作文互改 -- nexthop

nexthopUID: 2744929

3.24.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places.


Not long ago, there was a survey conducted on a living forum asking people whether they would spend their whole life in living one place or moving to live in different places. Since it is a common issue nowadays, many people express their views. Some of them who enjoy new environments that lead to novelty would like a moving life. Though the advantages that moving life result in are numerous, they can not compete with the benefits that living in on place, when the sense of happiness and convenience are taken into account.

The most remarkable strength that the steady life brings about is the sense of happiness. For example, people would be familiar with the environment, such as how about the law-and-order situation and what the life style here is, that they speed several years on. They do not need to worry about the instable factor that may occur around them. Undoubtedly, this feeling of acquaintance will bring them more comfortable. According to the psychology, people who with this familiarity about their environment are more likely to achieve the sense of happiness and live in a happy life.

Another impressive merit of living in one place is that they may get more convenience. For instance, people who want to buy some books such as novels and magazines do know where the bookstores that near they are and how to get there. Furthermore, people who often purchase books even know the specialty of each bookshop. They do not have to speed much time in finding bookstores or a hospital when they have emergencies some time. Also, the convenience that result from being familiar with the environment could improve their living condition which is people always looking for.

Although I agree that steady life could lead to obvious advantages, there also have some benefits result from moving life. The most attractive factor that the moving life brings about is the novelty, which makes people believe that their lives are always new. They may keep their life more enthusiastic and experience different kind of lives.

Even though I agree that there may be one or two minor advantages of moving to live in different places, I feel that the advantages of taking a steady life are more obvious. The sense of happiness improved by being familiar with their living environment and the convenience with which people could enhance their living standards may make people more likely to live in one place.


第二次写，时间仍然控制不住。写作用时65分钟，修改用时15分钟。还有15天，加油吧。

s499992008UID: 2688967

Not long ago, there was a survey conducted on a living forum asking people whether they would spend their whole life in living one place or moving to live in different places. Since it is a common issue nowadays, many people express their views. Some of them who enjoy new environments(去掉S) that lead to novelty would like a moving life. Though the advantages that moving life result in （result in 后面常常是灾难吧。。可以换成prosper our experience）are numerous, they can not compete with the benefits that living in on place, when the sense of happiness and convenience are taken into account(最后一句一看就是看过网络课堂的。。呵呵).5 I- g- W9 H7 C$ u

most remarkable strength（好处呗） that the steady life brings about is the sense of happiness. For example, people would be familiar with the environment, such as how about the law-and-order situation and what the life style here is, that they speed several years on. They do not need to worry about the instable factor that may occur around them. Undoubtedly, this feeling of acquaintance will bring them more comfortable. According to the psychology, people who with this familiarity about their environment are more likely to achieve the sense of happiness and live in a happy life.: `& q: r# o% e% j
( K& @( g' e5 ?# Q3 w# R: t
Another impressive merit of living in one place is that they may get more convenience. For instance, people who want to buy some books such as novels and magazines do know where the bookstores that near they are and how to get there. Furthermore, people who often purchase books even know the specialty of each bookshop. They do not have to speed much time in finding bookstores or a hospital when they have emergencies some time. Also, the convenience that result from being familiar with the environment could improve their living condition which is people always looking for.; w1 D& a  g0 T# \1 |
Although I agree that steady life could lead to obvious advantages, there also have some benefits result from moving life. The most attractive factor that the moving life brings about is the novelty, which makes people believe that their lives are always new. They may keep their life more enthusiastic and experience different kind of lives（这段怎么又说回去了，感觉是第二段的复制那。。有很大的重复）.
- X, f* r9 r. M1 {- O
Even though I agree that there may be one or two minor advantages of moving to live in different places, I feel that the advantages of taking a steady life are more obvious. The sense of happiness improved by being familiar with their living environment and the convenience with which people could enhance their living standards may make people more likely to live in one place.（错误很少，这点就比我强多了，写这种文章的时候我感觉有时候还是要对比下的。。我觉得是。。呵呵。。至于其它结构性上的问题我也没有那种能力了。楼主加油吧。。你作文准备的有点晚了喔个人感觉。。我还有1个月考试。。呵呵）
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nexthopUID: 2744929

额 二楼的童鞋.
第4段没跟第2段重复啊... 2,3段是在说住一个地方的好,4段转折了一下,说搬家的好.
所以这样的话就还是有对比的么...

我觉得是如果说一个问题的正反面, 就直接说它好在哪坏在哪, 如果题目涉及到两个方面, 比如这个题目, 当然还是要对比一下的, 不然怎么说服人家你是选的这个方面, 对吧.

