作文贴by 米爆爆（小米+大米）

米爆爆UID: 2892134

parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.%

Nowaday, the problem that whether parents should help determined the future of their children has been discussed severely. Most of us believe that the way which is chosen by parents for they children is smoother than that chosen by children. However, as far as I am concerned, I strongly hold the opinoin that the children should be allow to make their own choices. I will reason and provide concrete evidence to support my viewpoint as follows.
Consider Nate, one of the main charater of GOSSIP GIRL, as an example. His grandfather force him to be a politician. Although reluctant he is, he has no way to against. What will be the consequence of this situation. Obviously he has to step in the road of policy and there will be a gap between his grafather and him. I do not mean to say this is a bad way that Nate’s grafather chooce for him but I just point out not all the children like the way that their parents choose for them. If the parents insist to determine the future of their children. It may destroy the relationship of the parents and children.
Besides, another reason is that children will learn a lot if they can determine their future. Because of manyobstacles such as the problem of work, relationship and ect, it is deemed to be a hard way for children if they determine their future. Nonetheless, when we change the perspective, we will find out that the obstacles are not really obstacles but the key to success. Children who can deal with all the problem by themselives will be enough plucky and independent. Throught the hardness, what they learn is not benifited a moment to them but whole life.
In conclusion, deapite there are some advantages for parents to chose the future for their children, we can easily find out which way is better for children. The advantages not only for a moment but the whole life.

米爆爆UID: 2892134

9.7 综合。

The lecture discusses the disadvantages of the term work while the raeding, in contrast,  held a different view.
First of all, the professer point out  that some of the members do not contribute a lot in the team. Even though someone work hard in the team work, what s/he gain as same as the other menbers of team. So that the members’ attitudes in the team are opposited to the reading predict.
Futhermore the speaker in the lecture against the point made in the article that the group can work more quickly in response to the workby making the point that it takes so long to achieve the consencus.
Finally, the speaker states that in the team there are one or two cord people who dicide whether the solution of the problem is working.. It will increase the risk rather than  made by the individual. Unlike described in the article, the speaker makes a different view that the leader of the team igores others suggestion, and if the consequence of the work is fail, which will result in blaming on the whole team.

dukenuneeUID: 2859326

已改好。

思遥UID: 2865808

怎么传word 文档呢？？
parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.%
Q  R% h* t- R7 C- d. Z
Nowadays, the problem that whether parents should help determined(为什么要加ed) the future of their children has been discussed severely.（建议改成the problem whether parents should make choice for their children has been brought to popular attention）Most of us believe the way which is chosen by parents for their children is smoother than that opted by children. However, as far as I am concerned, I strongly hold the opinion that the children should be allowed to make their own choices. Concrete evidence to support my viewpoint are reasoned and provided as follows.(用被动感觉句式更丰富点)
开头的建议是：句式比较单一，而且词汇重复的比较多，比如chosen，可以改用opted selected之类的。
4 ^; G7 U' k% t; x9 k7 \* d4 PConsider Nate, one of the main charater of GOSSIP GIRL, as an example. His grandfather forced him to be a politician. Although reluctant he is, he has no way to against. What will be the consequence of this situation. Obviously he has to step in the road of policy and there will be a gap between his grandfather and him. I do not mean that this is a bad way that Nate’s grandfather chooses for him but I just point out not all the children like the route that their parents select for them. If the parents insist on determining the future of their children, It may cause the bad effect on the relationship among the parents and children.
Besides, another reason is that children will learn a lot if they can be allowed to determine their future. Because of many obstacles
like the hardship in their careers which they will face, it is deemed not an easy way for children if they select their own futures. Nonetheless, when we change the perspective, we will realize that essence of difficulty is the key to success instead of the stumbling block. Children can gain independence and courage thorough the experience. Through the hardness, what they learn benefit not only a moment to them but also whole life.* O8 J& y8 K, i( W/ `" ^/ ]) ]（还是觉得句式单一呀。。单词拼写小错较多）
In conclusion, despite advantages of parents choosing the future for their children, we can easily find out which way is better for children. The advantages not only for a moment but the whole life.

