issue121 环保类！ 一起来保护动物，欢迎拍砖！给链接，回拍！

mamak6322UID：189139

121. At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a
great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.
在过去不同的地质时期，许多的物种因为自然作用而非人类行为而灭绝。因此，人类社会为了挽救濒危物种而付出的巨大努力，尤其是以大量的资金和工作机会为代价，这样做是毫无道理的。

提纲，要尽可能的保护动物
1，减少猎杀
2，更好照顾
3，为了人类自身

Human beings and animals, both creatures in this green planet, are sharing the same sky, breathing the same air, drinking the same water. However, as the humans' civilization development goes on, more and more species are suffering their lives in an extraordinary speed of extinction due to both direct and indirect humans activities. As far as I am concerned, it is never too late for us to take pains to rescue our animal neighbors, for the sake of self-redemption.

In the first place, illegal huntings, which directly threat the lives of those endangered species, should be forbidden at once. For example, chirus, a kind of animal that primarily live in Tibet tableland, are used to live a simple life by their own without any interruption by our human-beings. Yet, they are now suffering at the edge of extinction because of the cruel hunting. Those criminals shoot the chirus for their furs, an expensive material for making cloth. For such a "beautiful cloth", at least ten chirus need to sacrifice for our greedy demand. In fact, wearing such a kind of cloth is more like wearing a piece of bleeding fur.

In the second place, for our humans' civilization development, animals have give up their living places. To some extent, we should help these homeless animals for expiation. Recently, a lion escaped from a zoo in Wuhan, a big city in middle China. Citizens felt scared at hearing the news. In fact, it is the lion itself that feared the most because in such a concrete forest, it was surrounded by people. For ensuring the safety of the public, the pathetic lion was killed at last by a sniper. Another innocent creature devotes its life for our humans. We have to develop our world, which no one would deny. At the same time, shouldn't we do something more to ensure the life and living condition for these poor animals? At least, they have sacrificed so much for us.

Last but not least, some people may argue that no matter how hard we have tried, some of the animals still cannot be rescued as the result of nature. Admittedly, at various times in the past, millions of animals went extinct for many reasons other than human activity. However, a recent survey issued by CSIS (China Species Information Service) in Beijing, suggests that with the impact of human activity, the speed of extinction is accelerating sharply by nearly forty times compared with the ancient time, and the overall amount of animals is shrinking rapidly at a rate of 19.6% yearly. If we fail to take sufficient positive actions to slow down the speed, it entirely possible our offspring can only see the tiger in the museum, a static sample.

In sum, we humans always sing that animals are our friends. Indeed, animals are now suffering a great danger of living caused by their so-called friends' direct and indirect activities. Maybe some day in the future, the only animal that we can put into zoo is ourselves. To save animals is to save ourselves.

[ Last edited by mamak6322 on 2005-7-25 at 23:58 ]

jamesprcUID：2119791

发多了

[ Last edited by jamesprc on 2005-7-26 at 23:24 ]

jamesprcUID：2119791

发多了

[ Last edited by jamesprc on 2005-7-26 at 23:25 ]

jamesprcUID：2119791

issue121 环保类！ 一起来保护动物，欢迎拍砖！给链接，回拍！

121. At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a
great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.
在过去不同的地质时期，许多的物种因为自然作用而非人类行为而灭绝。因此，人类社会为了挽救濒危物种而付出的巨大努力，尤其是以大量的资金和工作机会为代价，这样做是毫无道理的。

提纲，要尽可能的保护动物
1，减少猎杀
2，更好照顾
3，为了人类自身

Human beings and animals, both creatures in this green planet, are sharing the same sky, breathing the same air, drinking the same water.语言不地道反而别扭 However, as the humans' civilization development goes on, more and more species are suffering their lives in an extraordinary speed of extinction due to both direct and indirect humans去掉s activities. As far as I am concerned, it is never too late for us to take pains to rescue our animal neighbors, for the sake of self-redemption.你的论点不是为了赎罪吧?

In the first place, illegal huntings, which directly threat the lives of those endangered species, should be forbidden at once. For example, chirus, a kind of animal that primarily live in Tibet tableland, are used to live a simple life by their own without any interruption by our human-beings. Yet, they are now suffering at the edge of extinction because of the cruel hunting. Those criminals shoot the chirus for their furs, an expensive material for making cloth. For such a "beautiful cloth", at least ten chirus need to sacrifice for our greedy demand. In fact, wearing such a kind of cloth is more like wearing a piece of bleeding fur.单讲hunting没必要吧,我觉得应指出人类活动是造成灭绝危机的主要因素,然后打猎,污染,生活空间问题稍涉及一下,或作为例子.这样二三段合成一段

In the second place, for our humans' civilization development, animals have give up their living places. To some extent, we should help these homeless animals for expiation. Recently, a lion escaped from a zoo in Wuhan, a big city in middle China. Citizens felt scared at hearing the news. In fact, it is the lion itself that feared the most because in such a concrete forest, it was surrounded by people. For ensuring the safety of the public, the pathetic lion was killed at last by a sniper. Another innocent creature devotes its life for our humans.[要以情动人？要说理啊] We have to develop our world, which no one would deny. At the same time, shouldn't we do something more to ensure the life and living condition for these poor animals? At least, they have sacrificed so much for us.语言太罗索,而且论证不力,只呼吁要保护动物,但没指明原因.例子太长也不支持论点

Last but not least, some people may argue that no matter how hard we have tried, some of the animals still cannot be rescued as the result of nature. Admittedly, at various times in the past, millions of animals went extinct for many reasons other than human activity. However, a recent survey issued by CSIS (China Species Information Service) in Beijing, suggests that with the impact of human activity, the speed of extinction is accelerating sharply by nearly forty times compared with the ancient time, and the overall amount of animals is shrinking rapidly at a rate of 19.6% yearly. If we fail to take sufficient positive actions to slow down the speed, it entirely possible our offspring can only see the tiger in the museum, a static sample.这点批地对,在例子后再强调一下是人的行为大大加快了动物灭绝,反驳一下那些人的说法

In sum, we humans always sing that animals are our friends. Indeed, animals are now suffering a great danger of living caused by their so-called friends' direct and indirect activities. Maybe some day in the future, the only animal that we can put into zoo is ourselves. To save animals is to save ourselves.
写成绝对的观点不是不可以,但这篇issue后一句Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.其中的extraordinary efforts,a great cost in money and jobs暗示着平衡观点更合适,也更能向阅卷人展示你的思维能力.建议用平衡论点,花一段将不能不计代价来保护动物.语法错误不少，用词，语言不太地道，多注意积累吧

帮我看看,谢了https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ;highlight=issue121

mamak6322UID：189139

谢谢 jamesprc ~~
看来这篇不合格 按你的建议重改写 ：）