Issue47 寄托4人组 9-01

bridgewalkerUID：208595

TOPIC：ISSUE 47 - "Society does not place enough emphasis on the intellect-that is, on reasoning and other cognitive skills."
WORDS：480          TIME：AM 12:45:00          DATE：1/9/2005

Has society placed not enough emphasis on reasoning and other cognitive skills? The speaker obviously believes so. In my observation, the stress placed upon intellect is not insufficient but too much. Instead, proper attention should be paid to its counterpart: emotion.

Admittedly, intellectual capabilities such as reasoning, analyzing and synthesizing are indispensable to handle our daily lives. In any endeavor, including politics, economy and academia, we confront tons of information every day, and have to find most valuable ones to make quick decisions correctly, or else the opportunity to success would be lost instantly. In order to evaluate, judge, distinguish information and make wise judgments, critical thinking abilities which mainly offered by intellect are desirable. In this sense, emphasizing on the intellect is understandable.

However, although the intellectual capability is important, yet in my observation, it is not properly considered but over-emphasized in my country. In China, pupils are forced to receive academic training from their childhood by studying subjects like mathematics, physics, chemistry, etc., for the sake of improving their level of intellectual quotient (IQ). In order to demonstrate their performance in critical thinking, which is highly regarded among employers, they have to allocate large part of their spare time to homework and get scores as high as possible in every examination. When they graduate, high GPA is needed to convince employers. If it was not appealing, these graduates might have to get other certificates to illustrate their intellectual ability. In some extreme cases, some companies even require applicants taking IQ tests during interviews. Knowing situation of both the formal education system and the job market in China, it would be quite reasonable to conclude that this society really put too much emphasis on intellectual capability.

Moreover, it is the over emphasis upon intellectual ability that results in the unfortunate ignorance of emotional quotient (EQ). EQ is not automatically improved in the process of IQ training. Without careful attention to emotional education by serious cultivation in art, music, ethics and so forth, some students with high performance in critical thinking would have no idea of how to control and utilize their emotions such as love, compassion, hatred, etc. Due to the unfair neglect, suicide, depression, frustration and other psychological displacements are generated. According to recent governmental statistics, the average number of college students committing suicide in China amounts to 500 every year. In addition, more and more students on campus turn to mental doctors for help. Although all these miseries could not to be attributed to the failure of emotional education, if the society pay more attention to it and let students have equal access to emotional training opportunities as the intellectual education does, most of these miseries are likely to be avoided.

In conclusion, from my own observation in the society I live, too much emphasis has been put upon intellectual capabilities. In order to offer our students much healthier education, more attention should be paid to emotional training.

限时失败！感觉写得很不好！这个题很变态！

[ Last edited by bridgewalker on 2005-9-1 at 20:00 ]

tangjihedeUID：2107695

zhan!

win-szUID：2113066

感觉条理清晰，论证有力哦。除了一些小的语法错误：
not (enough emphasis)，应该是   no;
(critical thinking abilities) which (mainly offered)少了are,或者删除which
get have scores(in every examination) have是不是错了？ 从上下意思看，应该是high?
(it is the over emphasis upon intellectual ability that) result (in) 应是单数results
(if the society) pay (more attention to it and) let (students)同上

你准备作文好的经验可否共享？

bridgewalkerUID：208595

Originally posted by win-sz at 2005-9-1 20:23
感觉条理清晰，论证有力哦。除了一些小的语法错误：
not (enough emphasis)，应该是   no;
(critical thinking abilities) which (mainly offered)少了are,或者删除which
get have scores(in every examina ...

嗯！感谢！

我的水平很烂，经验真的谈不上。

不过有一点是真的，尤其是Issue：

你就按照能说服自己的逻辑写吧！写上2、30篇你就有感觉啦！

tangjihedeUID：2107695

ISSUE 47 - "Society does not place enough emphasis on the intellect-that is, on reasoning and other cognitive skills."
WORDS：480          TIME：AM 12:45:00          DATE：1/9/2005

Has society placed not enough emphasis on reasoning and other cognitive skills? The speaker obviously believes so. In my observation, the stress placed upon intellect is not insufficient but too much. Instead, proper attention should be paid to its counterpart: emotion.

