argument2 十二月高强组周一作业(第二周)

sunnie_518UID: 2136235

Argument2
The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting."

WORDS: 474           TIME:   00:45:00               DATE:2006-11-27

提纲：1 b地区values的 上升不一定是由对外观的限制引起的
           2 对b地区适用不一定对d适用
           3 忽略价格过高的坏处
In this argument, the speaker recommends that in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, Deerhaven Acres should set restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. To support his recommendations, the speaker points out that homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted the same restrictions and since then the average property values have tripled in Brookville. This argument is unconvincing for several reasons.

First of all, the speaker makes an unreliable assumption that the adopting of restrictions regarding the landscaping of yards and the painting of the exteriors of homes has resulted in the tripling of the property values in Brookville. However, it is entirely possible that other factors are responsible for the raising of value since many things could happen during seven years. Perhaps, because of sudden fluxing of immigrants, the demand of houses has increased and exceeded the supply greatly during this period. Or perhaps, the economy which had been in the depression for a long time has gained its recovery in these seven years. Either scenario would serve as an alternative illustration for the increase of the property values. Therefore, without ruling out other factors, the speaker can not convince us that the tripling of the property values in Brookville is attributable to the using of restrictions.

Secondly, the speaker commits a false analogy. Granted the implementation of the restrictions can account for the Brookville's increasing property values, the assumption that such restrictions will also increases the property value in Deerhaven Acres is still in lack of solid ground. Virtually, there are many possible differences between these two cities which might bring out different results for Deerhaven. Perhaps, the buyers in Deerhaven are inclined to different exterior appearance and feel the uniform exterior appearance unbearable. Or perhaps, they do not pay attention to the appearance of house but more emphasize the location or function of a house. Without considering the differences and similarities between these two cities, the speaker make a presumptuous assumption that the measures causing the rise of values in Brookville would take the similar effect in the property values in Deerhaven Acres.

Finally, the speaker fails to consider the disastrous results would bring out by high values. The property values of the region will be highly probable to raise the price of the houses. As result of that, the residents here may find that the prices are too high to bear, which would inevitably cause the resentment of people and affect the steady of the society.

In sum, to strengthen his conclusions, the speaker should supply strong evidence that the increase of the property values in Brookville due to the implementation of the restrictions but not other factors. Meanwhile, the speaker should also provide substantiation that the prices in two regions are affected by similar factor. Furthermore, he also should consider the negative results would caused by high housing prices.

感觉这篇文章的逻辑错误自己找的不太全。

patzUID: 2115125

In this argument, the speaker recommends that in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, Deerhaven Acres should set restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. To support his recommendations, the speaker points out that homeowners in nearby Brookville community adoptedthe same restrictions and since then the average property values have tripled in Brookville. This argument is unconvincing for several reasons. (观点句是不是让步一下比较好。这么写有点生硬)

First of all, the speaker makes an unreliable assumption that the adopting (adoption) of restrictions regarding the landscaping of yards and the painting of the exteriors of homes has resulted in the tripling of the property values in Brookville. However, it is entirely possible that other factors are responsible for the raising of value since many things could happen during seven years. Perhaps, (句首两个副词连用不太正式) because of sudden fluxing (flooding?) of immigrants, the demand of houses has increased and exceeded the supply greatly during this period. Or perhaps, (还是感觉不太正式的说法，可以用either。。。or 替换)the economy which had been in the depression for a long time has gained its recovery in these seven years. (这句时态不统一) Either scenario would serve as an alternative illustration for the increase of the property values. Therefore, without ruling out other factors, the speaker can not convince us that the tripling of the property values in Brookville is attributable to the using (use) of restrictions.

Secondly, the speaker commits a false analogy. (个人感觉ts最好写的闪光一点，这句可以做后面一句的从句) Granted the implementation of the restrictions can account for the Brookville's increasing property values, the assumption that such restrictions will also increases the property value in Deerhaven Acres is still in lack of solid ground. Virtually, there are many possible differences between these two cities which might bring out different results for Deerhaven. Perhaps, the buyers in Deerhaven are inclined to different exterior appearance and feel the uniform exterior appearance unbearable. Or perhaps, (抛去是否正式不提，这个用了两次有点重复…)they do not pay attention to the appearance of house but more emphasize the location or function of a house. Without considering the differences and similarities between these two cities, the speaker make a presumptuous assumption that the measures causing the rise of values in Brookville would take the similar effect in the property values in Deerhaven Acres.

Finally, the speaker fails to consider the disastrous results would bring out (be brought out) by high values. The property values of the region will be highly probable to raise the price of the houses. As result of that, the residents here may find that the prices are too high to bear, which would inevitably cause the resentment of people and affect the steady of the society. (居住者会抱怨房价高？？还会影响社会局势？？好像人家老美没咱们国家这么明显)

In sum, to strengthen his conclusions, the speaker should supply strong evidence that the increase of the property values in Brookville due to the implementation of the restrictions but not other factors. Meanwhile, the speaker should also provide substantiation that the prices in two regions are affected（这个词带贬抑，慎用） by similar factor. Furthermore, he also should consider the negative results would caused by high housing prices.

文章结构上不错，论据的逻辑性可以再加强一些。另外TS的功用。
挺不错的。继续加油啊！

sunnie_518UID: 2136235

谢谢patz的宝贵意见哈