思遥UID: 2865808

修改过的红色的看不出来。。

米爆爆UID: 2892134

9.9 作业 agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life


        Nowaday， more and more people frefer to watch movies, some of which are fictitious, some exzaggerated and some authentic . Should we accecp all kind of these movies? For me, the answer absolutely is no. The real-life movies—to me at last ,if not to others— the only worth movies for me to watch. So, here, I will explore some of the most indiapensable reasons.
   Do you like watching movies like Harry Potter or 2012 ? I have to acknowladge that the fictitious movies are really amazing and fascinating. However, some of the audiences consider this kind of movies are not actual, but some, strongly believe that what happen in the movies will happen in the real world. To be exact, unreal movies will conduce to the panic of the audiences. As we can see, after 2012 released, people  have worried about what will occur on 2012. Some of my friends even begin to count down the end of the world. Moreover, some people who are intend to arouse others’ trepidation have publish article about disasters which will happen on 2012. The panic like the wild fire spreads quickly in the every countries. What horrible and absurd consequence.
   So that, real-life movies, which most people don't incline to, deserve the popularity from us. Its merits not only present in content but also in the spirit which we can learn. Setting TANGSHAN EARTHQUAKE as an exemple, through this movies, I seemed to back to the time when the earthquake happened and experience it by myself with shock and moving. What it brings to me is an important lesson that not matter what you meet, never give up and endeavor your beat to conquer it. Frankly speaking, the real-life movies are not as attractive as other movies, but they can sublimate you thinking while others can not.
   In conclusion, watching other movies which are unreal is wasting of time and maybe some of them will cause bad influence. So that I strongly hold the opinoin that the real-lift movies are the sole movies deserve us to watch.

蛋蛋妮儿UID: 2733589

就是觉得论点什么的有些不突出，有点例证不够的感觉。。
具体写在附件里了，另外，拼写需要注意。
其他的还不错，哎，我作文也很差，一起加油吧。。

9、9 米爆爆（DOC）.doc (32.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-9-11 00:17:51 上传

下载次数: 5

米爆爆UID: 2892134

7# 蛋蛋妮儿
谢谢蛋蛋帮我改的作文。5555....例子的确很不足。实在虐了我的脑细胞。
其实我也觉得写其他电影也值得看更好写。起码能想的东西多。
当初就是想看看自己能写到啥程度。诶、。
对了。那个。说个问题。。。
第一句、。没有语法错误。你说的不平衡是不存在的。只是动词一致的话，被省略了而已。
第三段那个也没缺成分。which是修饰前面的movie的。deserve才是动词。。。。
thank u so much 啦。

一个人的捉迷藏UID: 2874191

Nowaday， more and more people frefer to watch movies, some of which are fictitious, some exzaggerated and some authentic . Should we accecp(accept) all kind of these movies? For me, the answer absolutely is no. The real-life movies—to me at last ,if not to others— the only worth(worthy) movies for me to watch. So, here, I will explore some of the most indiapensable(indispensible) reasons.
   Do you like watching movies like Harry Potter or 2012 ? I have to acknowledge(acknowledge) that the fictitious movies are really amazing and fascinating. However, some of the audiences consider this kind of movies are not actual, but some, strongly believe that what happen in the movies will happen in the real world. To be exact, unreal movies will conduce to the panic of the audiences. As we can see, after 2012 released, people  have worried about what will occur on 2012. Some of my friends even begin to count down the end of the world. Moreover, some people who are intend to arouse others’ trepidation have publish article about disasters which will happen on 2012. The panic like the wild fire spreads quickly in the every countries(in every country). What horrible and absurd consequence.
   So that(so that 不能做连词，建议用AS a result), real-life movies, which most people don't incline to, deserve the popularity from (among)us. Its merits not only present in content but also in the spirit which we can learn. Setting TANGSHAN EARTHQUAKE as an exemple, through this movies, I seemed to back to the time when the earthquake happened and experience it by myself with shock and moving. What it brings to me is an important lesson that not(no) matter what you meet, never give up and endeavor your beat to conquer it. Frankly speaking, the real-life movies are not as attractive as other movies, but they can sublimate you thinking while others can not.   In conclusion, watching other movies which are unreal is wasting of time and maybe some of them will cause bad influence. So that I strongly hold the opinoin that the real-lift movies are the sole movies deserve(deserving) us to watch.
文章写得不错， 不过蛮多小的语法错误和拼写错误，改一下就很好了。
我打在括号里了，不知道怎么上传附件啊，呜呜，
另外，给我的建议太中肯了，我这几个星期一直受到那个模板的魔咒。呵呵

