lavenderelaine2.18作文互改菜鸟要不断坚持-2010独立作文互改小组

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

第一次互改作文，由于自己从小的作文无论中文还是英文都很差，所以这次啰啰嗦嗦的大白话写了一堆，真是辛苦批改的同学了。写这篇我真是写了一整天，确切说应该是挤了一整天。希望以后能完美30min搞定啊啊 :lol 看来作文真是真枪真刀的磨练才能了解弱点，一天一天进步。自己一定要坚持，坚持在坚持的联系，力争确切、多变的用词， 完美、灵活的巨型和 清晰明了的段落结构。

菜鸟要不断坚持才能笨鸟先飞--’


多谢修改的同学，大家互相进步


2.18--2楼
2.19--8楼
2.20--12楼
2.21--17楼


阶段性总结：
2.18~2.20-【太累了……明儿上来写--‘】

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

2.18 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy your friendship.

Nowadays there is an increasing tendency that people are becoming not that sincere anymore than in the past for many reasons. One of the main reasons is that falsehood can bring out good relationships between peoples. That falsehood also exist among friends in today's society shocks me greatly. It is obvious that friends who only share the same hobby with you are not considered as real friends. It is the person who can directly point out your mistakes and then willingly cry or laugh with you instead of witness your going stray that are your true friends. Consequently, I disagree with the statement that it is better not to say or do something that may destroy your friendship at the expense of letting a friend make a mistake.
For most people, sincerity and genuineness are most determinate factors of a real friend. Nothing can receive more praise than a sincere character. Frankly speaking real friends treasure each other as life and will protect each other from troubles, on the opposite, for instance a friend who is too shallow to tell untruth may hurt “friends” deeply by those fool behaviors. To illustrate this point, let me cite an example of myself, once upon a time when I was ten years old, I joined in a composition contest and had fully prepared for it for a long time. Before handed it in, I supposed I must ask someone else to recommend on my article, aiming at achieving a higher grade. Merry, a friend of mine, corrected an obvious common sense, which I had misunderstood, after looking through my article and then wished me a good luck in the contest. What a sincere, cautious and learned friend she was. My genuine friend who point out my mistakes made me get the access to the first grade, meanwhile, what she did enhanced the friendship between us.

Another fatal reason is that merely a little mistake may destroy a person, to some extent, in that case, a wise friend will firmly stand out to bear the responsibility of reaching out a helpful hand to him/her. True friends spare no efforts caring and helping their friends at anytime and at anyplace. That's really the most precious aspect, for instance, a kind-hearted friend would send his/her close friend to prison with his/her own hands, if he/she let along the mere beginning of their friends' crimes, even if stealing 10 or 100 dollars. Reality tells us that any little mistake may develops into a huge disaster day by day if no justice come out before anything goes wrong.

Of course it would be a grave error to mislead your true friend and watch your friend struggling with troubles, on the contrary, sometimes we have to admit that a few low-risk mistakes are rational. These lessons will teach people not to repeat the same false anymore in the future.  Suppose that let a person lingers in clubs and does not have enough time to complete his homework in time. A smart friend may take this efficient method noting their friends the essence of handing in homework in time. Certainly, I mean, this is under the circumstance that an unserious mistake it is, not like drug addiction and drunk driving or anything else.

In short, truth will not break the good friendship and a friend in need is a friend indeed.

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

4# jbc88

多谢提醒！一定会认真掐算好时间！:loveliness:   麻烦JBC再帮我看看改后的  辛苦啦
1.
开头—》变简洁，开门见山表明我的观点

1.According to a recent investigation, when asked about whether it is better to let a friend make a mistake than say or do something that may destroy your friendship, people in majority tend to say yes. As for me, I strongly hold the opposite opinion that even a little mistake may destroy my friends and I should be sincere enough to say or do something for them. Reasons are as following.

