Issue185 高频题，首次限时成功，虽然是一个小时。信心爆棚

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Scandals, whether in politics, academia, or other areas, can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Outline:
a) Scandals, a kind of radical but real facts, are a more effective approach to show what is going on wrongly around than words.
b) Scandals and the condemnation to them would constantly remind people of what is not supposed to do as well as the right path, which, in other words, is a reinforcement to the social believes and standards.
c) Admittedly, too many scandals would be a different story, which mostly reveal a negative social trend and with people getting used to it, it would probably even be accepted by a certain people and hence mess up the values that the society used to cherish.

Article:
As a member of this informative world, I can't help noticing those scandals happening every day in every possible fields, including some of those which were considered as sacred and pure ones before, such as sports and religions. Scandals are mostly regarded as shame and disgrace that blemish all the people concerned but bystanders who make their own fun out of all the gossips. However, in some sense, scandals also play a positive role to people's lives and the whole society as well.

Scandals, a kind of radical but real facts, are a more effective approach to show what is going on wrongly around than words. Scandal is the accumulation of problems, which might have been existing for a while yet never been well recognized by the public. And BANG! Scandals would end it with an explosion if problems and conflicts keep unsolved in this "heated" status. For example, the Water Gate incidence. Before the exposure of it, some speakers already expressed such concerns about the issue of abusing power by the government. However, without evidences to prove its existence, the Congress and the mass media didn't pay sufficient attention to this issue. The Water Gate scandal finally rang the bell loudly and clearly in people's ears that the power of President must be laid under strict control preventing anything unfair and unjust happening on the very top of a democratic society.

Scandals and the condemnation to them would constantly remind people of what is not supposed to do as well as the right path, which, in other words, is a reinforcement to the social believes and standards. Scandals and the way the people deal with them is kind of a self-healing mechanism of the society: Famous, and usually great, persons committed some serious wrongdoing, which is made known to the public. People accused and punished them from physical or ethical aspects, giving them a lesson for never doing it again, which is also a warning to other people who may have the same intention deep in their mind, especially young people who have not established their own values yet. In this sense the scandals are just like the viruses infected to the healthy body, which only made the antibody even stronger.

Admittedly, too many scandals would be a different story, which mostly reveal a negative social trend and with people getting used to it, it would probably even be accepted by a certain people and hence mess up the values that the society used to cherish. There is a old Chinese saying: "Any rumor repeated by three people would become the truth", so would scandals. In the western countries, countless rock stars, especially those hardcore ones, have been reported addicting to drugs or involved into sex scandals for their sudden possession of big money and their so-called "strong personalities". Unfortunately, they are usually adored by thousands of fans who take them as idols or even Gods, thus everything about them including  all the drugs and irresponsible sex are copied by crazy followers, which is making intense impacts on the values on which our society is able to stand and step forward.

To sum up, everything has both sides. What literally seems to be pure evil could benefit others somewhere and someway. Although dirty and smelly, scandals could still provide nutrition to the society and help it grow.

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[ Last edited by css on 2005-7-17 at 13:23 ]

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As a member of this informative world, I can't help noticing those scandals happening every day in every possible fields, including some of those which were considered as sacred and pure ones before, such as sports and religions. Scandals are mostly regarded as shame and disgrace that blemish all the people concerned but bystanders who make their own fun out of all the gossips. 有点不顺，想说受注意的人的耻辱，但除旁观者？but前停顿一下吧However, in some sense, scandals also play a positive role to people's lives and the whole society as well. however前都是事实，没有态度，怎么就however转折了呢？

Scandals, a kind of radical but real facts, are a more effective approach to show what is going on wrongly around than words.什么words，丑闻不是用words来传播的？ Scandal is the accumulation of problems, 那应该叫被掩盖的问题which might have been existing for a while yet never been well recognized by the public. And BANG! 嗯？很吓人哦!Scandals would end it with an explosion if problems and conflicts keep unsolved in this "heated" status. For example, the Water Gate incidence. for example接句子 Before the exposure of it, some speakers already expressed such concerns about the issue of abusing power by the government.分析的不错！ However, without evidences to prove its existence, the Congress and the mass media didn't pay sufficient attention to this issue. The Water Gate scandal finally rang the bell loudly and clearly in people's ears that the power of President 你文章文学色彩好重，如果对分析文章有帮助就用，没有的话……就少用must be laid under strict control preventing anything unfair and unjust happening on the very top of a democratic society. 这段夹叙夹议很生动

Scandals and the condemnation to them would constantly remind people of what is not supposed to do as well as the right path, which, in other words, is a reinforcement to the social believes and standards. Scandals and the way the people deal with them is kind of a self-healing mechanism 好比喻！但self-healing是这个意思吗？我查到的是自体愈合植物, 夏枯草？of the society: Famous, and usually great, persons committed some serious wrongdoing, which is made known to the public. 太散，可能是你的风格People accused and punished them from physical or ethical aspects, giving them a lesson for never doing it again, which is also a warning to other people who may have the same intention deep in their mind, especially young people who have not established their own values yet. In this sense the scandals are just like the viruses 好像这段说丑闻好，那为什么比作病毒呢？ infected to the healthy body, which only made the antibody even stronger. 这种抽象的比喻，可以具体在段中说明，作比喻论证分析