Admittedly, intellectual capabilities such as reasoning, analyzing and synthesizing are indispensable to handle our daily lives. In any endeavor[?? 可以这么说么？], including politics, economy and academia, we confront tons of information every day, and have to find most valuable ones to make quick decisions correctly, or else the opportunity to success would be lost instantly.[很眼熟啊。。。可是当时我对这个论证就不满意，是不是还可以用without结构说，没有很好的智力教育，那么人类在科学方面的探索，在经济领域中的博弈，以及在政治方面的对事物的判断和决策，就都是很难进步的？理智的作用太常识了，反而不好说出来。] In order to evaluate, judge, distinguish information and make wise judgments, critical thinking abilities which mainly offered by intellect are desirable. In this sense, emphasizing on the intellect is understandable.

However, although the intellectual capability is important, yet in my observation, it is not properly considered but over-emphasized in my country. In China, pupils are forced [required 吧]to receive academic training from their childhood by studying subjects like mathematics, physics, chemistry, etc.,[which被认为对提高intellect很有效] for the sake of improving their level of intellectual quotient (IQ). In order to demonstrate their performance in critical thinking, which is highly regarded among employers, they have to allocate large part of their spare time to homework and get scores as high as possible in every examination. When they graduate, high GPA is needed to convince employers. If it was not appealing, these graduates might have to get other certificates to illustrate their intellectual ability. In some extreme cases, some companies even require applicants taking IQ tests during interviews.[举例说中国的公务员考试里包括了很多iq题好了。] Knowing situation of both the formal education system and the job market in China, it would be quite reasonable to conclude that this society really put too much emphasis on intellectual capability.

Moreover, it is the over emphasis upon intellectual ability that[感觉强调句不如直接用“对intellect的过分强调”做主语更好。这样对上文的承接更紧密一些。这里用强调句就把主题引向是什么导致了对EQ的忽视，和本文的主题并不很一致 ] results in the unfortunate ignorance of emotional quotient (EQ). EQ is not automatically improved in the process of IQ training. Without careful attention to emotional education by serious cultivation in art, music, ethics and so forth, some students with high performance in critical thinking would have no idea of how to control and utilize their emotions such as love, compassion, hatred, etc. Due to the unfair neglect, suicide, depression, frustration and other psychological displacements are generated. According to recent governmental statistics, the average number of college students committing suicide in China amounts to 500 every year.[列完了没有分析，哪怕加一句这已经在高校中引起很大的振动。] In addition, more and more students on campus turn to mental doctors[psychologists? 可以说据记者采访很多学生表示有很多心理问题，但他们不知道向谁倾诉。。。等等。] for help. Although all these miseries could not to be attributed to the failure of emotional education,[这么说把自己的语气降低了；可以说the failure of EE 是主要原因之一，如果。。。] if the society pay more attention to it and let students have equal access to emotional training opportunities as the intellectual education does, most of these miseries are likely to be avoided.[这段太短了，和本段内容的重要性不成比例。你可以先分析一些EQ在现代社会中的作用，比如IQ再高，但不知道怎么和人交往也没用。然后再反观学校教育，对这方面的重视一直不够，已经造成了很多问题：一方面在校内很多人自杀；另一方面出了校门，也很难融入社会，比如一些单位已经开始注意到了这个问题，打出牌子说北大清华的毕业生不要。。。]

In conclusion, from my own observation in the society[最好在开头点出是中国。] I live, too much emphasis has been put upon intellectual capabilities. In order to offer our students much healthier [more balanced; or well-rounded]education, more attention should be paid to emotional training.

限时失败！感觉写得很不好！这个题很变态！[确实变态！同感.B1可以压缩，但B3一定要扩。加油！]

bridgewalkerUID：208595

呵呵！偶主要借鉴了XXX人的！;P

In any endeavor[?? 可以这么说么？]

应该是 in any field of endeavor.

[很眼熟啊。。。可是当时我对这个论证就不满意，是不是还可以用without结构说，没有很好的智力教育，那么人类在科学方面的探索，在经济领域中的博弈，以及在政治方面的对事物的判断和决策，就都是很难进步的？理智的作用太常识了，反而不好说出来。]

汤剂就是汤剂啊！不赞不行！

一方面在校内很多人自杀；另一方面出了校门，也很难融入社会。

很好的思路！

感激ing！

[ Last edited by bridgewalker on 2005-9-1 at 21:16 ]

tangjihedeUID：2107695

Originally posted by bridgewalker at 2005-9-1 21:13


很好的思路！

感激ing！

只要你站在我这边一起对抗小马甲就行了:lol

哥哥家有二师兄UID：2124390

B1这样也不算多了..

你们跟马甲发生了啥冲突?就是请喝==和==的区别么:p