Issue130 第一篇…7月31号就要考了，我惨了

chenheng0528UID: 2610515

Issue130："How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
关键词：socialized， determine how to raise
提纲：
1、  承认社会化的必要性。人与人之间没有沟通、联系、合作、互助，就没有社会的整体进步。一个卓越的领导改变世界的命运，但前提是有很多接受他思维的人帮助他一起实现。孩子作为一个社会的未来，他们需要从小就意识到社会化的重要性。
2、  However, 孩子无法融入社会成为一个社会性的成长性的问题。Turn to internet for comfort. What is more, because of China’s one child policy,  Children do not share their toys or books from each other.
3、  为什么会出现这样的问题。媒体、家庭、社会。媒体无选择性的将社会的阴暗面展示给孩子，而他们的心理还没有成熟，受此影响会产生对社会的抵触。家庭的（家庭松散）全职的父母没有时间也没有精力关心孩子的心理，以及他们的交友情况。社会看重的是什么（竞争、成就）缺少合作的values。过于强调竞争了，使孩子产生错觉，他们没有社会化的需要。
4、  确实，我们以及全社会，have not yet learned how to raise children. 单纯的提出让孩子应当互相友爱，互助协作是不够的。

正文：
Someone maybe considers that it is too arbitrary to say “how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society”. Whatever else may be said, most people would agree that people are not isolated exists in the community and socialization plays a crucial role. Society can not progress without people’s communication and mutual assistance. When it comes to children, can decide the future of the society, socialization is even more important.

However, the problem that children have difficulty to integrate into society is growing along with the development of technology such as computer and internet. When children encounter the fiasco in reality, they attempt to turn to internet for comfort rather than to ask their friend or parents for help. In China, thousands of children (even including some college students) are so indulged in computer game that they give up their studying and drop out from school. What is more, because of China’s one child policy, child has no brother or sister. During child’s growing up, no one accompany with him or her. This circumstance makes socialized problems for China children to be even worse. Children do not share their toys or books from each other.

Why are so many children not socialized, and some children even present antisocial behavior? If I were asked to answer this question, I would have to blame the influence of media, nonsupport from family and hyper-competitive in society. The media shows children indiscriminate stuff. There is so many reports of social negative such as kidnapping and cheating that forcing children lost trust in others. When they get into trouble, they do not know who to turn to because nobody seems reliable. At the same time, parents always have no time and energy to take care about their child’s thinking. For most parents, children have no problems as well as making friends except eating and clothing. At the even worse, teachers or others merely pay attention to children’s success at studying or other aspects. In the process of competition, children can not respect each other, help each other and cultivate friendship. The society emphasizes so much on competitive that children are misguide that there is no need for socialization. Deep down, how to raise children due to the values of society.

To be sure, the important of socialization for children cannot be overemphasized. Only asking children to communication with each other is not enough. All the society including media, parents and teachers have duty to improve children’s socialized ability.

GTBUID: 2652025

mark一下，明天帮lz看看~（话说昨天就mark了一篇还没来得及看= =）我尽力~

chenheng0528UID: 2610515

呵呵，谢谢了

chenheng0528UID: 2610515

话说2#的同志，你的贴子我怎么没找到？

DivineUID: 2650173

1 一般来说第一段要明确立场。楼主可考虑将socializing的重要性放到第二段讲，第一段着重强调自己的观点
2 第二段和第三段举网络和媒体的例子很到位，很好地说明了现状，但对解决方法谈得少了一点 比如具体parents和teacher应该怎么做 同时也应该谈谈现在的parents和teachers的做法为什么不好（比如parents不关心孩子成长导致孩子的家庭意识淡薄，teachers过度强调学习和竞争使学生不会合作，彼此疏远）
3关于competition的分析略显绝对，这里改成畸形的，不公平的竞争可能更好。
几点拙见 我的第一篇楼主提提毛病吧https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... age=1#pid1773001347

chenheng0528UID: 2610515

非常感谢楼上的，说的很有道理。我现在就帮您看