Issues144 @@A DREAM @@小组第2次作业 bynicoleq(廿廿)

nicoleqUID: 2626973

What is lasting value for artists and critics? It should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy.

Artists who are called "engineers of the human soul" play important social role. A great artist is just a greater thinker. An artist’s works can sooth the breast as well as they also can inspire the spirit; they are able to let a man indifferent to fame or benefit while they are able to make a man turbulent; they can enhance the tastes of a era while they can corrupt the tastes of a time; they are able to act as a lubricant for the society as well as also can act as a friction for the society. A great artist’s works should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. For instance, Nikolay Gogol，French critical realism writer whose works, mainly realistic novel such as “Dead Souls” reveal the brutal censorship imposed upon the great Russian Empire of Gogol's time by its feudal lords and masters is comparable in our time to only that imposed upon the peoples of certain Fascist states. In “Dead Souls” he characters a series of impressions, for example, his central character Tchichikov shows forth the vices and failings, rather than the merits and virtues of the commonplace Russian individual which reflect the fact and enlighten the Russian.

Critics can provide progressive and constructive criticisms for artists will contribution to our artistic development. For instance, the flourish of critical realism literature in Russia during nineteen century relate directly to these democratism critic such as Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich; Chernyshevsky, Nikolay Gavrilovich; Dobroliubov, Nikolai Alexandrovich and so on. Especially Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich, eminent Russian literary critic who is often called the "father" of the Russian radical intelligentsia. Belinsky's perceptive praise of such writers as Pushkin, Gogol, Mikhail Lermontov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ivan Turgenev, and Ivan Goncharov helped establish their early reputations. He laid the foundation for modern Russian literary criticism in his belief that Russian literature should honestly reflect Russian reality and that art should be judged for its social as well as its aesthetic qualities. His theory of literature in the service of society became an article of faith among Russian liberals and was the distant progenitor of the Soviets’ doctrine of Socialist Realism.

A critic who evaluates works of art serves as a filter which helps us determine which art is worth our contemporary time and attention. This work can help us understand and interpret art. An excellent artistic work may appreciate hardly for reader causes by many factors such as time; class; artistic form etc. It is mean need critic's comment to throw off the reserve. So, the critic likes a bridge between appreciator and artist. In the word of the master of literature Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaevich, "After reading the article which praises Pushkin's works by Belinsky then I have real comprehension of Pushkin's article."

Artists and critics are all important for social development. As time passes, the greatest artistic works are those which are created by artists and evaluate by critics which draw people’s attention towards those works.

112810asUID: 2646494

What is lasting value for artists and critics? It should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy.(第一段未写明你的观点，对题目是赞同还是否定等)

Artists who are called "engineers of the human soul" play important social role. A great artist is just a greater thinker（这句话有是什么作用？没看懂和后面的联系）. An artist’s works can sooth the breast as well as they also can inspire the spirit; they are able to let a man indifferent to fame or benefit while they are able to make a man turbulent; they can enhance the tastes of a era while they can corrupt the tastes of a time; they are able to act as a lubricant for the society as well as also can act as a friction for the society. A great artist’s works should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. For instance, Nikolay Gogol，French critical realism writer whose works, mainly realistic novel such as “Dead Souls” reveal the brutal censorship imposed upon the great Russian Empire of Gogol's time by its feudal lords and masters is comparable in our time to only that imposed upon the peoples of certain Fascist states. In “Dead Souls” he characters a series of impressions, for example, his central character Tchichikov shows forth the vices and failings, rather than the merits and virtues of the commonplace Russian individual which reflect the fact and enlighten the Russian.

Critics can provide progressive and constructive criticisms for artists will contribution to our artistic development. For instance, the flourish of critical realism literature in Russia during nineteen century relate directly to these democratism critic such as Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich; Chernyshevsky, Nikolay Gavrilovich; Dobroliubov, Nikolai Alexandrovich and so on. Especially Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich, eminent Russian literary critic who is often called the "father" of the Russian radical intelligentsia. Belinsky's perceptive praise of such writers as Pushkin, Gogol, Mikhail Lermontov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ivan Turgenev, and Ivan Goncharov helped establish their early reputations. He laid the foundation for modern Russian literary criticism in his belief that Russian literature should honestly reflect Russian reality and that art should be judged for its social as well as its aesthetic qualities. His theory of literature in the service of society became an article of faith among Russian liberals and was the distant progenitor of the Soviets’ doctrine of Socialist Realism.