51航海UID: 2738581

Not long ago, there was a survey conducted on a living forum asking people whether they would spend their whole life in living one place or moving to live in different places. Since it is a common issue nowadays, many people express their views. Some of them who enjoy new environments that lead to novelty would like a moving life. Though the advantages that moving life result in are numerous, they can not compete with the benefits that living in on place, when the sense of happiness and convenience are taken into account.（开头这么冗长，我觉得给人的印象就不好，观点要清晰！）

The most remarkable strength that the steady life brings about is the sense of happiness. For example, people would be familiar with the environment, such as how about the law-and-order situation and what the life style here is, that they speed several years on. They do not need to worry about the instable factor that may occur around them. Undoubtedly, this feeling of acquaintance will bring them more comfortable. According to the psychology, people who （少个系动词吧？）with this familiarity about their environment are more likely to achieve the sense of happiness and live in a happy life.

Another impressive merit of living in one place is that they may get more convenience. For instance, people who want to buy some books such as novels and magazines do know where the bookstores that near they are and how to get there. Furthermore, people who often purchase books even know the specialty of each bookshop. They do not have to speed much time in finding bookstores or a hospital when they have emergencies some time. Also, the convenience that result from being familiar with the environment could improve their living condition which is people always looking for.（这段和上一段有点重复的嫌疑，至少区别不大！）

Although I agree that steady life could lead to obvious advantages, there also have some benefits result （两个谓语）from moving life. The most attractive factor that the moving life brings about is the novelty, which makes people believe that their lives are always new. They may keep their life more enthusiastic and experience different kind of lives.
Even though I agree that there may be one or two minor advantages of moving to live in different places, I feel that the advantages of taking a steady life are more obvious. The sense of happiness improved by being familiar with their living environment and the convenience with which people could enhance their living standards may make people more likely to live in one place.（这句整这么复杂，眼晕了，）

其实语言很好，就是论证角度有点重复，

51航海UID: 2738581

Not long ago, there was a survey conducted on a living forum asking people whether they would spend their whole life in living one place or moving to live in different places. Since it is a common issue nowadays, many people express their views. Some of them who enjoy new environments that lead to novelty would like a moving life. Though the advantages that moving life result in are numerous, they can not compete with the benefits that living in on place, when the sense of happiness and convenience are taken into account.（开头这么冗长，我觉得给人的印象就不好，观点要清晰！）

The most remarkable strength that the steady life brings about is the sense of happiness. For example, people would be familiar with the environment, such as how about the law-and-order situation and what the life style here is, that they speed several years on. They do not need to worry about the instable factor that may occur around them. Undoubtedly, this feeling of acquaintance will bring them more comfortable. According to the psychology, people who （少个系动词吧？）with this familiarity about their environment are more likely to achieve the sense of happiness and live in a happy life.

Another impressive merit of living in one place is that they may get more convenience. For instance, people who want to buy some books such as novels and magazines do know where the bookstores that near they are and how to get there. Furthermore, people who often purchase books even know the specialty of each bookshop. They do not have to speed much time in finding bookstores or a hospital when they have emergencies some time. Also, the convenience that result from being familiar with the environment could improve their living condition which is people always looking for.（这段和上一段有点重复的嫌疑，至少区别不大！）

Although I agree that steady life could lead to obvious advantages, there also have some benefits result （两个谓语）from moving life. The most attractive factor that the moving life brings about is the novelty, which makes people believe that their lives are always new. They may keep their life more enthusiastic and experience different kind of lives.
Even though I agree that there may be one or two minor advantages of moving to live in different places, I feel that the advantages of taking a steady life are more obvious. The sense of happiness improved by being familiar with their living environment and the convenience with which people could enhance their living standards may make people more likely to live in one place.（这句整这么复杂，眼晕了，）

其实语言很好，就是论证角度有点重复，

nexthopUID: 2744929

3.25 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.

Not long ago, there was a survey on a social website asking people what things are most effect our society. Almost 90 percent people choose either printed books or television. People who could learn more about daily social affairs and could have more chance to communicate with others would more likely to vote television. There may be some great effects of printed books; however, I believe that television is far more effective.

The most remarkable effect television bring about is that people could acquaint current affairs easier. For example, people who eagerly care about the social issues could only read the newspapers when television has not been invented. But the most extraordinary drawback of newspapers is that it can not cover the news until the next day. This low efficiency could not suit the need that people ask for. Then everything is change when television is introduced to society. It is the news report which broadcasted on television makes people known almost every major affair at any time and anywhere. Furthermore, there are even some news channels which cover current affairs incessantly.

