Issue130 [0906G文以载道三月四月小组]by luyaoxu

luyaoxuUID: 2588850

Issue 130
“How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.”

[synopsis]
Socialization plays a vital importance to a childs’ grow up.
Refute other possible factors such as economy, environment or political policy that may determine the destiny of society.
How to supply better education for children is a longterm question for all nations.

[writing]
It is of no difficulty to discover that the author’s assertion concerns dual significant problems: the socialization of children and education on which contemporary governments places more and more emphasis.

Children are the future of our society. Just through education to some extent, we impart to the next generation not only the knowledge known by contemporary but more importantly the ability to think and behave independantly when he or she enters the society.

I strongly agree with the speaker’s claim that the society’s future hinges on the socialization of our children ruling out many other possible factors. Without doubt, children are the future of our society. We place much hope and expectation on our children, believing in they will build a more just and more harmonious world. Accodingly education of children has an immense impact on the human society. One can safely assume that a person is not in the proper sense till he is educated. However, education has always been a complicated system that many countries have been making progress and seeking for improvement.

Socialization palys a significant role in education for children when they grow up. In primary socialization, children learn through eating, hygiene, dressing, which usually happens at home. on the basis of mastering the basic skills, the children can get rid of parents’ help step by step and take good care of themselves finally. When they grow up, they can also undertake the great responsibilities to bring up next generation which means a lot in terms of Darwin’s evolution theory. During secondary socialization, children learn to act as a group member and learn skills and lessons to be accepted as a social member, such as working at church, participating in extra curricular activities. Since we humans are social in the essence, these capabilities have a profound influence on children’s afterward lives. By connecting and interacting with sourounding people, the children form the sence of personal identity gradually. Similarly, through being with others friendly, the children foster traditional values such as friendship and loyalty and so on. Taking part in different groups is also benificial to enhance mutual understanding between children. In short, the socialization process helps to shape the children’s good character and effective communitive skills to say the least.

Admittedly, some one may argue that there are many other factors such as the economy, environment or political policy that may determine the destiny of society. I concede that it’s just we human who make decisions to propagate the tendency of affairs in all sphere of life. In socilization realm, the essence is to teach children to “think before act”. Generally, think what you are going to do carefully and then carry it out. A leader who gets accustomed to think calmly and responsibily before making decisions usually make wiser ones than those who rushes to come a conclusion. In specific, a diplomat with a mutual undestanding faciliates adressing foreign affairs more effectively on the base of deplomatic devices. Apprehending the consummers’ mental state and communicative skills will undoubtedly benefit a business leader in making sales policies in order to win more profits. Therefore only with wiser leaders and more socialed citizens can we create a much better world in the future together. And it’s the very education of socialization for our children that provides a chance to improve the circumstance by generations.

In conclusion, socialization means a lot in the education for children. It helps to shape more educated and qulified leaders and citizens in the future who finally determines the destiny of our society jointly. So, it’s no wonder that many countries think highly of their education system and commit to provide better education for children-who are destined to become the backbones of a nation when they grow up.

NormalFuJenUID: 2571208

Issue130 [0906G文以载道三月四月小组] on luyaoxu

Issue 130
“How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.”

[synopsis]
Socialization plays a vital importance to a childs’ grow up.
Refute other possible factors such as economy, environment or political policy that may determine the destiny of society.
How to supply better education for children is a longterm question for all nations.

[writing]
It is of no difficulty to discover that the author’s assertion concerns dual significant problems: the socialization of children and education on which contemporary governments places more and more emphasis.

Children are the future of our society. Just through education to some extent, we impart to the next generation not only the knowledge known by contemporary but more importantly the ability to think and behave independantly (independently) when he or she enters the society. （这一段没什么观点，是不是可以不要？）

I strongly agree with the speaker’s claim that the society’s future hinges on the socialization of our children ruling out many other possible factors (这句话是什么意思？). Without doubt, children are the future of our society. We place much hope and expectation on our children, believing in they will build a more just and more harmonious world. Accodingly (Accordingly) education of children has an immense impact on the human society. One can safely assume that a person is not in the proper sense till he is educated. However, education has always been a complicated system that many countries have been making progress and seeking for improvement.（感觉这一段没有围绕主题，为什么社会化很重要呢？这段没有对这一论点展开）

Socialization palys (plays) a significant role in education for children when they grow up. In primary socialization, children learn through eating, hygiene, dressing, which usually happens at home. On the basis of mastering the basic skills, the children can get rid of parents’ help step by step and take good care of themselves finally. When they grow up, they can also undertake the great responsibilities to bring up next generation which means a lot in terms of Darwin’s evolution theory. During secondary socialization, children learn to act as a group member and learn skills and lessons to be accepted as a social member, such as working at church, participating in extracurricular activities. Since we humans are social in the essence, these capabilities have a profound influence on children’s afterward lives. By connecting and interacting with sourounding (surrounding) people, the children form the sence (sense?) of personal identity gradually. Similarly, through being with others friendly, the children foster traditional values such as friendship and loyalty and so on. Taking part in different groups is also beneficial (beneficial) to enhance mutual understanding between children. In short, the socialization process helps to shape the children’s good character and effective communitive (gregarious) skills to say the least.

