Issue130【文以载道小组3】第1次作业2008.11.10 cadget

cadgetUID: 2565428

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

提纲：
1. 社会化的定义、内容及重要性；
2. 如今，学校在社会化过程中正扮演一个至关重要的角色；
3. 而且，家长们意识到家庭教育在社会化的重要性，正积极地参与这个工程。
4. 最近几十年，我们受到良好社会化的孩子取得了巨大的成就。

People often say, "Children are flowers of nations." That is to say children represent the future. It is naturally that people would ask, “Have we learned how to raise our children?” The answer is "Yes", as discussed below.

In order to demonstrate this issue effectively, it is necessary to define the conception of "socialization". To adapt current and the future life, individual identifies and accepts social system of value, norm and pattern of activity, internalizes to his heart, and turns into individual view of value and the yardstick of his behavior. These processes are so—called socialization, and it includes four portions: imparting living skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection. Without the process of socialization, our children are probably brought up into selfish, violent, and intolerant adults, and they may deficient in communicating with peers, respecting others, and cooperating with their companies. As a result, our society would fill with misunderstanding, hatred, and envy. Therefore, socialization is an important factor that ensures our society to develop a harmonious one which we hope for.

Nowadays, school is playing a vital role in the process of socialization. On the course of linguistics, teachers impart students various language, culture, social interaction's skill, which are indispensable knowledge bucked for vocation; children understand to restrict their behavior, adjust relation with peers, maintain whole society's order after learning ethnics; during the subject of philosophy, children construct philosophy of life, which have a momentous effect on their life; and school transport eligible social role's selection through the process of socialization. In a word, school provides a playground where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, and compete with each other in a healthy manner.

In addition, recognizing the importance of family education in socialization, parents are actively taking part in this project. To some extent, family education has a positive effect on children's growth. Take Abraham Lincoln, a great president of American, as an example. When Abraham Lincoln was young, his mother, Nancy Hanks, consciously impart truth into daily life. Therefore, he once said," all the things l hold come from my seraphic mother." Fortunately, people begin to pay attention to this project now. In the daily life, parents teach their children to do both cooking and washing, which are the basic living skill; many social norms told by parents are familiar to us, such as: “Please don’t split; don’t litter”, “Obey the traffic rules”; by discussing social affairs and communicating ideality, children establish their positive outlooks on life. Combine with teaching course, these measures help children grow into comprehensible, effective, and respectful members of society.

During the most recent decades, our children who are well—socialized have made great achievement in many fields. As grasping many foreign languages and cultures, we can communicate with people from different countries, with different cultures and religions, which is helpful to diminish discrimination among us. With methodic traffic system, we could go to everywhere we like. Due to different special divisions, every field has made a complete development. Those progresses we have made should owe to our successful socialization system.

To sum up, with the efforts of teachers and parents, our children would grow up healthily, and the civilization's torch would relay from generation to generation. In my opinion, our home would become more and more harmonious, convenient, and advanced.



   素材不足，问题也没能展开:(
   雷，我把原稿删了:loveliness:

[ 本帖最后由 cadget 于 2008-11-15 09:34 编辑 ]

GenevUID: 2543794

第二段从socialization定义入手的写法非常好，深入到问题的本质。

后面分学校家庭来论述，可以结合前面socialization的四个方面，还可以加上社会媒体的角色，指出每个角色的不足，改进的办法，这样结合topic。

第五段例证不是很有力，socialization与各种成就与进步的关系不清楚。

总的来说，欣赏你的思路 ：）

cadgetUID: 2565428

你说的很对
第三段是从这四个内容入手的啊
第四段写的很乱，因为不知道该如何从社会化那四个内容切入，最后就随便列举了家庭采取的几个措施。:( 这个素材也不合适，应该列举一些能够证明父母参与社会化过程的素材，这个素材只能说明父母参与社会化过程的重要性，:(
第五段是今天上午又加进去的，问题如你所说
写完这一篇，我就感觉对于一个问题不知道怎么展开，更郁闷的是拿到中文我也不知道怎么去展开论证它:mad
还有一个问题，素材....用了很长时间才找到这个唯一的素材，而且还不合适:vomit:
帮我指条明路吧;)

tiffany2108UID: 2533729

觉得这个思路还是比较有特色的。很少看到肯定题目观点的文章。赫赫

第一段没什么问题，第二段的想法和我写的一样也是从定义入手，不过我们的定义有些差别，你是从哪里找的定义呢？赫赫。。。。嗯说回正题


People often say, "Children are flowers of nations." That is to say children represent the future. It is naturally that people would ask, “Have we learned how to raise our children?” The answer is "Yes", as discussed below.（观点比较少见哦！）

