ISSUE51 高频 欢迎互拍哦~~期待狠狠狠

阿择菜UID: 2110339

Issue51  第5篇
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分4秒     551 words
从2005年6月29日11时38分到2005年6月29日12时13分
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

提纲:1.教育为个人设计确实是很有效率
       2,但是,为个人设计的教育环境很难实现,更何况人也不能仅仅在他的专业领域发挥.
       3,政府应该寻求一种平衡,尽可能的让其在合适的条件下发展.


------正文------
There is a idea that the education is designed for everyone specifically. I agree with this point. Only it is designed for individual interests, it is more effective. However, it is difficult to bring out the environment designed for everyone in the society in fact.

As different people have different ideas, disposition, talent, the society should provide the adaptable environment for everyone. Some are good at science such as math, physics, chemistry, computer and so on. Others have genius on the art or sport such as music, painting, basketball, football, baseball and so on. If a person stand in a wrong position, he would not make a good performance in his talent. The universal education mechanism is not suitable for everyone sometimes. For instance, Albert Einstein did poor performance in school when he was young. The school did not find his talent in science. While, when he left school and was back home, his mother induced him and encourage his talent in science. It is also regarded that his mother provides a specifically condition for Einstein. Thus, the famous scientist was born in final. So the government could try its best to satisfy everyone's interests. If he did good at the some aspects in school, the teacher should cultivate his mainly interests. Once a person is forced to study some knowledge, he could not do better than he would like to do his interesting things. Moreover, The energy of a person is limited , only when he focuses on a foci, he could not have enough time and energy to do another things. It is impossible for anyone to do any filed better.

Nevertheless, it is hard to bring out the condition where education is designed for everyone. Education is dependent on the finance of the government's finance, the educational plan and cost, especially for the universal educational purpose for the society. The government should face most students in the whole country. The educators still look for the best way to satisfy most students' needs as they can as possible. However, it is hard to come true. We will need amount of finance to sustain our education mechanism. The economical level in different district does not reach at all. In addition, we need more teacher to teach different student for his talent. Moreover, if we emphasize on the personal talent only, it is also not suitable to adapt the development of the society. For example, the businessmen not only need the genius conception and principle, but also need some social skill such as computer, business communication, drive, etc. So a person wants to be successful not only based on the professional field. The society needs more universal talent in general.

Therefore, the government should keep the balance between the solo education and the whole to solve the problem in reality. Only when the fish swim in water, the bird fly in sky, the nature comes to a balance situation. Taking the reins of the whole educational environment, we should place everyone in his suitable position. In that he can create new things and develop very well.

To sum up, the education is certainly more effective if it can be designed for the every different person. The government should deal with the problem in order to cultivate more talents in educational procedure.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-29 at 16:33 ]

amanda1011UID: 2106668

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

提纲:1.教育为个人设计确实是很有效率
       2,但是,为个人设计的教育环境很难实现,更何况人也不能仅仅在他的专业领域发挥.
       3,政府应该寻求一种平衡,尽可能的让其在合适的条件下发展.


------正文------
There is a[an] idea that the education is designed for everyone specifically. I agree with this point. Only it is designed for individual interests, it is more effective. However, it is difficult to bring out[不太恰当] the environment designed for everyone in the society in fact.

As different people have different ideas, disposition,[and] talent, the society should provide the adaptable environment for everyone. Some are good at science such as math, physics, chemistry, computer and so on. Others have genius on the art or sport such as music, painting, basketball, football, baseball and so on.If a person stand in a wrong position, he would not make a good performance in his talent. The universal education mechanism is not suitable for everyone sometimes. For instance, Albert Einstein did poor performance in school when he was young. The school did not find his talent in science. While, when he left school and was back home, his mother induced him and encourage his talent in science. It is also regarded that his mother provides a specifically condition for Einstein. Thus, the famous scientist was born in final. So the government could try its best to satisfy everyone's interests. If he did good at the some aspects in school, the teacher should cultivate his mainly[main] interests. Once a person is forced to study some knowledge, he could not do better than he would like to do his interesting things. Moreover, The energy of a person is limited ,[句号] only when[unless] he focuses on a foci, he could not have enough time and energy to do another things. It is impossible for anyone to do any filed better.[这段你到底是要说明为个人设计的教育是非常有效的还是要告诉人家我们应该怎么做呢？混在一起说不太好吧，个人认为单一的表达观点比较好，不要把你认为该怎么怎么做也放一块说，这些放到最后一段时候简单谈谈比较好。特别是第一句，做为TS就用should来表达，似乎不恰当。其实你要说的原因是两个：一，每个人的特长不一样，各司其职才能做的好，二，每个人精力时间有限，不可能做好所有的事，第二个观点没有展开来说，第一个观点谈了很多should怎么怎么做，我觉得太多的should，对加强论证的说服力并没有任何效果。只是你说该怎么怎么样，你说怎么样就是怎么样吗？]

