emulate 小组第一周作业 andrew_zwi

Andrew_zwiUID: 2670942

【Emulate小组第2次作业】
【题目】Argument 14


The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

有证据表明消费者对于自己种植蔬菜越来越感兴趣。上个月举行的一项国家调查显示很多消费者对于超市上供应的新鲜蔬菜的质量不满意。在本地，园艺杂志《大花园》在"Village News"报亭连续三个月售磬。因此，我们Green Thumb Gardening Center可以通过大量增加今春为园艺爱好者准备的蔬菜种子的种类而增加盈利。

提纲：
1.
由整体推个体
National survey 不一定能代表该地区情况
2.
错误外推

dissatisfied 不代表consumer会自己种，及时自己种也不一定会买GT的种子。
3.
错误外推
magazine的火爆不代表是因为人们想要种植蔬菜而去购买，可能是其他原因。

字数： 471

正文：

In this memo, a conclusion is drawn by the owner that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GT) should greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds, in turn, profit increase. To substantiate this proposition, the arguer pints out the evidence, according to national survey, that many consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables in supermarkets. In addition, the author indicates that some gardening magazine has been out of stock for three month, and reasons that people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetable. Admittedly, this suggestion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further cogitation reveals that it omits some substantial assumptions that constitute a logical argument.

The foremost and fundamental assumption upon which this argument rests is that more and more people are interested in growing their own vegetable. To support it, the owner cites the result of a national survey. The nationwide survey, however, does not necessarily apply to local citizens would be discontented with the quality of vegetables in the supermarket. It is quite possible that people in here do not follow these general trends. For that matter, the trend that people would grow vegetable by themselves might be just the opposite. Thus, without more marketing information about people in suburban town, it is difficult to assess whether the profit would rise.

Even assuming that nationwide statistics applies equally to local people, the arguer relies on the additional supposition that people would grow their own vegetables when they are dissatisfied with vegetables of supermarket. However, the owner fails to provide any evidence to support this assumption. Perhaps people would buy the vegetables from other market. Or perhaps people would continue to buy vegetables from supermarkets even with complaints. Since the owner has failed to consider and rule out these possibilities, the owner's assertion cannot be taken seriously.

Finally, the author fails to provide evidence to support that good-market of Great Gardens was caused by a large number of people like growing their own vegetables—rather than some other factors. It is very likely that people’s interest in growing does not in fact serve to it, while some other factor, such as decrease of copies stock, or even the competitor of Great Gardens has stopped selling magazine three months ago. Without considering and ruling out these and other factors that might have result in such phenomenon, the author cannot justifiably make the conclusion.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive and unreceptive as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer should provide more information that nationwide tendency applies specifically to the consumer of GT. Additionally, to better evaluate the argument, we would also need to know why people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. Therefore, if the argument had included the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and logically acceptable.

jefferysyUID: 2928828

In this memo, a conclusion is drawn by the owner that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GT) should greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds, in turn, profit increase. To substantiate this proposition, the arguer pints out the evidence, according to national survey, that many consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables in supermarkets. In addition, the author indicates that some gardening magazine has been out of stock for three month, and reasons that people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetable. Admittedly, this suggestion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further cogitation（很好的用词） reveals that it omits some substantial assumptions that constitute a logical argument.（似乎觉得第一段太长，对前提条件叙述太多，有点繁琐）

The foremost and fundamental（好描述） assumption upon which this argument rests is that more and more people are interested in growing their own vegetable. To support it, the owner cites the result of a national survey. The nationwide survey, however, does not necessarily apply to local citizens would be（觉得would be 可省略）discontented with the quality of vegetables in the supermarket. It is quite possible that people in here do not follow these general trends. For that matter, the trend that people would grow vegetable by themselves might be just the opposite. Thus, without more marketing information about people in suburban town, it is difficult to assess whether the profit would rise.

Even assuming that nationwide statistics applies equally to local people, the arguer relies on the additional supposition that people would grow their own vegetables when they are dissatisfied with vegetables of supermarket. However, the owner （可以加个seem to以不绝对） fails to provide any evidence to support this assumption. Perhaps people would buy the vegetables from other market. Or perhaps people would continue to buy vegetables from supermarkets even with complaints. Since the owner has failed to consider and rule out these possibilities, the owner's assertion cannot be taken seriously.

Finally, the author fails to（又有这词，可以改成does not enough to）provide evidence to support that good-market of Great Gardens was caused by a large number of people like growing their own vegetables—rather than some other factors. It is very likely that people’s interest in growing does not in fact serve to it, while some other factor, such as decrease of copies stock, or even the competitor of Great Gardens has stopped selling magazine three months ago. Without considering and ruling out these and other factors that might have result in such phenomenon, the author cannot justifiably make the conclusion.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive and unreceptive as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer should provide more information that nationwide tendency applies specifically to the consumer of GT. Additionally, to better evaluate the argument, we would also need to know why people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. Therefore, if the argument had included the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and logically acceptable.（全文观点清晰，问题基本提到，到似乎有点太重复，总体还是很好）

