皇甫秋荻的独立作文~begin with 1.27

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

<1.27>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

As far as I am concerned, governments should spend equal money both in the area of arts and athletics.

Nation’s populace can benefit from the athletics at first. We can do exercise regularly to be healthy. If the government spends money on the equipment, we can play tennis or some other sports with our family members or friends in our leisure time, so that we can make our bodies feel stronger. What’s more, Sports can also release our pressure to make us feel relax and in this way, we can have a better spirit in our study and work. Last but not least, it is also an efficient and effective way to communicate with other countries. As is known to all, in early 1971, a group of American table tennis players came to China to play and train with Chinese athletes. And this event signaled a renewal of ties between China and the US during an era of what became called “ping-pong diplomacy”.

However, though sports play such an important role in our country, arts is also an indispensable part in our daily life. As the development of economy, more and more people become realize the significance of arts. Compared with athletics, arts is a mental thing. It is not our muscle but our brain that can have a better relaxing. It is soft and quiet when we see art exhibition or go to the concert which makes our mood peaceful.

To sum up, only combine arts with sports harmoniously, can government make our people have an ample life!


呃，好久没写了，烦劳同学们了。。。

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

As far as I am concerned, governments should spend equal money on both the area of arts and athletics.(应该用spend...on..吧)
第一段好像有些短，导致你总字数不够，也许加些文章背景和简述一下原因能好些~
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Firstly, a nation’s populace can greatly benefit from the athletics. We can do exercise regularly to keep healthy. If the government spends a large amount of money on the facilities (这个词多指体育设备), we can play tennis and some other sports with our family members or friends in our leisure time, so that we can make our bodies feel stronger.（你可能是想换个说法，但是那样表达好像有点赘余so that we will live healthier lives.） What’s more, sports can also release our pressure，making us feel relax and only in this way, can we have a better spirit in our study and work.（用到装更好些） Last but not the least, it is also an efficient and effective way to build relationship with other countries. As is known to all, in early 1971, a group of American table tennis players came to China to communicate（用play不太合适）and train with Chinese athletes. And this event signaled a renewal of bond between China and the US during an era of what is called “ping-pong diplomacy”.
你上面的这些内容是一段还是分三段啊？如果是分三段，每一段好像有些短，应该多加些例子，细节。或者反面与对比，比如投资体育，有助于人们锻炼身体，从而更好的学习与工作，那如果不投资体育，又会出现什么现象~这样辩证更有力些。
However, though sports play such an important role in our country, art is also an indispensable part in our daily life. As the development of economy, more and more people become realize the significance of arts. Compared with athletics, art is a mental thing. It is not our body but our brain can have a better enjoyment. It is soft and quiet when we see art exhibition or go to the concert which makes our mood peaceful.（这句话逻辑有点问题啊,people will be in a cheerful mood when seeing art exhibition or going to a concert.）

To sum up, only if we combine arts with sports harmoniously, can government make people have an pleasant life!（你这篇文章好像有些短，是时间不够么？我第一次改作文，可能有许多不足，别介意啊~呵呵~你的许多词，我在文章直接改了，你可以对照你的原文看一下，有些地方我还说明了理由，给了些建议）3 B! v

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

thx~ :) 2# 小心littleheart

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

1.28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important for families to regularly eat their meals together.

As for me, it is significant for family members gather together to have meals regularly. I take the considerations from economic, physical fitness and emotional communication.

Initially, as the rapid development of society, more and more people are getting busier and rusher. They spend so much time on work and study that they even can not take a complete lunch at home. What they eat is just fast food or junk food, which they can save plenty of time to fulfill their daily task. Indeed, the food eat outside is fast. But if all the members eat outside, it will be a great expense that we should have the money to do other useful thins.

From another perspective, the junk food contain less nutrition that are benefit to the human body and it is also filled with too much harmful carbohydrates, fats and cholesterol that do not provide any useful energy. And as a result, it causes weakness in the body. Another harmful factor present in junk food is excess concentration of sugars and salt, which is a large burden for heart. So we also say that junk food is the killer of heart.