In order to demonstrate this issue effectively, it is necessary to define the conception of "socialization". （建议用冒号）To adapt current and the future life, individual identifies and accepts social system of value, norm and pattern of activity, internalizes to his heart, and turns into individual view of value and the yardstick of his behavior. These processes are so—called socialization, and it includes four portions: imparting life's skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection.（觉得定义稍长，而且这四部分似乎和下文没有多大关系，如果下文是按这四部分进行分析社会化的重要性之类的话似乎才有必要写） Without the process of socialization, our children are probably brought up into selfish, violent, and intolerant adults, and they may deficient in communicating with peers, respecting others, and cooperating with their companies. As a result, our society would fill with misunderstanding, hatred, and envy. Therefore, socialization is an important factor that ensures our society to develop a harmonious one which we hope for.

Nowadays, ( 逻辑上跳到这段有点生硬) school is playing a vital role in the process of socialization. On the course of linguistics, teachers impart students various language, culture, social interaction's skill, which are indispensable knowledge bucked for vocation; children understand to restrict their behavior, adjust relation with peers, maintain whole society's order after learning ethnics; during the subject of philosophy, children construct philosophy of life, which have a momentous effect on their life; and school transport eligible social role's selection through the process of socialization. In a word, school provides a playground where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, and compete with each other in a healthy manner.( 学校教育对社会化的作用,但觉得应该有句子回到题目,去表现”这就说明了我们已经有了一定的方法去帮助儿童社会化,建议放在开头,因为下一段也是在说明这个问题)

In addition, recognizing the importance of family education in socialization, parents are actively taking part in this project. In the past, people misunderstand it is teacher's liability to educate children. In fact, family education also effects a child's growth. Take Abraham Lincoln, a great president of American, as an example. When Abraham Lincoln was young, his mother, Nancy Hanks, consciously impart truth into daily life. Therefore, he once said," all the things l hold come from my seraphic mother." Fortunately, people begin to pay attention to this project now. Many measures, such as cultivating the capacity of self—studying, tutoring educational psychology, emphasizing on physical training and so on, are carried out. Combine with teaching course, these measures help children grow into comprehensible, effective, and respectful members of society.（只论述了学校和家庭两方面然后突然就转向其他方向的论述了觉得还是有点唐突）

During the most recent decades, our children who are well—socialized have made great achievement in many fields. Our astronaut ascended to moon for the first time in the human history. (个人感觉例子不当,登月和社会化没有密切关系)The science changes with each passing day. Regardless of different nation, culture, religion between them, people could communicate with everyone with the rapid development of internet. By means of convenient traffic system, we could go to everywhere we like. Our society respects human right, advocates freedom, democracy, and equality. Those progresses we have made should owe to our successful socialization system.（本段应该明确中心句，是科技进步等等的关系促进了传播促进了社会化，然后论证论证论证BLABLABLA然后再说这让社会更美好了）

To sum up, with the efforts of teachers and parents, our children would grow up healthily, and the civilization's torch would relay from generation to generation. In my opinion, our home would become more and more harmonious, convenient, and advanced.


总体来说，思路我还是比较喜欢的。语言也顺畅。不知道有没有查着字典写列？词汇也不错。不过语言上好像少了一点亮点。

:) 欢迎回拍！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

tiffany2108UID: 2533729

People often say, "Children are flowers of nations." That is to say children represent the future. It is naturally that people would ask, “Have we learned how to raise our children?” The answer is "Yes", as discussed below.

