about the statistics什么数据？这里我觉得应该具体一点，比如患者的健康状况，年龄，医疗记录等等。.
感觉你不应该在sample上下太多功夫，你可以直接说the very sample is lack of representativ and randomness 就好了呀，我觉得真正考试的时候没有那么多时间让你具体论证的，而且我觉得这段的论证应该重点放在昏厥率上

Secondly, granted that the statistics are valid, however the mere fact that men are more likely to faint while visiting the dentist could not necessarily account for the assertion不要 that men are more easily to be distressed about having dental work done than women are, for the faint may be caused by other possible reasons. For an example, it is possible that comparing with women’s body condition, men’s is quite different and easier to faint.这个可能性不大，我觉得应该是女生更怕痛吧？你看牙医的时候不怕疼吗？这个跟生理原因有关吗？不过这个论证是合理的，^_^ Or perhaps female patients are too afeard afraid to visit dentist which lead to the result of more men faint这个跟你解释男人更容易昏的原因好像没什么关系吧？. Besides, it is highly possible that the faint is caused by some auxiliary medicine rather than distresses itself.恩，最后一种可能性驳斥的相当好！

Moreover, even if the assumption that men are more likely to faint because they are easily to distress is true, however去掉，因为你前面有even if, the method provided by the argument about how to make the advertisement effective and attractive seems rather unconvincing as I explains in two aspects. On the one hand, no evidence provided indicates that male patients are far more than female patients, which去掉, if not, then the evidence would lend little support to the argument; on the other hand, the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of staff are may be not the factors concerned by the patients. And also, great sensitivity does not fairly equal with less distresses patients will suffer 好！. Besides, the arguer fails to consider other possible issues that may prove be more important to patients, such as the skill of the dentist, the sanitary conditions, and the price and so on. Unless taking all the possibilities above into account, the argument about the advertisement will seems seem rather groundless. 这段论证的很好，我喜欢！

In sum, the argument is well-recounted, but not thoroughly well-reasoned这句话一般用于开头吧. To make it logically accepted, the arguer should first keep substantiate the statistics valid and then do further investigation and consideration about the target consumers去掉 and what they the patients mainly concern when choosing a dentist.

小别的这篇文章论证的很好，尤其在对advertisement的两个方面做了详细的分析，不过，我觉得你没有必要在sample 上花太多的时间的因为个人认为那不是这篇文章批驳的重点，还有想和你讨论一下关于more men faint所以men are more likely feel distressed我认为有个细节不知道你注意到没有，它说的是more men faint when they visiting the dentist, 但是能否说他们feel more distressed when having the dental work done呢？可能他们是在during the dental work的时候faint的呀？因此不能推出那个结论，你认为呢？waiting for your discussion!

kito9695UID：209685

①②两点感觉有点重复
嘿嘿，这个提纲里写了，文章写得时候觉得不妥把第二点去掉
你的开头挺新的，即没有summerize又高度概括，不错的尝试哟
偶大算开头就这样了，如果找不到更好的方法，就把这个搞成模版，你以后可能经常见啦，;P哈
What is the sample?这句去掉
恩恩，怎么冒出来这么一句？匪夷所思，想不明白了现在
可以不用if从句的，maybe it is too limited to support the author's conclusion
恩，言之有理，还是第一次遇到这样的错误呢，那if哪里用勒，具体区别是什么啊，仿佛感觉的出来，但是说不清楚
however去掉，这里没有转折关系，这句感觉有点冗长，直接说we might suspect whether the sample is representative of....
恩恩，这个句子是我直接照抄的，每多想，汗…
to more justify the argument
偶见过别人用…
什么数据？这里我觉得应该具体一点，比如患者的健康状况，年龄，医疗记录等等。
恩，同意！
感觉你不应该在sample上下太多功夫，你可以直接说the very sample is lack of representativ and randomness 就好了呀，我觉得真正考试的时候没有那么多时间让你具体论证的，而且我觉得这段的论证应该重点放在昏厥率上
我也觉得写多了…“我觉得这段的论证应该重点放在昏厥率上”举双手赞成！---嘿嘿，你真是论证高手阿
the assertion不要
恩恩
For an example, it is possible that comparing with women’s body condition, men’s is quite different and easier to faint.这个可能性不大
我也觉得挺牵强的，可是感觉这点特别不好论述，总不能只用一两句文字吧，所以就硬是凑了点儿
Or perhaps female patients are too afeard afraid to visit dentist which lead to the result of more men faint这个跟你解释男人更容易昏的原因好像没什么关系吧？
这个我想表达的意思是，因为女性害怕所以就不常去看牙医了，以致于男性患者远多于女性患者，相对的男性昏厥患者也就多了，可能没表达清楚
however去掉，因为你前面有even if,
which去掉
the sensitivity of staff may be not the factors concerned by the patients
that may prove to这里还有to吧be more important to patients
the argument about the advertisement will seem rather groundless
汗死了，这么多小错误要你帮我挑…
这句话一般用于开头吧
恩恩，范文里用于开头，我想在结尾开始的时候总结一句，就偷懒直接拿来用了
keep substantiate the statistics valid
这我不明白，为什么要用这个词阿
target consumers去掉
这个我想表达的是目标客户群，题目不是针对男性客户么
and what they the patients mainly concern when choosing a dentist.
这的the patients我想当同位语说明一下they了，可以吗？
我认为有个细节不知道你注意到没有，它说的是more men faint when they visiting the dentist, 但是能否说他们feel more distressed when having the dental work done呢？可能他们是在during the dental work的时候faint的呀？
恩，我不明白你的意思，when having demtal work和during the dental work不一样么？都表示在看牙医的时候昏的啊

感谢的话不多说啦哈，接着讨论阿:p

kito9695UID：209685

sigh,放眼望去满屏幕的错误啊，汗...革命尚未成功，壮士仍需努力！！~~啦啦

jingjingtousUID：2164820

不是，我想说的是more men faint during the operation题目是when visiting the dentist
而它推出的结论是men are more likely to be distress when having the dental work done
所以我觉得大多数男人可能是在手术中晕的（在手术时感觉痛楚），这样就可以反驳
作者所说的更多的男人在手术后比女人感到痛了，可能有些牵强。。。