Argument140 Fantasy互改群 恳请批改

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第一次发自己写的文章，恳请批改。。。先说声谢谢：）
TOPIC：ARGUMENT 140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS：393 改后542 太多了：（        TIME：上午 0:30:00          DATE：2005-9-5

The arguer recommends a raise in sallary and a promotion to Department Chairperson for Professor Thomas in fear of her leaving for another college, on the basis of two facts which the arguer considers to demonstrate her teaching and research abilities. While it seems at first glance reasonable, through careful examination the argument is not logically sound.

First of all, there is no background information suggesting the possibility of Proffesor Thomas’s leaving. For example, the arguer fails to inform us the level of her sallary in the realm of education, leaving us to doubt that is $50,000 relatively low so that the professor needs a raise in sallary? Besides, to promote a person uasually means to demote another, especially in such position as chairperson. However, it is unfair to promote Professor Thomas whithout first comparing her with the present chairperson. Therefore, unless the arguer gives enough background information to show the necessity for a sallary raise and promotion, the whole arguement is groundless.

In addition, the arguer assumes a good teaching performance from the mere fact that Professor Thomas's classes are among the largest at the university. While this might indicate her popularity among students, other factors could also account for this phenomenon. For example, perhaps the introductory class to botany is required to be taken by all the students at that university, which of course results in the largest class as it could be. Also could it be the facilities and activities provided by the botony classes that actually attract a large number of students. In this case, the class size would have nothing to do with the teaching abilities of Professor Thomas, thus readering the judgement on her teaching performance open to doubt.

Morover, the arguer fails to give a strong demonstration of Professor Thomas's research abilities. Even though the money the professor brought to the university in researh grants has exceeded her salary in the last two years, this does not necessarily mean that she did well in researching. The arguer fails to inform us that she is better than other professors in doing research. Maybe it is normal for professors in botany to bring in huge research funds, or perhaps there are other professors who have brought in more money than her to the university in research grands. More important is that bringing money into researches does not amount to having the ability to get good results out of them. It is entirely possible that Professor Thomas succeeded in convincing others to invest money but failed to live up to their expectancy by conducting poor researches. Therefore, such possibilities should be eliminated and more substantial evidences are in need to convince us the research abilities of Professor Thomas.

Finally, the arguer unwarrantedly assumes that a raise in sallary and a promotion would keep Professor Thomas stay, without investigating the real reason for her leaving, granted that she intends to leave. There might be reasons other than money and position that accounts for her leaving, such as the university’s running system, the limited laboratorial facilities, or some personal factors like to better take care of her old parents. Only after a thourough investigation of the actual reasons behind her intention to leave for another college, to eliminate other possible reasons, can the recommendation promises to be justifiable.

Overall, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. In order to lend stronger support to the recommendation, some background information are in need concerning Professor Thomas's present situation at university and attitudeas towards sallary and position, as well as more evidences to demonstrate her teaching and research abilities.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-9-5 at 17:04 ]

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First of all, there is no background information suggesting the possibility of Proffesor Thomas’s leaving. For example, the arguer fails to inform us the level of her sallary in the realm of education, leaving us to doubt that is $50,000 relatively low so that the professor needs a raise in sallary? Besides, to promote a person uasually means to demote another, especially in such position as chairperson...可能正好主任升迁了呢？... However, it is unfair to promote Professor Thomas whithout first comparing her with the present chairperson. Therefore, unless the arguer gives enough background information to show the necessity for a sallary raise and promotion, the whole arguement is groundless.

In addition, the arguer assumes a good teaching performance from the mere fact that Professor Thomas's classes are among the largest at the university. While this might indicate her popularity among students, other factors could also account for this phenomenon. For example, perhaps the introductory class to botany is required to be taken by all ...不一定是all吧？最多就行了。或者人多班少，老师少。the students at that university, which of course results in the largest class as it could be. Also could it be the facilities and activities provided by the botony classes that actually attract a large number of students. In this case, the class size would have nothing to do with the teaching abilities of Professor Thomas, thus readering the judgement on her teaching performance is open  to doubt.

感觉不错，论证很充分，向你学习！:)

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多谢楼上意见与鼓励！