A critic who evaluates works of art serves as a filter which helps us determine which art is worth our contemporary time and attention. This work can help us understand and interpret art. An excellent artistic work may appreciate hardly for reader causes by many factors such as time; class; artistic form etc. It is mean need critic's comment to throw off the reserve. So, the critic likes a bridge between appreciator and artist. In the word of the master of literature Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaevich, "After reading the article which praises Pushkin's works by Belinsky then I have real comprehension of Pushkin's article."(感觉这两段没有突出a和c对于lasting value的作用，能看出来，但是感觉没突出)

Artists and critics are all important for social development. As time passes, the greatest artistic works are those which are created by artists and evaluate by critics which draw people’s attention towards those works.

就是第一段没有突出你的观点，后面的例子不错

wobaobao519UID: 2605404

What is lasting value for artists and critics? It should （should?）reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy.（我觉得可能还是直接的提出自己的观点会直白点，感觉上要和题目上挂钩的话，这里还需要读者多转会脑子的，还有开头的作用是总起全文，让读者有一个outline 这篇文章要讲什么，分几个东西讲，刚好刚刚看了些草木的fundamental course 中的主题句部分，建议楼主也去看看） Artists who are called who are called "engineers of the human soul" play important social role. A great artist is just a greater thinker. An artist’s works can sooth （soomth）the breast as well as they also (also 和as well as 是重复的？)can inspire the spirit; they are able to let a man indifferent to fame or benefit while they are able to make a man turbulent; they can enhance the tastes of a era while they can corrupt the tastes of a time; they are able to act as a lubricant for the society as well as also（？我不是很熟悉这样的用法） can act as a friction for the society. A great artist’s works should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. For instance, Nikolay Gogol，French critical realism writer whose works, mainly realistic novel such as “Dead Souls” reveal the brutal censorship imposed upon the great Russian Empire of Gogol's time by its feudal lords and masters is comparable in our time to only that imposed upon the peoples of certain Fascist states. In “Dead Souls” he characters a series of impressions, for example, his central character Tchichikov shows forth the vices and failings, rather than the merits and virtues of the commonplace Russian individual which reflect the fact and enlighten the Russian.

Critics can provide progressive and constructive criticisms for artists will contribution to our artistic development. For instance, the flourish of critical realism literature in Russia during nineteen century relate directly to these democratism critic such as Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich; Chernyshevsky, Nikolay Gavrilovich; Dobroliubov, Nikolai Alexandrovich （问一下，这些人名全是你当场写出来的嘛？佩服佩服！！）and so on. Especially Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich, eminent Russian literary critic who is often called the "father" of the Russian radical intelligentsia. Belinsky's perceptive praise of such writers as Pushkin, Gogol, Mikhail Lermontov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ivan Turgenev, and Ivan Goncharov helped establish their early reputations. He laid the foundation for modern Russian literary criticism in his belief that Russian literature should honestly reflect Russian reality and that art should be judged for its social as well as its aesthetic qualities. His theory of literature in the service of society became an article of faith among Russian liberals and was the distant progenitor of the Soviets’ doctrine of Socialist Realism.

A critic who evaluates works of art serves as a filter which helps us determine which art is worth our contemporary time and attention. This work can help us understand and interpret art. （呵呵，范文里的句子，呵呵，看着亲切啊）An excellent artistic work may appreciate hardly for reader causes by many factors such as time; class; artistic form etc. It is mean need critic's comment to throw off the reserve.（这句有问题把？） So, the critic likes a bridge between appreciator and artist. In the word of the master of literature Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaevich, "After reading the article which praises Pushkin's works by Belinsky then I have real comprehension of Pushkin's article."（我觉得楼主可以在摆出例子之后在进行一番有针对性的分析，这样应该会更好点）

Artists and critics are all important for social development. As time passes, the greatest artistic works are those which are created by artists and evaluate （evaluated）by critics which draw people’s attention towards those works(觉得这里的towards those works 和前面的主语是重复的，这样是不是更好些？).


