minami的 作文贴

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欢迎广大筒子猛烈拍砖！！

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(09.02.21 NA) Do youagree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines arethe best ways to learn about a foreign country?

    It’s no doubtful thatnewspapers and magazines play a significant role to reflect the everyday’slives of the people. We can easily buy newspaper and magazines just in thebooth by the roadside. But it would be improper to say that newspapers andmagazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.
First of all , we cannot deny the fact that newspapers did help to acquaint us of what happened inanother country, which definitely could be in the range of your reading choices.However , we are much more effected by television ,internet such more advanced equipmentto get us caught up with the latest information. For instance, once the war of Iraqbroke out ,we are more likely to know all the situation more rapidly byadvanced media rather than traditional newspapers and magazines. All you needto do is clicking the mouse, and all the information would pop into your eyesimmediately.
     Besides , aside fromthe timing problem, the fact always stays the priority of our attention. Onecan not draw the conclusion the news conveyed by newspapers and magazines isconfirmed to be one hundred percent accurate. More often than that , theinformation described by so-called professional person actually are not alwayswhat we regarded as positive. What we should do and which I prefer is to travelto the foreign country in person and form your own expression of the country thatyou interested.
     In addition, theamount of distribution is limited. Not all people can get a chance to catchsight of the newspapers and magazines. And knowledge is all about distributingthe source to everybody. It appears not fair for us to have limited occasion tohave access to the newspapers and magazines. The less the information wereceive , the less we know about the country. To be more wise, we totally havethe right to choose various ways to get familiar with another country.
      Fromwhat has been discussed above, I therefore reinforce my standpoint to choosemore ways as the final choice for learning about a foreign country.

FatalerrorUID: 2798581

8.26 批注 by Fatalerror

(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country?


It’s no doubtful (doubt) that newspapers and magazines play a significant role to reflect the everyday’s lives of the people (people’s daily life也许更简洁). We can easily buy newspapers and magazines just in the booth by the roadside (用everywhere也许更能表达便捷之意
We can easily buy newspapers and magazines everywhere, such as the booth by the roadside.). But it would be improper to say that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country.

First of all, we cannot deny the fact that newspapers did help to acquaint us of (这个介词也许应该用with 不确定) what happened in another (改写很好 但是another出现的有点突兀 没有参照 如果不改写 直接用foreign country也许更准确) country, which definitely could be in the range of your reading choices. However, we are much more effected by television, internet such more advanced equipment to get us caught up with the latest information. (没太看懂 个人观点 However, TV, Internet and many other new Medias convey the information much more effectively.) For instance, once the war of Iraq broke out, we are more likely to know all the situation (situations) more rapidly by advanced media rather than traditional newspapers and magazines. All you need to do is clicking the mouse, and all the information would pop into your eyes (很生动 但不确定是否准确 保守点可以说pop up in front of you) immediately. (本段后两句 需要衔接 前一句重点应该在rapid上 而后一句貌似重点在convenient上 TV&Internet之所以rapid是因为其没有印刷物流等环节 可以实现及时现场播报 当然我们也可以比较一下convenient 只要有一只手机 在世界上任何一个信号覆盖的角落 我们都可以轻松获取最时效的信息)


Besides, aside from the timing problem, the fact always stays the priority of our attention. One can not draw the conclusion the news conveyed by newspapers and magazines is confirmed to be one hundred percent accurate. More often than that, the information described by so-called professional person actually are not always what we regarded as positive. What we should do and which I prefer is to travel to the foreign country in person and form your own expression of the country that you interested (个人观点 the country in which you are interested 作动词时 interest表示使……感兴趣 如the country interests me 故这里应该用被动).

In addition, the amount of distribution is limited. Not all people can get a chance to catch sight of the newspapers and magazines. And knowledge is all about distributing the source to everybody. It appears not fair for us to have limited occasion to have access to the newspapers and magazines. The less the information we receive, the less we know about the country. To be more wise (wise的比较级是wiser), we totally have the right to choose various ways to get familiar with another country.


