Issue130 @@ETERNITY @@小组第1次作业 by一片死白

一片死白UID: 2646811

130 How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.  

             we are always doing better
   It's a good phenomenon that more and more people recognize the importance of socializing children .But what the speaker asserted is really an over-statement .is how to socialize children the only life spring of society ?furthermore ,isn't there any attractive contribution made by the children raised under current education to the society?
   every child is a glittering pearl dispersing in the sea ,by being combined together they can shine the dazzling light .as the information and technique improve in a sonic rate ,children can find various entertainment just in a narrow computer room or toy room .letting them learn how to play with
fellows ,what's more ,cooperate with them ,is a formidable but essential task .how to socialize them ? by the roles they play in the social stage according to individual ability .however ,how much can one achieve in the group isn't only decided by the way of socialization but also the quality he equips which is the fundamental stone for children's life long road.
   the baton of society's destiny is hold in the hands of all-around development education .despite the basic knowledge,perseverance ,self-adjustment and ideas for innovation ,for instance ,are the rare characters for children to contribute to a better society ,without which it's hard to refer to the development of a society .comparing the society to a car running on the way ,every individual is the component ,no one can ensure the car would run persistently
and far though it has been assembled carefully ,for the gasoline，lubricant and driver are the decisive factors .perseverance is to maintain the vigor and function ,self-adjustment is to relieve the fatigue and pressure ,innovation is to steer the car in a right way .otherwise ,the vehicle would stall or break down halfway ,most pitiable ,it just goes in circles devouring a mass of resource .to avoid the tragedy taking place ,paying attention to the personality and harmonious development is a vital task.
   the undoubtful fact that the society has made great progress during the old days shows the children raised in form of the advanced education have contributed to a better society .nevertheless ,as the modern society develops ,it is at the cost of environment ,but we can't deny the truth that children are higher quality both in handling knowledge and dealing with problems between human and nature .according to my observation ,the yorth do better than the elderly men in protecting environment even in observing traffic regulations .the elder feel their positions threatened all the time for the reason that the youngsters do so well in many parts, they have to charge themselves to keep pace with time .can't the children help bring about a better society ? maybe it's true if we ignore all the progress the society has made and pass all the buck to the youth.
   some educators dismiss the education achievement and act like melancholy buffoon ,although what they said never and won't happen .in sum ,education concludes so many that never can one part decide the fate of society ,socialization is based on the individual
ability .in spite of the pessimists ,more educators are endeavoring to perfect the mode of education .better education ,better children ,better society ,the wheels of development won't stop.

提纲：
1。不同意观点，前后两个都不同意。
2.承认社会化的重要性，但它不是唯一的。
3.还应该注重perseverance ,self-adjustment and ideas for innovation。
4.肯定教育成果，这个社会一直在进步。并且与时俱进的教育模式下培养出来的孩子可以帮助建设更好的社会。
5.有些教育者过于悲观，但更多的教育者会改进教育模式，帮助培养更好的人才。


第一次写，好痛苦，拿不出什么例子，里面还有好多表达非常中国化，例如“历史巨轮不会停止”“每个孩子都是散落在海洋的珍珠”，拼写错误多(已自己修改），语法错误也不少，而且文章还有点人身攻击，还像argument。题目还很挫~神啊。泪奔。。。。
快来给这个迷途的孩子指点迷津吧！！！:mad:

如歌UID: 2649790

孩子如何社会化（既可以理解为“适应社会”，也可以理解为“社会交往”）决定了社会的命运。然而，我们还不知道如何培养孩子，以使其有助于形成一个更好的社会。
这道题很绕，很多同学都理解成两句不怎么相干的话了，然后分别回应。这是错误的，unfortunately摆在那里放着，表明两句话之间有很强的逻辑关系。再看看“the destiny of society”和“a better society”，我们就会明白，实际上题目说的是：
孩子如何社会化决定了社会的命运，社会化好了社会就更好了。但是，我们还没有学会如何培养孩子让社会更好，即：我们还没有学会如何培养让孩子更好地社会化。（插一句，从上下文看，“社会化”最恰当的意思应该是“适应社会”：When people, especially children, are socialized, they are made to behave in a way which is acceptable in their culture or society.）
很明显，“社会化好了社会就更好了”就是假定条件。这个条件是否正确，完全是可以写的；如果你把它拎出来，然后评论一番，我想出题人会很欣慰。不过要注意，千万不要写成argument（例如：based on a false assumption that……）。

一片死白UID: 2646811

恩，谢谢如歌，我当时写就觉得对题目理解不够。
主要是对作者的假定条件，到结论都不同意，所以造成写得像argument。
恩，我再重新想下提纲。

如歌UID: 2649790

为什么我在Word里改的颜色，发出来是黑的，害得我又改一次。。。
偶是好小孩 发表于 2009-6-20 01:24

该你那篇的时候我就发现了。。。后来重改好像有的颜色没有划出来。。。