issue144必回拍

clylizeUID: 150642

144. "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
The author asserts that lasting value thing in society is created by the artist, not the critic. In my point of view, I agree with the author. Critics just let people know what is value to see or listen. They can not create anything valuable.

First, everyone can become a critic. If he/she learns something about artwork, he/she can introduce artwork to laypersons, and help them to understand and appreciate the work of art. But it does not mean anyone can become the artist. For example, there is a dish. Everyone can taste it, and can draw a different conclusion with it. He/She can think the dish is delicious or is not very well, but he/she does not know how to cook it except the chef. The critic can help people know how to watch the artwork. However, each artwork is made by artist’s soul, heart and emotion. Different people can give different conclusions after they appreciate the artwork. Only the artist knows what the spirit of his/her artwork.

Second, the critic often praises or criticizes to artwork, and gives the artist advices. However, he/she just observes on the art which can not bring any value to society. Only the artist can creates the better artwork which brings more value from the critic’s advice. What use does the critic have? He/She just collects a lot of messages from the artwork and sends it to the artist. He/She is a bridge form person to artist.

Third, the critic can make a wrong point of art at sometimes. He/She filters a lot of artworks, and decides which people should pay more attention to. He/She can let most people notice a not famous artist, and let the artist well known in short time. In fact, some artists’ artworks are not worth of watch. However, they bribe the critic. Then, their artworks which have low value make people waste a lot of time to watch.  Some good artists do not have enough money to bribe the critic. So their artworks could not be known. It is a pity to society. The critic is often limited by person’s taste. For example, Van Gogh is a famous painter. His pictures are very expensive now. Who can image that he only sells one picture when he is live? The critic who is live in Van Gogh’s time does not notice him. He/She can not image Van Gogh is very popular in modern times. He/She is misguided.
   
In sum, I can speak the artist give more value thing to society. The work of art is a mirror of the culture in society. It lefts most information about the artist’s age, and brings lasting value to society. The critic just gives some information about the artwork. He/She often misguide people for some reasons which do not publish. He/She can not create value by himself/herself. He/she is just an assistant tool to the artist.

clylizeUID: 150642

1 每个人都可以做评论家 只要学习过相关知识 就可以从不同的角度来评论作品。然而不是每个人都可以做出艺术品。比如一道菜 每个人都可以品尝同时得出不同的结论，但是只有厨师才会作出来
2 评论家会提出批评和表扬 也会把这些反馈给作者。但是，这只是艺术的挖掘，而不是产生价值。艺术家也可能根据这些评论，在将来产生更好的艺术品，具有更高的价值，因此，这些艺术品还是由艺术家们来产生的，而不是评论家。
3评论家有可能会误导艺术 他们可以很容易把一个不出名的人变成出名的人在短时间内。有的人的作品其实不好 但是由于他们的评论导致很多人注意。因此也会有人通过这个方式来贿赂评论家 导致不公平的评论。同时也因为他们的误导 从而使真正的艺术家被人忽视。比如凡高

amanda1011UID: 2106668

The author asserts that lasting value thing in society is created by the artist, not the critic. In my point of view, I agree with the author. Critics just let people know what is value to see or listen[to]. They can not create anything valuable.[太绝对了]

First, everyone[anyone] can become a critic. If he/she learns something about artwork[这个句子写的不确切，learn something就可以给人家介绍艺术了？似乎有点……], he/she can introduce artwork to laypersons, and help them to understand and appreciate the work of art. But it does not mean anyone can become the artist. [后面的例子比前面这段论述来得贴切]For example, there is a dish. Everyone can taste it, and can draw a different conclusion with[of] it. He/She can think the dish is delicious or is not very well, but he/she does not know how to cook it except the chef.[倒过来说只有厨师知道怎么做不是更好？把厨师放到except里面表达的语气就弱了] The critic can help people know how to watch the artwork.[这句中国话，而且跟前面那句help them to ……感觉一直在重复一个意思] However, each artwork is made by artist’s soul, heart and emotion. Different people can give different conclusions after they appreciate the artwork. Only the artist knows what the spirit of his/her artwork.[这段那个厨师的例子不错，其他语言比较匮乏，颠来倒去都差不多一个意思。]

Second, the critic often praises or criticizes to[去掉，前面两个都是及物动词，后面加an] artwork, and gives the artist advices. However, he/she just observes on[去掉，及物动词] the art which[and] can not bring any value to society. Only the artist can creates the better [an] artwork which brings more value from the critic’s advice. What use does the critic have?[这个句子有点夸张，会吓坏ets的，哈哈] He/She just collects a lot of messages from the artwork and sends it to the artist. He/She is a bridge form[from] person[people] to artist.

