对照着“identify key or essential questions”“ what you believe and what you intend to prove”,结合AW INTRO中看了各分数段的ISSUE和ARGUMENT,现摘抄如下并作简略说明,希望能帮到大家!
(忍不住把AW INTRO的范文再看了一次,这次结合THESIS句,体会其功能,横向比较,体会其在文中的细微之处,COOL~~)
ISSUE
(6分)Both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists. (平衡观点)
(5分)But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things.(倾向于专才,并且后文TS都以Specialists开头,并且每个BUT后都是Specialists)
(4分)Isn't it better to really know something well, than to know everything half-way.(强调专才,反问句。然而后文却又将专才和通才放在平等位置,所以Reader Commentary for Essay Response中才说一开始Confusing attempt to define,然后第二段才定义好专才,直到最后一段才Become Clear。这间接说明了这篇4分作文并没有很好地利用Thesis句。吸取教训,我们应当力求Thesis句写清楚。)
(3分)Clearly a specialist would do the better job and give the patient a chance at a better life.(ETS评语中说道The writer's position is clear: specialists are important and necessary.即肯定了这个THESIS句的作用。只可惜这篇文章没有很好地REASON和EXAMPLE来支撑这个POSITION)
这里我们发现,ETS做了一个定义,THESIS的意思还包括Position,即本篇Effective Writing中提到的what you believe and what you intend to prove
(2,1分)没有区分THESIS句的意识,只是整一段都表述POSITION而已。ETS也提底呕埃了。
综上所述,ETS很重视POSITION,而POSITION则在THESIS句中体现。5分作文是好范例,尽管2/3的篇幅都在讲GENERALISTS,不过一个“BUT”,一个显眼的位置(第一段最后一句),就告诉了阅卷人,What I believe and what I intend to prove is specialists.
Argument
(6分)However, the conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reduces the risk of being severely injured inan accident may mask other (and potentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear.(提及了题目的结论,然后直接说出装备不是唯一受伤的原因,存在平行的或更为重要的他因;同时顺水推舟说万一大家相信了、接受了(Adoping)这个结论作将有一个不好的后果——人民可能会背鼓动去过度投资和过度信赖保护性装备。这句THESIS需结合全文好好体会,好好体会文中的“他因”、“替代方案”、“恶劣后果”。这~~就是传说中的“内牛满面”~~太感动了。。文章牛,还要连带分析过程都体现在最重要的THESIS里一个不漏,直接告诉别人我就是个牛人!这概括性~~感动~~泪流满面!记下一笔,好好体会!!!)
(5分)The argument presented is limited but useful.(这篇5分作文段落有点奇怪,不过第一句直接表明立场,明显这句就是THESIS句。直接也不是不好,不过就显得没那么漂亮。)
(4分)The statistics quoted are vague and inconclusive。(ETS评语就是根据这句话说“This adequate response targets the argument's vague and inconclusive "statistics."” ETS居然头也不回直接COPY下来,看得出,ETS有多么看重THESIS句。。。)
(3分)The arguement is well presented and supported, but not completely well reasoned. It is clear and conciselywritten. The content is logically and smoothly presented. Statistics cited are used to develop support for the recommendation, that roller skaters who invest in protective gear and reflective equipment can reduce their risk of severe, accidental injuries.
(并而来想忽略掉这么模板化的THESIS,不过马上发现ETS的评语,“but limited response merely describes the argument.”
请参照6分作文,我们所要学的是如何fully describes the argument)
(2分,1分)此两篇请允许我忽略。。。I do not think they are writing an argument.
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(举手发问)ISSUE的THESIS中要不要罗列下文的MAIN REASONS (IN ORDER)?
Questions to ask yourself when writing an argumentative thesis statement:
·
What is my claim or assertion?
·
What are the reasons I have to support my claim or assertion?
·
In what order should I present my reasons?
对于ARGUMENT而言,可具体参照6分的例子是如何Claim(同意还是不同意)、如何Main reasons(他因、替代方案、恶劣后果)并Put In Order.
对于ISSUE而言,就AW INTRO的范文而言,THESIS句并没有直接提到Main Reasons. 除了6分作文稍微提到Positive and negative effects稍微暗示下文将正反论述外,其余THESIS句均没提及Main reasons.
在我看来一篇文章支撑THESIS的Main Reasons就是下文的Topic Sentence,似乎没有特意在手段中撰写Main reasons。
P.S. College writing skills with reading 范文THESIS句
Thesis: While I love movies as much as ever, the inconvenience of going out, the temptations of the theater, and the behavior of some patrons are reasons for me to wait and rent the vedio.
TS1 To begin with, I just don't enjoy the general hassle of the evening.
TS2 Second, the theater offers tempting snacks that I really don't need.
TS3 Many of the other patrons are even more of a problem than the concession stand.
Conclusion Review
I was tired of the problems involved in getting to the theater, resisting, unhealthy snacks, and dealing with the patrons.
但是这篇College writing skills with reading的范文中,发现首段Introduction都会抽象出几个词概括Main Reasons,下文则是对这几个词的重述细说,范文结构异常漂亮。
那对于ISSUE而言THESIS句究竟是否需要囊括Main reasons呢?
疑问ing,恳切希望草木斑解答一下