From what has been discussed above, I therefore reinforce my standpoint to choose more ways as the final choice (个人观点 呼应一下前文提到的traditional/new media 可能更清晰my standpoint that to consolidate the traditional media and new media is a better way) for learning about a foreign country.

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3# skyice1987 你说的对 我很多细节问题 都没有注意 谢谢诶

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4# Fatalerror 你的评阅让我受益匪浅 看了你的文章 严谨之风跃然纸上 如此值得学习！！

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8.28 作业 by minami

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09.05.30NA  Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children(ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition tomath, science, history and language.

One thing I can’t agree any more, thatis, many things are destined to be like what it is like since you are young. Andmany good habits are developed at that period. Besides math, science ,historyand language, art and music display a significant role in our life. Therefore Ihold the opinion that art and music are necessary curriculum for younger schoolchildren to study.

First of all, studying art and music definitelycreates more colors to young children’s life when they grow up. It’s reportedthat most grown-up people they feel boring after everyday’s work and have thefeeling of regretting since without having any access to the art and musiccurriculum when they are young. Without any doubt, having a relax life wouldwhat everybody wants. But with life pace moving so rapidly, we have no choicebut to work more hardly. And the time we spend with our family members and onceintimate friends are harshly reduced. Watching boring TV shows, sitting therelike a potato coach may not be a wiser choice. For me, viewing art andlistening to music are always wonderful way to relax. I know the comprehensivemeaning behind the music and art since I have a opportunity to get to know themwhen I was young. The every tune in the music and the graceful stroke instantlycalm me down and relieve me from the whole day’s heavy study and work.

Furthermore, learning art and musicaffect us in a various ways, helping us to deliberate problems.
Constantly, the disappearance of mind sourcechallenge can be beaten by listening music and appreciating a piece of paintingfor a while. Many successful person consider music and art as part of theiruseful tool to consider problems.
Musicand art enjoying is an excellent way to spark interest and promoteunderstanding between people. Yangning, a successful Chinese businessman,establishing KTV industry all over china , also obsessed in music and oncesaid
”music is part of my life and itdrives me forward”. Thus it can be seen that music and art is an importantoutlet to express our emotions.

In addition, art and music is anotherof positive index to identify what you really interested in. If a child seekout that he or she is genius of art and music , it would be how wonderful thechild find that so early.
Preparationjob can be established from a early stage and promisingly the kid may become agreat master in the field. It is hard to imagine that our world is full ofscientist but none is dealing a job relating music and art. Just as the phenomenonthat everyone is learning science and nobody is enjoying the music and art.

In conclusion , in order to possess aall-round development capability, I believe that studying art and music isnothing but helpful to the younger children.

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09.06.12NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students shouldnot take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

Admittedly, taking part-time jobs wouldtake certain part of our time and possibly more or less distract us from ourstudy task to some extent.
Yet it can beovercome by ourselves through facing up to the challenge persistently andarranging our time properly.

Initially, part-time jobs, just as itsname implies, take up the part time of your everyday life unlike the usual workand study assignment. It greatly requires greatly your capability to controlyour time appropriately, meaning finishing all your assignment in time inaddition to be engaged in your part-time job. At the same time it is true tosay this ability needed do a lot of benefit to your future career.
Based on a survey on university students, amajority of them who have been participated in part-time job consider it an irreplaceableopportunity to challenge themselves and through the unique experience they arebecoming to realize the preciousness of time and get to handle the matter ofwhat puts on the agenda the first. Consequently instead of wasting time, weactually do much more things in the definite time.

Besides, economically speaking, aswell as full-time job, the money earned by our hard-working will help to takecare of our expense needed to continue our life. Take the students who studyabroad for example. With the extremely heavy financial burden, part-time job definitelyrelieve the pressure from their parents. And at the same time it could beargued that whether the main mission of these students is to earn money orsimply study. An important point sometimes overlooked is that part-time jobwould be a crucial way to know the real outside world. It is a kind of learningtoo. And knowledge do not just appear on the paper.