Another impressive effect result from television is that the relationship between people is more harmony. For instance, after supper the family members could get together in front of television. They may talk to each other about the teleplay which they watch yesterday or the other things they are care about in their daily life. And in this course, they may release the pressure they suffered on the daytime and relax themselves in the atmosphere of happiness. Undoubtedly, it is television that brings them chatting together, which make the members achieve a higher level of sense of happiness and lead to a more harmonious family.

Although I agree that printed books may have some effects on society, I feel that the television is more intensive and expansive effective. The efficiency which allow people acquaint the current affairs on time and the harmonious relationship that television brings about may the notable reasons that many people vote for television.


又写了一个小时...

yxb_25UID: 2758094

3.25 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.

Not long ago, there was a survey on a social website asking people what things are most effect our society. Almost 90 percent people choose either printed books or television. People who could learn more about daily social affairs and could have more chance to communicate with others would more likely to vote television. There may be some great effects of printed books; however, I believe that television is far more effective.（开头用事实说话，很新颖）

The most remarkable effect television bring about is that people could acquaint current affairs easier. For example, people who eagerly care about the social issues could only （could only 这样的表达感觉有点怪，呵呵）read the newspapers when television has not been invented. （这样改会好点：the  way that people who desire to acquire social news  only through the newspaper and reading materials when television has not been invented yet) But the most extraordinary drawback of newspapers is that it can not cover the news until the next day. This low efficiency could not suit the need that people ask for. Then everything is change when television is introduced to society. It is the news report which broadcasted on television makes people known almost every major affair at any time and anywhere. Furthermore, there are even some news channels which cover current affairs incessantly.
-
Another impressive effect result from television is that the relationship between people is more harmony. For instance, after supper the family members could get together in front of television. They may talk to each other about the teleplay which they watch yesterday or the other things they are care about in their daily life. And in this course, they may release the pressure they suffered on(from)
the daytime and relax themselves in the atmosphere of happiness. Undoubtedly, it is television that brings them chatting together, which make the members achieve a higher level of sense of happiness and lead to a more harmonious family.(举例很恰当）
( F" I' R2 k! a, ]0 ~5 b3 G( x
Although I agree that printed books may have some effects on society, I feel that the television is more intensive and expansive effective. The efficiency which allow people acquaint the current affairs on time and the harmonious relationship that television brings about may the notable reasons that many people vote for television.
（最后的长句有些问题，感觉不是很通顺）

LZ的语言不错，举例也恰当，但感觉在长句运用上有些小问题，句子似乎少了些成分，我语法也一般。。呵呵 。总体很不错哦，让我学习到不少~！加油

nexthopUID: 2744929

3.26 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.

Not long ago, there was a survey on a living website asking people whether they believe students who are used to keep their room neat and organized are more likely to be successful than students who do not. Some people may consider that some bad daily customs are not a big deal when they are just students. However, I strongly support that it indeed have great effect on their career to success, when good relationship and aspiration to change taken into account.

The most impressive advantage that good customs bring about is harmony relationship. For example, the place some students want to have a party is not his/her room which is messed up such as the floor is strewn with clothes and other things. That is to say, the student who has a neat and organized room may have more chance to invite his/her friends to have a party, and the tidy room may give them a unusual impression, which contribute to a great relationship. Undoubtedly, a harmony relationship may make you more likely to achieve success.

Another crucial benefit result from good customs is urging to change. It means that the student who has a tidy room could not stay in a disorderly space and with his/her great effort he/she finally changes this situation. The eager to change the environment could also be helped when the student faces another dissatisfied condition. For instance, when the student who just graduated from university face the real society, undoubtedly, his/her living states such as what he/she eat and where he/she live are not satisfied him/her. He/she will strongly make arduous effort to pursue the better life with this aspiration, which also may lead to a higher probability to success.

Although there still some people who finally achieve success do not care about good daily customs such as a neat room, I feel that the benefits result from great customs is more obvious. the student with some excellent characters such as keep his/her room tidy is more likely to achieve his/her goals. So if someone wants to succeed? Then take care about the good daily custom.
都写了三篇了，速度一点没长进，又用了65分钟。