2.
2.
Merry, a friend of mine, corrected an obvious common sense, which I had misunderstood（这里没看懂）其实我想说她帮我挑出了我没有发现一个尝试性的错误
改，Merry, a friend of mine, corrected a low-level error, which I had not found in the article.
3. 3. a wise friend will firmly stand out to bear the responsibility of reaching out a helpful hand to him/her（没看懂。）.
一个明智的朋友会坚定的担负起这样一种责任，那就是及时伸出援助之手。
请问我这样表达合适么？还是太chinglish了
4.       4.That's really the most precious aspect, for instance, a kind-hearted friend would send his/her close friend to prison with his/her own hands, if he/she let along the mere beginning of their friends' crimes, even if （这里主语不对哦）stealing 10 or 100 dollars.这个实在不会改了。。。jbc有高见么？ 或者我拆开来写？
5.       5.关于段落的层次，主旨安排是不太清晰符合逻辑，自己拼拼凑凑半天。
上英语班的时候作文老师说2-1型文章最好 就是3个分论点中2点支持自己的观点着重写，1点反面的略微写。所以看起来我这个最后一段很离题。不知道JBC同学见不建议我这么2-1的结构写。

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

额。。。。。。。才看到你更新的1楼。
用了1天啊！！我宁愿你用半天，也不要写这么多。。。这完全不像是在30分钟内完成的。
如果30分钟内完成不了，你就是莎士比亚2代，托福作文也肯定是很惨的分数。
记住，这是 ...
jbc88 发表于 2010-2-19 10:42

时间真是是很头疼啊， 对于我来说短时间写出来的句子我觉得象小学生的句子一样。  呃~ 看来要抓紧联系啦 娃娃哈哈哈。  :lol   再次谢谢JBC同学的修改嘿嘿

ivybettyUID: 2328308

2.18 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy your friendship., z! g" U) s1 Q- v- D & R4 E% U/ {* B& A- _) l Nowadays there is an increasing tendency that(好句型,学习了!) people are becoming not that sincere anymore than(请教than前是不是必须要一个比较级的词汇?) in the past for many reasons. One of the main reasons is that falsehood can bring out good relationships between peoples. That falsehood also exists among friends in today's(prensent如何?) society(加,which?) shocks me greatly. It is obvious that friends who only share the same hobby(hobbies) with you are not considered as real friends. It is the person who can directly point out your mistakes and then willingly cry or laugh with you instead of witness your going stray that(去掉.) are your true friends. Consequently(好词), I disagree with the statement that it is better not to say or do something that may destroy your friendship at the expense of(好词) letting a friend make a mistake., S' z. e- f8 M: F" y For most people, sincerity and genuineness are most determinate factors of(as如何?) a real friend. Nothing can receive more praise than a sincere character. Frankly speaking real friends treasure each other as life and will(去掉,保持前后一致) protect each other from troubles, on the opposite, for instance a friend who is too shallow to tell untruth may hurt “friends” deeply by those fool behaviors. To illustrate this point, let me cite an example of myself, once upon a time when I was ten years old, I joined in a composition contest and had(去掉,保持前后一致) fully prepared for it for a long time. Before handed it in, I supposed I must ask someone else to recommend on my article, aiming at achieving a higher grade. Merry, a friend of mine, corrected an obvious common sense, which I had misunderstood, after looking through my article and then wished me a good luck in the contest. What a sincere, cautious and learned friend she was. My genuine friend who point out my mistakes made me get the access to the first grade, meanwhile, what she did enhanced the friendship between us.5 C- A$ R* `2 w1 P) t, {$ L 1 N. S5 k% U% |$ ~" }' C- b Another fatal reason is that merely a little mistake may destroy a person, to some extent, in that case, a wise friend will firmly stand out to bear the responsibility of reaching out a helpful hand to him/her. True friends spare no efforts caring and helping their friends at anytime and at anyplace. That's really the most precious aspect, for instance, a kind-hearted friend would send his/her close friend to prison with his/her own hands, if he/she let along the mere beginning of their friends' crimes, even if stealing 10 or 100 dollars. Reality tells us that any little mistake may develops into a huge disaster day by day if no justice comes out before anything goes wrong.1 W2 y2 Y$ g- `, }  } 7 @' k2 G& e  o. E3 F9 D Of course it would be a grave error to mislead your true friend and watch your friend struggling with troubles, on the contrary, sometimes we have to admit that a few low-risk mistakes are rational. These lessons will teach people not to repeat the same false anymore in the future.  Suppose that let a person lingers in clubs and does(let sb do sth?不太懂这句,请LZ指教) not have enough time to complete his homework in time. A smart friend may take this efficient method noting their friends the essence of handing in homework in time. Certainly, I mean, this is under the circumstance that an unserious mistake it is, not like drug addiction and drunk driving or anything else. B  F2 N' { In short, truth will not break the good friendship and a friend in need is a friend indeed. 很多很好的词汇,学习了. LZ多注意and连接的前后一致和一些词后需加动词原形,比如:may, does, did,etc.