米爆爆UID: 2892134

10.2    独立。写得乱七八糟。困死了。
好了。。。。大家纠结点改吧。
谢谢。

S酱UID: 2883188

10# 米爆爆

已改~

17308001UID: 2737541

大米 加 小米

米爆爆UID: 2892134

12# 17308001
我是奶牛。。。

米爆爆UID: 2892134

这次写得很HI。而且字数是最多的一次
哈哈哈。虽然写得不好，起码还是有进步阿。

米爆爆UID: 2892134

刚被一哥哥改了
他的意见是

语言有待提高
句子很中式
对复杂句型模仿很生硬
第一句话头重脚轻
词汇不好。good。bad 满天飞
语法错误。单复数错误
审题不严。跑题了

这个题目有这么几层意思： 1. 家庭以外对孩子有影响（从句中的信息） 2.这种影响对父母的管理有负面作用（主句信息） 3. 父母控制孩子，或者是管教孩子是否应该？（注意，中国式的教育使得我们认为control一定是负面的，但是未必，所以我个人以为，statement的重点不是在是否应该control上）

Vas 13:43:35 那么statement的重点是什么呢？ hard

Vas 13:44:10 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?------》hard to control，

Vas 13:44:17 hard or not？

Mimo。 13:44:21 恩。然后就该写看电视会使得孩子变坏。然后就会使父母难以管教。？

Vas 13:44:31 人家问你是否同意么

Mimo。 13:44:45 同意。

Vas 13:44:50 然后再说，坏影响怎么怎么样

Mimo。 13:44:52 然后就这样写囖。

Mimo。 13:45:08 噢。。。。那我写的那篇文章还是能找出不走题的地方囖。

Vas 13:45:43 你再说，坏影响====》难管教====》Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Mimo。 13:45:53 恩恩。

Mimo。 13:46:07 我去重写哈。谢谢vas哥。我想你应该是老师吧。。。。

Vas 13:46:22 那么，control也有负面的含义

Vas 13:48:24 你看看Webster词典对control是怎么解释的

Vas 13:48:50 2 a : to exercise restraining or directing influence over : REGULATE b : to have power over : RULE c : to reduce the incidence or severity of especially to innocuous levels

Vas 13:49:18 a : to exercise restraining or directing influence over : REGULATE b : to have power over : RULE

Vas 13:49:32 看到influence了么……

Mimo。 13:49:39 看到了。

Vas 13:50:35 我再启发你一点点：

Mimo。 13:50:46

Vas 13:51:34 如果父母的某些观点或者做法是错误的，孩子通过外界（不一定是电视或者电影），是不是也属于hard to control的范畴？

Vas 13:51:46 如果父母的某些观点或者做法是错误的，孩子通过外界（不一定是电视或者电影）意识到父母的错误，是不是也属于hard to control的范畴？

Mimo。 13:52:01 恩恩。

Mimo。 13:52:03 噢。。。

Vas 13:52:26 所以，一定要清楚的明白，statemen statemen，

Vas 13:53:01 statement： 1 : something stated: as a : a single declaration or remark : ASSERTION b : a report of facts or opinions 2 : the act or process of stating or presenting orally or on paper 3 : PROPOSITION 2A 4 : the presentation of a theme in a musical composition

Mimo。 13:53:29 恩恩。

Vas 13:54:48 对statement的判断，不应该以个人的主观好恶来简单判断正误，而是要通过逻辑论述，用 reasons and specific examples 来证明自己的观点。