mumoluluUID: 2747637

Not long ago, there was a survey on a living website asking people whether they believe students who are used to keep their room neat and organized are more likely to be successful than students who do not. Some people may consider that some bad daily customs are not a big deal when they are just students. However, I strongly support that it indeed have great effect on their career to success, when good relationship and aspiration to change taken into account.
The most impressive advantage that good customs bring about is harmony relationship. For example, the place some students want to have a party is not his/her room which is messed up such as the floor is strewn with clothes and other things. That is to say, the student who has a neat and organized room may have more chance to invite his/her friends to have a party, and the tidy room may give them a unusual impression, which contribute to a great relationship. Undoubtedly, a harmony relationship may make you more likely to achieve success.- T# P) I( z% _7 r7 @0 e
. Q: Y5 N% b1 V! F5 s( y* Q# f
Another crucial benefit result from good customs is urging to change. It means that the student who has a tidy room could not stay in a disorderly space and with his/her great effort he/she finally changes this situation. The eager to change the environment could also be helped when the student faces another dissatisfied condition. For instance, when the student who just graduated from university face the real society, undoubtedly, his/her living states such as what he/she eat and where he/she live are not satisfied him/her. He/she will strongly make arduous effort to pursue the better life with this aspiration, which also may lead to a higher probability to success.
R% |* d* P, U
Although there still some people who finally achieve success do not care about good daily customs such as a neat room, I feel that the benefits result from great customs is more obvious. the student with some excellent characters such as keep his/her room tidy is more likely to achieve his/her goals. So if someone wants to succeed? Then take care about the good daily custom.

童鞋的作文似乎每一句都很长 木马真的有点晕晕的感觉 想帮忙改 但是都不知道从何入手 请你原谅 最后扣题说 想要成功就保持好的日常生活习惯 可以这么理解的话 好像......这句话也不适合放在最后扣题

nexthopUID: 2744929

3.28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.

Not long ago, there was a survey on a education forum asking people whether they support the idea that children should only play sports for fun, not in a competitive way. Some people may argue that competitive sports could progress the competitive potential of children. However, I believe that children should play sports only for fun, when physical states and negative mental impact are taken into account.

The most impressive factor that children should not play in competition is their immaturity physical conditions. The period that children are now in is a crucial time, during which the physical progress could mostly determine their condition of body in their later lives. However, with the incentive of being proud, the competition may arose the intense thirsty of young children or their parents for winning, which may lead to extensive training or physical exercise. Undoubtedly, too much exercise, to some degree, may seriously affect the physical development of children in this vital period, and an excellent physical state is a essential facet of healthy.

Another remarkable reason why children should not play in competitive way, I believe, is negative mental impact. Repetitious failure may result in mental pressures of children who are not mature enough to get through the losing. For example, a child who is always the last one in the race may encounter disdain from his /her classmates or friends or perhaps even disappointment from his/her parents. As a result, he/she may become unconfident of himself/herself and disgusting about any kinds of competition. Moreover, this negative attitude in his/her childhood may influence his/her entire life.

Although appropriate competition could make young children learn their own limits and strengths, I feel that playing sports in a funny way is more necessary. Consider the severe harm of young children both in mental and physical, people also will vote for funny way of playing sports for children without doubt.

lain0119UID: 2695504

Not long ago, there was a survey on a education forum asking people whether they support the idea that children should only play sports for fun, not in a competitive way. Some people may(为什么是may= =may表推测啊） argue that competitive sports could progress the competitive potential of children. However, I believe that children should play sports only for fun, when physical states and negative mental impact are taken into account.
The most impressive factor that children should not play in competition is their immaturity physical conditions. The period that children are now in is a crucial time, during which the physical progress could mostly determine their condition of body in their later lives（主句没有主语啊,而且总觉得后面的从句有点chinglish= =）. However, with the incentive of being proud, the competition may arose the intense thirsty of young children or their parents for winning, which may lead to extensive training or physical exercise. Undoubtedly, too much exercise, to some degree（都已经很much就不用再to some degree了）, may seriously affect the physical development of children in this vital period, and an excellent physical state is a essential facet of healthy(and后面可以删了~）.
Another remarkable reason why children should not play in competitive way, I believe, is negative mental impact. Repetitious failure may result in mental pressures of children who are not mature enough to get through the losing. For example, a child who is always the last one in the race may encounter disdain from his /her classmates or friends or perhaps even disappointment from his/her parents. As a result, he/she may become unconfident of himself/herself and disgusting（disgusted) about any kinds of competition. Moreover, this negative attitude in his/her childhood may influence his/her entire life.4 }1 X( C% z, u0 _: z) i: N

Although appropriate competition could make young children learn their own limits and strengths, I feel that playing sports in a funny way is more necessary. Consider the severe harm of young children both in mental and physical（咳~小孩带来的危害？应该是竞技体育的危害吧？！）, people also will vote for funny way of playing sports for children without doubt.

怎么说呢~感觉句子内部的逻辑还是基本有了，就是觉得有的意思表达得怪怪的啊~