issue7 自己认真改过+提纲

xinxingUID: 2112959

------题目------issue 7
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records. （603字）
------正文------
自己仔细改过一遍，刚学写作不久，有谁能帮忙看看么，多谢了。
提纲:
1.数码记录可以的好处
   a.由于其精确性，可以作为法律证据（编了个例子，呵呵）
   b.老人可以重温幸福的过去生活
2.文字记录的一些优点 （例子是游客和工程师）
3.把数码记录和文字结合起来，效果更具有戏剧性（可以对事物了解得更清楚）

After careful and objective analysis on this issue whether video camera is more important than written records or not, I would like to present a position a little contradicting with the author's. Indubitably, video camera can vividly descript the appearance of a person or some grandiose buildings. However, there are something that video that can not depict, such human's emotion, the process of historical events, etc, and under such circumstances, written record is indispensable.



In the first place, the chief reason that I present to support my viewpoint is that video camera has some advantages which written records lack. On the one thing, video camera can provide record which is more accurate and convincing than written records. Since written records always assorated (consorted) with emotion of the author, the records sometimes become subjective and distorted; while video camera can provide accurate and convincing record of the contemporary life. It is the reason why some video camera records can be taken as legal evidence. On March 22, 2004, a group of robbers rushed into the China Bank and robed about 2000,000 yuan. The robbers killed the witnesses who had seen the process. But after three days, they were caught since their visages were photoed by a man who lived in a building near the bank. Seeing the photos, he robbers had nothing to rebut but to acknowledge their crime in the courtroom. On the other hand, video can keep some delectable senses which can help to recall some nice memory. Think of this, when you get old, seeing some old photos can recall your blissful childhood, grand wedding party and happily life of your happily. What a nice thing it is! Only video camera can vividly describe such pictures, which written records cannot provide.


In addition, the second reason that I fundamentally assert my standpoint is that under certain circumstances, written records are indispensible. (indispensable) Although video camera can racily depict some pictures, there are some abstract things that video camera cannot descript, such as emotion, the process of historical events and famous people's lives. For example, when a historian wants to record the life of a famous individual, what he/she needs to do first is to consult some books and anecdotes about this person. Then the historian needs to interview the giant's family and friends, at the same time he should do some written records. With the accumulating of written records, the historian gradually knows the giant's life, and finally finishes his research.


Last but not lest, sometimes when video records and written records combined together, the result might be more dramatic. The reason is not far to seek. For instance, when a tourist what know to about the Great Wall, he can take some photos first, which could give him a direct vision. Then under the photos, the tourist can write some words about the history of the Great Wall or some mysterious stories happened in the Great Wall. With the help of video records and written records, the tourist can know about Great Wall more comprehensively. Another good example can support my viewpoint is that engineers can descript the appearance of a building with the help of video record, and do some written records about the height and width of the building. By doing this, the engineers can accurately depict the information of the architecture.


To sum up, I consent with the author's statement with some reservations. Through the discussion mentioned above, we can easily reach the conclusion that both video records and written records have advantages and shortcomings. One can never get a general answer that which one is more important, it needs a case-by-case analysis.

xinxingUID: 2112959

有谁能够帮忙看看么？回拍

linxiao1983UID: 203095

After careful and objective analysis on this issue whether video camera is more important than written records or not, I would like to present a position a little contradicting with the author's. Indubitably, video camera can vividly descript the appearance of a person or some grandiose buildings. However, there are something that video that can not depict, such human's emotion, the process of historical events, etc, and under such circumstances, written record is indispensable.



In the first place, the chief reason that I present to support my viewpoint is that video camera has some advantages which written records lack. On the one thing, video camera can provide record which is more accurate and convincing than written records. Since written records always assorated (consorted) with emotion of the author, the records sometimes become subjective and distorted; while video camera can provide accurate and convincing record of the contemporary life. It is the reason why some video camera records can be taken as legal evidence. On March 22, 2004, a group of robbers rushed into the China Bank and robed about 2000,000 yuan.   数字好精确，怀疑考试时能否这样，可以简化为bank robbery吧？   The robbers killed the witnesses who had seen the process. But after three days, they were caught since their visages were photoed by a man who lived in a building near the bank. Seeing the photos   photo=video camera？  , he robbers had nothing to rebut but to acknowledge their crime in the courtroom. On the other hand, video can keep some delectable senses which can help to recall some nice memory. Think of this, when you 人称代词慎用    get old, seeing some old photos can recall your blissful childhood, grand wedding party and happily   happy？   life of your happily. What a nice thing it is! Only video camera can vividly describe such pictures, which written records cannot provide.
   说的比较清楚，也有例子支持，不错  

In addition, the second reason that I fundamentally assert my standpoint is that under certain circumstances, written records are indispensible. (indispensable) Although video camera can racily depict some pictures, there are some abstract things that video camera cannot descript, such as emotion, the process of historical events and famous people's lives. For example, when a historian wants to record the life of a famous individual, what he/she needs to do first is to consult some books and anecdotes about this person. Then the historian needs to interview the giant's family and friends, at the same time he should do some written records. With the accumulating of written records, the historian gradually knows the giant's life, and finally finishes his research.
  历史学家这段有待提炼，稍有点散   

Last but not lest, sometimes when video records and written records combined together, the result might be more dramatic. The reason is not far to seek. For instance, when a tourist what know to about the Great Wall, he can take some photos first, which could give him a direct vision. Then under the photos, the tourist can write some words about the history of the Great Wall or some mysterious stories happened in the Great Wall. With the help of video records and written records, the tourist can know about Great Wall more comprehensively. Another good example can support my viewpoint is that engineers can descript the appearance of a building with the help of video record, and do some written records about the height and width of the building. By doing this, the engineers can accurately depict the information of the architecture.
    这段把主题发展了，是关键的一段，写得不错！

To sum up, I consent with the author's statement with some reservations. Through the discussion mentioned above, we can easily reach the conclusion that both video records and written records have advantages and shortcomings. One can never get a general answer that which one is more important, it needs a case-by-case analysis.
    结尾很棒!

    总的来说，结构清晰，逐步深入，有效的响应了题目的要求，完成的比较好！

建议：文中对video camera的例子主要集中在photo上，其实范围拉大来可能更好说些

继续+U！！