Admittedly, too many scandals would be a different story, 前后单复不一致which mostly reveal a negative social trend and with people getting used to it, it would probably even be accepted by a certain people and hence mess up the values that the society used to cherish. There is a old Chinese saying: "Any rumor repeated by three people would become the truth", so would scandals. 谣言和丑闻哪个范围大？有没有包含关系？有必要区分说明一下，不引用这句话也可以，把意思说明就行。In the western countries, countless rock stars, especially those hardcore ones, have been reported addicting to drugs or involved into sex scandals for their sudden possession of big money and their so-called "strong personalities". Unfortunately, they are usually adored by thousands of fans who take them as idols or even Gods, thus everything about them including  all the drugs and irresponsible sex are copied by crazy followers, which is making intense impacts on the values on which our society is able to stand and step forward.主题句应该和这个例子配合，讲明明人的丑闻可能会被模仿；或者根据中心句，再分析为什么是reveal而不是bring about，个人意见;)

To sum up, everything has both sides. What literally seems to be pure evil could benefit others somewhere and someway. Although dirty and smelly, scandals could still provide nutrition to the society and help it grow.  文章中好像没有丑闻的负面词汇，怎么就dirty了？结构是不错地！

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谢谢你的修改
占位子咯

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i      48 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=302355

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As a member of this informative world, I can't help noticing those scandals happening every day in every possible fields, including some of those which were considered as sacred and pure ones before, such as sports and religions. [很有意思的开头啊！] Scandals are mostly regarded as shame and disgrace that blemish all the people concerned but bystanders who make their own fun out of all the gossips. [后面的半句好象离题咯~] However, in some sense, scandals also play a positive role to people's lives and the whole society as well.[前面的people跟后面的people指代不同，前面的people是说会被丑闻blemish的人，不包含bystanders，后面的people则指全体people。嘿嘿~是不是太吹毛求疵了？不过是YOUR MAIN TS，这样慎重一点是好的]

Scandals, a kind of radical but real facts, are a more effective approach to show what is going on wrongly around than words. [不要与你的TS重复嘛] Scandal is the accumulation of problems,[是吗？那克林顿的性丑闻呢，出事不久就被都抖出来了]  which might have been existing for a while yet never been well recognized by the public. And BANG! Scandals would end it with an explosion if problems and conflicts keep unsolved in this "heated" status. For example, the Water Gate [Watergate]  incidence. Before the exposure of it, some speakers already expressed such concerns about the issue of abusing power by the government. However, without evidences to prove its existence, the Congress and the mass media didn't pay sufficient attention to this issue. The Water Gate scandal finally rang the bell loudly and clearly in people's ears that the power of President must be laid under strict control preventing anything unfair and unjust happening on the very top of a democratic society. [不错的一段，结构清晰，建议用先行词，如firstly,secondly,to begin with, in addition等]

Scandals and the condemnation to them would constantly remind people of what is not supposed to do as well as the right path, which, in other words, is a reinforcement to the social believes and standards. Scandals and the way the people deal with them is kind of a self-healing mechanism of the society: Famous, and usually great, persons committed some serious wrongdoing, which is made known to the public. People accused and punished them from physical or ethical aspects, giving them a lesson for never doing it again, which is also a warning to other people who may have the same intention deep in their mind, especially young people who have not established their own values yet. In this sense the scandals are just like the viruses infected to the healthy body, which only made the antibody even stronger.[个人觉得中心应该放在丑闻怎样有用，怎样起到一般手段做不到的监督作用]

Admittedly, too many scandals would be a different story,[有~这样的用法吗？]  which mostly reveal a negative social trend and with people getting used to it, it would probably even be accepted by a certain people and hence mess up the values that the society used to cherish. There is a old Chinese saying: "Any rumor repeated by three people would become the truth", so would scandals. In the western countries, countless rock stars, especially those hardcore ones, have been reported addicting to drugs or involved into sex scandals for their sudden possession of big money and their so-called "strong personalities". Unfortunately, they are usually adored by thousands of fans who take them as idols or even Gods, thus everything about them including  all the drugs and irresponsible sex are copied by crazy followers, which is making intense impacts on the values on which our society is able to stand and step forward.

