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[未归类] Issue 41 不要客气阿 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-7-20 23:03:34 |显示全部楼层
Issue 41
"Such non-mainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
  Do non-mainstream areas of inquiry play a vital role in society, as the speaker claims? Admittedly, such non-stream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits satisfy human psychological needs that are not addressed by mainstream science, however, in my point of view the hazards of non-mainstream areas of inquiry that they may inflict on their participants and the society far outweigh their benefits.
  I concede that such non-mainstream areas of inquiry to some extent address the human needs, especially their psychological needs. Every day at every minute we have to make various choices on our real life stuffs, some ones are so negligible that we may make our decisions immediately, yet some choices are so crucial in our lives that we should carry some responsibility for their consequences. Faced with so many choices, we may fell frustrated, uncertain, insecurity and confused; after making our decisions we may feel regret, guilty, and remorse when our decisions turn out to be poor ones. Understandably, in order to prevent these unpleased results and bad feelings many people try to transfer the hard-to-make decisions to some supernatural authorities in the different ways of thinking by relaying on the stars or a stake of tarot cards for guidance.
  Another kind of psychological needs comes from our unawareness of our so-called “other side”. People are always curious about their “past life” and “after life”, such a feeling leads them to collect their “other side” though psychic and paranormal pursuits. People want to see what the relationship with their loved people in the “past life” and to search for a deeper life with them in the “after life” so as to lighten the sadness of departure when they die. It also can lighten the pain for death if people find that they can continue another new life after their death. This response manifests itself in people’s enduring imagine to search for extraterrestrial life though “past life” or “channeling” and the like.
  Beyond the benefits discussed above, the non-mainstream areas of inquiry bring great hazards to the participants and the society. There are two obviously destroying consequences resulting from these pursuits: In the first place, as the ill-conceived instructions of the particular inquiry are all far from reasonable, it is impossible to assess the credibility of a tarot card that tells us what to do next in the future for the simple reason that we cannot know what situation other paths that we have given up will lead us to. Similarly, we cannot evaluate claims about our afterlife simply because that these claims are inherently empirical proof or maybe disproof.
  Another hazard has to do with legitimacy of the avenues of the inquiry. As far as I concerted ,many participants who gain the guidance from the pursuits become vulnerable to self-deception, false imaginations, and even delusions. They swallow the so-called “insights” from the pursuits blindly and provide themselves convenient excuses for their unwarranted and unreasonable actions that harm others. For a supporting example, the self-burning event at the tian’an men square, whose participants are all apprentices of the “falun power” and their duties are to save all the living lives, sacrificed many young lives some of which are informed college students and brought a bad influence on our nation’s economics, politics and international reverence.
  To sum up, I concede that the non-mainstream pursuits the speaker lists are to some extent reasonable as they satisfy the participants’ psychological needs. However, such pursuits that are not rooted in reason and ill-conceived will lead to a risk for participants out of logic and reality to make false choices for themselves and unjust judgments towards others. Accordingly, in my view they are far more harmful than benefitial.

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发表于 2006-7-21 07:27:43 |显示全部楼层

2号改的

Do non-mainstream areas of inquiry play a vital role in society, as the speaker claims? Admittedly, such non-stream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits satisfy human psychological needs that are not addressed by mainstream science, however, in my point of view the hazards of non-mainstream areas of inquiry that they may inflict on their participants and the society far outweigh their benefits.
  
  I concede that such non-mainstream areas of inquiry to some extent address the human needs, especially their psychological needs. Every day at every minute we have to make various choices on our real life stuffs, some ones are so negligible that we may make our decisions immediately, yet some choices are so crucial in our lives that we should carry some responsibility for their consequences. Faced with so many choices, we may fell frustrated, uncertain, insecurity and confused; after making our decisions we may feel regret, guilty, and remorse when our decisions turn out to be poor ones. Understandably, in order to prevent these unpleased results and bad feelings many people try to transfer the hard-to-make decisions to some supernatural authorities in the different ways of thinking by relaying on the stars or a stake of tarot cards for guidance. [这段貌似是正面评价非主流,可是正面评价一件事物,最有力的就是举它能给我们带来好处的例子,如果用人们在不确定的情况下求助非主流来论证非主流的正面效应不是太理想,因为人们的这种行为并不一定给自己带来好处]
  
  Another kind of psychological needs comes from our unawareness of our so-called “other side”. People are always curious about their “past life” and “after life”, such a feeling leads them to collect their “other side” though psychic and paranormal pursuits. People want to see what the relationship is with their loved people in the “past life” and to search for a deeper life with them in the “after life” so as to lighten the sadness of departure when they die. It also can lighten the pain for death if people find that they can continue another new life after their death. This response manifests itself in people’s enduring imagine to search for extraterrestrial life though “past life” or “channeling” and the like.
  
  Beyond the benefits discussed above, the non-mainstream areas of inquiry bring great hazards to the participants and the society. There are two obviously destroying consequences resulting from these pursuits: In the first place, as the ill-conceived instructions of the particular inquiry are all far from reasonable, it is impossible to assess the credibility of a tarot card that tells us what to do next in the future for the simple reason that we cannot know what situation other paths that we have given up will lead us to. Similarly, we cannot evaluate claims about our afterlife simply because that these claims are inherently empirical proof or maybe disproof.
  
