issue4 决战830拍砖组tm 疯狂地再写一篇

yxepochUID: 2124411

大家给点意见,422的issue算不算字数少,还有,为了保持逻辑一致,我老是超时,怎么班?

4."No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."


The rapid development of an academic field not only requires abstruse study of itself, but needs ideas and fruits from other relevant areas as well. Especially during the time of 21st century, no subjects are mutual exclusive. The character of the world we live determines that there should be a lot of interleaving aspects, which ameliorate those academic subjects with unexpected strength.

Nowadays, we have more subsections enjoying various functions to serve human beings, which are extended from those macro subjects like agriculture, industry and service industry. Whatever subsection is, neither can them develop in a vacuum situation. Especially for those new ones, we need to borrow experience and knowledge from outsiders to initiate them based on the assumption that almost all the industries will have same rules at the stage of startup. Tourism industry, as a striking example, becomes prosperous by exerting many canonical methodology and principles of other fields. People use psychological study to meet needs of different customers, use fruits of management to organize the tourism products, use values of architecture or arts to perfect sightseeing and service facilities, etc.

Even though we can’t directly use other fields’ means for production, it is true that referential experience stimulate our creative ideas and innovated methodology to develop our own subject. People were enlightened to build the ship when the buoyant theory established by Archimedes stuck them. Even during our university study, the logic thinking we always use in doing mathematic problems benefits us to figure out a reasonable and persuasive article.

However, to push an academic subject’s development is a undoubtedly difficult and everlasting process. Those glories of one subject are obtained by people who are diligent in learning from others and assiduous in insisting innovations, which are two important parts closely connected. Imagine that if we only rely on outsiders’ experience and knowledge, what we will have should be a mimic thing, unimpressed and easily to be eliminated. Therefore, learning from others is just an auxiliary step, its immanent stimulant still works as the most important part in developing a academic field. Like internet, it appears along with people’s frantic enthusiasm to know the outside world, to contact friends thousands miles away, to realize the instant and convenient communication. Hopefully in the near future, internet will be endowed with more functions as we desired.

In my point of view, we should put ourselves in a right position to learn from others, to better understand our own fields and firmly establish individual fruits which can also be referred by others. (422)

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-14 at 18:11 ]

wineyreUID: 2106739

The rapid development of an academic field not only requires abstruse study of itself, but 这里有个also是忘了还是可以省略的我不知道,听说某些情况可以省什么的,或者也许是not...but, not only...but also吧,说错的话,表打我needs ideas and fruits from other relevant我不确定要不要,因为outsider不一定是从relevant areas过来的.根据A的说法,有点缩小范围,偷换概念...不八卦了 areas as well. Especially during the time of 21st century, no subjects are mutual exclusive. The character of the world we live determines that there should be a lot of interleaving aspects, which ameliorate 这里和题目的significant不一样啊,those academic subjects with unexpected strength. TS不是很明确,大概是因为我习惯用标志词,in my point of view,或者I concede什么的

Nowadays, we have more subsections enjoying various functions to serve human beings, which are extended from those macro subjects like agriculture, industry and service industry. Whatever subsection is, neither can them develop in a vacuum situation.语言赞啊 Especially for those new ones, we need to borrow experience and knowledge from outsiders to initiate them based on the assumption that almost all the industries will have same rules at the stage of startup. Tourism industry, as a striking example, becomes prosperous by exerting many canonical methodology and principles of other fields. People use psychological study to meet needs of different customers, use fruits of management to organize the tourism products, use values of architecture or arts to perfect sightseeing and service facilities, etc.这段一个赞字,逻辑不错,语言很好啊

Even though we can’t directly use other fields’ means for production, it is true that referential experience stimulate our creative ideas and innovated methodology to develop our own subject. People were enlightened to build the ship when the buoyant theory established by Archimedes stuck them. Even during our university study, the logic thinking we always use in doing mathematic problems benefits us to figure out a reasonable and persuasive article. 呵呵,例子精炼,不过是不是需要提一下Archimedes是一个outsider呢,如果你要增加字数的话,可以在这里多说一点,然后把例子分析总结一下,我是习惯把例子说到很白的人,所以字会很多啦.