Nevertheless, it is hard to bring out the condition where education is designed for everyone. Education is dependent on the finance of the government's finance[前面已经有finance], the educational plan and cost, especially for the universal educational purpose for the society. The government should face most students in the whole country. The educators still look for the best way to satisfy most students' needs as they can as possible. However, it is hard to come true. We will need amount of finance to sustain our education mechanism. The economical level in different district does[do] not reach[及物动词] at all. In addition, we need more teacher to teach different student for his[their] talent. Moreover, if we emphasize on the personal talent only, it[指什么？] is also not suitable to adapt the development of the society. For example, the businessmen not only need the genius conception and principle, but also need some social skill such as computer, business communication, drive, etc. So a person wants to be successful not only based on the professional field. The society needs more universal talent in general.
[这段比上一段好，三个原因很清楚，给我一些启发，我正在发愁我的文章不知道怎么展开观点，看来是我考虑的角度太少。]
Therefore, the government should keep the balance between the solo education and the whole to solve the problem in reality. Only when the fish swim in water, the bird fly in sky, the nature comes to a balance situation. Taking the reins of the whole educational environment, we should place everyone in his suitable position. In that he can create new things and develop very well.

To sum up, the education is certainly more effective if it can be designed for the[去掉] every different[distinctive，different后面应该不能加单数] person. The government should deal with the problem in order to cultivate more talents in educational procedure.

[给菜菜的一些意见：语言还需要提高，很多句子不地道，看着别扭，但也没法帮你一句句修改。嘿嘿，怎么大家都用爱因斯坦的例子，这道题太多人用了，考虑换一下吧！]

阿择菜UID: 2110339

辛苦了~~首先谢谢你啊~~
      关于文章的地道的英语表达我也想追求,但是毕竟不是ABC,大部分人都是中文思维然后再翻译出来吧,呵呵,反正我是这样的,所以想达到地道的英语表达除非生成地道的英文思维模式,这可不是一朝一夕所达到的,我也在努力提高哦~~

逻辑方面我比较注意,这也是ETS考察的重点..我语言能力差一点，有什么好的表达法多提哦,我会努力改进的...

还有关于should的使用问题,我觉得ISSUE就是让人发表自己的看法和主张的,我用should也是想表达我的主张和看法,希望当代政府或者负责部门能够采取我的意见,所以我用的should 比较多一点了,这样解释不知道合理不合理,

There is an idea that the education is designed for everyone specifically. I agree with this point. Only it is designed for individual interests, it is more effective. However, it is difficult to bring out[不太恰当][establish?] the environment designed for everyone in the society in fact.

As different people have different ideas, disposition,[and] talent, the society should provide the adaptable environment for everyone. Some are good at science such as math, physics, chemistry, computer and so on. Others have genius on the art or sport such as music, painting, basketball, football, baseball and so on. If a person stand in a wrong position, he would not make a good performance in his talent. The universal education mechanism is not suitable for everyone sometimes. For instance, Albert Einstein did poor performance in school when he was young. The school did not find his talent in science. While, when he left school and was back home, his mother induced him and encourage his talent in science. It is also regarded that his mother provides a specifically condition for Einstein. Thus, the famous scientist was born in final. So the government could try its best to satisfy everyone's interests. If he did good at the some aspects in school, the teacher should cultivate his mainly[main] interests. Once a person is forced to study some knowledge, he could not do better than he would like to do his interesting things..[这段你到底是要说明为个人设计的教育是非常有效的还是要告诉人家我们应该怎么做呢？混在一起说不太好吧，个人认为单一的表达观点比较好，不要把你认为该怎么怎么做也放一块说，这些放到最后一段时候简单谈谈比较好。特别是第一句，做为TS就用should来表达，似乎不恰当。其实你要说的原因是两个：一，每个人的特长不一样，各司其职才能做的好，二，每个人精力时间有限，不可能做好所有的事，第二个观点没有展开来说，第一个观点谈了很多should怎么怎么做，我觉得太多的should，对加强论证的说服力并没有任何效果。只是你说该怎么怎么样，你说怎么样就是怎么样吗？]