  Another hazard has to do with legitimacy of the avenues of the inquiry. As far as I concerted, many participants who gain the guidance from the pursuits become vulnerable to self-deception, false imaginations, and even delusions. They swallow the so-called “insights” from the pursuits blindly and provide themselves convenient excuses for their unwarranted and unreasonable actions that harm others. For a supporting example, the self-burning event at the tian’an men square, whose participants are all apprentices of the “falun power” and their duties are to save all the living lives, sacrificed many young lives some of which are informed college students and brought a bad influence on our nation’s economics, politics and international reverence. [不要举法轮功,国内外看法不同,另外,这两段讲的危害其实本质上相同,都是由于非主流的预测不准确造成的]
  
  To sum up, I concede that the non-mainstream pursuits the speaker lists are to some extent reasonable as they satisfy the participants’ psychological needs. However, such pursuits that are not rooted in reason and ill-conceived will lead to a risk for participants out of logic and reality to make false choices for themselves and unjust judgments towards others. Accordingly, in my view they are far more harmful than benefitial[beneficial]
[你的主观点是非主流大负小正,那么应该多花笔墨在分析它的弊端,你貌似分析它的好处的文字更多一些,这样不利于支持你的观点].

[ 本帖最后由 sly60321 于 2006-7-21 20:59 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-7-21 17:33:51 |显示全部楼层

五好的修改

Issue 41
"Such non-mainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
  Do non-mainstream areas of inquiry play a vital role in society, as the speaker claims? Admittedly, such non-stream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits satisfy human psychological needs that are not addressed by mainstream science, however, in my point of view the hazards of non-mainstream areas of inquiry that they may inflict on their participants and the society far outweigh their benefits.
  I concede that such non-mainstream areas of inquiry to some extent address the human needs, especially their psychological needs. Every day at every minute we have to make various choices on our real life stuffs, some ones are so negligible that we may make our decisions immediately, yet some choices are so crucial in our lives that we should carry some responsibility for their consequences. Faced with so many choices, we may fell frustrated, uncertain, insecurity(insecure) and confused; after making our decisions we may feel regret, guilty, and remorse when our decisions turn out to be poor ones. Understandably, in order to prevent these unpleased results and bad feelings many people try to transfer the hard-to-make decisions to some supernatural authorities in the different ways of thinking by relaying on the stars or a stake of tarot cards for guidance.(两端之间应空一行)
  Another kind of psychological needs(need) comes from our unawareness of our so-called “other side”. People are always curious about their “past life” and “after life”, such a feeling leads them to collect their “other side” though(through) psychic and paranormal pursuits. People want to see what the relationship with their loved people in the “past life”(is), and to search for a deeper life with them in the “after life” so as to lighten the sadness of departure when they die. It also can lighten the pain(fear) for death if people find that they can continue another new life after their death. This response manifests itself in people’s enduring imagine(imagination) to search for extraterrestrial life though “past life” or “channeling” and the like.
  Beyond the benefits discussed above, the non-mainstream areas of inquiry bring great hazards to the participants and the society. There are two obviously destroying consequences resulting from these pursuits: In the first place, as the ill-conceived instructions of the particular inquiry are all far from reasonable, it is impossible to assess the credibility of a tarot card that tells us what to do next in the future for the simple reason that we cannot know what situation other paths that we have given up will lead us to. Similarly, we cannot evaluate claims about our afterlife simply because that these claims are inherently empirical proof or maybe disproof.
  Another hazard has to do with legitimacy of the avenues of the inquiry. As far as I concerted (am concerned),many participants who gain the guidance from the pursuits become vulnerable to self-deception, false imaginations, and even delusions. They swallow the so-called “insights” from the pursuits blindly and provide themselves convenient excuses for their unwarranted and unreasonable actions that harm others. For a supporting example, the self-burning event at the tian’an men square, whose participants are all apprentices of the “falun power” and their duties are to save all the living lives, sacrificed many young lives some of which are informed college students and brought a bad influence on our nation’s economics, politics and international reverence.
  To sum up, I concede that the non-mainstream pursuits the speaker lists are to some extent reasonable as they satisfy the participants’ psychological needs. However, such pursuits that are not rooted in reason and ill-conceived will lead to a risk for participants out of logic and reality to make false choices for themselves and unjust judgments towards others. Accordingly, in my view

(感觉文章写得有些句子过于冗长,可以适当的删减一下,这样便于读者的理解,语言方面感觉造诣不浅,用了很多专有名词,但falun power 的例子还是不要举为好,因为老美不见得会认为它是邪教。文章总体上应该是偏向否定的观点,但感觉开头写的那些伪科学的作用过长了,有点本末倒置了。)
文章语言真得很专业,有很多我可以借鉴的地方,再次略表一下钦佩之情。再接再厉。

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发表于 2006-7-21 17:45:08 |显示全部楼层
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

发贴格式有问题,请根据上面的这个贴子修改,谢谢!

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发表于 2006-7-22 00:02:58 |显示全部楼层
语言全是由于开词霸的结果,而且先前背了点北美范文
而且花了很长的时间写
我不知道支撑的例子有什么诀窍可以通用之类的?想不出来啊。
谢谢队友帮我改作文!

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RE: Issue 41 不要客气阿 [修改]

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