寄托天下
查看: 1142|回复: 1
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[a习作temp] Argument232 (12月作文高强组——好好学习,天天作文) [复制链接]

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
619
注册时间
2005-10-15
精华
0
帖子
1
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2006-11-20 23:02:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT232 - The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that manufactures tools and home appliances.

"Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song."
WORDS: 394          TIME: 0:51:18          DATE: 2006-11-20
1.survy不能证明结论。高中生能识别音乐,也许并不是音乐special,有可能是因会喜欢产品而记住音乐。
2.错误类比:家居和软饮料是不同产品,无法对比
3.没有提供sale下降的原因,因此即使采用歌曲有效也不能保证利润增加。


  The memo above asserts that the company can boost company profits by advertisements featuring a distinctive song. To support his conclusion, she/he cites a recent survey of high school students which showed that 85 percent could recognize the tunes used to advertise leading food company. However, even after a little inspection, we can find this proposal is severe logically fallacious.
  The threshold flaw of this argument is that the survey itself does not have any relation with the effect of advertisement with memorable tunes and song lyrics. We can not conclude whether the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants is memorable and distinctive. It is at least likely that the 85 percent of high school students can recognize these tunes because they love their products and hence become very familiar with their advertisements, no matter what forms the advertisements are.
  Moreover, false analogy is another logical mistake this argument has. We all know that the sales of drink and fast-food are different with that of home appliance and thus we can not apply the strategy in different company without consideration, even if it is effective. People need food and drink every day, yet we certainly would not buy home appliance everyday. Furthermore, the consumer of these two kinds of products is also different. The consumer of soft drink and fast-food are mainly young people, while that of the home appliances are largely composed of adults. Thus, even the methods that are effective in drink and food sales, it can not be applied to other sales.
  Lastly, the arguer states that the sales of their home appliance declined during the past years without providing the cause of this descend. Even if the switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song can make potential recognize their products immediately, the company profits can not surly boost. The sales declined may because the quality of their products declined, or there are some competitors 'products are cheaper and nicer. If the author can not exclude all these probability, she/he cannot draw the conclusion that the company profits would strengthen by advertising.
  In sum, this memo is inherently illogical and not convincing. The arguer fails to draw the right conclusion by the survey and proper analogy. Further, the author fails to see the other causes of the sales descend and thus make the company overlook other cause.

个人评述:结尾太单薄,语言也不丰富。
安静的守望
0 0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
379
注册时间
2005-9-7
精华
0
帖子
1
沙发
发表于 2006-11-21 22:10:18 |只看该作者
The memo above asserts that the company can boost company profits by advertisements featuring a distinctive song. To support his conclusion, she/he (the speaker) cites a recent survey of high school students which showed that 85 percent could recognize the tunes used to advertise leading food company. However, even after a little inspection, we can find this proposal is severe(多余) logically fallacious.  The threshold flaw of this argument is that the survey itself does not have any relation with the effect of advertisement with memorable tunes and song lyrics. We can not conclude whether the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants is memorable and distinctive. It is at least likely that the 85 percent of high school students can recognize these tunes because they love their products and hence become very familiar with their advertisements, no matter what forms the advertisements are.(没有点明survey的关键错误,我觉得主要是调查的科学性,而你写的只是其中的一点,应该先写大的矛盾)  Moreover, false analogy is another logical mistake this argument has. We all know that the sales of drink and fast-food are different with that of home appliance and thus we can not apply the strategy in different company without consideration, even if it is effective. People need food and drink every day, yet we certainly would not buy home appliance everyday.这点是理由,但是只是点了一下,没有具体说明为什么)Furthermore, the consumes of these two kinds of products is arealso different. The consumer of soft drink and fast-food are mainly young people, while that of the home appliances are largely composed of adults. Thus, even the methods that are effective in drink and food sales, itthey can not be applied to other sales.  Lastly, the arguer states that the sales of their home appliance declined during the past years without providing the cause of this descend. Even if the switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song can make potential recognize their products immediately, the company profits can not surly boost. The sales declined may because the quality of their products declined, or there are some competitors 'products are cheaper and nicer. If the author can not exclude all these probabilityprobabilities, she/he cannot draw the conclusion that the company profits would strengthen by advertising.  In sum, this memo is inherently illogical and not convincing. The arguer fails to draw the right conclusion by the survey and proper analogy. Further, the author fails to see the other causes of the sales descend and thus make the company overlook other cause.
逻辑错误找的很全咧,可能应为是我也只能想到这么多,只是有时候要先攻击主要错误。有的句子有点不顺,虽然看不出错。注意语法错误。结尾应该把改进的理由写的充分点,不过我自己写的也很少。

使用道具 举报

RE: Argument232 (12月作文高强组——好好学习,天天作文) [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
Argument232 (12月作文高强组——好好学习,天天作文)
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-556582-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部