Last but not least, for my part, mealtime is appropriate time for our family member to communicate with each other. Children can tell what problems they have met in their school time and adult can give the feasible advise and comprehensible explain for their kids so that the children won’t make the mistake again. Meanwhile, the parents could also give their kids encouragement through the mealtime for the purpose of gaining confidence for the children. What’s more, the adult can talk about the troubles they met in the job as well. Saying the difficulty can release their pressure and return to a pleasant mood. Besides, other family members may have a better suggestion to solve the problem.

To sum up, depending on the consideration of economic, health and emotion, there is no denying that we should eat with our family together.

呃，用时两小时，不过终于凑够了300字- -#!
请帮忙改的同学，如果有能增加作文长度的观点或建议，在批改中给予我提示~~谢啦~

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

<1.27>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.!

As far as I am concerned, governments should spend equal money both in the area of arts and athletics. (直接明了)

Nation’s populace can benefit from the athletics at first. We can do exercise regularly to be healthy. If the government spends money on the equipment (infrastructure for sports), we can play tennis or some other sports with our family members or friends in our leisure time, so that we can make our bodies feel stronger. What’s more, Sports can also release (reduce) our pressure to make us feel relax (relaxed) and in this way, we can have a better spirit (mood or condition) in our study and work. Last but not least, it is also an efficient and effective way to communicate with other countries. As is known to all, in early 1971, a group of American table tennis players came to China to play and train with Chinese athletes. And this event signaled a renewal of ties between China and the US during an era of what became called “ping-pong diplomacy”.

However, though sports play such an important role in our country, arts is also an indispensable part in our daily life. As the development of economy, more and more people become realize (are realizing) the significance of arts. Compared with athletics, arts is a mental thing. It is not our muscle but our brain that can have a better (complete) relaxing (relaxation). It is soft and quiet when we see art exhibition or go to the concert which makes our mood peaceful.

To sum up, only combine arts with sports harmoniously (by developing arts and sports parallely), can government make our people have an ample life! (最后一段明白LZ的意思，可是意思表达稍微有点偏差)

文章简洁明了，直奔主题，给人清新的感觉，特别是读惯了那些冗长的文章！语言方面也没什么问题！不过觉得如果中间陈述段能稍微再展开一些就好！加油！

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

1.28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important for families to regularly eat their meals together.; }0 J3 e4 S7 V+ {. z
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As for me, it is significant for family members gather together to have meals regularly. I take the considerations from economic (aspect), physical fitness and emotional communication.
简明扼要，表达清楚，如果想增加字数可增加些背景或数据统计之类的 )， L( n! q; Y% S- R* @  s
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Initially, as the rapid development of society, more and more people are getting busier and rusher. They spend so much time on work and study that they even cannot take a complete lunch at home. What they eat is (are) just fast food or (and) junk food, which (so that) they can save plenty of time to fulfill (finish) their daily task. Indeed, the food eat outside is fast. But if all the members eat outside, it will be a great expense that we should have the money to do other useful things.( 这句话好像跟主题没什么关系，eating outside就不一定没办法together 和regularly啊    )' o$ D' J7 ^: ~: I8 R
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From another perspective, the junk food contain less nutrition that are benefit to the human body and it is also filled with too much harmful carbohydrates, fats and cholesterol（难词，向你学习，呵呵~） that（指代不明，可改为, but does not……） do not provide any useful energy. And as a result, it causes weakness in the body. Another harmful factor present in junk food is excess concentration of sugars and salt, which is (can be) a large (huge这个词一般修饰抽象名词) burden for heart. So we also（usually）say that junk food is the killer of heart.(我觉得你这一段整个都有些偏题，你有点偷换概念~你主要在说junk food的敝处，而主题是与家人一起吃饭的问题，重点是together ,regularly     )
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Last but not（the） least, for my part, mealtime is appropriate time for our family member to communicate with each other. Children can tell what problems they have met in their school time and adult can give the feasible advise and comprehensible explain for their kids so that the children won’t make the mistake again. Meanwhile, the parents could also give their kids encouragement through (at) the mealtime for the purpose of gaining confidence for the children.(,which contributes to gain confidence for their kids) What’s more, the adult can talk about the troubles they met in the job as well. Saying the difficulty can release their pressure and return to (keep) a pleasant mood. Besides, other family members may have a better suggestion to solve the problem.+ }" ?! f, s" j" @
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To sum up, depending on the consideration of economic (aspect), health and emotion, there is no denying that we should eat with our family together.
从你作文的许多词句看到了我作文的影子耶，呵呵~~好亲切~你是什么时候考啊~~
我觉得这篇文章比昨天那篇质量高了很多~语言语法都很不错~就是第二段的主题有些偏离~个人拙见~呵呵O(∩_∩)O~~~加油~~