In order to demonstrate this issue effectively, it is necessary to define the conception of "socialization".(用冒号吧) To adapt (/\ to the) current and the future life, individual identifies and accepts social system of value, norm and pattern of activity, internalizes to his heart, and turns into individual view of value and the yardstick of his behavior. These processes are so—called socialization, and it includes four portions: imparting living skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection. （觉得定义稍长，觉得下文可以利用这四个方面进行分层论述）
Without the process of socialization, our children are probably brought up into selfish, violent, and intolerant adults, and they may deficient in communicating with peers, respecting others, and cooperating with their companies. As a result, our society would fill with misunderstanding, hatred, and envy. Therefore, socialization is an important factor that ensures our society to develop a harmonious one which we hope for.
Nowadays, school is playing a vital role in the process of socialization. On the course of linguistics, teachers impart students various language, culture, social interaction's skill, which are indispensable knowledge bucked for vocation; children understand to restrict their behavior, adjust relation with peers, maintain whole society's order after learning ethnics(喜欢这个排比); ( 感觉这个分号之后分出的层是说philosophy和之前说的老师给学生什么,学生学会什么已经不是同一个分法的了)during the subject of philosophy, children construct philosophy of life, which have a momentous effect on their life; （同上）and school transport eligible social role's selection through the process of socialization. In a word, school provides a playground where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, and compete with each other in a healthy manner.（分几层来论述的方法不错）

In addition, recognizing the importance of family education in socialization, parents are actively taking part in this project. To some extent, family education has a positive effect on children's growth. Take Abraham Lincoln, a great president of American, as an example. When Abraham Lincoln was young, his mother, Nancy Hanks, consciously impart truth into daily life. Therefore, he once said," all the things l hold come from my seraphic mother." Fortunately, people begin to pay attention to this project now. In the daily life, parents teach their children to do both cooking and washing, which are the basic living skill; many social norms told by parents are familiar to us, such as: “Please don’t split; don’t litter”, “Obey the traffic rules”; by discussing social affairs and communicating ideality, children establish their positive outlooks on life. （觉得句式可以更统一些，比如都用by+doing ….children learn/establish/….）Combine with teaching course, these measures help children grow into comprehensible, effective, and respectful members of society.

During the most recent decades, our children who are well—socialized have made great achievement in many fields. As grasping many foreign languages and cultures, we can communicate with people from different countries, with different cultures and religions, which is helpful to diminish discrimination among us. With methodic traffic system, we could go to everywhere we like. Due to different special divisions, every field has made a complete development. Those progresses we have made should owe to our successful socialization system.( 恩恩 去掉登月的好多了,论证上也严密多了.)

To sum up, with the efforts of teachers and parents, our children would grow up healthily, and the civilization's torch would relay from generation to generation. In my opinion, our home would become more and more harmonious, convenient, and advanced.

kennith_leeUID: 199791

说明：红色为感觉有误的地方；蓝色为值得学习的地方；暗红为我的批注。
            由于个人水平，所作批注仅供参考和交流。有批错地方还请原谅。
People often say, "Children are flowers of nations." That is to say children represent the future. It is naturally that people would ask, “Have we learned how to raise our children?” The answer is "Yes", as discussed below.
(开篇采用迂回战术引出观点：同意前半个观点，反对后半个观点。高！！)
In order to demonstrate this issue effectively, it is necessary to define the conception of "socialization". (通过定义抢占论证先机，把矛盾引到自己可控范围，既科学严谨，也为后面的论证开辟了道路)To adapt current and the future life, individual identifies and accepts social system of value, norm and pattern of activity, internalizes to his heart, and turns into individual view of value and the yardstick of his behavior. (这句话说得很好，但是感觉有点长)These processes are so—called socialization, and it includes four portions: imparting life's skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection.  (引出socialization's definition )Without the process of socialization, our children are probably brought up into selfish, violent, and intolerant adults, and they may deficient in communicating with peers, respecting others, and cooperating with their companies. As a result, our society would fill with misunderstanding, hatred, and envy. Therefore, socialization is an important factor that ensures our society to develop a harmonious one which we hope for. (由定义→社会化的重要性。层层推进，therefore, as a result等词的承接作用，让人看起来很舒服）
(本段观点：社会化很重要。与首段观点一致，论证有力。)
Nowadays, school is playing a vital role in the process of socialization. On the course of linguistics, teachers impart students various language, culture, social interaction's skill, which are indispensable knowledge bucked for vocation; children understand to restrict their behavior, adjust relation with peers, maintain whole society's order after learning ethnics; during the subject of philosophy, children construct philosophy of life, which have a momentous effect on their life; and school transport eligible social role's selection through the process of socialization. In a word, school provides a playground where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, and compete with each other in a healthy manner.
(主题句：学校对社会化的重要作用。例子丰富，有说服力，很好地说明了TS。如果能把这些例子结合B1的定义来论述，那肯定是绝了！！)
In addition, recognizing the importance of family education in socialization, parents are actively taking part in this project. In the past, people misunderstand it is teacher's liability to educate children. In fact, family education also effects a child's growth. Take Abraham Lincoln, a great president of American, as an example. When Abraham Lincoln was young, his mother, Nancy Hanks, consciously impart truth into daily life. Therefore, he once said," all the things l hold come from my seraphic mother." Fortunately, people begin to pay attention to this project now. Many measures, such as cultivating the capacity of self—studying, tutoring educational psychology, emphasizing on physical training and so on, are carried out. (这些方法是家庭采用的吗？如果是，还是应该点名一下)Combine with teaching course, these measures help children grow into comprehensible, effective, and respectful members of society.
(主题：家庭对社会化的重要影响。Abraham Lincoln的例子选得很贴切，但是Present measures似乎有点没说透彻是怎么发挥积极影响的。)
During the most recent decades, our children who are well—socialized have made great achievement in many fields(这句话有点让人费解，应该修正一下。作者应该是想表达：社会化好的孩子长大后贡献突出。应该补词：during their adulthood，否则就是孩子直接成绩斐然了). Our astronaut ascended to moon for the first time in the human history. The science changes with each passing day. Regardless of different nation, culture, religion between them, people could communicate with everyone with the rapid development of internet. By means of convenient traffic system, we could go to everywhere we like. Our society respects human right, advocates freedom, democracy, and equality. Those progresses we have made should owe to our successful socialization system.(这个结论有点突然，为什么它们是社会化的结果呢？在前面应该若有其事地渲染一下)
(主题：实例证明成功社会化创造了优质社会。与首段第二观点吻合。)
To sum up, with the efforts of teachers and parents, our children would grow up healthily, and the civilization's torch would relay from generation to generation. In my opinion, our home would become more and more harmonious, convenient, and advanced.
(结论：应该传承社会化，创造美好明天。在论证首段观点之后，拔高式呼吁和展望。好结论)