AK_小儿UID: 2784558

In this memo, a conclusion is drawn by the owner that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GT) should greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds, in turn, profit increase. To substantiate this proposition, the arguer pints out the evidence, according to national survey, that many consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables in supermarkets. In addition, the author indicates that some gardening magazine has been out of stock for three month, and reasons that people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetable. Admittedly, this suggestion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further cogitation reveals that it omits some substantial assumptions that constitute a logical argument.(首段提出谬误并表达自己观点，陈述speaker的逻辑时相当清晰，只是有些模板的影子，但是应该无影响，另外用了一些比较高级的词汇和搭配，我是真的不知道有没有问题)

The foremost and fundamental assumption upon which this argument rests is that more and more people are interested in growing their own vegetable. To support it, the owner cites the result of a national survey. The nationwide survey, however, does not necessarily apply to local citizens would be discontented with the quality of vegetables in the supermarket. It is quite possible that people in（in去掉） here do not follow these general trends. For that matter, the trend that people would grow vegetable by themselves might be just the opposite. Thus, without more marketing information about people in suburban town, it is difficult to assess whether the profit would rise.

Even assuming that nationwide statistics applies equally to local people, the arguer relies on the additional supposition that people would grow their own vegetables when they are dissatisfied with vegetables of supermarket. However, the owner fails to provide any evidence to support this assumption. Perhaps people would buy the vegetables from other market. Or perhaps people would continue to buy vegetables from supermarkets even with complaints. Since the owner has failed to consider and rule out these possibilities, the owner's assertion cannot be taken seriously.

Finally, the author fails to provide evidence to support that good-market of Great Gardens was caused by a large number of people like growing their own vegetables—rather than some other factors. It is very likely that people’s interest in growing does not in fact serve to it, while some other factor, such as decrease of copies stock, or even the competitor of Great Gardens has stopped selling magazine three months ago. Without considering and ruling out these and other factors that might have result in such phenomenon, the author cannot justifiably make the conclusion.（这一段感觉问题比较大，这里的逻辑应当是1杂志很快卖完不代表就是热卖2即使是热卖不代表人们就对种植蔬菜感兴趣3即使感兴趣不代表一定会自己种，感觉楼主这里逻辑没理顺，甚至没说完。）
（这篇文章反驳部分完全没反驳speaker最后推论：扩大种子种类存储量可以提高利润！！！！致命！！！）

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive and unreceptive as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer should provide more information that nationwide tendency applies specifically to the consumer of GT. Additionally, to better evaluate the argument, we would also need to know why people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. Therefore, if the argument had included the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and logically acceptable.（首尾两段都挺好，完整清晰流畅）

Andrew_zwiUID: 2670942

2# jefferysy
嗯。谢谢你的修改。
你提的意见都很中肯，我已经在我的文章中修改了。
虽然修改了，但是还有许多不足，求拍。。:)

Andrew_zwiUID: 2670942

3# AK_小儿
谢谢你的修改。
倒数第二段，你的反驳思路很清晰。
尤其是“这篇文章反驳部分完全没反驳speaker最后推论：扩大种子种类存储量可以提高利润！！！！致命！！”
我十分同意。这点很重要，我以前都没注意到。
在我改写的文章已经做了修改。。

Andrew_zwiUID: 2670942

根据小组组员SY 和AK的建议，我改写了我的Argument。
红色的为修改部分
In this memo, the owner suggests that Green Thumb Gardening Center (GT) should greatly expand the variety of vegetable seeds, in turn, profit increase. To substantiate this proposition, the arguer cites a national survey that many consumers were dissatisfied with the vegetables in supermarkets. In addition, the author indicates that some gardening magazine has been out of stock for three month, and reasons that people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetable. Admittedly, this suggestion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further cogitation reveals that it omits some substantial assumptions that constitute a logical argument.

The foremost and fundamental assumption upon which this argument rests is that more and more people are interested in growing their own vegetable. To support it, the owner cites the result of a national survey. The nationwide survey, however, does not necessarily apply to local citizens. It is quite possible that people in here do not follow these general trends. For that matter, the trend that people would grow vegetable by themselves might be just the opposite. Thus, without more marketing information about people in suburban town, it is difficult to assess whether the profit would rise.

Even assuming that nationwide statistics applies equally to local people, the arguer relies on the additional supposition that people would grow their own vegetables when they are dissatisfied with vegetables of supermarket. However, the owner seems to fails to provide any evidence to support this assumption. Perhaps people would buy the vegetables from other market. Or perhaps people would continue to buy vegetables from supermarkets even with complaints. Since the owner has failed to consider and rule out these possibilities, the owner's assertion cannot be taken seriously.

Even if people would grow their own vegetables, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds would not necessarily be profitable as a result. Profitability is a function of both revenue and expense. Thus, it is entirely possible that the GT’s costs of restoring seeds might render it unprofitable despite its considerable revenue. Without weighing revenue against expenses the argument’s conclusion is premature at best.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive and unreceptive as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer should provide more information that nationwide tendency applies specifically to the consumer of GT. Additionally, to better evaluate the argument, we would also need to know why people are more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. Therefore, if the argument had included the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and logically acceptable.