[IBT——独立写作小组]zunge作文贴

zungeUID: 2660136

02楼 20100731 090221NA
05楼 20100803 090227NA

zungeUID: 2660136

20100731
(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country？

229 words.  30 min [not limited]

To study a foreign country, one should both focus on its contemporary lives and cultural characters. Thus in my opinion, reading newspapers and magazines might not be the best way to achieve this goal.

Mass media such as newspapers and magazines provide daily information and editorials for the readers. Because of the possible restrictions such as word count or area of interest, those media might present biased or partial information. For example, the dressing styles described in some fashion magazines might not be well accepted in that country. And the attract readers, newspapers might also publish news describing un-mainstream people or events.

In addition, cultural difference might also form an obstacle to undermine the character of a country through those media. For example, some articles discussing about newly published novel may be read as positive opinion by western readers. However, the main idea of the author might be expressed in polite expressions, which may attract the attention of local readers.

And there might be few long-term topics or affairs common sense mentioned in such media. One may take those countries with historical relics as an example. The meanings of those relics and historical knowledge might be rarely seen in daily media. And the newspapers and magazines keep focus on hot spots and changes of the society, not common things happened locally. Thus, these media provide limited knowledge for us.

tautou-fanUID: 2510013

20100731! ?. F" g  I; k% Z  M- |8 V' \" z; ~# D
(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country？, n2 \( x1 r; ?2 `' U
# C$ j  b- v' B0 j8 K
229 words.  30 min [not limited]

To study a foreign country, one should both focus on its contemporary lives and cultural characters. Thus in my opinion, reading newspapers and magazines might not be the best way to achieve this goal." d5 z" u7 O  f" K: s! Q

Mass media such as newspapers and magazines provide daily information and editorials for the readers. Because of the possible restrictions such as word count or area of interest, those media might present biased or partial information. For example, the dressing styles described in some fashion magazines might not be well accepted in that country这里感觉别扭你说时尚杂志介绍的着装风格不一定被那个国家接受。这里不应该是杂志被某foreigncountry接受，而应是本国杂志介绍的foreign country的着装风格并不一定真实的那个foreign country的风格. And the attract readers, newspapers might also publish news describing un-mainstream people or events.+ E6 n: T5 J1 e' q% |  y! @8 b
' H: o+ Q4 Z  b
In addition, cultural differences might also form an obstacle to undermine the character of a country through those media此句不顺啊，建议你分开来讲，断下句，我想了好久，实在是不能很好理解. For example, some articles discussing about newly published novel may be read as positive opinion by western readers. However, the main idea of the author might be expressed in polite expressions, which may attract the attention of local readers. 此句前面说西方读者对小说观点积极，后面讲说作者表达含蓄，可能会吸引当地读者。我不太理解，真的想不出怎么改，你能告诉我你想表达什么嘛。, \+ i: t* X& W; i$ ]

And there might be few long-term topics or affairs common sense mentioned in such media. One may take those countries with historical relics as an example. The meanings of those relics and historical knowledge might be rarely seen in daily media. And the newspapers and magazines keep focus on hot spots and changes of the society, not common things happened locally. Thus, these media provide limited knowledge for us.这段感觉结的有点仓促（其实我的最后一段也是，推出了个新观点就没了。。。）


因为我没看懂你第二个观点，所以对文章的递进有点迷糊，
你可以再看看你第二个观点，我写的我的疑问，
因为我水平有限所以不太理解，仅供参考

然后我再提个小建议，就是以后改作文请给具体的指出一下，
你给我的和JJOOY的评价都像综述，哈哈，我看了很迷茫，找不到具体的问题所在，
希望以后能细心的给我们改一下，我觉得给别人细细评点的过程也是自己的一种进步

jjooyyUID: 2704028

To study a foreign country, one should both focus on its contemporary lives and cultural characters. Thus in my opinion, reading newspapers and magazines might not be the best way to achieve this goal.

Mass media such as newspapers and magazines provide daily information and editorials for the readers. Because of the possible restrictions such as word count(?) or area of interest（顺序错了）, those media might present biased or partial information. For example, the dressing styles described in some fashion magazines might not be well accepted in that country. And the attract readers, newspapers might also publish news describing un-mainstream people or events.(so what?)

2 O5 Z* _2 `9 r8
8 g+ v7 g/ f- [$ y
In addition, cultural difference might also form an obstacle to undermine the character of a country through those media. For example, some articles discussing about newly published novels may be read as positive opinion by western readers. However, the main idea of the author might be expressed in polite expressions, which may attract the attention of local readers.这段不懂下面的证明在讲什么 3 C4 L# P+ D$ R2 c; B+ N

And there might be few long-term topics or affairs common sense（？？） mentioned in such media. One may take those countries with historical relics as an example. The meanings of those relics and historical knowledge might be rarely seen in daily media. And the newspapers and magazines keep focus on hot spots and changes of the society, not common things happened locally. Thus, these media provide limited knowledge for us.

恩 你的思路很不错 正在我思考怎么样写反面的时候给了我很大的指导
行文也不错，看起来总体算是比较流畅的
不知道你什么时候考试，如果不是最近的话 建议花点时间 不计时 写长点 每段除了例子总要有说明论证的吧
文章需要放到word里面改一下语法，大家都省力~

zungeUID: 2660136

20100803 (09.02.27NA)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

343 words, 30 min

Sufficient salary is crucial for one’s financial situation, while leisuring opportunities also ensure the health and happiness of people. Thus in my opinion, one should not judge the value of jobs by focusing on either salary or vacation time without overall balancing.

Low salary may reduce ones’ living standard and disable choices in their lives. For people who suffer from tough financial situation, even daily costs and insurance payments might not be paid without difficulties. If a couple could not afford house rent and children expenses with their salaries, they might probably miss lots of chances to enjoy their better lives. For example, they might seek for additional work in their spare time to ensure their financial support. And thus the vacation time might lost its meaning to the couple.

For the other aspect, limited vacation time may cause health problems physically or psycologically. Currently many firms provides high salary jobs because the job might be in high pressure or need hard working. Thus, in some cases, one might need to sacrifice their leisure time to get more payments. One may take the computer engineering as an example. In some of software companies, developers normally work from 9:00AM till about 10:00PM in China, if the managers would like their people to catch up with the schedule. These enginners enjoy high salaries by sacrificing their spare time. Many of them are declared in bad health situation because of working late in long-term. Money might be less important if one’s health is badly influenced.

Thus, one should maintain a balance between the two aspects, salary and vacation time. Both one’s financial and health situations should be respected. According to the actual capacity and actual situation, one may make better choice among the job opportunities. For people who are pressure-proof, highly paid jobs with hard working might be better choice, and for people who love enjoying spare time of their lives without financial problem, jobs with more vacation opportunites might be more acceptable. With the careful balancing, one may have better comparison of those different jobs.

yezi2010UID: 2722638

zunge同学，你的作文已经批改好了，附件传给你，呵呵！记得抽空帮我也改一下啊，咱们组另一个人好像没有交作业吧~~~

darkathrunUID: 2813505

改好，请LZ查收~很好的作文，继续加油吧