In addition, though part-time job, wefortunately gain some experience which can’t be learnt on class. Strictlyspeaking, students are more likely to live in a ivory tower if they have nocontact with the outside world. Indeed, it may be argued that what if you finda useless and time-consuming part-time job?
More often than that, whether or not apart-time job is useful for a student’s future depends on the type of jobchosen. Being able to seek for a job that suits you is also a significantcapacity to get you more specialized. Luqiuluwei, a successful journalist inHONGKONG TV station who have been abroad to study , once said ”You will feelregret without any part-time job experience during your life”
.

From what has been discussed above,taking a part-time job that suit you would be a valuable experience that worthyour try.

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09.05.30NA  Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children(ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition tomath, science, history and language.One thing I can’t agree any more, that is, many things are destined to be like what it is like since you are young. And many good habits are developed at that period. Besides math, science ,history and language, art and music display a significant role in our life. Therefore I hold the opinion that art and music are necessary curriculum for younger school children to study.
First of all, studying art and music definitely creates more colors to young children’s life when they grow up. It’s reportedthat most grown-up people they feel boring after everyday’s work and have thefeeling of regretting since without having any access to the art and music curriculum when they are young. Without any doubt, having a relaxed life would be what everybody wants. But with life pace moving so rapidly, we have no choice but to work more hardly. And the time we spend with our family members and onceintimate friends are harshly reduced. Watching boring TV shows, sitting therelike a potato coach may not be a wiser choice. For me, viewing art andlistening to music are always wonderful way to relax. I know the comprehensivemeaning behind the music and art since I have a opportunity to get to know themwhen I was young. The every tune in the music and the graceful stroke instantly calm me down and relieve me from the whole day’s heavy study and work.(这一段明显过长，可以删一些，想写成年那些经验太繁琐，可以精炼些)
Furthermore, learning art and musicaffect us in a various ways, helping us to deliberate problems.Constantly, the disappearance of mind sourcechallenge can be beaten by listening music and appreciating a piece of paintingfor a while. Many successful person consider music and art as part of theiruseful tool to consider problems.
Music  and art enjoying is an excellent way to spark interest and promote understanding between people. Yangning, a successful Chinese businessman,establishing KTV industry all over china , also obsessed in music and once said. ”music is part of my life and it drives me forward”. Thus it can be seen that music and art is an importantoutlet to express our emotions.
In addition, art and music is another of ？positive index to identify what you really interested in. If a child seekout tht he or she is genius of art and music , it would be how wonderful（lucky更合适吧） thechild find that so early.
Preparation job can be established from a early stage and promisingly the kid may become a great master in the field. It is hard to imagine that our world is full of scientist but none is dealing a job relating music and art. Just as the phenomenon that everyone is learning science and nobody is enjoying the music and art.
In conclusion , in order to possess a all-round development capability, I believe that studying art and music is nothing but helpful to the younger children.

内容不错哦。总体字数太多了，还有托福真的要分5段吗，这样觉得有些乱，我觉得没有这个必要。毕竟不是中国考试……

lucia85524UID: 2166143

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刚改好，直接上附件了啊！

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水平有限，见谅
9.2 by minami.doc (24 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2010-9-4 17:09:19 上传

下载次数: 1

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不好意思，这里不知道怎么回事，不让我加附件了。呵呵，我就直接粘贴了

09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.


One thing I can’t agree any more, that is, many things are destined to be like what it is like since you are young. And many good habits are developed at that period. Besides math, science ,history and language, art and music display a significant role in our life. Therefore I hold the opinion that art and music are necessary curriculum for younger school children to study.