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

7# 小心littleheart 我3月底考啊！~昨天刚报的名！

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

6# jbc88 呵呵，谢谢批改~

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

7# 小心littleheart 恩，第二段的确有些偏离主题。。。谢拉~嘿嘿

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

1.30 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money on improving public transportation than on improving accessing internet



From my own perspective, I do claim that public transportation and accessing internet should advance side by side. Only in this way can we boost social development in an all-around way. My reasons are as follows.

Public transportation is a fundamental of the daily life. We go shopping by car, go on a journey by plane or train, and even have to go to workplace by bus or by bike. In a word, people, from everywhere, can not live without the vehicle. But there also exist dozens of problems which should be solved efficiently. Many city residents complain that it is so few buses in their city that they have to spend much more time waiting for a bus, which is usually crowded with a large number of passengers. Thus, our government should pay more attention on this matter that the number of public buses should be increased. What's more, the road condition is also a limitation for the traffic. The highway is so narrow that it cannot allow enough transports to get through, especially at busy intersections. And this undoubtedly worsens the already grave situation. Therefore, the government should appropriate sufficient funds for building the appropriate road. Besides, the government should also concentrate the pollution problems which brought by the transportation. If we don't care the air pollution, we also have to lost a large sum of money to improve it. So, the public transportation can not be ignored nowadays.

In addition to, accessing internet is also an indispensable part in our life. Public transport is a path for material transportation which accessing internet is a path for knowledge communication. It plays an indispensable role in our rapid development of society. Because a lot of information which include both in our study and our work can be searched effectively unlike the book we look up in the old day. What we have to do is just input the key words and click the "go", then every content will display on the screen. Meanwhile, if government spends more money on the accessing internet, it will be convenient for our daily communication which we can just send an e-mail to our boss or colleague for the job problems or check online with our relatives and friends for promoting the emotional touch. However, internet also exerts some negative factors, like internet fraud, social desolation, violence tendency and so on. Therefore, the government should spend money to curb all above things.

On the whole, any nation, who is blind to either of them, may pay a heavy price.

帮忙改的同学，如果有好的建议---看我怎么才能增加首段和尾段的长度，请告诉我~~我总觉得首尾段没话说。拜托了。。。

tomatooUID: 2754865

From my own perspective, I do claim that public transportation and accessing internet should advance（be adanced） side by side. Only in this way can we boost social development in an all-around way. My reasons are as follows.

Public transportation is a fundamental（fundamental作名词讲是基本原则，根本法则的意思，后面可以加个part） of the daily life. We go shopping by car, go on a journey by plane or train, and even have to go to workplace by bus or by bike. In a word, people, from everywhere, can not live without the vehicle. But there also exist dozens of problems which should be solved efficiently. Many city residents complain that it is so few buses in their city that they have to spend much more time waiting for a bus, which is usually crowded with a large number of passengers. Thus, our government should pay more attention on this matter that the number of public buses should be increased. What's more, the road condition is also a limitation for the traffic. The highway is so narrow that it cannot allow enough transports to get through, especially at busy intersections. And this undoubtedly worsens the already grave situation. Therefore, the government should appropriate sufficient funds for building the appropriate road. Besides, the government should also concentrate （on）the pollution problems which brought by the transportation. If we don't care the air pollution, we also have to lost（cost or lose?） a large sum of money to improve it. So, the public transportation can not be ignored nowadays.