To sum up, everything has both sides. What literally seems to be pure evil could benefit others somewhere and someway. Although dirty and smelly, scandals could still provide nutrition to the society and help it grow.  
先恭喜你首次限时成功啦。想当初我也是为时间而烦恼，坚持下去效果就出来了。入正题，个人觉得这篇文章结构不错，语言也行。但论证不够有力，就感觉没说到点子上去，说到最关键的points上。所以不能很好的说服your readers。而且逻辑思维不严密，要加油！！
建议看看嘉文博译里的这篇文章，写得很好。加油啊~不只我的修改你满不满意，欢迎与我交流互改啊！
8。1。 武汉

你决定上路，就离开这城市，离开你深爱多年的姑娘---那一年 许巍

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Is discovery and progress be [多了个谓语吧]made only through mistakes? I basically agree with the speaker's claim. In my point of view [去掉] , rarely could people make the progress without the step of making mistakes, however, provided with right attitude to the mistakes and be prepared to learn from the mistakes are more important than mistakes itself to make the discovery.[个人觉得破题最好从only下手，不过你有别的 想法也很好]

First of all, almost all the success is based on mistakes.[不地道，而且不用被动。可以这么说nearly all of succuss base on mistakes这样会不会好一点]  As an old saying goes, failure is mother of success, [不是这么说的，Failure is the Mother of success.] mistake plays a vital role in the process of discovering.[这一句结构不对吧，分成两段吧] Edison found the right matierial for bulb  and invented bulb [重复] successfully after thousands times facing failture; [呵呵~通用的例子，大家都知道~就不要用了，not creative]  R. Reagan, who is regarded as one of the best communicators, experienced an embarrassment in his first speech, and so forth -- examples like this are abundant in history which shows that it is nearly impossible to find the very way to success at the first try just as how difficult it is to pick up the present sent by Tom at the first time, in front of so many presents which are still folded in the boxes. In short, mistakes are the indispensable step we human are unable to jump over.[不一定吧，难道成功一定得先失败吗？没有一次成功的例子吗？不要太绝对咯~林晓XD~]+[而且例子可以在展开一点，这样篇幅不是也上来了么？500出头比较紧啊。想得高分一定要到550，虽然有争议，但我深信不已。不知你怎么想]

Furthermore, the attitude towards mistakes is essential to the progress.[what progress?请说明，毕竟是TS啊]  To avoid mistakes is useless, but people could utilize [用take advantage of 比较好一点] them guided by a correct attitude towards mistakes. Review the examples I cites above, I believe it is the positive attitude to the mistakes make Edison arrived the shore of success after experiencing so many storms of mistakes, when it comes to Reagan, it is the same: nearly every people dream to be a great speecher like him, but questions such as how to treat the mistakes occurring and how to face laugh from others prevent most people who fear to struggle the mistakes.  Edison may not [谓语哩？] the clearest people and Reagan might have more mistakes than many other people in his first speech, the real impulse to drive them to success, I suppose, is the positive attitude towards mistakes.[这一段论证不够有力，优点是结构很好]

Finally, mistakes serve as a mirror to show us the flaws. Through mistakes people are able to realize the flaws which may undermine the process of development.[这样是不是更好~through making mistakes can enable people to realize ....]  Just think about the realm of business, almost every flaws without being corrected in the financial process may cause collapse of a company or a group of companies[重复，直接用companies吧] . On the other hand, examining the mistakes and take[taking，要对应啊]  them into heart might bring about improvement in the company's financial system which would benefit the company at last. Actually, the successful people often put mistakes to a high position rather than disgust [disgust?你确定？] them, regard them as alarms to ensure the progress not only the boring things, find out the real problems under the cover of mistakes, in this way, mistakes would be useful tool to help people achieve the final goal. [好长的一句哦，但结构不好，有些乱]

In sum, mistakes is not the block in the way to progress, finding out flaws in ourselves and strength them, surmounting the hill of mistake in a positive attitude, discovery will be not long away.  [唔~好简洁。]

好象我改你的文章很多次了，so do you!彼此加油啊！好象你快考了啊，时间方面一定得搞定啊！！我 8。1 武汉，现在基本搞定时间了，就是再不爽我也能按时写完（不是自夸），加油啊！！
你的文章最大的不足是论证的方面不够有力，就是不能很好的convince and persuade your readers，这也是通病了。而且没有从ONLY THROUGH的确是不好写，你觉得呢？不过你这种写法也有经典范文，推荐孙远里面的这篇，写得确实是非常好。可以借鉴。
我们一起加油！！


你决定上路，就离开这城市，离开你深爱多年的姑娘---那一年 许巍

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sorry
有一篇发错到你这了
不要在意啊

aimei2005UID: 2119194

Gloria_PpUID: 202142

:L觉得结构很好啊，但是你要注意时间的保持啊。政治性的文章的例子呢？我觉得最主要的就是说了一大堆，但是没有STRONG EVIDENCE的尴尬。:D

Gloria_PpUID: 202142

:L觉得结构很好啊，但是你要注意时间的保持啊。政治性的文章的例子呢？我觉得最主要的就是说了一大堆，但是没有STRONG EVIDENCE的尴尬。:D