First of all, studying art and music definitely creates more colors to young children’s life when they grow up. It’s reported that most grown-up people they feel boring after everyday’s work and have the feeling of regretting since without having any access（because of lack of access） to the art and music curriculum when they are young. Without any doubt, having a relax life would （be）what everybody wants. But with life pace moving so rapidly, we have no choice but to work more hardly. And the time we spend with our family members and once intimate friends are (is) harshly reduced. (不管是看电视、还是艺术欣赏并没有解决time reduce 的问题，那么这句话放这儿，我就感觉有点不起作用)Watching boring TV shows, sitting there like a potato coach may not be a wiser（wise） choice. For me, viewing art and listening to music are always wonderful ways to relax. I know the comprehensive meaning behind the music and art since I have an opportunity to get to know them when I was young. The every tune in the music and the graceful stroke instantly calm me down and relieve me from the whole day’s heavy study and work.

Furthermore, learning art and music affects us in (a) various ways, helping us to deliberate problems.
Constantly, the disappearance of mind source challenge(心动力？呵呵这个词组有意思) can be beaten by listening music and appreciating a piece of painting for a while. Many successful person consider music and art as part of their useful tool to consider problems.
Music and art enjoying is an excellent way to spark interest and promote understanding between people. Yangning, a successful Chinese businessman, establishing KTV industry all over china, also obsessed in music and once said
”music is part of my life and it drives me forward”. Thus it can be seen that music and art is an important outlet to express our emotions.
呵呵，我也会写这样的段落，可是我有时候担心这样是叫偏题呢，还是叫蓄势铺垫？

In addition, art and music is another （of） positive index to identify what you really interest in. If a child seeks out that he or she is genius of art and music, it would be how wonderful the child find that so early.( how wonderful在这了，不用倒装，就别扭。
Preparation job can be established from an early stage and promisingly the kid may become a great master in the field. It is hard to imagine that our world is full of scientists but none is dealing a job relating to music and art. (the same goes to ) Just as the phenomenon that everyone is learning science and nobody is enjoying the music and art.

In conclusion , in order to possess a all-round development capability, I believe that studying art and music is nothing but helpful to the younger children.

BY MINAMI

8.31


我审题碰到一个障碍，怎么就感觉题目让我谈谈art music
和 science, language, history 之间的差异。。我就很为难了。。单独地二者比较还好，这里好多对象，我就不知道怎么处理了。。哈哈，，交流下。。

你的文章很成熟了，有些小错误，逻辑海可以进一步提高。

May you success !!!


9# 185726666

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09.08.01NA  Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people(especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths andaccomplishments, you will never get successful in life.


Once one’s strengths andaccomplishments acknowledged by other people, especially influential people andthe employers, one have the confidence to open a champagne,
pleasantly toast to the bright future and thenschedule a satisfied blueprint. Basically speaking, making sure one known as atrustworthy and competent person is a crucial element to gain the success.

Initially, needless to say, awareness and acknowledgement help toestablish self-confidence and may effectively bring out one’s potential to playto the fullest. Studies have shown that people received recognition andreliance from other people possess much more positive attitude towards life andbetter qualified the assignment in work and study.
Otherwise, say one person after finishing thesame workload, all he/she receives is just criticism. And it’s without doubtthe irreplaceable significance of other people’s praise and recognition.

Furthermore, other people are apt to support one since one obtain thetrust and acknowledgement from them, which to some extent benefits one’s futurecareer. Take Karl Marx for example, after he and his family moved to London,they lived in extreme poverty ,however it appeared a turning point since heknown his lifelong friend-Engels. With the support of Engels both economicallyand spiritually, Marx accomplished the masterpiece Capital together withEngels. How can we say success is simple without others’ support and encourages.

Still it can be argued recognition and acknowledgement is not the onlyelement to succeed. One’s own effort plays the essential part to pave the wayto success after all. In other words, how we you anticipate others to knowabout your strength and accomplishment even without owning them. Again, it istrue to say that what you get is what you deserve.

Hence, it can conclude if you truly wantto get the pleasure of success, all you need to do is not just simply about ourpeople’s awareness, your persistent and struggle play the most part.