E的作文贴!❤

greenegeUID：2886404

（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

    Nowadays, because of the progressive development in the society, variations are apeeared in every second. Young people face to the various intriguing challenges and their decisions are uasually easy to be affected by the exterior factors. From my point of view, as for job, these young people should not be influenced and change it continuously before they take a long term career mainly for 3 reasons.
First of all, when people started a new job, there must be a certain period of time for them to adpat to it. For instance, I used to jackaroo in a silk commercial company in my summer holiday. At the biginning of the internship, nothing could be accomplished by me. Two months could only let me be familiar with the departments and process of operating tasks. I was told by my boss that it was necessary for a person as me study for 3months in the company at the biginning. Therefore, if the adapation needs for 3months, young people must demand more than half years to begin to get their true experience. In this case, if their jobs change continuously, each of them will become a person who had lots of tryings without earning valuable experiences.
    Additionally, whenyoung people apply for a job, they are always sincere during the interviewing. They gain the job by their own effort and the company offers them promissory working environment and payment. Some business also train new workers since those company has a strategy in management. Hence, as yong people work in a company, they not only need to be responsible for themselves but also for others. Changing a job is not a personal decision owing to a series of alteration which will be led by it. For example, the person who resigns the job need to hand over the work to his or her colleague. As for the colleague, the pressure suddenly increases.As for the manager, he or she might need to change their schedule and restart to plan it.
    Last but not the least, different jobs differ the networking. In order to achieve the goals, sometimes the assistant of his or her friends is obligatory. If the job is changed, there must be obstacles apeared in the initial woking. Moreover, because of the new job, people perhaps have no time to contact with some friends who are out of a certain society. In this situation, they will gradually lose treasured friendship.
    All in all, young people should take a long term career as the first step in their life in persuit of sureness.



谢谢大家的修改和指证呐!

estopUID：2864494

Nowadays, because of the progressive development in the society, variations are apeeared(appeared) in every second. Young people face to the various intriguing challenges and their decisions are usually easy to be affected by the exterior factors. From my point of view, as for job, these young people should not be influenced and change it continuously before they take a long term career mainly for 3 reasons.5 q9 [2 u% l3 V9 H  U
First of all, when people started a new job, there must be a certain period of time for them to adpat to it. For instance, I used to jackaroo(be a jackaroo) in a silk commercial company in my summer holiday. At the beginning of the internship, nothing could be accomplished by me. Two months could only let me be familiar with the departments and process of operating tasks. I was told by my boss that it was necessary for a person as me study for 3months in the company at the beginning. Therefore, if the adapation needs for 3months(有点太中式了，建议it takes 3 months for the adaptation), young people must demand more than half an year to begin to get their true experience(practical experience). In this case, if their jobs change continuously, each of them will become a person who had lots of tryings（trying没有名次词性，try就有名次词性，或者用attempts） without earning valuable experience.工作的变化用continuously感觉不是很合适，最好用frequently.这段观点不错，主要讲的频繁换工作不能获取足够的经验。
Additionally, when young people apply for a job, they are always sincere during the interviewing.（when，during重复了） They gain the job by their own effort and the company offers them promissory working environment and payment. Some businesses also train new workers since those companies have strategies in management. Hence, as young people work in a company, they not only need to be responsible for themselves but also for others. Changing a job is not a personal decision owing to a series of alteration which will be led by it. For example, the person who resigns the job is required to hand over the work to his or her colleague. As for the colleague, the pressure suddenly increases. As for a manager, he or she might need to change their schedule and restart to plan it.这段具体想说什么？没看出来。
    Last but not the least, different jobs differ the networking.（这句话什么意思？） In order to achieve the goals, sometimes the assistant of his or her friends is obligatory. If the job is changed, there must be obstacles appeared in the initial working. Moreover, because of the new job, people perhaps have no time to contact with some friends who are out of a certain society. In this situation, they will gradually lose treasured friendship.（Moreover后面的内容为什么）
    All in all,（很少见人用，感觉有点口语化） young people should take a long term career as the first step in their life in persuit of sureness.（最后一句也有点问题，不知道你想表达什么，persuit是什么?）

文章第一部分论述的还可以，之后就乱了，逻辑不够清晰。主要是很多推理解释的不够清楚。很多表达感觉太中式英语了，直译。建议看看别人的作文，都用了哪些句式。

greenegeUID：2886404

2# estop


谢谢批改呐!!!
我会吸取教训的.~!
in persuit of 是追求...的意思...

estopUID：2864494

应该是in pursuit of
有些拼写错误我在word里红色改的，这里显示不出来，还是要多注意

stoptalkingUID：2807919

lz，我824的独立作文和你是一组的，我想问一下这是不是你824的作业？

雅典城的包子UID：2742653

8.24作业批改by包子
个人意见 呵呵~

greenegeUID：2886404

5# stoptalking


是的是的恩!

stoptalkingUID：2807919

水平有限，如果楼主要回复，可以到我的作文帖子里说，那样不容易漏掉~

makeithappenUID：2585223

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

Nowadays, because of the progressive development in the society, variations are apeeared in every second. Young people face to the various intriguing challenges and their decisions are uasually usually easy to be affected by the exterior factors. From my point of view, as for job, these young people should not be influenced and change it continuously before they take a long term career mainly for 3 reasons.If you can excerpt the 3 reason would be better
First of all, when people started a new job, there must be a certain period of time for them to adpat adapt to it. For instance, I used to jackaroo? in a silk commercial company in my summer holiday. At the biginning of the internship, nothing could be accomplished by me. Two months could only let me be familiar with the departments and process of operating tasks. I was told by my boss that it was necessary for a person as me study for 3months in the company at the biginning. Therefore, if the adapation needs for 3months, young people must demand more than half years to begin to get their true experience. In this case, if their jobs change continuouslyand rapidly, each of them will become a person who had lots of tryings without earning valuable experiences.
    Additionally, when young people apply for a job, they are always sincere during the interviewing.interview They gain the job by their own effort and the company offers them promissory working environment and payment. Some business also train new workers since those company has a strategy in management. Hence, as yong people work in a company, they not only need to be responsible for themselves but also for others. Changing a job is not a personal decision owing to a series of alteration which will be led by it. For example, the person who resigns the job need to hand over the work to his or her colleague. As for the colleague, the pressure suddenly increases.As for the manager, he or she might need to change their schedule and restart to plan it..
    Last but not the least, different jobs differ the networking. In order to achieve the goals, sometimes the assistant of his or her friends is obligatory. If the job is changed, there must be obstacles apeared in the initial woking.working Moreover, because of the new job, people perhaps have no time to contact with some friends who are out of a certain society. In this situation, they will gradually lose treasured friendship.
All in all, young people should take a long term career as the first step in their life in persuitpursuit of sureness.

1. Please correct your misspell in Word!!!! It is essential to your development of Writing.
2. Using more complicated word would be helpful to achieve higher score
3. Your example is good!

missmumuxiUID：2710337

愚见愚见