12.8 书还是电视 请改

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

12.8 printed book have had greater effects on society than television has？

A heated debate pertaining the benefit of printed books is much better than that of television is under way. In my perspective, the beneficial effects of television preponderate over that of printed book. Therefore, I disagree with the statement that published book has much deeper influence on society than television does.

To begin with, it is undeniable that television is a media which will not cause more environmental deleterious effect than the paper book does. From a recent survey, we find that a majority of books will not be read for more than ten times. It is a pervading phenomenon that we may sell the unutilized books to the rubbish collection .Meanwhile, it is the book printing factories that drain sewage attributing to the river contamination. Whereas television won't be involved in this case. In contrast, more and more clean power are applied in the television industry to make this setting

Furthermore, it is undisputable that television will bring us more vivid illustration about the knowledge than book does. Take a geographic topic for instance. If I were given a choice, I would like to choose watch discovery channel, a famous TV program for planet expedition, rather than buy a book about geographic discovery with monotone depiction. it’s obviously to find that from TV program, we can get more direct impression on the unique landscape, the exotic plants and protected wildlife in our planet. Indeed, all the benefit of printed book can not be compared with television, which bring us a diverse custom and culture.

Judging from the evidence I mentioned above, it is the television , although not as flexible as printed book which can be taken in pocket, that poses more gainful effect than print book in our day-to-day life. It is not exaggerate to say that more and more merits will be realized by television, a prevailing media, and have unpredictable effects on individuals and society.

请砸! 写的少了这次,论据没怎么展开说.

shiwei83UID: 2680950

A heated debate pertaining the benefit of printed books is much better than that of television is under way. In my perspective, the beneficial effects of television preponderate over that of printed book. Therefore, I disagree with the statement that published book has much deeper influence on society than television does.（开头的模板用得不错）
To begin with, it is undeniable that television is a media which will not cause more environmental deleterious effect than the paper book does. From a recent survey, we find that a majority of books will not be read for more than ten times. It is a pervading phenomenon that we may sell the unutilized books to the rubbish collection（垃圾回收是recycling） .Meanwhile, it is the book printing factories that drain sewage attributing to the river contamination. Whereas television won't be involved in this case. In contrast, more and more clean power are applied in the television industry to make this setting （environmental Friendly）.
Furthermore, it is undisputable that television will bring us more vivid illustration about the knowledge than book does. Take a geographic topic for instance. If I were given a choice, I would like to choose watch discovery channel, a famous TV program for planet expedition, rather than buy a book about geographic discovery with monotone depiction. it’s obviously to find that from TV program, we can get more direct impression on the unique landscape, the exotic plants and protected wildlife in our planet. Indeed, all the benefit of printed book can not be compared with television, which bring us a diverse custom and culture.
Judging from the evidence I mentioned above, it is the television , although not as flexible as printed book which can be taken in pocket, that poses more gainful effect than print book in our day-to-day life. It is not exaggerate to say that more and more merits will be realized by television, a prevailing media, and have unpredictable effects on individuals and society.
文章写得不错，其实还是和上篇的问题一样，最好能写三个论点，这样会使论证更充实。如果只写两个论点，那么你的论证就还需要再加强，才能使文章更有说服力。以上是我个人看法，水平有限，仅供参考。

林霄麟UID: 2645553

A heated debate pertaining[这个词是形容词后面不能加句子，这里我想用that就好了吧，同位语就可以了] the benefit of printed books is much better than that of television is under way. In my perspective, the beneficial effects of television preponderate over that of printed book. Therefore, I disagree with[这里有点重复] the statement that published book has much deeper influence on society than television does.

To begin with, it is undeniable that television is a media which will not cause more environmental deleterious effect than the paper book does.[有点绕，个人觉得直接点好] From a recent survey, we find that a majority of books will not be read for more than ten times. It is a pervading phenomenon that we may sell the unutilized books to the rubbish collection .Meanwhile, it is the book printing factories that drain sewage attributing to the river contamination. Whereas television won't be involved in this case. In contrast, more and more clean power are[is] applied in the television industry to make this[these] setting.

Furthermore, it is undisputable that television will bring us more vivid illustrations about the knowledge than book does. Take a geographic topic for instance. If I were given a choice, I would like to choose watch discovery channel, a famous TV program for planet expedition, rather than buy a book about geographic discovery with monotone depiction.[好神奇，我们想到了相同的例子呢，哈哈] it’s obviously to find that from TV program, we can get more direct impression on the unique landscape, the exotic plants and protected wildlife in our planet. Indeed, all the benefits of printed book can not be compared with television, which bring us a diverse custom and culture.[这个总结有点广了，前文并没有提及风俗习惯]

Judging from the evidence I mentioned above, it is the television , although not as flexible as printed book which can be taken in pocket, that poses more gainful effect than print book in our day-to-day life. It is not exaggerate to say that more and more merits will be realized by television, a prevailing media, and have unpredictable effects on individuals and society.

林霄麟UID: 2645553

lz词汇很强大，注意细节，加油~

还我用户名UID: 2733880

A heated debate pertaining the benefit of printed books is much better than that of television is under way. In my perspective, the beneficial effects of television preponderate over that of printed book. Therefore, I disagree with the statement that published book has much deeper influence on society than television does. [than does television]

To begin with, it is undeniable that television is a media which will not cause more environmental deleterious effect than the paper book does. From a recent survey, we find that a majority of books will not be read for more than ten times. It is a pervading phenomenon that we may sell the unutilized books to the rubbish collection[额...这一句好像有点绝对，不是特别有论证的理性。] .Meanwhile, it is the book printing factories [这个也有点绝对，可以说书籍印刷是造成树木过度砍伐的一大原因]that drain sewage attributing to the river contamination. Whereas television won't be involved in this case. In contrast, more and more clean power are applied in the television industry to make this setting

Furthermore, it is undisputable that television will bring us more vivid illustration about the knowledge than book does. Take a geographic topic for instance. If I were given a choice, I would like to choose watch discovery channel, a famous TV program for planet expedition, rather than buy[buying] a book about geographic discovery with monotone depiction. it’s obviously to find that from TV program, we can get more direct impression on the unique landscape, the exotic plants and protected wildlife in our planet. Indeed, all the benefits of printed book can not be compared with television, which bring us a diverse customs and culture.

Judging from the evidences I mentioned above, it is the television , although not as flexible as printed book which can be taken in pocket, that poses more gainful effect than printed book in our day-to-day life. It is not exaggerate[exaggeration] to say that more and more merits will be realized by television, a prevailing media, and have unpredictable effects on individuals and society.

总的问题：
1.最好还是以经典5段式来写。
2.一些小语法错误还需要避免，native speaker会觉得这些地方很扎眼。
3.论据不是特别充分，读下来印象不深刻。

个人浅见，还请见谅。

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

It is not exaggerated. to say that ...............

多谢