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[i习作temp] issue221 12月高强组周一作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-11-20 12:10:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
ISSUE221 "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."

------------------------------
提纲:
1.首先,从人的本性来说,我们的需求渴望以及激情,乃至最基本的性格都通过时间的推移保留了下来。通过对历史的认知,这个社会可以有效处理各种问题,我们从中受益。
2.研究历史对理解和鉴赏不同时期的不同人同样有益。
3.要从历史中吸取经验教训,不是单纯的比较过去和现在人们之间的不同。只有从历史中我们才能清楚了解到一些大事件的来龙去脉。

WORDS:524       TIME:1:06:38     DATE:2006-11-20
People in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any time in history, as the statement contends? Although I agree that these differences should be exist between formerly period and present time in some details, primarily because this contention accords with common sense and everyday experience as human beings. In my view, to some extent that it is equally beneficial to understand and appreciate significant differences between peoples of different time periods.

Admittedly, we focuses basic human nature such as our desires and motives, as well as our broken-hearted and other basic characteristics has remained constant over recorded time. Though elapsing of time day by day or changing of space year by year, we can benefit as society in dealing more directly with our enduring social problems. It also focuses attention on the complex processes of social change, including the factors that are causing change around us today. To think highly of virtue both in the past and present time that history provides a terrain for moral contemplation. Studying the stories of individuals and situations in the past allows a student of history to test his or her own moral sense, to hone it against some of the real complexities individuals have faced in difficult setting. As human beings in modern time, even history represents one past period of time but we also cannot get rid of our seriously attention to the virtue of families and friendships or other relationships.

Secondly, study history equally benefit as ourselves in understand and analyze more effectively with individuals in daily life. History as literature and artistic expression serves a real purpose, on aesthetic grounds but also on the level of human understanding. Stories well done are stories that reveal how people and societies have actually functioned, and they prompt thoughts about the human experience in other times and places. The same aesthetic and humanistic goals inspire people to immerse themselves in efforts to reconstruct quite remotes pasts, far removed from immediate, present-day life. We can follow a rational line to handle environment of ourselves by studying history.

Finally, only seek into history can we learn how events come into being and history is dispensable to understanding why such changes occur, such as what world's structure actually was after World War I. In many ways historical analysis is a more challenging kind of exploration than genetic experimentation. "History teaching as by example” is one phrase that describes this use of a study of the past--a study not only of certifiable heroes, the great men and women of history who successfully world through moral dilemmas, but also of more ordinary people who provide lessons in courage, diligence, or constructive protest. That's why said people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.

Once we determine when the trend began, we can try to identify which of the factors present at the time combined to set the trend in motion. Only establish different period of time to define people are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history is lopsided.

弄出了第一的作业,觉得夹生的很啊~大家就使劲批吧!:)
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沙发
发表于 2006-11-20 13:07:19 |只看该作者
似乎时间上还要抓紧。

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板凳
发表于 2006-11-20 19:27:07 |只看该作者
ISSUE221 "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."

先来分析下题目:
本题认为学习历史的首要好处是可以打破不同时期的人完全不同这个假象.
这个假象怎么来的呢? ETS很变态地默认很多人都相信这个假象, 所以学习历史可以打破它. 因为我们如果不学习历史的话, 就会觉得过去的人生活方式跟我们这么不一样, 肯定没什么内在联系. 虽然不可能每个人都象ETS想得这么头脑简单吧, 我们姑且认为这是一个普遍存在并威胁巨大的ILLUSION. 然后学习历史以后我们就能深入分析不同时代的人的内心, 社会观念等等, 从而在不同时代的人之间建立联系, 于是打破了这个ILLUSION.

