ISSUE143【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I BY cmj

ddcmj519UID: 176326

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
------ Auguries of Innocence, William Blake

From the first time human carved painting in the cave, art, with a growing range of elements with time, has always been a theme of life as a way to express and communicate. For thousands of years, art, originally applied by the caveman to record their ownership has now mainly noticed as vehicles of ideas, a grain of sand in world, or a wild flower with heaven. Till now, art is involved in a variety of fields, typical as novels, paintings and music. To decorate houses, people brush the wall; to relax from burdens, people turn to their iPod; to fly their imagination, people open novels. Besides art in life, art in gallery also arouse people’s eyes keen on it, concerning the great and ever-lasting value of the masterpieces of Van Gogh, William Blake and many. And who decide the value? Critics. Mention it or not, HOW people choose their favorite ones from the boundless pool of art was affected by them unconsciously. It is they, the critics set out the criteria of the value, although they are not always right.

Critics, as their name, seem to play an evil role in the development of art with acerbic words and bias judgments. People with some knowledge of some artists tend to conclude that critics are improvident as they showed no interests in artists like Van Gogh who had sold out ONLY one picture in his lifetime but later all are very well preserved with respect. We should understand them. In such a different position, critics must think over and over before they finally acclaim their critiques: art collectors and patrons often utilize critics’ advice as a way to enhance their appreciation of the art they are viewing.To fulfill this accomplishment, professional art critics are expected to have a keen eye for art and a thorough knowledge of art history. Knowledge, however, provides no guarantee that a critic will know if a work of art an exhibition, or an artist will stand out in history as "great". Prudent as the critics, sometimes they are not able to recognize those celebrated ones at their time, especially in the time of Renaissance, the “baby boom” period of artists. But surely they can locate potential ones as Roger Fry did it. The first figure to raise public awareness of modern art in Britain, Roger was described as a pioneer of Post-impression art movement that changed taste of the all. See? Critics can do more than criticize.

Knowing critics to this degree, who now seriously view them as prohibitors of development? They are doing their job. So are the artists. Artists nowadays values money more than the spirit of art. They sometimes change their style just to cater to public, hoping to earn more money with the praise of all. It is said in China, a famous artist will not be noted within a year. Commercial speculation has taken the role of critics gradually. Compared with the time of Renaissance, opportunists produced by factories of society congest the field of art rather than hardworking ones. These opportunists concentrate on how to make money and simply forget the orientation of art, to express, to mirror the society. A picture drawn with the desire of money should be condemned by critics. And that is what critics working for, to discard the dross and select the essence. Although they sometimes are not able to navigate the development, they surely keep the fake out of the door. With their knowledge in this field, they are the mirror for artists to know themselves better. Critics are the telescope to discover the world from a grain of sand; they are the developer to bring out the heaven in wild flower; they may not find the eternity in the art products, but the artists do hold the infinity in their hands.

So why should artists ignore those who may guide the road? Even they give the wrong critique, why not listen to a different voice? Since it is much better with objections to figure the leading road than to lose in the world of oneself.

难产的第一篇。昨晚+今早都耗在wiki和baidu上了。这个纠结哇。。纠结到最后就是写完才反应过来好像有点偏题了。。伤心。。结尾段实在写不下去了。已经700+了。。。。。。崩溃。。。。我怎么一点都没觉得超脱哇。。只是觉得。。以后的路惨了。。扯回。一开始引那个诗是想一直用的。。结果到最后结尾才想起来。。将就吧。。写到最后我自己都混乱了。。哎。。辛苦改的人了~

ddcmj519UID: 176326

143"Artists should pay little attention to their critics.* Criticism tends to undermine and constrain the artist's creativity."
*those who evaluate works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
key:
artist (creativity) -----little attention-----critics (constrain)
这样看来，首先得追究下这个artist creativity
----------------------主要是指哪些个方面，从何而来，为何而去，有何社会影响。
在关注下critics 是如何constrain的
---------------------为什么要constrain，有何社会影响

============艺术家为什么要听/不听他们的。

改一：
From the first time human carved painting in the cave, art, with a growing range of elements with time, has always been a theme of life as a way to express and communicate. For thousands of years, art, originally applied to record ownership has now mainly noticed as vehicles of ideas. Till now, artists are involved in a variety of fields, typical as novelists, painters and musicians. They together nurture the growth of aesthetics in a society burdened with machines. They work with the most of their creativity to voice out the truth of life and the defects of the way we live. They record how we pace in the development through their personal perspective. However, the world may change when put into the society, especially when there are critics.

