Argument45 =So What=小组第2次作业 by linyan821230

linyan821230UID: 2638813

TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."

WORDS: 410
TIME: 01:03:23
DATE: 2009-5-29 12:32:38

linyan821230UID: 2638813

重写
Since the reports that the deer populations are declining coincides with recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt, the arguer asserts that the change in climate should be responsible for the declining deer populations because the deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns. To some extent, the argument seems reasonable.

However, the reports that the deer populations has declined come from the local hunters rather than some authoritative organizations, which are not cogent evidence for the smaller deer populations. Perhaps the arctic deer are more capable of eluding the hunters than before.

Moreover, the climate change could be one of the possibilities for the declining populations of deer, if there is any. But the arguer is failing to consider other possible alternatives other than the climate factor to the decreasing number of the deer. Such alternatives may include the fact that larger percentage of deer has been killed by the hunters comparing with the previous years. It is possible that the fur of arctic deer is quite good at keeping warm and can be sold at high price, which leads the hunters to capture them. In addition, the arguer has no idea whether other kinds of animals have migrated to this region. Perhaps the new animals also feed on the plants as the deer do, or the animals may feed on the arctic deer to decrease its population. Therefore, it is reasonable to investigate the true reason for the decreasing population.

Finally, the recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt could not be the evidence for that the sea ice melt in the Canada's arctic region. Perhaps the sea ice melts in summer rather than in winter, which has no effect on the deer's age-old migration patterns. Further more, it is not logical to make the global warming trends as the reason for the decreasing deer populations because they happen in the same time.

In conclusion, the truth of the declining populations of deer needs to be investigated. And there is no cogent evidence to show the Canada's arctic sea ice has melt as a result of the failure of the deer to follow their migration patterns. In addition, it is unfair to conclude that the climate changes result in the deer's smaller population just because they happened in the same time. The arguer should do more research and collect more information in details to figure out such a problem.

zhenyi2000UID: 2640146

2# linyan821230

Since the reports that the deer populations are declining coincides with recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt, the arguer asserts that the change in climate should be responsible for the declining deer populations because the deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns. To some extent, the argument seems reasonable.

However, the reports that the deer populations has declined come from the local hunters rather than some authoritative organizations, which are not cogent evidence for the smaller deer populations. Perhaps the arctic deer are more capable of eluding (to elude)the hunters than before.

Moreover, the climate change could be one of the possibilities for the declining populations of deer, if there is any. But the arguer is failing to consider other possible alternatives other (rather)than the climate factor to the decreasing number of the deer. Such alternatives may include the fact that larger percentage of deer has been killed by the hunters comparing with the previous years. It is possible that the fur of arctic deer is quite good at keeping warm and can be sold at high price, which leads the hunters to capture them. In addition, the arguer has no idea whether other forms (别种动物用 kinds )of animals have been introduced (动物的移动用迁徙好一点 migrate)to this region. Perhaps the new animals also feed on the plants as the deer do, or the animals may feed on the arctic deer to decrease its population. Therefore, it is reasonable to investigate the true reason for the decreasing population.

Finally, the recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt could not be the evidence for that the sea ice in the Canada's arctic region has melt. （这句话读起来有点别扭 换成for the ice melt in the Canada's arctic region）Perhaps the sea ice melts in summer rather than in winter, which has no effect on the deer's age-old migration patterns. Further more, it is not logical to make the global warming trends as the reason for the decreasing deer populations because they happen in the same time.

In conclusion, the truth of the declining populations of deer needs to be investigated. And there is no cogent evidence to show the Canada's arctic sea ice has melt as a result of the failure of the deer to follow their migration patterns. In addition, it is unfair to conclude that the climate changes result in the deer's smaller population just because they happened in the same time. The arguer should do more research and collect more information in details to figure out such a problem.

总结：
1.  作者分析deer 数量的减少很清晰，文章的逻辑结构也很明了。
2.  语言也比较顺畅。

紫薇花开UID: 2461167

Since the reports that the deer populations are declining coincides with recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt, the arguer asserts that the change in climate should be responsible for the declining deer populations because the deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns. To some extent, the argument seems reasonable.