In addition to, accessing internet is also an indispensable part in our life. Public transport is a path for material transportation which(which不对，换成while吧，有对照的意思，也可以用A is to B what C is to D的句型) accessing internet is a path for knowledge communication. It plays an indispensable role in our rapid development of society. Because a lot of information which include both in our study and our work can be searched effectively unlike the book we look up in the old day. What we have to do is just input the key words and click the "go", then every content will display on the screen. Meanwhile, if government spends more money on the accessing internet, it will be convenient for our daily communication which we can just send an e-mail to our boss or colleague for the job problems or check online with our relatives and friends for promoting the emotional touch. However, internet also exerts some negative factors, like internet fraud, social desolation, violence tendency and so on. Therefore, the government should spend money to curb all above things.

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On the whole, any nation, who is blind to either of them, may pay a heavy price。
观点明确，论证充分，有理有据，语法，表达方面都都很好！
文章表达清了就好了，开头结尾长短不重要。能用短的说清楚的，说多了也就是不停的绕！
如果真想要长的话，我也只会些土办法:
开头：1让步啊，先来个别人说什么，但是怎么不好，所以我觉得
      2有些怎么认为，有些怎么认为，我同意什么
      3看上去什么蛮对的蛮好的是这样的，实则不然，应该是什么样的，因为
      4简单的说什么怎么样是肤浅的不全面的，要看什么什么因素……，如果这么看了，结果是什么样的
      5上面这些都是具体的，再来一个万能的：先写出观点，然后把以下要写的两个三个点的topic sentence同意改写放在后面。
结尾：还是让步，总的来说，虽然什么什么，但是比较而言啊，目前来看啊，根据实际情况啊，长远来看啊，还是什么什么好一些，不然就会怎么样。

      

.; 观点
观点观点

lxg198607UID: 2564115

From my own perspective, I do claim that public transportation and accessing internet should advance side by side. Only in this way can we boost social development in an all-around way. My reasons are （加listed 不知怎样）as follows.
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Public transportation is a fundamental of the daily life. We go shopping by car, go on a journey by plane or train, and even have to go to workplace by bus or by bike. In a word, people, from everywhere, can not live without the vehicle. But there also exist dozens of problems which should be solved efficiently. Many city residents complain that it is so few buses in their city that they have to spend much more time waiting for a bus, which is usually crowded with a large number of passengers. Thus, our government should pay more attention（s） on this matter that the number of public buses should be increased. What's more, the road condition is also a limitation for the traffic. The highway is so narrow that it cannot allow enough transports to get through, especially at busy intersections. And this undoubtedly worsens the already grave situation. Therefore, the government should appropriate sufficient funds for building the appropriate road. Besides, the government should also concentrate (on)the pollution problems which brought by the transportation. If we don't care the air pollution, we also have to lost a large sum of money to improve it.这句啥意思，你是想说即使不care,用even if  So, the public transportation can not be ignored nowadays.

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In addition to,（去掉） accessing internet is also an indispensable part in our life. Public transport is a path for material transportation which accessing internet is a path for knowledge communication. It plays an indispensable role in our rapid development of society. Because a lot of information which include both in our study and our work can be searched effectively unlike the book we look up in the old day. What we have to do is just input the key words and click the "go", then every content will display on the screen. Meanwhile, if government spends more money on the accessing internet, it will be convenient for our daily communication which we can just send an e-mail to our boss or colleague for the job problems or check online with our relatives and friends for promoting the emotional touch. However, internet also exerts some negative factors, like internet fraud, social desolation, violence tendency and so on. Therefore, the government should spend money to curb all above things.

On the whole, any nation, who is blind to either of them, may pay a heavy price., W! ?0 [' U5 Z( N9 ~7 t# f

good
good job, your passage is well organized, and has a definte idea with  a lot of details and examples  to support it .

As for the question you ask,  i have no ideas what to say.  I see no need to write a long start or a long end  in order to add its length, it is ok only if you have a clear main  idea.

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

~2.2~Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is being in a group led by a tourist guide.

In this day and age, do-it-yourself travel is becoming more and more prevalent. Indeed, it can allow us to master our time freely which we'd rather not make it something formal and structured, while from my own perspective, I prefer join in a group led by a tour guide than take a DIY tour. Here are reasons followed.