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?

Nowadays, a general discussion exits there these years, over the problem of whether it is more crucial for a teacher to help students to find a favorable way of gaining self-confidence or teaching them specific knowledge. Opinions varied from person to person. Some people argue the main responsibility of teachers is to help students gain self-confidence by setting up an example and utilizing some advanced educational methods, while others who hold the opposite opinions. After the information and statistics I have collected those years, I am firmly convinced that teaching specific knowledge is more important at the mere mention of teachers, for the following reasons.

First, unlike self-confidence, knowledge especially those specific knowledge must be taught by those professional guides--school teachers during class hour. Because teachers have higher educational degree and adequate precise knowledge and advanced viewpoint, they really have leant a lot about how to teach students in the viewpoint of educational experts. As we all know confidence can gained in many places like homes or
playground through parents guide or friends. It is exactly the specific knowledge that cannot be obtained without teachers.

In addition, even an average-level teacher must have an experience of teaching hundreds of students, so he/she has the ability to be acquainted with the way of guiding a student efficiently and appropriately, as well as the problems that students usually be puzzled with in advance. Let us take a simple example, when teaching mathematics, the experienced teachers will pay more attention on students' results involved in points, for teachers exactly know their former students always have errors in doing math exercises about points. Experienced teachers do them good favors in promoting students' report markets.

The extremely important thing is that teachers can motivate students’ creation and imagination during classes. To attend a class means you need to achieve the knowledge and discuss problems linked to textbooks with other students. Under this circumstance, being a guide, the teaching method becomes crucial and plays an important role in the process of students absorbing knowledge. To let their students excellent and have a favorable position in the future job market, those creative and wise teachers meticulously prepare their teaching plans and these students are bound to be creative and excellent.

In short, teaching specific knowledge is more important for teachers.

感谢阿喜和littleheart的指点！
自我改正：
1.Nowadays, a genernal discussion has caused a wide public concern that whether it is more crucial to help students gain confidence or to teach them specific knowledge.
2.Some people argue that the main responsiblity of a teacher is to help students gain self-confidence, while others hold the opposite opinion.  哇塞！致命缺点！ 多谢！！
3.With the information I have collected these years, I am firmly convinced taht...
  at the mere mention 这个是对的 。放心用吧 ^^ (*^__^*) 嘻嘻……我也觉得它很可爱
4.【Because teachers have higher educational degree and（把and换成,） adequate precise knowledge and advanced viewpoint, they really have leant a lot about how to teach students in the viewpoint of educational experts.(两句完成的话如果想用,连接中间加连词比如what’s more)】
   because  teachers have higher educational degrees, adequate precise knowledge and advanced viewpoints, they...  
   注意了 逗号
   请问我这前面有because 就不用加"what's more "了吧？     不过还是学习了 以后想把单独两句话连起来的方法啦~
5.As we all know, confidence can be gained in many places, like homes or playgrounds through parents or friends.
6.【In addition, even an average-level teacher must have an experience of teaching hundreds of students, so he/she has the ability to be acquainted with the way of guiding a student efficiently and appropriately, as well as the problems that students usually be puzzled with in advance.（这句话反复看了好几遍明白是什么意思了 但是不太清楚究竟是否正确） 】
  我想说一般水平的老师都有教过起码100个学生的经验， 所以他们知道怎么有效教学生 同时也知道学生容易在哪些地方犯错误。 （那么下次再教学生的时候就在学生犯错前能提前教他们了）
改成：
In view of sufficient experience of teachers, we have to admit that teachers are practiced in cultivating their students efficently, in that case, they are fully acquainted with what kinds of mistakes students always made.
7.creative---creativity 嘿-- 好白痴的错误啊，见笑啦~~哈哈哈
8.Attending a class means you need to achieve the knowledge and discuss problems linked to textbooks with other students.
9.have a superior position in the future job markets.
10.哈哈。最后真的是太短啦 。真的in short了改正。   


