issue51 初次习作，期待批评！！！

kolu_renUID：158196

Contempary society with tremendous technological change, updating kwonlodge explosion,vast accumulation of data from all fields, people are demanded for further study all the time. We now experience  an education-oriented society, so some people insist that only the education that specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students will be effective. I can not agree with this opinion exactly. In my point of view, specifically designed education do us good, but we can not overemphasize on it. We should analysize this object in a dialectic manners.

Specifically designed education which take advantage of students' needs and interests can help students get twice the result with half the effort. An effective learning method is a key to large mass of knowledge. Since each person has his own characteristic such as good memory, excellent logic, good sense of mathematic and so on. According to these characteristics, an effective education will  help them to realize that learning is a piece of cake rather than a headache. As we all know that Albert Eisten was once a disabled in school study, but his mother never gave up. She took him back, taught herself and let him do what he had interest----hatch eggs. It is another new way for him to learn---observe the phenomium he interested and found out the answer himself. In that way, he became one of the greatest scientists in the world and later he showed us a brandly new world.

In reference to the benefits of designed education, we should also pay attention that such education may encourge students to focus on the fields which they have interests. In that case, we will find a great knowledge gap between what they like and what they do not. What is serious is they do not have even the basic knowledge about the field they dislike. With the development of technology, different subjects connect with each other closer than ever before, a wider background of knowledge is a necessary demand for every competitor. Generalists are the better choice of present--day society. For instance, a teacher should have not only skills of education, but also some knowledge of psychology.

If we turn our focus to the reality of career, since even the intelligent students, it is not possible for all of them to arrive at the top training establishment----definitely suituable education for their own interest and needs, it might perhaps be wise to advice  students on how to make the best out of limited circumstances. It is also a good way for students to learn to accumulate knowledge they need most from the vast sea of it. The earnest they did, the longest they will keep these in their mind and in the process of filtering all kinds of knowledge, it is great treasure to all of  their lives.

Overall, after taking some aspects into consideration, to nowadays, specifically designed education which meets the needs and interests of students does good for absorbing knowledge on the basis of individual differences, but concentrating all on it will work on the contrary. We should find the balance between these two points and get access to the more effective education.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-25 at 17:59 ]

kolu_renUID：158196

Contemporary society with tremendous technological change, updating knowledge explosion, vast accumulation of data from all fields, people are demanded for further study all the time. We now experience an education-oriented society, so some people insist that only the education that specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students will be effective. I cannot agree with this opinion exactly. In my point of view, specifically designed education do us good, but it doesn’t mean that we could overemphasize on it. We should analyze this subject in dialectic manners.

Specifically designed education, which takes advantage of students’ interests, can help students get twice the result with half the effort. An effective learning method is a key to large mass of knowledge. Since each person has his own characteristic such as good memory, excellent logic, good sense of mathematic and so on. According to these characteristics, an effective education helps them to realize that learning is a piece of cake rather than a headache. As we all know that Albert Einstein was once a disabled in school study, but his mother took him back, taught herself and let him do what he had interest----hatch eggs. It is another new way for him to learn---observe the phenomena he was curious about and found out the answer himself. In that way, he became one of the greatest scientists in the world and later he showed us a brand new world. Obviously, a suitable training plays an important role in education, which broadens the horizon of students and helps them to find what fits them best. There is an old saying ” If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you have.”

In reference to the benefits of designed education, we should also pay attention that such education may encourage students to focus on the fields that they have interests. In that case, we will find a great knowledge gap between what they like and what they do not. What is serious is they do not have even the basic knowledge about the field they dislike. With the development of technology, different subjects connect with each other closer than ever before, a wider background of knowledge is a necessary demand for every competitor. Generalists are the better choice of present--day society. For instance, a teacher should have not only skills of education, but also some knowledge of psychology.

If we turn our focus to the reality of career, since even the intelligent students, it is not possible for all of them to arrive at the top training establishment----definitely suitable education for their own interest and needs, it might perhaps be wise to advice students on how to make the best out of limited circumstances. It is also a good way for students to learn to accumulate knowledge they need most from the vast sea of it. The earnest they did, the longest they will keep these in their mind and in the process of filtering all kinds of knowledge, it is great treasure in all of their lives.

Overall, after taking some aspects into consideration, to nowadays, specifically designed education which meets the needs and interests of students does good for absorbing knowledge on the basis of individual differences, but concentrating all on it will work on the contrary. We should find the balance between these two points and get access to the more effective education.