简评：
1. 文章思路清晰：陈述观点→社会化很重要→学校对社会化的重要作用+家庭对社会化的重要影响+实例证明成功社会化创造了优质社会→我们很好地教育孩子的社会化→应该传承社会化创造美好明天；
2. 各分论点例子能为TS服务，承接清楚。论证比较有力；
3. 个别地方的结论有点突然（见文中批改）

cadgetUID: 2565428

谢谢LS几位
其实你改的是原版，修改版是带颜色的那篇;)

G嘻哈DUID: 2454459

觉得kennith_lee批改方式简洁明了，学习下下。。哇卡卡
说明：红色为感觉有误的地方；蓝色为值得学习的地方；暗红为我的批注。
            由于个人水平，所作批注仅供参考和交流。有批错地方还请原谅。
People often say, "Children are flowers of nations." That is to say children represent the future. It is naturally that people would ask, “Have we learned how to raise our children?” The answer is "Yes", as discussed below.（开头很新颖，赞同前者，反对后者。个人感觉应该把观点再明确些，Children are flowers of nations　说明对孩子教育的重要性，最好能进一步指出与socialization的关系）

In order to demonstrate this issue effectively, it is necessary to define the conception of "socialization". To adapt （adapt to sth.）current and the future life, individual identifies and accepts social system of value, norm and pattern of activity, internalizes to his heart, and turns into individual view of value and the yardstick of his behavior. (从社会化的定义入手很不错，而且拓宽了社会化的定义，不是单纯的社交。)These processes are so—called socialization, and it includes four portions: imparting life's skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection. Without the process of socialization, our children are probably brought up into selfish, violent, and intolerant adults, and they may deficient in communicating with peers, respecting others, and cooperating with their companies. As a result, our society would fill with misunderstanding, hatred, and envy. Therefore, socialization is an important factor that ensures our society to develop a harmonious one which we hope for.（TS ：社会化很重要。由定义开始层层推进社会化的重要性。条理很清楚）

Nowadays, school is playing a vital role in the process of socialization.（TS：学校在社会化中的作用） On the course of linguistics, teachers impart students various language, culture, social interaction's skill, which are indispensable knowledge bucked for vocation; children understand to restrict their behavior, adjust relation with peers, maintain whole society's order after learning ethnics; during the subject of philosophy, children construct philosophy of life, which have a momentous effect on their life; and school transport eligible social role's selection through the process of socialization. In a word, school provides a playground where children learn to negotiate, cooperate, and compete with each other in a healthy manner.（从四个方面来写和上文结合得很好）

