issue221 高强周一作业

sunnie_518UID: 2136235

issue221 第一篇，请指教（12月作文高强组）

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 633       TIME: 1:40:00          DATE: 2006-11-20

  提纲：1 历史与现代社会密切相关，对历史的研究可以减少我们犯错的可能性。
        2 现代人和过去的人在价值观、生活方式上的确存在很大的差别
        3 我们面临很多前辈没有遇到过的问题，如网络安全等
        4 研究历史有助我们解决当前的问题。
Although it is universally acknowledged that the study of history can break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history, the importance of history also lies in the explaining and understanding change in human practices and thus in providing useful clues to deal with current situation.

Undeniably, there is close connection between history and modern society. The basic principles of human society such as longing for love and freedom, respect for democracy and morality have remained unchanged throughout the evolutionary process of human society. By providing precious experience of our precedents, history could help us diminish the possibility of making grave mistakes. Current generals, for example ,can avoid the error that committed by past army officers by carefully studying the lessons of the past war and thus manipulate a battle with more efficient and skilful manners.

Nevertheless, numerous changes and differences of people living in different times in terms of living styles, values and morals should also be understand and appreciated. Characterized with the features of rapid speed of technological development, modern life of human society have been dominated with technological products-televisions, telephones, internets. It is apparent that the way of communication between people that have experienced one of the most significant change. people have been accustomed to connect with their family members, friends and colleagues with e-mail, telephone which can allow they to establish contact with other millions times faster than conventional methods of writing letters. The convenience brought by high technology fundamentally improved the material and spiritual life of the entire human beings.

To be a two-edged weapon, technology also generates lots of new problems for modern people which had never been suffered by our ancestors. The dualism of technology can be best illustrated by the highly developed and widespread of internet which not only give people the chance to access enormous information useful to their jobs and study but also render them to the vulnerability of risks of internet crimes which can easily steal secrets about people's private life, job and exposed them to all strangers on the web. How aweful to imagine that all things about your privacies such as your wages, code of your cards, your address and telephone numbers have been revealed to anyone else that have the access to the web. All these issues mentioned above had never confronted by our ancestors.

However, history, as the valuable resources of wisdom of ancient sages, can serve as a primary tool for us to resolve current issue. When it comes to the issue of protecting environment and eliminating the caused pollutions, the old people's ideals-keeping the harmony with human and natural, is also the exact guiding map for their progenities to orientate their actions. Only bear this belief can contemporary people can face with the environmental and ecological problems with right

[ 本帖最后由 sunnie_518 于 2006-11-20 23:26 编辑 ]

cyfmltUID: 2180593

Although it is universally acknowledged that the study of history can break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history, the importance of history also lies in the explaining and understanding change in human practices and thus in providing useful clues to deal with current situation. 个人感觉不纯粹是因果关系，可以作为另一个作用
Undeniably, there is close connection between history and modern society. The basic principles of human society such as longing for love and freedom, respect for democracy and morality have remained remain没有完成时 unchanged throughout the evolutionary process of human society. By providing precious experience of our precedents不是先辈的意思, history could help us diminish the possibility of making grave mistakes. Current generals generations?, for example, can avoid the error that committed by past army officers by carefully studying the lessons of the past war and thus manipulate a battle with more efficient and skilful manners.学会打仗~~我还以为是不再打仗了呢;P
Nevertheless, numerous changes and differences of people living in different times in terms of living styles, values and morals should also be understand and appreciated. Characterized with the features of rapid speed of technological development, modern lives of human society have been dominated with technological products-televisions, telephones, internets internet. It is apparent that the way of communication between people that have experienced one of the most significant change 是修饰way的吗？. People have been accustomed to connect with their family members, friends and colleagues with e-mail, telephone which can allow they to establish contact with other millions times faster than conventional methods of writing letters. The convenience brought by high technology fundamentally improved the material and spiritual life of the entire human beings.对于例子的分析应该尽量往主题靠，不然更像是在分析科技的两面性
To be a two-edged weapon, technology also generates lots of new problems for modern people which had never been suffered by our ancestors. The dualism of technology can be best illustrated by the highly developed and widespread of internet which not only give people the chance to access enormous information useful to their jobs and study，but also render them to the vulnerability of risks 有点重复of internet crimes be vulnerable to the internet crime which can easily steal secrets about people's private life, job and exposed them to all strangers on the web. How awful to imagine that all things about your privacies such as your wages, code of your cards, your address and telephone numbers have been revealed to anyone else that have the access to the web.尽量避免YOU All these issues mentioned above had never confronted by our ancestors.
However, history, as the valuable resources of wisdom of ancient sages, can serve as a primary tool for us to resolve current issue. When it comes to the issue of protecting environment and eliminating the caused pollutions, the old people's ideals-keeping the harmony with human and natural（, ）is also the exact guiding map for their progenitors to orientate their actions. Only bear (?) this belief can contemporary people can face with the environmental and ecological problems with right这是最后一段吗？没有summary~



文章中长句很多，而且都还挺清晰的，可见sunnie对于句法的掌握还是有一手的，不过建议偶而还是插几句短句，比较有节奏感。
但是感觉文章的布局有些不足，层次不是很清晰。BODY1和4 好像联系更加紧密。而且1与话题较远，所以感觉1放在后面更好。
接着改ARGU

[ 本帖最后由 cyfmlt 于 2006-11-21 21:30 编辑 ]

sunnie_518UID: 2136235

谢谢宝贵意见，我会努力改进的