总评：我觉得楼主在例子方面的新颖和和搜集是很不错的，（这里狂批下自己，很懒~，向楼主学习！），如果在有这么多例子的时候，在适当的加入一些分析来可能会更好点，还有楼主的开头，稍微的注意一下把。
PS：我也是刚刚开始，很多都不会，还请楼主多多指教啊，大家一起进步！！

robertxjUID: 2645881

What is lasting value for artists and critics? It should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy.(感觉没有正面表明自己的观点。。。让人担心后面会跑题。。。)

Artists who are called "engineers of the human soul" play important social role. A great artist is just a greater thinker. An artist’s works can sooth the breast （没看明白sooth?breast?）as well as they also can inspire the spirit; they are able to let a man indifferent to fame or benefit while they are able to make a man turbulent; they can enhance the tastes of a era while they can corrupt the tastes of a time; they are able to act as a lubricant for the society as well as also can act as a friction for the society. A great artist’s works should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. For instance, Nikolay Gogol，French critical realism writer whose works, mainly realistic novel such as “Dead Souls” reveal the brutal censorship imposed upon the great Russian Empire of Gogol's time by its feudal lords and masters is comparable in our time to only that imposed upon the peoples of certain Fascist states. In “Dead Souls” he characters a series of impressions, for example, his central character Tchichikov shows forth the vices and failings, rather than the merits and virtues of the commonplace Russian individual which reflect the fact and enlighten the Russian.

Critics can provide progressive and constructive criticisms for artists will contribution to our artistic development. For instance, the flourish of critical realism literature in Russia during nineteen century relate directly to these democratism critic such as Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich; Chernyshevsky, Nikolay Gavrilovich; Dobroliubov, Nikolai Alexandrovich and so on. Especially Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich, eminent Russian literary critic who is often called the "father" of the Russian radical intelligentsia. Belinsky's perceptive praise of such writers as Pushkin, Gogol, Mikhail Lermontov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ivan Turgenev, and Ivan Goncharov helped establish their early reputations. He laid the foundation for modern Russian literary criticism in his belief that Russian literature should honestly reflect Russian reality and that art should be judged for its social as well as its aesthetic qualities. His theory of literature in the service of society became an article of faith among Russian liberals and was the distant progenitor of the Soviets’ doctrine of Socialist Realism.

A critic who evaluates works of art serves as a filter which helps us determine which art is worth our contemporary time and attention. This work can help us understand and interpret art. An excellent artistic work may appreciate hardly for reader causes by many factors such as time; class; artistic form etc. It is mean need critic's comment to throw off the reserve. So, the critic likes a bridge between appreciator and artist. In the word of the master of literature Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaevich, "After reading the article which praises Pushkin's works by Belinsky then I have real comprehension of Pushkin's article."

Artists and critics are all important for social development. As time passes, the greatest artistic works are those which are created by artists and evaluate by critics which draw people’s attention towards those works.
感觉你例子举得挺多也挺好，不过有点为了举例子而举例子，说理的地方少了一些，这么多例子，却没有让人信服的感觉，应该把对例子的分析，结合自己的观点，多写一些，恩，个人意见~呵呵，另外，题目扣的不是太紧。。。不知道跑题不跑题是怎么个度。。。

nicoleqUID: 2626973

感谢下先~我明白我的欠缺了：论证力度不足！！观点不明确！

nicoleqUID: 2626973

修改后：
What is lasting value for artists and critics? It should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. If yours works can meet the requirements, you can give society something of lasting value weather you are artist or critic.

Artists who are called "engineers of the human soul" play important social role. An artist’s works can sooth the breast as well as they also can inspire the spirit; they are able to let a man indifferent to fame or benefit while they are able to make a man turbulent; they can enhance the tastes of a era while they can corrupt the tastes of a time; they are able to act as a lubricant for the society as well as also can act as a friction for the society. A great artist’s works should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. For instance, Nikolay Gogol，French critical realism writer whose works, mainly realistic novel such as “Dead Souls” reveal the brutal censorship imposed upon the great Russian Empire of Gogol's time by its feudal lords and masters is comparable in our time to only that imposed upon the peoples of certain Fascist states. In “Dead Souls” he characters a series of impressions, for example, his central character Tchichikov shows forth the vices and failings, rather than the merits and virtues of the commonplace Russian individual which reflect the fact and enlighten the Russian.