In addition, recognizing the importance of family education in socialization, parents are actively taking part in this project. （TS ：家庭教育在社会化中发挥的作用）In the past, people misunderstand it is teacher's liability to educate children. In fact, family education also effects a child's growth. Take Abraham Lincoln, a great president of American, as an example. When Abraham Lincoln was young, his mother, Nancy Hanks, consciously impart truth into daily life. Therefore, he once said," all the things l hold come from my seraphic mother." （Lincoln 的母亲到底教了他什么呢impart truth into daily life好像泛了点，而且他母亲的教育是怎么样使得L良好社会化的呢）Fortunately, people begin to pay attention to this project now. Many measures, such as cultivating the capacity of self—studying, tutoring educational psychology, emphasizing on physical training and so on, are carried out. Combine with teaching course, these measures help children grow into comprehensible, effective, and respectful members of society.

During the most recent decades, our children who are well—socialized have made great achievement in many fields.（社会化好的孩子将来对社会做出了许多贡献。） Our astronaut ascended to moon for the first time in the human history. The science changes with each passing day. Regardless of different nation, culture, religion between them, people could communicate with everyone with the rapid development of internet. By means of convenient traffic system, we could go to everywhere we like. Our society respects human right, advocates freedom, democracy, and equality. （列举出当今社会的各项进步，和繁荣发展，来说明TS，但这些进步和发展跟孩子是否良好社会化有必然联系吗？）Those progresses we have made should owe to our successful socialization system. （这个结论来的突然）

To sum up, with the efforts of teachers and parents, our children would grow up healthily, and the civilization's torch would relay from generation to generation. In my opinion, our home would become more and more harmonious, convenient, and advanced.


总结：
　１.　文章的语言自然流畅，语言功底很好
　２.　不知是不是我中这道题范文毒太深，范文是二者反对的。所以总感觉这篇文章在多角度方面有些不足，可以在第二段中再稍稍提及下其它因素对决定社会命运的作用。
　３.　另外有个小小的建议，你的连接符打得太长让人感觉像破折号，我第一眼看时还以为是个定语从句。呵呵

[ 本帖最后由 G嘻哈D 于 2008-11-15 00:16 编辑 ]

chvlylUID: 2201025

我基本是在挑刺,有些地方都是我个人观点,并不是认为LZ这样写不对.我基本是按照我自己思路在改,请LZ见谅,也希望LZ能回拍
搞不清楚哪个是你改过的,随便改一个了.

People often say, "Children are flowers of nations."That is to say children represent the future. It is naturally thatpeople would ask, “Have we learned how to raise our children?” Theanswer is "Yes", as discussed below. (我觉得这种开头有点绕,我个人比较喜欢开门见山的开头,"题目观点有问题,简单说说我自己观点"这种,而且我个人比较喜欢把分论点也在开头段简单概括,比如"socialize 重要,但是还有其他因素.在这点上,我们能更好培养children")

(我觉得来个中心句比较好,socializ重要,然后第二句在开始下定义)In order to demonstrate this issue effectively, it is necessary todefine the conception of "socialization". To adapt (我觉得这里来个介词比较好,for?虽然adapter可以做vt, You should adapt yourself to the new environment , Adapt our native cuisine to the available food resources of the new country,找了两个例句,不太合适,你自己琢磨琢磨吧)current and thefuture life, individual identifies and accepts social system of value,norm and pattern of activity, internalizes to his heart, and turns (turn主语是谁?individual turns into individual.....? 可能我没看明白,你看改成这样如何, turning intoindividual view of value.....一来动宾短语,主语可以理解成前面的system...那些,二来避免和后面那个and重复) intoindividual view of value and the yardstick of his behavior. Theseprocesses are so—called socialization, and it includes four portions:imparting life's skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim,and providing role's selection.(这个定义有点长,尤其是跟你后面论证比起来.论证就单薄了,显得头重脚轻,你看这样如何,加点内容联系socializ和children关系,说下socialize是交children哪些东西,然后再接后面那句反面论证,这样思路过渡就自然了,要不然,下完定义就直接说不socialize会导致children如何,这二者关系之前都没交待了,显得比较唐突) Without the process of socialization,our children are (我觉得这里用虚拟语气是不是好点?)probably brought up into selfish, violent, andintolerant adults, and they may deficient in communicating with peers,respecting others, and cooperating with their companies. As a result,our society would fill with misunderstanding, hatred, and envy.Therefore, socialization is an important factor that ensures oursociety to develop a harmonious one which we hope for.(你看,开头有个主题句的话,中间来点正面论证的话,主题句-下定义-正面论证-方面论证-结论,这个论证过程就完美了!)