Third, the critic can make a wrong point of art at sometimes. He/She filters a lot of artworks, and decides which people should pay more attention to. He/She can let most people notice a not famous [unfamous]artist, and let the artist well known in short time. In fact, some artists’ artworks are not worth[worthy] of watch. However, they bribe the critic. Then, their artworks which have low value make people waste a lot of time to watch.  Some good artists do not have enough money to bribe the critic. So their artworks could not be known. It is a pity to society. The critic is often limited by person’s taste. For example, Van Gogh is a famous painter. His pictures are very expensive now. Who can image that he only sells[sold] one picture when he is[was alive] live? The critic who is live[lived] in Van Gogh’s time[times] does[did] not notice him. He/She can[could] not image Van Gogh is[would be] very popular in modern times. He/She is misguided[谁被误导啊？评论家？].
   
In sum, I can speak[speak是不及物动词，而且这句不好，哪能你说是啥就是啥呢？] the artist give more value thing to society. The work of art is a mirror of the culture in society. It lefts[leaves us] most[干嘛用最高级啊？] information about the artist’s age, and brings lasting value to society. The critic just gives some information about the artwork. He/She often misguide people for some reasons which do not publish. [这句表达不清，误导什么？]He/She can not create value by himself/herself.[说得有点绝对了] He/she is just an assistant tool to the artist.

[中文的提纲写得挺清晰，可是表达到文章里意思就不是那么确切了。呵呵，cc是不是限时写起来就手忙脚乱了，单复数，时态都忘了，句子多为简单句，用词也很多不恰当的地方。要多多加强哦，看点文笔好的文章，收集一些地道的表达法。
下面讲逻辑方面的：似乎第三段有点跑题，说评论家抹煞艺术家，跟题目的“是艺术家还是评论家创造了永久的价值”有什么关系呢？呵呵，不过这题挺不好写的，我也写得乱七八糟的。]

clylizeUID: 150642

恩 谢谢 提醒 我再接着改  -_-!!

unixecatUID: 2112072

Hi,clylize:

Well done, totally speaking. But your issue will be better if you modify it referring my advices.
(or it seems that I should express it like this: In the first glance, it seems to be a perfect issue, but by my further consideration, there are some flaws and defects which you should correct. :P )

BTW: It is my first time to write some advices for someone. Naturally, I have not any experience about it. 

My modify advices on this article as the following:

Fist of all, The frequency of simple expression (sentence) usage is so high. I believe that it is not good to your issue/article quality.

And secondly, using more transition words exactly will improve the coherence and logicality.

Furthermore, some similar/same expressions (for instances, word, phrase, and sentence, and so forth) appear in different paragraphs, obviously it is not a good idea. Language expression level is difficult to improve in a limited period/time. But I insist that accumulation is a key point. Reading numerous relative articles, and collection the wonderful words (especially adverbs and adjectives, and some nouns which we often meet in daily life or study), expressions, idioms /proverbs, and even including some typical examples.

Last but not least, you/we should pay attention in article’s logical framework. After all, it will play a vital role when the reader evaluates the issue/argument. It is impossible to let the issue/argument be persuasive unless you consider usually some problems such as how to express your opinion, how to organize the sentences etc.


To sum up, I hope that the discussion above will be helpful for you. As a proverb say, work makes the workman. Go on, guy. Good luck!



Unixecat(Perry Cheng)

07/27, 2005

[ Last edited by unixecat on 2005-7-27 at 21:11 ]

clylizeUID: 150642

谢谢提醒 我哭哭哭  我觉得积累不是一天两天的事情 可是我马上要火烧眉毛的上考场了
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我尽力去做