Critics can provide progressive and constructive criticisms for artists will contribution to our artistic development. For instance, the flourish of critical realism literature in Russia during nineteen century relate directly to these democratism critic such as Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich; Chernyshevsky, Nikolay Gavrilovich; Dobroliubov, Nikolai Alexandrovich and so on. Especially Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich, eminent Russian literary critic who is often called the “father” of the Russian radical intelligentsia. Belinsky’s perceptive praise of such writers as Pushkin, Gogol, Mikhail Lermontov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ivan Turgenev, and Ivan Goncharov helped establish their early reputations. He laid the foundation for modern Russian literary criticism in his belief that Russian literature should honestly reflect Russian reality and that art should be judged for its social as well as its aesthetic qualities. His theory of literature in the service of society became an article of faith among Russian liberals and was the distant progenitor of the Soviets’ doctrine of Socialist Realism.

A critic who evaluates works of art serves as a filter which helps us determine which art is worth our contemporary time and attention. This work can help us understand and interpret art. An excellent artistic work may appreciate hardly for reader causes by many factors such as time, strata, artistic form etc. It is mean need critic’s comment to throw off the reserve. So, the critic likes a bridge between appreciator and artist. In the word of the master of literature Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaevich, “After reading the article which praises Pushkin’ works by Belinsky then I have real comprehension of Pushkin’s article.” Layman must need critic’s command while the master of literature need it .So, we can see that the critics also play an important social role.

Artists and critics are all important for social development. As time passes, the greatest artistic works are those which are created by artists and evaluate by critics which draw people’s attention towards them.

zdcforeverUID: 2641750

What is lasting value for artists and critics? （你完了，开头就跑题，lasting value的主体是something，再看看题干）It should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy（有待推敲，必须要反映客观吗？可以表现 the full panoply吗？）. If yours works（your works） can meet the requirements, you can give society something of lasting value weather you are artist or critic（建立在第二句正确的基础上）.

Artists who are called "engineers of the human soul" play important social role. An artist’s works can sooth the breast as well as they also can inspire the spirit; they are able to let a man indifferent to fame or benefit while they are able to make a man turbulent; they can enhance the tastes of a era while they can corrupt the tastes of a time; they are able to act as a lubricant for the society as well as also can act as a friction for the society. A great artist’s works should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy（太偷懒了，意思不变也要改改表达啊）（这段到这里为止为论述，并没有明确的表达出于lasting value的相关性）. For instance, Nikolay Gogol，French critical realism writer whose works, mainly realistic novel such as “Dead Souls” reveal the brutal censorship imposed upon the great Russian Empire of Gogol's time by its feudal lords and masters is comparable in our time to only that imposed upon the peoples of certain Fascist states. In “Dead Souls” he characters a series of impressions, for example, his central character Tchichikov shows forth the vices and failings, rather than the merits and virtues of the commonplace Russian individual which reflect the fact and enlighten the Russian.

Critics can provide progressive and constructive criticisms for artists will contribution to our artistic development. For instance, the flourish of critical realism literature in Russia during nineteen century relate directly to these democratism critic such as Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich; Chernyshevsky, Nikolay Gavrilovich; Dobroliubov, Nikolai Alexandrovich and so on. Especially Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich, eminent Russian literary critic who is often called the “father” of the Russian radical intelligentsia. Belinsky’s perceptive praise of such writers as Pushkin, Gogol, Mikhail Lermontov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ivan Turgenev, and Ivan Goncharov helped establish their early reputations. He laid the foundation for modern Russian literary criticism in his belief that Russian literature should honestly reflect Russian reality and that art should be judged for its social as well as its aesthetic qualities. His theory of literature in the service of society became an article of faith among Russian liberals and was the distant progenitor of the Soviets’ doctrine of Socialist Realism（我不大清楚例子在一段里占这么大比例到底好不好，不过分析可以适当加下，比如加在后面，用于使例子与本段中心句相结合，即验证例子）.

A critic who evaluates works of art serves as a filter which helps us determine which art is worth our contemporary time and attention. This work can help us understand and interpret art. An excellent artistic work may appreciate hardly for reader causes by many factors such as time, strata, artistic form etc. It is mean need critic’s comment to throw off the reserve. So, the critic likes a bridge between appreciator and artist. In the word of the master of literature Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaevich, “After reading the article which praises Pushkin’ works by Belinsky then I have real comprehension of Pushkin’s article.” Layman must need critic’s command while the master of literature need it .So, we can see that the critics also play an important social role（还是偏题，something是lasting value主题，而这里说的主要是critic的桥梁作用，并没有体现critic可以赋予something lasting value。或许您觉得能看懂才能有lasting value，但不是所有作品只要能看懂就能产生lasting value）.

Artists and critics are all important for social development. As time passes, the greatest artistic works are those which are created by artists and evaluate by critics which draw people’s attention towards them.

纯属打击报复，望楼主冷静，欢迎讨论，嘿嘿

kren_crazyUID: 2623887

:mad: What is lasting value for artists and（这用or比较合适，因为谁能带来lasting value还有待讨论呢，你这写了and 表明他们两个都可以带来lasting value，即使你的立场是他们都能，但这样有点唐突，有点sharp）critics? It should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. (对lasting value 作了一下界定，这比较好，我们几个都比较缺乏，因而有时候论证无力，泛泛而谈，没有明确的靶子；但如果从文章的结构分析，放错了位置，第一段最好直接表明自己的立场，或赞成、或反对、或中立。):curse:

Artists who are called "engineers of the human soul" play important social role（对artist 界定好啊，新颖，独到，有针对性，易于后面论证的展开，向你学习）:) . A great artist is just（这个词有点绝对，可以用something of 代替） a greater thinker. An artist’s works can sooth the breast as well as they also can inspire the spirit; they are able to let a man indifferent to fame or benefit while they are able to make a man turbulent; they can enhance the tastes of a era while they can corrupt the tastes of a time; they are able to act as a lubricant for the society as well as also（这两个放在一块貌似有点重复） can act as a friction for the society. A great artist’s works should reflect objective truth and the full panoply of human social background reality whatever it is nice or filthy. For instance, Nikolay Gogol，French critical realism writer whose works, mainly realistic novel such as “Dead Souls” reveal the brutal censorship imposed upon the great Russian Empire of Gogol's time by its feudal lords and masters is comparable in our time to only that imposed upon the peoples of certain Fascist states. In “Dead Souls” he characters a series of impressions, for example, his central character Tchichikov shows forth the vices and failings, rather than the merits and virtues of the commonplace Russian individual which reflect the fact and enlighten the Russian.（arts and artist 对社会的影响，作了比较深入的分析， 从而佐证了artist 对社会的深远的影响，这一点很好）

（这里用上个过渡连词比较好，逻辑清晰，过渡自然点）Critics can provide progressive and constructive criticisms for artists will contribution to our artistic development. For instance, the flourish of critical realism literature in Russia during nineteen century relate directly to these democratism critic such as Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich; Chernyshevsky, Nikolay Gavrilovich; Dobroliubov, Nikolai Alexandrovich and so on. Especially Belinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevich, eminent Russian literary critic who is often called the "father" of the Russian radical intelligentsia. Belinsky's perceptive praise of such writers as Pushkin, Gogol, Mikhail Lermontov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Ivan Turgenev, and Ivan Goncharov helped establish their early reputations. He laid the foundation for modern Russian literary criticism in his belief that Russian literature should honestly reflect Russian reality and that art should be judged for its social as well as its aesthetic qualities. His theory of literature in the service of society became an article of faith among Russian liberals and was the distant progenitor of the Soviets’ doctrine of Socialist Realism.（貌似这段有点废，关系不是很大，我觉得只需轻轻带过就行）:mad:

（过渡！过渡！）A critic who evaluates works of art serves as a filter which helps us determine which art is worth our contemporary time and attention. This work can help us understand and interpret art. An excellent artistic work may appreciate hardly for reader causes by many factors such as time; class; artistic form etc. It is mean need critic's comment to throw off the reserve. So, the critic likes a bridge between appreciator and artist. In the word of the master of literature Tolstoy, Lev Nikolaevich, "After reading the article which praises Pushkin's works by Belinsky then I have real comprehension of Pushkin's article."（参照你的lasting value 的界定，你这样阐述完好吗，前后思想一致否？请再思考一下）

Artists and critics are all important for social development. As time passes, the greatest artistic works are those which are created by artists and evaluate by critics which draw people’s attention towards those works.


总体上你的文章比我的好，特别有几个独到之处，对lasting value的界定，对artist的描述，但文中有一段好像与论证没有直接关系的对artist的描述，废话、空话。纯属凑字数用，我觉得应该严厉惩处; 还有段落之间的衔接问题:@ ，欢迎狠批

nicoleqUID: 2626973

这么多师傅给改作文。。。心里是感激不尽滴。。可是自己怎么修改啊~~~望指教哦：段落之间如何衔接？~~⊙﹏⊙b。