Nowadays, school is playing a vital role in the process ofsocialization. (有个主题句,不错!但是让我挑刺的话,我会觉得来个however比较好,毕竟是写题目的反面观点,现在school在socialize方面起作用,你可以琢磨琢磨有没有更好的方法表示你是在反对题目后半句)On the course of linguistics, teachers impart studentsvarious language(impart用在这里不好,他后面一般跟抽象名词,比如impart knowledge等,具体内容language最好不要用impart,告诉你最简单方法,你google impart language和impart knowledge就知道了), culture, social interaction's skill, which areindispensable knowledge bucked for vocation; children understand torestrict their behavior, adjust relation with peers, maintain wholesociety's order after learning ethnics; during the subject ofphilosophy, children construct philosophy of life, which have amomentous effect on their life; and school transport eligible socialrole's selection through the process of socialization. (这个school写得很好,我也写school了,但是没你写得具体,我学习学习)In a word,school provides a playground where children learn to negotiate,cooperate, and compete (我在北美上也看到这句了,当时觉得着这句话还是不好,我觉得点一下negotiate,cooperate, and compete是socialize一部分比较好, learn to negotiate,cooperate, and compete which are essential part of socializtion, 你看怎么样?这样又和中心论点联系起来了)with each other in a healthy manner.(呵呵,我喜欢的风格,中心句-论证-结论句)

In addition, recognizing the importance of family education insocialization, parents are actively taking part in this project.(中心句) In thepast, people misunderstand (我喜欢这样写,it has always been misunderstood that, 感觉更像书面语)it is teacher's liability to educatechildren. In fact, family education also effects a child's growth. TakeAbraham Lincoln, a great president of American, as an example. WhenAbraham Lincoln was young, his mother, Nancy Hanks, consciously imparttruth (这个impart可以)into daily life. Therefore, he once said," all the things l holdcome from my seraphic mother."(举完例子得点一下,跟你的论点是怎么来联系起来的) Fortunately, people begin to payattention to this project now. Many measures, such as cultivating thecapacity of self—studying, tutoring educational psychology, emphasizingon physical training and so on, are carried out. Combine (Combining)with teachingcourse, these measures help children grow into comprehensible,effective, and respectful members of society.

During the most recent decades, our children who are well—socializedhave made great achievement in many fields. Our astronaut ascended tomoon for the first time in the human history. The science changes witheach passing day. Regardless of different nation, culture, religionbetween them, people could communicate with everyone with the rapiddevelopment of internet. By means of convenient traffic system, wecould go to everywhere we like. Our society respects human right,advocates freedom, democracy, and equality. Those progresses we havemade should owe to our successful socialization system.

To sum up, with the efforts of teachers and parents, our children wouldgrow up healthily, and the civilization's torch would relay fromgeneration to generation. In my opinion, our home would become more andmore harmonious, convenient, and advanced.(结尾似乎没点题啊,按照我习惯是把自己观点总结一下,而不是引申或抒情一下)


1. LZ文字功底还是很强的,有点小问题
2.思路上我觉得比较清晰,个别地方过度不自然


[ 本帖最后由 chvlyl 于 2008-11-15 00:18 编辑 ]

G嘻哈DUID: 2454459

不好意思，改完了才发现改的是原版。。明天早上还要上选修课，先这样吧。。。

GenevUID: 2543794

imparting living skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection
从后两个功能开来，socialization是个人与社会相融合的过程，因此决定了未来社会的命运。Round peg in round hole社会就会和谐。

cadgetUID: 2565428

我的理解有点不一致，我觉得这四个功能是为孩子进入社会做准备
传授生活技能，教导社会规范，指引人生观，提供角色选择，这四个都是帮助孩子按照正确的方向进入社会
而社会化是孩子进入社会以后的过程
你的建议对我帮助很大，拓展了我写作的思路，many thanks，以后多交流，:loveliness: