ISSUE130 美国有米第十次作业 欢迎狠批

cckantUID: 2247822

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 479          TIME: 0:44:42          DATE: 2007-1-19

To some extent, it is justifiable to claim that the way children are socialized today determines the destiny of society, on the ground that children are the participators in the future society, which characterized by its interactions between individuals. However, I hold that we are not yet to learn how to raise children who can help bring a better society.

Sketch:
1.       尽管儿童的社交生活很简单，但意义重大
2.       不应当认为人们尚未掌握一个好的方法引领儿童构造一个更好的社会

To begin with, one should that the simplicity in the socialization of children does not undermine its significance. It is true that socializing among children is far less complicated than that among adult, which frequently confuse people as multilateral interests involved, various principled and less principled people, and abundant kinds of interests chased for. However, though socializing among children, which largely involve playing games and sharing food and toys, seems too simple meaning to a adult realm, it, in a dominant extent, determines the base line of socialization when a child become grown up. Analogous to most social science models and some of biological ones, in which over-simplicity of assumptions are necessary for a model being potent to explain a real world, the socializing experience in childhood serves to set a backbone and base line in simplest situations, upon which action and reaction in more complicated situations are made in a child's later lives. For example, the fundamental aptitude of how to deal with problem when there is an interest conflict with others is likely to be shaped when a child is socialized.

However, it is not quite true that we still have not master the art to raise children who can help bring about a better society. First of all, is there an optimal way of raising children for a more bright and shiny society in future? I really doubt so. Human society has been changing, so is the way how children have been raised. And we do not know whether the ways of past, present and future are the best ways. However, despite that many latest generations were predicted to be grooming generations by the generations of their parents and grandparents, these generations verified themselves to be as good as their previous ones, and even better. The economics and technological progress in the decades may substantiate that. Therefore, there is no reason to doubt that people in the modern era is still searching a way in dark to promote better society through raising better kids, because, in my opinion, the underlying force for human society to develop is the will that we desire a improving life, which is unavoidable to pass such will to children from their growing environment.

In sum, it is good to notice that the how children are socialized today are critical to the destiny of society. However, it is too passive to claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

aefiterUID: 2134740

马上补上修改

aefiterUID: 2134740

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 479          TIME: 0:44:42          DATE: 2007-1-19

To some extent, it is justifiable to claim that the way children are socialized today determines the destiny of society , on the ground that children are the participators in the future society, which is characterized by its interactions between with other individuals. However, I hold that we are not yet to learn how to raise children who can help bring a better society. 最后一句not yet to learn，不太恰当，我们知道，但不是不需要

Sketch:
1.       尽管儿童的社交生活很简单，但意义重大
2.       不应当认为人们尚未掌握一个好的方法引领儿童构造一个更好的社会

To begin with, one should that the simplicity in the socialization of children does not undermine its significance. It is true that socializing socialization among of children is far less complicated than that among of adults, which frequently confuse people as multilateral interests involved, various principled and less principled people, and abundant kinds of interests chased for.句子有问题，principle不作动词，as 之后就不理解了


However, though however, 不要和though连用，however可去 socializing among children, which largely involve playing games and sharing food and toys, seems too simple meaning to a adult realm, it, in a dominant extent, determines the base line of socialization when a child become a grown -up.

断句多了，我们的语感不强，就少用插入语

Analogous to most social science models and some of biological ones, in which over-simplicity 贬义词，simplification of assumptions问题的简化，不是假设的简化 are necessary for a model being potent to explain a real world, the socializing experience in childhood serves to set a the backbone and base line baseline 不太恰当 basis in simplest situations, upon which action and reaction in more complicated situations are made in a child's later lives life. For example, the fundamental aptitude of how to deal with problem when there is an interest conflict with others is likely to be shaped when a child is socialized.

这一段抽象，但是语言问题，和字数的限制让内容变得难理解，直接承认意义重大，还要作让步么。

However, it is not quite true that we still have not master the art method to raise children who can help bring about a better society. First of all, is there an optimal way of raising children for a more bright and shiny society in future? I really doubt so. Human society has been changing, so is the way how children have been raised. And we do not know whether the ways of past, present and future are the best ways. However, despite that many latest generations were predicted to be grooming generations by the generations of their parents and grandparents, these generations verified themselves to be as good as their previous ones, and even better. The economics and technological progress in the decades may substantiate that. Therefore, there is no reason to doubt （doubt就是怀疑，意思反了）that people in the modern era is still searching a way in dark to promote better society through raising better kids, because, in my opinion, the underlying force for human society to develop is the will that we desire an improving life, which is unavoidable to pass such will to children from their growing environment.

例子没有展开，无法看出例子如何支持论点，

In sum, it is good to notice that the how children are socialized today are critical to the destiny of society. However, it is too passive to claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.


总结；作者的思想让人感觉很深刻，就是不知道如何表达。
加油


[ 本帖最后由 aefiter 于 2007-1-20 14:50 编辑 ]

laner023UID: 2223653

Sketch:
1.       尽管儿童的社交生活很简单，但意义重大
2.       不应当认为人们尚未掌握一个好的方法引领儿童构造一个更好的社会

To some extent, it is justifiable to claim that the way children are socialized today determines the destiny of society, on the ground that children are the participators in the future society, which (这里which指代的是什么？) (is) characterized by its interactions between individuals. However, I hold that we are not yet to learn how to raise children who can help bring a better society.

To begin with, one should (admit?) that the simplicity in the socialization of children does not undermine its significance. It is true that socializing among children (socialization of children) is far less complicated than that among (of) adult, which frequently confuse people as multilateral interests involved, various principled and less principled people, and abundant kinds of interests chased for.(没读懂) However, though (和中文不同，英语中虽然和但是不能连用)socializing among children (socialization of children), which largely involve playing games and sharing food and toys, seems too simple meaning to a adult realm, it, in a dominant extent, determines the base line of socialization when a child become grown up（grown up）. Analogous to most social science models and some of biological ones, in which over-simplicity of assumptions are necessary for a model being potent to explain a real world, the socializing experience in childhood serves to set a backbone and base line in simplest situations, upon which action and reaction in more complicated situations are made in a child's later lives. For example, the fundamental aptitude of how to deal with problem when there is an interest conflict（s） with others is likely to be shaped when a child is socialized.
说实话，如果没有提纲，我读不懂你这段的意思。

However, it is not quite true that we still have not master the art to raise children who can help bring about a better society. First of all, is there an optimal way of raising children for a more bright and shiny society in future? I really doubt so. Human society has been changing, so is the way how children have been raised. And we do not know whether the ways of past, present and future are the best ways. However, despite that many latest generations were predicted to be grooming generations （？？） by the generations of their parents and grandparents, these generations verified themselves to be as good as their previous ones, and even better. The economics and technological progress in the decades may substantiate that. Therefore, there is no reason to doubt that people in the modern era is still searching a way in dark to promote better society through raising better kids, because, in my opinion, the underlying force for human society to develop is the will that we desire a（an） improving（improved） life, which is unavoidable to pass such will to children from their growing environment.
这段的意思怎么和你的开头不符呢。开头说我们还不知道如何培养孩子，而这段说的正好相反啊。

In sum, it is good to notice that the how children are socialized today are critical to the destiny of society. However, it is too passive to claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

[ 本帖最后由 laner023 于 2007-1-20 21:34 编辑 ]

cckantUID: 2247822

似乎表达能力还不够。

倒数第二段，我是双重否定说不是没有找到好的方法啊。接着设问有没有最优办法。然后说应该没有。

第一段which指 society，不知道有没有错？