总结一下这篇 1.很跑题呀自己写得 2. 最近几天文章严重的错误就是 一个劲自己说A 好， 完全没有和B ,C 进行比较。 今天的作文要该这个毛病了。
3. 开头总是挤一堆废话在那，适得其反，把阅读文章的人弄晕了，以后应该开门见山
4.结尾不能太突了，虎头蛇尾！！  要丰富~  
最后。衷心感谢 阿喜和小心 二位的悉心指点啊！  受益匪浅！！！
加油加油~~~~   

多谢

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

7# ivybetty
:loveliness:
改正，
1. Nowadays, there is an increasing tendency that people are becoming less sincere than in the past.致命错误啊 谢谢IVY指出！
2.One of the main reasons is that falsehood can bring out good relationships between peoples.
3.That falsehood also exists among friends in present 精准！society shocks me greatly. 其实我这里想用一个主语从句。 因为开头有that所以"That falsehood also exists among friends in present society " 成了主语 ，再加+shocks.
4.请问 ..are most determinate factors as a real friend 用as是翻译成作为一个真正朋友 决定性因素是..么？  请问我想说...是判断是不是真正朋友决定性因素的话 用 of 行么
5.真得呃！ and 前后要保持一致 ，之前我都没发现过，谢谢ivy提醒。
  Frankly speaking real friends treasure each other as life and protect each other from trobles.
  I joined in a composition contest and prepared it adequatedly.
6. Suppose that let a person lingers in clubs and does(let sb do sth?不太懂这句,请LZ指教) not have enough time to complete his homework in time.
   呃，这句我写的真是够胡拽啊 ，哈哈。其实我想说 朋友喜欢在CLUB逗留，为了让他长记性以后不再这样，聪明的朋友可以不指出他的错误 故意让他因此没充足的时间写作业 。这样他以后就不再犯了。   呵呵，我再去改良一下……
7.what she did enhanced the friendship between us. 其实这句还是主语从句涅， what she did 是主语，enhanced 是整个大句子的谓语动词 过去式。
8.reality tells us a little mistake may develop into a huge disaster.
最后。真的很感激IVY的细心修改。
记住了以后 注意比较级； 动词后的s； 尤其and的前后一致。 may 后便原型终于记住了 ，老是和also混 忘了那个后面加原型。may助动词 所以加原型，also是副词 该加s 还得加s .hah
:handshake

ivybettyUID: 2328308

f) d; b; \
2.One of the main reasons is that falsehood can bring out good relationships between peoples.people没有复数形式,修改时没标"去掉s",再次纠正.
3.That falsehood also exists among friends in present 精准！society shocks me greatly. 其实我这里想用一个主语从句。 因为开头有that所以"That falsehood also exists among friends in present society " 成了主语 ，再加+shocks. 主语从句学习了!但是这个主语太长了,有点头重脚轻,还是建议加,which.:)
4.请问 ..are most determinate factors as a real friend 用as是翻译成作为一个真正朋友 决定性因素是..么？  请问我想说...是判断是不是真正朋友决定性因素的话 用 of 行么.楼主的表达无可挑剔!但是我读的时候感觉as更顺口,可能语感作怪.hoho!.
6. Suppose that let a person lingers in clubs and does(let sb do sth?不太懂这句,请LZ指教) not have enough time to complete his homework in time.
' k7 J- B4 s4 ?5 C& Z; m/ h   呃，这句我写的真是够胡拽啊 ，哈哈。其实我想说 朋友喜欢在CLUB逗留，为了让他长记性以后不再这样，聪明的朋友可以不指出他的错误 故意让他因此没充足的时间写作业 。这样他以后就不再犯了。   呵呵，我再去改良一下……这个我技穷了,等待楼主回音.
7.what she did enhanced the friendship between us. 其实这句还是主语从句涅， what she did 是主语，enhanced 是整个大句子的谓语动词 过去式。学习了

顺便请LZ方便时看一下我的帖子里回复给你的关于我的作文的修改.互相学习,共同进步!
Aza aza fighting!

刀小镜UID: 2618532

Nowadays, a general discussion exits there(去掉) these years, over the problem of whether it is more crucial for a teacher to help students to find a favorable way of gaining self-confidence or teaching them specific knowledge. Opinions varied from person to person. Some people argue the main responsibility of teachers is to help students gain self-confidence by setting up an example and utilizing some advanced educational methods, while others who(去掉) hold the opposite opinions(opinion). After（With） the information and statistics I have collected those years, I am firmly convinced that teaching specific knowledge is more important at the mere mention of （如果用法对真是个好词^^）teachers, for the following reasons.