However, to push an academic subject’s development is a undoubtedly difficult and everlasting process. Those glories of one subject are obtained by people who are diligent in learning from others and assiduous in insisting innovations, which are two important parts closely connected. Imagine that if we only rely on outsiders’ experience and knowledge, what we will have should be a mimic thing, unimpressed and easily to be eliminated. Therefore, learning from others is just an auxiliary step, its immanent stimulant still works as the most important part in developing a academic field. Like internet, it appears along with people’s frantic enthusiasm to know the outside world, to contact friends thousands miles away, to realize the instant and convenient communication这里没怎么看明白,这个例子和后面那句话是怎么样来支持本段TS的?. Hopefully in the near future, internet will be endowed with more functions as we desired.

In my point of view, we should put ourselves in a right position to learn from others, to better understand our own fields and firmly establish individual fruits which can also be referred by others. (422)

总体来说,语言赞,论证也还不错,只是题目里的significantly似乎没有很好的体现.个人认为题中的unless和significantly是两个关键词,呵呵,你再考虑考虑?
至于字数,不觉得特别重要,虽然我自己限时也能上五六百的,觉得如果可以把问题说的清楚的话就可以了.另外大概是因为我自己限时的原因,我的语言就很难看了.

wineyreUID: 2106739

呵呵,帮忙看看我的几篇吧.
issue41
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ighlight=%2Bwineyre
argument17
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=318516

[ Last edited by wineyre on 2005-8-14 at 13:54 ]

momo56288860UID: 191433

我也超时啊，而且超时超得很厉害，不知道怎么办啊

The rapid development of an academic field not only requires abstruse// abstruse是深奥的的意思，改成further,进一步的，是不是好一些// study of itself, but needs ideas and fruits from other relevant areas as well. Especially //during the time of ，in the// 21st century, no subjects are mutual exclusive. The character//是什么特点并没有说，很空同，整句话没有说服力// of the world we live determines that there should be a lot of interleaving aspects, which ameliorate those academic subjects with unexpected strength.

Nowadays, we have more subsections enjoying//providing// various functions to serve human beings, which are extended from those macro subjects like agriculture, industry and service industry//加and so forth//. Whatever subsection is, neither//never// can them develop in a vacuum situation. Especially for those new ones, we need to borrow experience and knowledge from outsiders//outside fields// to initiate them based on the assumption that almost all the industries will have same rules at the stage of startup // at the startup stage //. Tourism industry, as a striking example, becomes prosperous by exerting many canonical methodology// methodologies // and principles of other fields. People use psychological study to meet //the//needs of different customers, use//excert the// fruits of management to organize the tourism products, use//apply the// values of architecture or arts to perfect sightseeing and service facilities, etc.//我喜欢Tourism industry这个例子，赞//

Even though we can’t directly use other fields’ means for production// means for production,改成theories//, it is true that referential experience stimulate our creative ideas and innovated methodology to develop our own subject. People were enlightened to build the ship when the buoyant theory established by Archimedes stuck them. Even during our university study, the logic thinking we always use in doing mathematic problems benefits us to figure out a reasonable and persuasive article.

However, to push an academic subject’s development is a undoubtedly difficult and everlasting process. Those glories of one subject are obtained by people who are diligent in learning from others and assiduous in insisting innovations, which are two important parts closely connected. Imagine that if we only rely on outsiders’ experience and knowledge, what we will have should//just only// be a mimic thing, unimpressed and easily to be eliminated. Therefore, learning from others is just an auxiliary step, its immanent stimulant still works as the most important part in developing a academic field. Like internet, it appears along with people’s frantic enthusiasm to know the outside world, to contact friends thousands miles away, to realize the instant and convenient communication. Hopefully in the near future, internet will be endowed with more functions as we desired.

In my point of view, we should put ourselves in a right position to learn from others, to better understand our own fields and firmly establish individual fruits which can also be referred by others. (422)

整体的文章觉得不错啊，但是论证感觉不够深入。还有结尾也太简单了，你可以看一下高分的范文，最好有自己固定的开头和结尾的模式，因为上了考场我们是没有时间多想的，精彩的开头、结尾和正文都是很重要的，这就所谓的形成自己的模板。

yxepochUID: 2124411

momo说地很有道理,时间不多了,看来我得弄一个比较象样的开头和结尾节省点时间.苦了大家之后看到的都是差不多的开头和结尾,先不好意思一下!