阿择菜UID：2110339

kolu,你先把你的题目和题目翻译,以及你的提纲给列出来好吗?
这样我更容易看你的思路 ...不然很麻烦的
    最怕的是容易误解你的意图.......
然后再告诉我  我给你拍   好吧???

kolu_renUID：158196

51. Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
翻译：唯有当教育是专门为满足和每个学生兴趣的而设计的时候，教育才是真正有效的。

提纲：
1. 特别设计的教育的好处
2. 特别设计教育的不足，包括基础知识的缺乏等
3. 统一教育是总的趋势以及对学生的好处

阿择菜，没想到你真的来看了！我把我的提纲列出来了，请狠狠地披吧！
我也在找相关资料，过两天争取自己在改改，谢谢先！！:victory:

阿择菜UID：2110339

Contemporary society with tremendous technological change, updating knowledge explosion, vast accumulation of data from all fields, people are demanded[demanding] for further study all the time. We now experience an education-oriented society, so some people insist that only the education that [is ]specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students will be effective. I cannot agree with this opinion exactly.[当你否定的时候最好采用部分否定的方式，因为你下边还有支持的观点！不然显得你的逻辑不严密] In my point of view, specifically designed education do us good[is benefit for us], but it doesn’t mean that we could[must] overemphasize on it. We should analyze this subject in dialectic manners.[这个句子太不准确了！改！！]

Specifically designed education, which takes advantage of students’ interests, can help students get twice the result with half the[删] effort. An effective learning method is a key to large mass of knowledge.[mass knowledge就可以了，文章不要为凑字数而增多罗嗦的字] Since each person has his own characteristic such as good memory, excellent logic, good sense of mathematic and so on. According to these characteristics, an effective education helps them to realize that learning is a piece of cake rather than a headache. As we all know that Albert Einstein was once a disabled in school study, but his mother took him back, taught herself and let him do what he had interest----hatch eggs. It is another new way for him to learn---observe the phenomena he was curious about and found out the answer himself. In that way[Finally], he became one of the greatest scientists in the world and later he showed us a brand new world. Obviously, a suitable training plays an important role in education, which broadens the horizon of students and helps them to find what fits them best. There is an old saying ” If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you have.”[例子有些长，可以再举一个例子，把这个例子简化点，论证不是叙述故事，而是去论证你的论点！]

In reference to the benefits of designed education, we should also pay attention that such education may encourage students to focus on the fields that they have interests[on]. In that case, we will find a great knowledge gap between what they like and what they do not. What is serious is they do not have even the basic knowledge about the field they dislike. With the development of technology, different subjects connect with each other closer than ever before, a wider background of knowledge is a necessary demand for every competitor. Generalists are the better choice of present--day society. For instance, a teacher should have not only skills of education, but also some knowledge of psychology.[可以继续展开，因为国家没有足够的能力去满足每个人的兴趣要求，不可能给每人创造符合自己的发展条件，这是不现实的]

[文章需要过度，没有过渡，显示的你的文章很isolated]If we turn our focus to the reality of career, since even the intelligent students, it is not possible for all of them to arrive at the top training establishment----definitely suitable education for their own interest and needs, it might perhaps be wise to advice students on how to make the best out of limited circumstances. It is also a good way for students to learn to accumulate knowledge they need most from the vast sea of it. The earnest they did, the longest they will keep these in their mind and in the process of filtering all kinds of knowledge[你想表达什么意思呢], it is great treasure in all of their lives.[和你的提纲不符，并没有说明国家统一课程的趋势和好处！应该具体展开阐述，这段写的很糟，逻辑上与前边联系不紧的]

Overall, after taking some aspects into consideration, to[删] nowadays, specifically designed education which meets the needs and interests of students does good for absorbing knowledge on the basis of individual differences, but concentrating all on it will work on the contrary. We should find the balance between these two points [between 连接的什么啊？？？]and get access to the more effective education.[总结的不好！我明白的你的意思但是你表达的很不清晰，教育是要寻求平衡，既要照顾学生的兴趣又要满足大多数的要求，是这意思吧？]

[文章的语句需要注意，用词不准，而且重复的低级词汇太多了，注意！比如用good就不如用benefit好，整个文章的逻辑结构还可以，就是表达的有欠缺！例子有点少，注意论证和例子的平衡度，不然觉得你的文章很空洞的]


                                    菜菜

kolu_renUID：158196

菜菜，非常感谢你的点评，其实我写到第三个论点的时候觉得词穷，不知道该写些什么，所以思路极其混乱，我会根据你提的意见和我搜集到的资料再认真修改的，到时还请你再次批评噢！

zehuaUID：199246

B3写的不好。主要责任在提纲！统一教育是总的趋势以及对学生的好处？这样显然不行。都写道B3了，至少应该把统一教育和特别教育作比较才行。否则你的结论不管是什么，都没有说服力。
重写提纲和B3吧！
另外，用词方面不同意 菜菜。语言要越简洁越好。高级词汇也要有，但是要少。文章的关键在于思想。

阿择菜UID：2110339

我也是想让精益求精嘛  但是是要先注重思想和逻辑了
但是要想拿6分  我们还是要注重用词的   你说是吧??