Critics, as their name, seem to play an evil role in the development of art with acerbic words and bias judgments. People with some knowledge of some artists tend to conclude that critics are improvident as they showed no interests in artists like Van Gogh who had sold out only one picture in his lifetime but later all are very well preserved with respect. They should be understood. In such a different position, critics must balance the history and the present trends before they finally acclaim their critiques with all their knowledge. Knowledge, however, provides no guarantee that a critic will know if a work of art, an exhibition, or an artist will stand out in history as "great". Prudent as the critics, sometimes they are not able to recognize those celebrated ones at their time, especially in the time of Renaissance, the “baby boom” period of artists. Maybe it is because of so much ignorant cases during this that causes people nowadays doubt the optimistic side of critics. But surely they can locate potential ones as Roger Fry did it. The first figure to raise public awareness of modern art in Britain, Roger was described as a pioneer of Post-impression art movement that changed taste of the all. See? Critics can do more than criticize.

Knowing critics to this degree, who now seriously view them as prohibitor of progress? They are simply doing their job and crying out their own pinion. So are the artists. Some artists nowadays values money more than the spirit of art. They sometimes change their style just to cater to public, hoping to earn more money with the praise of all. It is said in China that a famous artist will not be noted within a year, for commercial speculation has taken the role of critics gradually. Compared with the time of Renaissance, opportunists produced by factories of society congest the field of art rather than hardworking ones. These opportunists concentrate on how to make money and simply forget the orientation of art, to express, to mirror the society. A picture drawn with the desire of money should be condemned by critics. And that is what critics working for, to discard the dross and select the essence. Although they sometimes are not able to navigate the development, they surely keep the fake out of the door. With their knowledge in this field, they are the mirror for artists to know themselves better. For the personal development of artists, no wonder that viewpoints reflecting another side may take something mixed with merit and evil.

In this way, why should artists ignore those who may guide the road? Even they give the wrong critique, why not listen to a different voice? Since it is much better with objections to figure the leading road than to lose in the world of oneself. Critics are the telescope to discover the world from a grain of sand; they are the developer to bring out the heaven in wild flower; they may not find the eternity in the art products, but the artists do hold the infinite creativity in their hands to create a colorful world. Only when there are milestones set by critics, the infinity will not confuse artists.



改了下。还是很心死哇。。看了下众人的。。貌似人家写的都是标准议论文格式。。。我在这写了个XX的XX格式。。我自己都定义不出来- -
另外改的时候本想写JK rowling 的，结果发现塞不进去了。。只好旧旧的两个例子。。纠结哇。。改大家的时候俺会顺便积累的~！
哎。路漫漫其修远哇~
现在不满江红何时满江红？辛苦改俺文的同学啦~

天天添添UID: 2599433

From(是不是用since更恰当？) the first time human carved painting in the cave, art, with a growing range of elements with time, has always been a theme of life as a way to express and communicate. For thousands of years, art, originally applied to record ownership has now mainly noticed as vehicles of ideas. (art has noticed as vehicles of ideas这句话好像有点问题)Till now, artists are involved in a variety of fields, typical as novelists, painters and musicians. They together nurture the growth of aesthetics in a society burdened with machines. They work with the most of their creativity to voice out the truth of life and the defects of the way we live. They record how we pace in the development through their personal perspective. However,the world may change when put into the society, especially when there are critics.（这段前面讲艺术和艺术家的作用，但这最后一句话让人有点摸不着头脑。）