To begin with, following a cicerone can be more convenient for us, especially on the aspect of time-saving. A vast majority of people often complain that they have to spend much time on booking tickets and finding hotels which disturb them through the whole trip，for the booking office are always congested and rumbustious and the guesthouse have already have no vacancy. However, if we have a tour guide, the entire nuisances mentioned above are inexistent. The guide will get everything ready for our journey. Meanwhile, during the trip, with the leading of a guide, we, who is unfamiliar with the roads, will not worry about where way should to go. Besides, it also can reduce the rate of unpredictable danger when we hike with guide. Therefore, tourist guide can bring dozens of convenience for us.

What's more, travelling with a group of person can be more economical as well. Because only the tour guides know the latest information about the price in food, shelter and transportation. They can prepare a way of saving money for us. Besides, the tickets price and hotel charge with a large number of people, can be much lower than a person alone, and sometimes even the half of the primary one. And we can also save more money enjoying the local food not only in a delicious taste but also a low price.

Last but not the least; travelling isn't just for fun, while with a tour guide, we can get a deeply understanding about the local culture and customs. For example, if we take a visit on an ancient relic，we should not just see it and then go away. On the contrary, we should know "when did it start" , "how did it disappear" and "is there any amazing stories during the time" And only follow the guide, can we learn from all the things which mentioned above which The tour guide can explain to us in detail. In this way, we can have a better cognition about the area.

To sum up, after several careful arguments, I do claim that we should have a conducted tour instead of a self-service trip.

呃，看来偶滴作文结尾就只能是“兔子尾巴长度的----太短了” - - #   哎，认了。。。
同学们什么好建议尽管提~~~
让暴风雨来的更猛烈一些吧！！！
o(∩_∩)o...哈哈

slimhUID: 2438517

In this day and age(In these days), do-it-yourself travel（travel alone） is becoming more and more prevalent. Indeed, it can allow(makes) us to master(master不是这样用的吧？ use更好一些)  our time freely which we'd rather not make it something formal（strict） and structured, while from my own perspective, I prefer to join in a group led by a tour guide than take a DIY tour（tour around alone）. Here are reasons followed.9 V# l$ J& @( y; S8 M6 F% {: q

To begin with, following a cicerone（tour guide） can(would) be more convenient for us, especially on（from） the aspect of time-saving. A vast majority of people often complain that they have to spend much time on booking tickets and finding hotels which disturb them through the whole trip，for the booking offices are always congested and rumbustious and the guesthouse have already have no vacancy. However, if we have a tour guide, the entire nuisances mentioned above are inexistent. The guide will get everything ready for our journey. Meanwhile, during the trip, with the leading of a guide, we, who is unfamiliar with the roads, will not worry about where（which） way should to go. Besides, it also can reduce the rate of unpredictable danger when we hike with guide. Therefore, tourist guide can bring dozens of convenience for us.
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What's more, travelling with a group of person can be（is） more economical as well. Because only the tour guides know the latest information about the price in(of) food, shelter and transportation. They can prepare a way of saving money for us. Besides, the tickets price and hotel charge with a large number of people, can be much lower than a person alone, and sometimes even the half of the primary one. And we can also save more money enjoying the local food not only in a delicious taste but also in a low price.
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Last but not the least(据说这个很口语化，建议用别的代替吧); travelling isn't just for fun, while with a tour guide, we can get a deeply understanding about the local culture and customs. For example, if we take a (去掉)visit on（去掉） an ancient relic，we should not just see it and then go away(leave). On the contrary, we should（would like to know） know "when did it start" , "how did it disappear" and "is there any amazing stories during the time" And only follow the guide, can we(调换位置) learn from all the things which mentioned above which The tour guide can（去掉） explains to us in detail. In this way, we can have a better cognition about the area.; j; P# d0 G  r3 X0 a
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To sum up, after several careful arguments, I do claim that we should have a conducted tour instead of a self-service trip.

我用word修改的。。怎么乱成一团啊？ 谁能教我这个修改好的怎么上传？

告诉我怎么上传word吧？我把修改好的word给你。。