------------------------------
然后再来看楼主的提纲.
提纲:
1.首先,从人的本性来说,我们的需求渴望以及激情,乃至最基本的性格都通过时间的推移保留了下来。这句基本就把ISSUE的主要内涵给包括进去了通过对历史的认知,这个社会可以有效处理各种问题,我们从中受益。这个跟ISSUE关系不大, 可以认为是development
2.研究历史对理解和鉴赏不同时期的不同人同样有益。没搞清这句楼主想表达什么, 如果是说学习历史的好处的话,感觉跟第一条后半段差不多.
3.要从历史中吸取经验教训,不是单纯的比较过去和现在人们之间的不同。只有从历史中我们才能清楚了解到一些大事件的来龙去脉。感觉还是在development
看完提纲的感觉是楼主这篇文章会很不好写,如果按这个提纲来组织的话, 首先第一条不光单纯的分析了题目, 还加入了自己的development,接着下面两条都是在说这个development,只不过一个在题目的陈述之内(+),一个在之外(-). 问题是第二条比较不同时代不同人得出的结论又很象第一条的前半句, 于是整个提纲的感觉就是没有拉开层次, 把所有观点都混杂在一块.我稍微整理下思路, 看看楼主是不是这样的意思:
1, 研究历史可以让我们理解不同时期的人的不同人, 从而了解人的本性, 这样可以打破不同时期不同人是完全不同的这个假象, 令我们从中受益 +
2, 研究历史不仅仅是为了打破这个假象, 更重要的是了解一些大事的来龙去脉 (然后用于现实问题的分析?) -

People in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any time in history,句法错误, BE动词应该放到一般疑问句句首 as the statement contends the state contends this assertion is an illusion to be broken by history study, but not contends this? Although I agree that these differences should be 多余, 词法上也错误 exist between formerly former period periods and present time in some details, primarily because this contention accords with common sense and everyday experience as of human beings. In my view, to some extent that it is equally beneficial to understand and appreciate significant differences between peoples of different time periods.
第一的Topic Sentence(也就是全文的TS) 是最后一句? 最后这句话的意思应该是说不同时期的人之间的明显差异应该是被理解并认同吧(表达得不太得当)?
作为首段来说, 第一, 观点不够鲜明, 主要是没有很明确地提出自己的观点, 先在设问题目中的那个假象对不对, 然后说因为在某些细节上的确存在(看起来后面似乎是要否认这个观点的), 再然后说重大的不同应该被理解和认同(又承认这个观点了), 而且这段表达的内容跟楼主的提纲基本没什么关系.

Admittedly, we focuses basic human nature such as our desires and motives, as well as our broken-hearted sadness and other basic characteristics has remained constant constantly over recorded time. Though elapsing of time day by day or changing of space year by year with the time elapsing day by day, we can benefit as society in dealing more directly with our enduring social problems from dealing with enduring social problems more directly. It also focuses attention on the complex processes of social change, including the factors that are causing change around us today. To think highly of virtue both in the past and present time that history provides a terrain for moral contemplation. 没找到主语 Studying the stories of individuals and situations in the past allows a student of history to test his or her own moral sense, to hone it against some of the real complexities individuals have faced in difficult setting. As human beings in modern time, even history represents one past period of time but we also cannot get rid of our seriously attention to the virtue of families and friendships or other relationships. OTL, 这段实在太意识流了, 句法错误又太多, 我完全没看懂楼主想说什么

Secondly, study history equally benefit as ourselves in understand and analyze more effectively with individuals in daily life. History as literature and artistic expression serves a real purpose, on aesthetic grounds but also on the level of human understanding. Stories well done are stories that reveal how people and societies have actually functioned, and they prompt thoughts about the human experience in other times and places. The same aesthetic and humanistic goals inspire people to immerse themselves in efforts to reconstruct quite remotes pasts, far removed from immediate, present-day life. We can follow a rational line to handle environment of ourselves by studying history.

Finally, only seek into history can we learn how events come into being and history is dispensable to understanding why such changes occur, such as what world's structure actually was after World War I. In many ways historical analysis is a more challenging kind of exploration than genetic experimentation. "History teaching as by example” is one phrase that describes this use of a study of the past--a study not only of certifiable heroes, the great men and women of history who successfully world through moral dilemmas, but also of more ordinary people who provide lessons in courage, diligence, or constructive protest. That's why said people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history.

Once we determine when the trend began, we can try to identify which of the factors present at the time combined to set the trend in motion. Only establish different period of time to define people are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history is lopsided.

总结: 实在抱歉, 第二段看了以后就没信心在看下去了, 发现自己完全不能跟上楼主的思维. 文章中各句之间缺乏联系, 而且也没有中心的idea, 加上成分错误很多, 实在太难理解了...
发现楼主特别喜欢用长难句, 写到后面句子成分就乱了套, 经常出现history as human beings这种类似的错误, 然后又狂加连接词, 把几个主句揉在一起, 结果就是句子没什么表达力...
强烈要求楼主先多花些时间, 写完以后把文章看一遍, 看看自己能不能看得懂, 然后修改下, 少用长难句, 多用短句和同位句从句.

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RE: issue221 12月高强组周一作业 [修改]

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