Critics, as their name, seem to play an
evil（我觉得这里用这个词汇不是很恰，感觉作者对批评家带有过多的偏见） role in the development of art with acerbic words and bias judgments. People with some knowledge of some artists tend to conclude that critics are improvident（查了韦氏、牛津和朗文，觉得这个词这样用不恰当） as they showed no interestsin artists like Van Gogh（怎么和我一样首先想到的都是这鸟人） who had sold out only onepicture in his lifetime but later all are very well preserved with respect. （觉得有点问题。They是什么上文中没有提到）They should be understood. （同上句）In such a different position, critics must balance the history（平衡历史，我觉得这样提不是很恰当） and the present trends before they finallyacclaim their critiques with all their knowledge. （我觉得这里这样提不恰当。梵高的作品卖不出去是因为他的作品不被理解，不是批评家的人品问题，而是水平问题。Balance是做不到的）Knowledge, however, provides no guarantee that a critic will knowif a work of art, an exhibition, or an artist will stand out in history as"great". （抄袭，哈哈哈）Prudent as the critics,sometimes they are not able to recognize those celebrated ones at their time, especiallyin the time of Renaissance, the “baby boom” period of artists. Maybe it isbecause of so much(many)ignorant casesduring this（是不是加个time？） that causes people nowadaysdoubt the optimistic side of critics. But surely they can locate potential onesas
Roger Fry didit.（不恰当。Roger应该是被locate而不是他did it）
The first figure to raise public awareness of modern art in Britain, Roger wasdescribed as a pioneer of Post-impression art movement that changed taste ofthe all. See? Critics can do more than criticize.（这段话是对批评家的水平表示怀疑）

Knowing critics to this degree, who now seriouslyview them as prohibitor of progress? （这句话，总觉得不对，又说不好是哪里不对）They are simply doing theirjob and crying out their own pinion.（opinion） Soare the artists. Some artists nowadays values money more than the spirit ofart. They sometimes change their style just to cater to public, hoping to earnmore money with the praise of all. It is said in China that a famous artistwill not be noted within a year, for commercial speculation has taken the roleof critics gradually. （举这个例子目的不太明确）Compared with the time ofRenaissance, opportunists produced by factories of society congest the field ofart rather than hardworking ones. These opportunists concentrate on how to makemoney and simply forget the orientation of art, to express, to mirror thesociety. A picture drawn with the desire of money should be condemned bycritics. And that is what critics working for, to discard the dross and selectthe essence. Although they sometimes are not able to navigate the development,they surely keep the fake out of the door. With their knowledge in this field,they are the mirror for artists to know themselves better. For the personaldevelopment of artists, no wonder that viewpoints reflecting another side maytake something mixed with merit and evil. （这段话说艺术家可能受到批评家的影响而放弃自己的东西）

In this way, why should artists ignore those who mayguide the road? Even they give the wrong critique, why not listen to adifferent voice? Since it is much better with objections to figure the leadingroad than to lose in the world of oneself. Critics are the telescope todiscover the world from a grain of sand; they are the developer to bring outthe heaven in wild flower; they may not find the eternity in the art products,but the artists do hold the infinite creativity in their hands to create acolorful world. Only when there are milestones set by critics,the infinity will not confuse artists.
1、这篇文章是要说明为什么艺术家不应该太重视批评家的批评，更多的应该站在艺术家角度来看。明显这一点作者做得不太好。
2、有些地方语言有点生硬，但又好像有没有什么问题，这点跟我差不多。什么时候我们去问问老大怎样才能把这个缺点改一下。

红色代表批评，蓝色是中性评价。批评仅代表我不同意你的观点，不代表你是错误的。我只是是critic而已，你是artist。

ddcmj519UID: 176326

这段话是对批评家的水平表示怀疑

其实我是想说critics有他们的局限性。。

art has noticed as vehicles of ideas

小比喻了一下。。看来不是很妥当。。

joyceww88UID: 2599492

From the first time human carved painting in the cave, art, with a growing range of elements with time, has always been a theme of life as a way to express and communicate. For thousands of years, art, originally applied to record ownership has now mainly noticed as vehicles of ideas. Till now, artists are involved in a variety of fields, typical as novelists, painters and musicians. They together nurture the growth of aesthetics in a society burdened with machines. They work with the most of their creativity to voice out the truth of life and the defects of the way we live. They record how we pace in the development through their personal perspective. However, the world may change when put into the society, especially when there are critics.（开头写得有自己风格，完全没有现在所说的模板的束缚，赞一个。作者的观点在第一段貌似读不出来，不过留有悬念貌似是好的，不知道开头就明确摆出自己的观点好还是这样出新的开头好）