Nevertheless, it is hard to bring out the condition where education is designed for everyone. Education is dependent on the finance of the government[前面已经有finance][应该删], the educational plan and cost, especially for the universal educational purpose for the society. The government should face most students in the whole country. The educators still look for the best way to satisfy most students' needs as they can as possible. However, it is hard to come true. We will need amount of finance to sustain our education mechanism. The economical level in different district does[do] [level是单数应该用 does吧]not reach[及物动词][可以做不及物动词啊] at all. In addition, we need more teacher to teach different student for his[their] talent. Moreover, if we emphasize on the personal talent only, it[指什么？][it是形式主语] is also not suitable to adapt the development of the society. For example, the businessmen not only need the genius conception and principle, but also need some social skill such as computer, business communication, drive, etc. So a person wants to be successful not only based on the professional field. The society needs more universal talent in general. Moreover, The energy of a person is limited ,[句号] only when[unless] he focuses on a foci, he could not have enough time and energy to do another things. It is impossible for anyone to do any filed better[我把这个观点放在这里了，是不是好点呢？作为前边的补充论证]
[这段比上一段好，三个原因很清楚，给我一些启发，我正在发愁我的文章不知道怎么展开观点，看来是我考虑的角度太少。]
Therefore, the government should keep the balance between the solo education and the whole to solve the problem in reality. Only when the fish swim in water, the bird fly in sky, the nature comes to a balance situation. Taking the reins of the whole educational environment, we should place everyone in his suitable position. In that he can create new things and develop very well.

To sum up, the education is certainly more effective if it can be designed for the[去掉] every different[distinctive，different后面应该不能加单数] person. The government should deal with the problem in order to cultivate more talents in educational procedure.

yogurt4UID: 198389

There is a idea that the education is designed for everyone specifically. I agree with this point. Only it is designed for individual interests, it is more effective. However, it is difficult to bring out the environment designed for everyone in the society in fact.
开头太简单了。

As different people have different ideas, disposition, talent, the society should provide the adaptable environment for everyone.题目问你education是否有效，你怎么写了个should的TS？ Some are good at science such as math, physics, chemistry, computer and so on. Others have genius on the art or sport such as music, painting, basketball, football, baseball and so on. If a person stand in a wrong position, he would not make a good performance in his talent. The universal education mechanism is not suitable for everyone sometimes. For instance, Albert Einstein did poor performance in school when he was young. The school did not find his talent in science. While, when he left school and was back home, his mother induced him and encourage his talent in science. It is also regarded that his mother provides a specifically condition for Einstein. Thus, the famous scientist was born in final.这个例子和你的观点衔接的不好。 So the governmenteducation could try its best to satisfy everyone's interests. If he did good at the some aspects in school, the teacher should cultivate his mainly interests. Once a person is forced to study some knowledge, he could not do better than he would like to do his interesting things. Moreover, The energy of a person is limited , only when he focuses on a foci, he could not have enough time and energy to do another things. It is impossible for anyone to do any filed better.
到底针对大众的教育是不能顾及个人的才能，还是兴趣？or both?还有，负面的结果只有not suitable是不是谈得太宽泛了？可以在说理的时候具体的论述一下。

Nevertheless, it is hard to bring out the condition where education is designed for everyone. Education is dependent on the finance of the government's finance, the educational plan and cost, especially for the universal educational purpose for the society. The government should face most students in the whole country.why？和政府资助的关系在哪？ The educators still look for the best way to satisfy most students' needs as they can as possible. However, it is hard to come true. We will need amount of finance to sustain our education mechanism. The economical level in different district does not reach at all. In addition, we need more teacher to teach different student for his talent.这个地方的意思转的太仓促了。可以把后面的内容转成新的一段。 Moreover, if we emphasize on the personal talent only, it is also not suitable to adapt the development of the society. For example, the businessmen not only need the genius conception and principle, but also need some social skilskills such as computer, business communication, drive, etc. So a person wants to be successful not only based on the professional field. The society needs more universal talent in general.
还是这个问题：现在的教育不可能完全针对个体：是因为资金的问题，还是说社会需要全才？

Therefore, the government should keep the balance between the solo education and the whole to solve the problem in reality. Only when the fish swim in water, the bird fly in sky, the nature comes to a balance situation. Taking the reins of the whole educational environment, we should place everyone in his suitable position. In that he can create new things and develop very well.你的结尾没有概括你的全文。倒是这一段，没有引入新的观点，比较像一个正式的结尾。

To sum up, the education is certainly more effective if it can be designed for the every different person. The government should deal with the problem in order to cultivate more talents in educational procedure.
很多的语法错误，我只把看不懂的句子和最明显的给划出来了。全文的结构有点不清晰。没一段都没有很好的围绕一个中心来展开。而且，其实只有两个BODY。可以把反驳的资金和社会需要问题分成两段来写。
顺便看一下这个贴子：

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

:D

阿择菜UID: 2110339

酸奶 有空多关照一下哈~~



我会再努力