Admittedly, someone may argue that there are many other factors such as the economy, environment or political policy that may determine the destiny of society. I concede that it’s just we human who make decisions to propagate the tendency of affairs in all sphere of life. In socilization (socialization) realm, the essence is to teach children to “think before act”. Generally, think what you are going to do carefully and then carry it out. A leader who gets accustomed to think calmly and responsibily (responsibly) before making decisions usually make wiser ones than those who rushes to come a conclusion. In specific, a diplomat with a mutual undestanding faciliates adressing foreign affairs more effectively on the base of deplomatic devices.(这句话……) Apprehending the consummers’ mental state and communicative skills will undoubtedly benefit a business leader in making sales policies in order to win more profits. Therefore only with wiser leaders and more socialed (socialized) citizens can we create a much better world in the future together. And it’s the very education of socialization for our children that provides a chance to improve the circumstance by generations. (这段写得有点像argu?)

In conclusion, socialization means a lot in the education for children. It helps to shape more educated and qulified (qualified) leaders and citizens in the future who finally determines (determine) the destiny of our society jointly. So, it’s no wonder that many countries think highly of their education system and commit to provide better education for children-who are destined to become the backbones of a nation when they grow up.

全篇都是赞成题目的论点。不过能不能稍稍改下错的单词？

luyaoxuUID: 2588850

我传了草稿，开头两端是该删掉的， 真对不起，让你改了那么多单词问题，下次一定注意，辛苦了~

我写的是完全同意的观点，很吃力，换个观点可能好写些，我现在对ISSUE立论还不太会呢。

waidswUID: 2256074

It is of no difficulty to discover that the author’s assertion concerns dual significant problems: the socialization of children and education on which contemporary governments places more and more emphasis.

Children are the future of our society. Just through education to some extent, we impart to the next generation not only the knowledge known by contemporary but more importantly the ability to think and behave independantly when he or she enters the society.

I strongly agree with the speaker’s claim that the society’s future hinges on the socialization of our children ruling out many other possible factors. Without doubt, children are the future of our society. We place much hope and expectation on our children, believing in they will build a more just and more harmonious world. Accodingly education of children has an immense impact on the human society. One can safely assume that a person is not in the proper sense till he is educated (what is this mean? It is kind of discrimination). However, education has always been a complicated system that many countries have been making progress and seeking for improvement.

Socialization palys a significant role in education for children when they grow up. ( Socialization plays a significant role in child education.) In primary socialization, children learn through eating, hygiene, dressing, which usually happens at home. on the basis of mastering the basic skills, the children can get rid of parents’ help step by step and take good care of themselves finally. When they grow up, they can also undertake the great responsibilities to bring up next generation which means a lot in terms of Darwin’s evolution theory. During secondary socialization, children learn to act as a group member and learn skills and lessons to be accepted as a social member, such as working at church, participating in extra curricular activities. Since we humans are social in the essence, these capabilities have a profound influence on children’s afterward lives. By connecting and interacting with sourounding people, the children form the sence of personal identity gradually. Similarly, through being with others friendly, the children foster traditional values such as friendship and loyalty and so on. Taking part in different groups is also benificial to enhance mutual understanding between children. In short, the socialization process helps to shape the children’s good character and effective communitive skills to say the least.

Admittedly, some one may argue that there are many other factors such as the economy, environment or political policy that may determine the destiny of society. I concede that it’s just we human who make decisions to propagate the tendency of affairs in all sphere of life. In socilization realm, the essence is to teach children to “think before act”. Generally, think what you are going to do carefully and then carry it out. A leader who gets accustomed to think calmly and responsibily before making decisions usually make wiser ones than those who rushes to come a conclusion. In specific, a diplomat with a mutual undestanding faciliates adressing foreign affairs more effectively on the base of deplomatic devices. Apprehending the consummers’ mental state and communicative skills will undoubtedly benefit a business leader in making sales policies in order to win more profits. Therefore only with wiser leaders and more socialed citizens can we create a much better world in the future together. And it’s the very education of socialization for our children that provides a chance to improve the circumstance by generations. (I think this paragraph doesn’t hit the point. I think you should admit there are other factors which can influence the destiny of society)

In conclusion, socialization means a lot in the education for children. It helps to shape more educated and qulified leaders and citizens in the future who finally determines the destiny of our society jointly. So, it’s no wonder that many countries think highly of their education system and commit to provide better education for children-who are destined to become the backbones of a nation when they grow up.


The author said we haven’t learnt how to raise children effectively.  You haven’t mentioned this part. You haven’t mentioned any of it. And you don’t need to state precisely all states of socialization a child went through. Be concise and stick to the point.