Issue152 [AWB小组] 第五次作业

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Whether the corporate executives should only take one responsibility of making as much money as possible for their companies within the law, we have to consider that carefully before we get the conclusion.

The people holding the above idea seem reasonable because making money is a chief activity of a company whose definition in the dictionary is “an organization which aims at making profits”. Comparing to other organizations such as hospitals, schools and charities, which are supported by both the governments and all the residents, to earn money is the only way that a company could survive in the society and stand up among the competitors, therefore an excellent corporate executive has to try his or her best to enlarge the market and increase the fortune for the whole company.

Are there any other responsibilities which should be taken by corporate executives, such as improving the image of the company, building a long-term relationship with their customers and partners, increasing the benefits of their employees and even promoting the development of the society?

One has to admit that to make money is the purpose of every company, based on which, to win a good reputation for the company, to establish a good two-side relationship with the cooperators, and to provide the employees better salaries and bonus are all just effective measures to achieve the result. If a company could win some kudos in the market, it will become much easier for the company to get more businesses and with the increase of the business, money comes naturally. If the employees are treated well and they will become more loyal, as a result of that, they will contribute their wisdoms to the company as much as they could and create more values for the employers. However, all of the activities serve the aim of money-making, which support that the most important responsibility of corporate executives is to make as much money as possible for their companies.

On the other hand, when we pay attention to the final aim of the company, we can not ignore the social attributes of a company that it belongs to the society so that it should bring some advantages to the whole society! Every big company hopes that it could run as long as possible.

In sum, to make money is the most important responsibility, but it is not the only responsibility according to the analysis above.

401words

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讨论记录：
开头要明确的提出观点
承上启下不要单独一段
On the other hand有并列之嫌，用个递进的词

dennis1230UID: 2247126

Whether the corporate executives should only take one responsibility of making as much money as possible for their companies within the law, we have to consider that carefully before we get the[a] conclusion.没有主题句吗？

The people holding the above idea seem reasonable [这里的句式应该是The above idea seems reasonable.而且前面没有提出观点，怎么能说people holding the above idea ] because making money is a chief activity of a company whose definition in the dictionary is “an organization which aims at making profits”. Comparing to other organizations such as hospitals, schools and charities, which are supported by both the governments and all the residents, to earn money is the only way that a company could survive in the society and stand up among the competitors, therefore an excellent corporate executive has to try his or her best to enlarge the market [不够准确；expand its power in the market可以不] and increase the fortune for the whole company.

Are there any other responsibilities which should be taken by corporate executives, such as improving the image of the company, building a long-term relationship with their customers and partners, increasing the benefits of their employees and even promoting the development of the society?

One has to admit that to make money is the purpose of every company, based on which, to win a good reputation for the [a] company, to establish a good two-side relationship with the [the去掉] cooperators, and to provide the [the去掉] employees better salaries and bonus are all just effective measures to achieve the result. If a company could win some kudos in the market, it will become much easier for the company [for the company稍显多余，可去掉] to get more businesses and with the increase of the business, money comes naturally[后半句是什么意思？]. If the employees are treated well and [then] they will become more loyal, as a result of that, they will contribute their wisdoms to the company as much as they could and create more values for the employers. However, all of the activities serve the aim of money-making, which support that the most important responsibility of corporate executives is to make as much money as possible for their companies.

On the other hand, when we pay attention to the final aim of the company, we can not ignore the social attributes of a company that it belongs to the society so that it should bring some advantages to the whole society! Every big company hopes that it could run as long as possible.这一段仅仅陈述了分论点，而没有展开

In sum, to make money is [加上one of会不会好一些] the most important responsibility, but it is not the only responsibility according to the analysis above. [结尾过于匆忙，其实可以总结的更好的，比如总结两者关系，也许是限时的原因吧，加油]

[ 本帖最后由 dennis1230 于 2007-3-7 14:54 编辑 ]