However, the reports that the deer populations has declined come from the local hunters rather than some authoritative organizations, which are not cogent evidence for the smaller deer populations. Perhaps the arctic deer are more capable of eluding the hunters than before.
这两段 我觉得应该合成一段

Moreover, the climate change could be one of the possibilities for the declining populations of deer, if there is any. But the arguer is failing to consider other possible alternatives other than the climate factor to the decreasing number of the deer. Such alternatives may include the fact that larger percentage of deer has been killed by the hunters comparing with the previous years. It is possible that the fur of arctic fur is quite good at keeping warm and can be sold at high price, which leads the hunters to capture them(increasingly). In addition, the arguer has no idea whether other forms(kinds) of animals have been introduced to this region. Perhaps the new animals also feed on the plants as the deer do, or the animals may feed on the arctic deer to decrease( decreasing)its population. Therefore, it is reasonable to investigate the true reason for the decreasing population.

Finally, the recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt could not be the evidence for that the sea ice in the Canada's arctic region has melt. Perhaps the sea ice melts in summer rather than in winter, which has no effect on the deer's age-old migration patterns. Furthermore, it is not logical to make the global warming trends as the reason for the decreasing deer populations because they happen in the same time.

In conclusion, the truth of the declining populations of deer needs to be investigated. And there is no cogent evidence to show the Canada's arctic sea ice has melt as a result of (由于，这个词是不是错了）the failure of the deer to follow their migration patterns. In addition, it is unfair to conclude that the climate changes result in the deer's smaller population just because they happened in the same time. The arguer should do more research and collect more information in details to figure out such a problem.

PS：作者的语言功底好强，在初期阶段我觉得这篇文章不错了
逻辑很清晰，

terraliUID: 2599465

the reports that the deer populations are declining coincides with recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt, the arguer asserts that the change in climate should be responsible for the declining deer populations because the deer are unable to follow their age-old migration patterns. To some extent, the argument seems reasonable.
最后一句话是主题句吧？为什么reasonable呢？同意题目推理？晕，困，如果我理解错误请多包涵

However, the reports that the deer populations has declined come from the local hunters rather than some authoritative organizations, which are not cogent evidence for the smaller deer populations. Perhaps the arctic deer are more capable of eluding the hunters than before. 反驳只是最后一句话，似乎不够有力

Moreover, the climate change could be one of the possibilities reason似乎更好一些？个人感觉。 for the declining populations of deer, if there is any. But the arguer is failing to consider other possible alternatives other than the climate factor to the decreasing number of the deer. Such alternatives may include the fact that larger percentage of deer has been killed by the hunters comparing with the previous years. It is possible that the fur of arctic fur is quite good at keeping warm and can be sold at high price, which leads the hunters to capture them. In addition, the arguer has no idea whether other forms of animals have been introduced to this region. Perhaps the new animals also feed on the plants as the deer do, or the animals may feed on the arctic deer to decrease its population. Therefore, it is reasonable to investigate the true reason for the decreasing population.
这一段的论证顺序似乎有点乱。先是反驳说the climate change could be other reason, 然后又评价题目说the arguer is failing to consider。。。接着又开始反驳。。。 是不是先评价，指出题目错误，然后提出反驳比较好一些

Finally, the recent global warming trends which have caused the sea ice to melt could not be the evidence for that the sea ice in the Canada's arctic region has melt. Perhaps the sea ice melts in summer rather than in winter, which has no effect on the deer's age-old migration patterns. Further more, it is not logical to make the global warming trends as the reason for the decreasing deer populations because they happen in the same time.
这一段指出了两个个题目错误，地区融化有其他原因和全球变暖不是数量唯一原因，但只驳斥了一个啊。还有一个只提了出来但是没有驳

In conclusion, the truth of the declining populations of deer needs to be investigated. And there is no cogent evidence to show the Canada's arctic sea ice has melt as a result of the failure of the deer to follow their migration patterns. In addition, it is unfair to conclude that the climate changes result in the deer's smaller population just because they happened in the same time. The arguer should do more research and collect more information in details to figure out such a problem.

这个题里头感觉有两个主要错误，一是猎人report不可信，一是变暖和数量下降同时发生不代表因果关系，感觉应该把这两个重点拎出来提一提，然后其他错误再点一下。不然很感觉没有主次。题目最后得出的结论也很怪，没有任何逻辑性可言，可是我想不出来到底是什么错误。。。