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[a习作temp] Argument48 12月高强组周三作业 多指教哦~! [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-11-22 13:23:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Argument48
The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country of Corpora.

"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."

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提纲:
1.        虽然全国协会说健康水平下降是多用电脑造成的,但本城的健康水平高同时电脑拥有量也高,所以显然电脑不是不健康的原因。
2.        论断的前提是经济形式好了,人们在健康产品和服务上的开支就会上升,但这不一定成立。论者没有提供资料证明目前这方面的低开销主要是由于经济不景气造成,或是人们的钱多了就一定会增加这方面的开支。
3.        经济形式好了,人们在与健康有关的产品和服务上的开支增加了,人们健康水平就会提升。但没有证据证明这项开支与人的健康水平有必然联系,甚至没有证据证明这些产品和服务一定能提高人们的健康水平。

WORDS:  424                 TIME: 00:33:24              DATE: 2006-11-22
In the argument, the author concludes that fitness levels will improve when   resurgence in the economy. To support this conclusion the author cites the fact that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services. Close examination of this supporting evidence; however, show that the argument contains several factors that are questionable.

The problem of initial stage with the argument is that author suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason why made citizens less physically fit. Nevertheless, while fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are not that high. It actually indicates that computers are not the reason which cause citizens less physically fit. Moreover, the computer capacity high does not represent the use computer time to be long. Without giving files of Corpora citizens fitness levels right now, only said one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards twenty years ago, then, what is the situation of Corpora citizens while only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit.

Another fundamental point worth considering is that the article takes an untenable premise that is increasing of economy levels can bring high expenditures on fitness-related products and services. Since the author fails to enumerate these and other possible explanations for the low expenditures on fitness-related products and services are caused by the recent decline in the economy, perhaps people have high requirements on these fitness-related products and services or the grade of service is not good. So I cannot agree with any conclusions about fitness levels will improve when   resurgence in the economy.

Additionally, if the author can substantiate the assumptions above-mentioned, a final point involves a flaw that the author loses sight of the possible that there is no clear evidence prove the expenditures on fitness-related products and services have direct relationship with fitness levels. Furthermore, without more marketing data analysis about fitness-related products and services helps the people in the great degree to raise the health standard, it is difficult to assess the value of the article's recommendation.

In conclusion, the argument is logically flawed and the recommendation shows the basis of the doubtful assumption that renders it unconvincing as it stands. The author should provide direct evidence which shows how people view this expense and what caused the expenditure drop. To better evaluate the reliability of the survey upon which the author recommends, we would need more information about the size and makeup of the survey’s data.
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发表于 2006-11-22 23:24:26 |只看该作者
In the argument, the author concludes that fitness levels will improve when   resurgence in the economy. To support this conclusion the author cites the fact that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services. Close examination of this supporting evidence; however, show that the argument contains several factors that are questionable.

The problem of initial stage with the argument is that author suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason why made(made 去掉) citizens less physically fit. Nevertheless, while fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are not that high(好像是high的吧). It actually indicates that computers are not the reason which cause citizens less physically fit. (是同意作者的观点吗?)Moreover, the computer capacity high does not represent the use computer time to be long. Without giving files of Corpora citizens fitness levels right now, only said one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards twenty years ago, then, what is the situation of Corpora citizens while only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit.(这段我不是很理解,觉得有点矛盾开始好像是赞同作者观点的,电脑不时影响健康的因素)

Another fundamental point worth considering is that the article takes an untenable premise that is increasing of economy levels can bring high expenditures on fitness-related products and services. Since the author fails to enumerate these and other possible explanations for the low expenditures on fitness-related products and services are caused by the recent decline in the economy, perhaps people have high requirements on these fitness-related products and services or the grade of service is not good. So I cannot agree with any conclusions about fitness levels will improve when   resurgence in the economy.

Additionally, if the author can substantiate the assumptions above-mentioned, a final point involves a flaw that the author loses sight of the possible that there is no clear evidence prove the expenditures on fitness-related products and services have direct relationship with fitness levels. Furthermore, without more marketing data analysis about fitness-related products and services helps the people in the great degree to raise the health standard, it is difficult to assess the value of the article's recommendation.

In conclusion, the argument is logically flawed and the recommendation shows the basis of the doubtful assumption that renders it unconvincing as it stands. The author should provide direct evidence which shows how people view this expense and what caused the expenditure drop. To better evaluate the reliability of the survey upon which the author recommends, we would need more information about the size and makeup of the survey’s data.
LZ这篇写的挺好大,只是第1段稍稍有点问题,而且用词也很不错:D

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RE: Argument48 12月高强组周三作业 多指教哦~! [修改]

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