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[a习作temp] argument14【决战AW作文小组】第7次作业 by sakuraanne [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-7 10:08:42 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 sakuraanne 于 2009-2-25 15:21 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 500
TIME: 00:47:15
DATE: 2009-2-7 9:55:30


In this argument, the author supposes that according to the dissatisfaction consumers have on supermarkets' vegetables and the good sales record of a local gardening magazine, people prefer to grow vegetables and this will result in an increasing profit of Green Thumb Gardening Center. This argument is flawed in several respects, which renders it unconvincing.

The first and the foremost, the credibility of that mentioned survey is under question. For the investigation may take out in a certain small group of people who often complaint about the quality of supermarkets' vegetables. And even the survey takes out with adequate sample and abundant sample number, the author cannot assume that people prefer to grow vegetables themselves. They may want to stimulate the supermarkets to improve the quality of their goods or service through this investment. And as purchasing vegetables from supermarkets are much more convenient as well as saving money and time, they are not likely to simply replace the easier way of getting vegetables with growing.

What's more, selling out of the local magazine at the Village News stand three months in a row does not mean its popularity throughout the whole. Perhaps that stand is a place where people loves gardening used to gather; the offices of some gardening organization may locate there, or it lies beneath a landscape aiming in eco-tourism which investors buys all the magazines for they get a series of interviews and advertisements on the magazine and those magazines can be used as a wonderful tool of propaganda.
Furthermore, the popularity of a gardening magazine cannot ensure the popularity of gardening in people, not mention the popularity of growing vegetables. It is possible that people read gardening magazines as an entertainment to spare their leisure and they may feel relaxed and close to the nature through reading after days of hard working. They do not actually grow things themselves. In addition, common sense tells us that most information on gardening magazines are not about vegetables.Perhaps people read the magazine for guidance on planting flowers or other decorating plants rather than targeting on growing vegetables.

Even if consumers really interested in growing vegetables, it does not have a causal relationship with the profits' increase of Green Thumb Gardening Center. First of all, there may be other gardening companies in the country or in the town which do a better work than GT. People may prefer to purchase seeds from those qualified companies. Secondly, vegetable seeds are only part of the stock of a gardening company and people want to have the expert company satisfy their various needs. If the company pay too much attention on stocking vegetable seeds, their reputation will probably get harmed which will consequently influence its profits.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it, the speaker should provide us more background information about the how the survey carries out, the evidence of people's preference in growing vegetables themselves, the advantages of GT in earning profits, etc.
   唯一有的就是单纯的好奇心
   结果就是 他认为是好的东西
   就毫不掩饰的赞美 完全敞开心胸
   也就是说 这家伙太危险了
   对他而言 什么鉴定的眼光根本没有
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发表于 2009-2-7 20:48:51 |只看该作者
1# sakuraanne
TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 500
TIME: 00:47:15
DATE: 2009-2-7 9:55:30

In this argument, the author supposes that according to the dissatisfaction consumers having on supermarkets' vegetables and the good sales record of a local gardening magazine, people prefer to grow vegetables and this will result in an increasing profit of Green Thumb Gardening Center. This argument is flawed in several respects, which renders it unconvincing.
The first and the foremost, the credibility of that mentioned survey is under question. For the investigation may take out in a certain small group of people who often complaint about the quality of supermarkets' vegetables. And even the survey takes out (conducts) with adequate sample and abundant sample number, the author cannot assume that people prefer to grow vegetables themselves. They may want to stimulate the supermarkets to improve the quality of their goods or service through this investment investigation. And as purchasing vegetables from supermarkets are much more convenient as well as saving money and time, they are not likely to simply replace the easier way of getting vegetables with growing.
对人群特征,人群真实意愿,方便性入口。很好。
还可以说因为在suburban town,人们可以直接去
farm
What's more, selling out of the local magazine at the Village News stand three months in a row does not mean its popularity throughout the whole. Perhaps that stand
(总觉得stand有点奇怪在这里) is a place where people loves gardening used to gather; the offices of some gardening organization may locate there, or it lies beneath a landscape aiming in eco-tourism which investors buys all the magazines for they get a series of interviews and advertisements on the magazine and those magazines can be used as a wonderful tool of propaganda.
Furthermore, the popularity of a gardening magazine cannot ensure the popularity of gardening in people, not mention the popularity of growing vegetables. It is possible that people read gardening magazines as an entertainment to spare their leisure and they may feel relaxed and close to the nature through reading after days of hard working. They do not actually grow things by themselves. In addition, common sense tells us that most information on gardening magazines are not about vegetables.(common sense不大好,因为有的人对这个不了解,就说有可能好了) Perhaps people read the magazine for guidance on planting flowers or other decorating plants rather than targeting on growing vegetables.
Even if consumers are really interested in growing vegetables, it does not have a causal relationship with the profits' increase of Green Thumb Gardening Center. First of all, there may be other gardening companies in the country or in the town which do a better work than GT. People may prefer to purchase seeds from those qualified companies. Secondly, vegetable seeds are only part of the stock of a gardening company and people want to have the expert company satisfy their various needs. If the company pay too much attention on stocking vegetable seeds, their reputation will probably get harmed which will consequently influence its profits. (说不过去吧?)

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it, the speaker should provide us more background information about the how the survey carries out, the evidence of people's preference in growing vegetables themselves, the advantages of GT in earning profits, etc.

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