    我们的目标是 6分~~~~
                                     疯狂的菜菜~~

11yvetteUID：2102418

Contemporary society with tremendous technological changes, updating knowledge explosion, vast accumulation of data from all fields, people are demanded for further study all the time. We now experience an education-oriented society, so some people insist that only the education that specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students [student] will be effective. I cannot agree with this opinion exactly [exactly太过强硬]. In my point of view, specifically designed education do us good, but it doesn’t mean that we could overemphasize on it. We should analyze this subject in dialectic manners.观点提得很好

Specifically designed education, which takes advantage of students’ interests, can help students get twice the result with half the effort. An effective learning method is a key to large mass of knowledge. Since each person has his [or her] own characteristic such as good memory, excellent logic, good sense of mathematic and so on [such as与so on不能搭配使用]. According to these characteristics, an effective education helps them to realize that learning is a piece of cake rather than a headache. As we all know that Albert Einstein was once a disabled in school study, but his mother took him back, taught herself and let him do what he had interest----hatch eggs [是Einstein孵鸡蛋吗?记忆中好像是Edison,我也搞不太清了,只记得Einstein是受过高等教育的]. It is another new way for him to learn---observe the phenomena he was curious about and found out the [删] answers himself. In that way, he became one of the greatest scientists in the world and later [使用later on可能更好些] he showed us a brand new world. Obviously, a suitable training plays an important role in education, which broadens the horizon of students and helps them to find what fits them best. There is an old saying ” If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you have.”

In reference to the benefits of designed education, we should also pay attention that such education may encourage students to focus on the fields that they have interests. [首句比较长,但是没有切中要害] In that case, we will find a great knowledge gap between what they like and what they do not. What is serious is they do not have even the basic knowledge about the field they dislike. With the development of technology, different subjects connect with each other closer than ever before, a wider background of knowledge is a necessary demand for every competitor. Generalists are the better choice of present--day society. For instance, a teacher should have not only skills of education, but also some knowledge of psychology.这段的说理还是比较好的,如果能再深入一点就更好了^_^但是TS的提出不明确,需要改进;另外,这段应该开始引出general education了,因为下一段不是准备论述统一教育了吗?个人认为把generalists这一句稍作改动,引入统一教育,对于全文的起承转合是有积极作用的~~

If we turn our focus to the reality of career, since even the intelligent students, it is not possible for all of them to arrive at the top training establishment----definitely suitable education for their own interests and needs, it might perhaps be wise to advice students on how to make the best out of limited circumstances. It is also a good way for students to learn to accumulate knowledge they need most from the vast sea of it. The earnest they did, the longest they will keep these in their mind and in the process of filtering all kinds of knowledge, it is great treasure in all of their lives.没看到统一教育之类的词:confused:,其实在上一段已经有一个引子的情况下,这一段是可以写得很好的,可是,这里有点乱;不过词语用的是很赞!

Overall, after taking some aspects into consideration, to [删] nowadays, specifically designed education which meets the needs and interests of students does good for absorbing knowledge on the basis of individual differences, but concentrating all on it will work on the contrary. We should find the balance between these two points and get access to the more effective education.

同意zehua的意见,第三段把全文的层次打乱了,或许是限时使得很多想法没有办法在规定时间内展开吧~~
个人意见,可以在B1先提出统一教育,提出其好处;B2还是按照原来的写; 到B3再让步写特殊教育的好处,这样条理可能会清晰些~~
全文的用词真的是很好,到处都有亮点,加油加油:)

kolu_renUID：158196

多谢大家的鼓励与中肯的建议，昨晚为了熬出一篇作文，躺在床上两个小时没有睡意，而想到白天还要上班就非常沮丧，不过有这么多朋友点评我的作文，真的给我很大的鼓励！我会继续努力下去！

kolu_renUID：158196

提纲：
1. 特别设计的教育的好处
2. 特别设计教育的不足，包括基础知识的缺乏等
3. 统一教育于特殊教育的比较


Contemporary society with tremendous technological change, updating knowledge explosion, accumulation of data from all fields, people are demanded for further study all the time. We now experience an education-oriented society, so some people insist that only the education that specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students will be effective. In my point of view, we should keep a balance between special education and compulsory education.