Critics, as their name, seem to play an evil role in the development of art with acerbic words and bias judgments. （critic就是评论家吧，反正看wikipedia是这么解释的。不知道是不是因为这个词中译英的关系，给我们一种批评家evil role的感觉，如果是，那么我觉得那句seem to不妥，。如果是由批评家这个意思发展来的，就当我没说吧呵呵）People with some knowledge of some artists tend to conclude that critics are improvident as they showed no interests in artists like Van Gogh who had sold out only one picture in his lifetime but later all are very well preserved with respect. They should be understood. （they这里指代不明。我不记得在哪看过，说美国人的逻辑···最好不要用那么多这样的指代，不过这说法不一定权威）In such a different position, critics must balance the history and the present trends before they finally acclaim their critiques with all their knowledge. Knowledge, however, provides no guarantee that a critic will know if a work of art, an exhibition, or an artist will stand out in history as "great". Prudent as the critics, sometimes they are not able to recognize those celebrated ones at their time, especially in the time of Renaissance, the “baby boom” period of artists.(后面两句观点阐明的很清楚，但是还是没看明白这跟balance the history and the present trends有什么关系，个人感觉能否balance是能力问题，不是态度问题) Maybe it is because of so much ignorant cases during this that causes people nowadays doubt the optimistic side of critics. But surely they can locate potential ones（说的太过绝对，虽然下面有例子证明，但是用个例证明这么绝对的话感觉让人不是很信服） as Roger Fry did it. The first figure to raise public awareness of modern art in Britain, Roger was described as a pioneer of Post-impression art movement that changed taste of the all. See? Critics can do more than criticize.

Knowing critics to this degree, who now seriously view them as prohibitor of progress? They are simply doing their job and crying out their own pinion.（个人感觉这句也说得主观了一些吧） So are the artists. Some artists nowadays values money more than the spirit of art. They sometimes change their style just to cater to public, hoping to earn more money with the praise of all. It is said in China that a famous artist will not be noted within a year, for commercial speculation has taken the role of critics gradually. （it's said 是据说的意思么，这样当例子会不会没有说服力）Compared with the time of Renaissance, opportunists produced by factories of society congest the field of art rather than hardworking ones. These opportunists concentrate on how to make money and simply forget the orientation of art, to express, to mirror the society. A picture drawn with the desire of money should be condemned by critics. And that is what critics working for, to discard the dross and select the essence. Although they sometimes are not able to navigate the development, they surely keep the fake out of the door. （这句仍然感觉主观了一些，critic都能这样么）With their knowledge in this field, they are the mirror for artists to know themselves better. For the personal development of artists, no wonder that viewpoints reflecting another side may take something mixed with merit and evil.

In this way, why should artists ignore those who may guide the road? Even they give the wrong critique, why not listen to a different voice? Since it is much better with objections to figure the leading road than to lose in the world of oneself. Critics are the telescope to discover the world from a grain of sand; they are the developer to bring out the heaven in wild flower; they may not find the eternity in the art products, but the artists do hold the infinite creativity in their hands to create a colorful world. Only when there are milestones set by critics, the infinity will not confuse artists.


作者对句子和单词的驾驭能力是我无法企及的。说实话，单词的用法很微妙，所以我也没有任何发言权，觉得奇怪的地方绝大多数情况是我不地道（没任何其他意思，我是很诚心这么说的）所以对于单词和句子，我就不改了，很可能把作者对的改错了。特别是一看完作者给我改的文后，就决定对于作者的句子，我不改了呵呵
仅仅对作者在文中的论证或提出的观点表达了一些自己的意见，仅仅是自己的意见，无关对错
总体：作者一开始也有体现出critic得局限性，但整体上是赞他们的。大的方向赞同的前提下提出些少量反对使文章更饱满，也更客观公平。不过感觉后面的赞同有点让我不是很欣然接受。比如带了surely的那两个句子，就让我觉得太过绝对化，现实中的critic还是有很多吹毛求疵或者以打击人为乐的“不良分子”的。当然，在这样的时间和字数下，要想面面俱到是不可能的，而且容易让文章流于平庸没有观点的状态。所以作者坚定的表达自己观点是很可取的，只是能否换种表达方式让人更容易接受一点。至于是什么样的表达方式，我也不知道，只是觉得话说的太绝对了不好······
还有，看到作者给我改的文，再看看作者的文，确实是用起例子来应该言简意赅一些，大段堆砌例子没有意义，这一点作者做得很好。既支持了自己的论点，又没有使例子喧宾夺主。只是中间有一个例子没读明白，在文中已经指出了

天天添添UID: 2599433

其实我是想说critics有他们的局限性。。

其实我想表达的就是这个意思啦。我是个英语和汉语都没学好的人，批评的不恰当还请楼主指出来啦。:)