Specifically designed education, which takes advantage of students’ interests, encourges students to have a further study in the areas which he/ her are interested in. We all share a belief that we won't get bored and give up easily when we have interests. As we know, special education which meets the individual needs, are required at different stage of our lives. For instance, to a communications undergraduate with two years experience, a more professional education which provides him practical knowledge about radio frequency is his preference. Maybe after several years, the undergraduate became a senior engineer in his field and he hoped to be a supervisor. At at time, a administrative course could commeasure his need. In short, specifically designed education is popular for its flexible content of knowledge and manifest learning result.

By conparison to merits of the special education, we should pay attention to its disadvantages. Specially education may encourage students to focus on the fields that they have interests in. But finally, we will find a great knowledge gap between what they like and what they do not. What is serious is they do not have even the basic knowledge about the field they dislike. With the development of technology, different subjects connect with each other closer than ever before, a wider background of knowledge is a necessary demand for each competitor. In the restraints of economy, situation of  population and other conditions, it is impossible for even all the intelligent students to arrive at the top training establishment. We cannot overlook the fact that if we advocate  such kind of education, in another word we will imbue our students with the idea the injustice idea.

In order to prevent such situation, we should make a compare between special education and compulsory education. Admittedly, specifically designed education is favored for meeting individual needs and the interests of each student, broadening students' horizon. But there are some defects which should be made up by complusory education. Young students are aimless, the process of learning is not systematic without any instructions. That’s why even if they can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. In my view, what is preliminary of compulsory education is helping young students to instruct a comprehensive and right moral standard. This is the basic of all.

Overall, after taking some aspects into consideration that specifically designed education benefits students for absorbing knowledge on the basis of individual differences, while compulsory education emphasize on the whole knowledge and moral structure. We should find the balance between these two points and get access to the more effective education.

翦瞳UID：184872

[ In ] Contemporary society with tremendous technological change, updating knowledge explosion, accumulation of data from all fields, people are demanded for further study all the time. We now experience an education-oriented society, so some people insist that only the education that specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students will be effective. In my point of view 不知道其正确与否， In my opinion, we should keep [ find] a balance between special education and compulsory education.

Specifically designed education, which takes advantage of students’ interests, encourges students to have a further study in the areas which he/ her are>< in interested in. We all share a belief that we won't get bored and give up easily when we have interests. As we know, special education which meets the individual needs, are required at different stage of our lives. For instance, to a communications undergraduate with two years experience, a more professional education which provides him practical knowledge about radio frequency is his preference. Maybe after several years, the undergraduate became a senior engineer in his field and he hoped to be a supervisor. At at time, a administrative course could commeasure his need. In short, specifically designed education is popular for its flexible content of knowledge and manifest learning result. [角度不错，只是engineer 也可以称为student?]

By conparison to >< compared to merits of the special education, we should pay attention to its disadvantages. Specially education may encourage students to focus on the fields that they have interests in. But finally, we will find a great knowledge gap between what they like and what they do not. What is serious is>< It is serious that they do not have even the basic knowledge about the field they dislike. With the development of technology >< as technology developing, different subjects connect with each other closer than ever before, a wider background of knowledge is a necessary demand for each competitor. In the restraints of economy, situation of  population and other conditions, it is impossible for even all the intelligent students to arrive at the top training establishment >< incompatible with the whole passage. We cannot overlook the fact that if we advocate  such kind of education, in another word we will imbue our students with the idea the injustice idea.

In order to prevent such situation, we should make a compare? search a middle way between special education and compulsory education. Admittedly, specifically designed education is favored for meeting individual needs and the interests of each student, broadening students' horizon. But there are >< special education also has >< mislead readerssome defects which should be made up by complusory education. Young students are aimless, the process of learning is not systematic without any instructions. That’s why even if they can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. In my view, what is ><unnecessary and tortuouspreliminary of compulsory education is helping young students to instruct a comprehensive and right moral standard. This is the basic of all. [convincing but flaws with some errors]

Overall, after taking some aspects into consideration that specifically designed education benefits students for absorbing knowledge on the basis of individual differences, while compulsory education emphasize on the whole knowledge and moral structure. We should find the balance between these two points and get access to the more effective education。[主句呢？最后的总结有点晦涩，还是直白写吧！]

观点还是很切题的，重点说一说 compulsory education 的好处，比如集中管理，节省资源，便于交流，当然systematic 也是优点

kolu_renUID：158196

翦瞳
多谢你的批改，我会继续修改的，但短期之内大概只会对你所指出的问题走修改，可能过段时间再会修改看看！

Chloroplast923UID：207486

你好!
我也是写Issue51的, 自己觉得有很多不足但是不知道怎么修改....
你能帮我看一下吗?

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D101