First, unlike self-confidence, knowledge especially those specific knowledge must be taught by those professional guides--school teachers during class hour(有点啰嗦了
去掉也无妨). Because teachers have higher educational degree and（把and换成,） adequate precise knowledge and advanced viewpoint, they really have leant a lot about how to teach students in the viewpoint of educational experts.(两句完成的话如果想用,连接中间加连词比如what’s more) As we all know confidence can （be）gained in many places like homes or playground through parents guide(去掉) or friends. It is exactly the specific knowledge that cannot be obtained without teachers.


In addition, even an average-level teacher must have an experience of teaching hundreds of students, so he/she has the ability to be acquainted with the way of guiding a student efficiently and appropriately, as well as the problems that students usually be puzzled with in advance.（这句话反复看了好几遍明白是什么意思了
但是不太清楚究竟是否正确） Let us take a simple example, when teaching mathematics, the experienced teachers will pay more attention on students' results involved in points, for teachers exactly know their former students always have errors in doing math exercises about points. Experienced teachers do them good favors in promoting students' report markets.


The extremely important thing is that teachers can motivate students’ creation（creativity） and imagination during classes. To attend a class means you need to achieve the knowledge and discuss problems linked to textbooks with other students. Under this circumstance, being a guide, the teaching method becomes crucial and plays an important role in the process of students absorbing knowledge. To let their students excellent and have a favorable position in the future job market, those creative and wise teachers meticulously prepare their teaching plans and these students are bound to be creative and excellent.（这一段只是在说老师的重要性 并非说教知识的重要性 有些偏题）


In short, teaching specific knowledge is more important for teachers.(结尾段有些过于简洁了
觉得有些不妥
最好能多blabla一些)


觉得姑娘的观点着重于说老师的重要性是否有些偏离主题？

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

一个小时零一刻完成的， 虽然还是超时很多 但是进步很多了。开心。继续加油！

2.20 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid at least as much as doctors, lawyers or business leaders are paid.

Last month, the city government authorities of education launched a new policy that school teachers are forbidden to give lessons off their own school, which means they are forced to concentrate more on their duty. I am confused why can't school principals pay adequate money to these teachers? In my perspective, I insist that teachers should be paid higher than before, even if as high as those riches, for the following reasons.

Obviously, it is undisputable that higher salary assures the living standards of teachers better. Why teachers rashly spend their weekends on extra educating off school after whole five days work teaching their students in their own school? The answer is clearly that the salary they had received could not support their families’ daily spending well. Like other normal people, teachers who are called angles in students' learning days also desire enough money to live a better life. Only owning a comfortable life can guarantee teachers' sufficient concentration on teaching their students. Without worries of being under the risks of starvation, teachers can then prepare their teaching plans meticulously, as well as, spare more time on their students' growth both mentally and physically.

A recent survey conducted by experts shows that person's metal level has a closed relationship with his/her physical level, which means that higher salary increases metal level of teachers. Because adequate money makes it a possible that teacher use extra money watching movies, buying books and CDs, even attending classes to further their teaching skills. Consequently, higher salary enhances the teachers' spiritual level, meanwhile, benefits students a lot. Take my high school music teachers, Ann, for example, she was more creative and humorous than my primary school music teachers Marry because of the adequate funds of her. Ann always bought some music posters in original edition as gifts for us, in addition, he told us the feeling of her first watching of the English music movie--The Song of Music and then played that video for us. I believe Ann is the greatest music teacher in my life.

The most crucial reason is that the policy will promote the wishes of graduates of being a teacher in the future. Higher salary motive the quantity of teachers, in return, supply more excellent teachers to the society. Take a simple things for example, due to the favorable policy, one of my middle school classmates Lin Lee attended university without paying a penny on her college tuition fees for the prerequisite that her major--primary education. From then on, given the beneficial treatment on tuitions and the later rising on salary pays, Le studies more hard and then got high markets on her graduate reports. Now she has already become an outstanding primary English teacher in a first-class primary school in our country.

From what has been discuss above, I can safely draw the conclusion that higher salary on teachers extremely benefits students, teachers themselves, even if the society as a whole and the govrnment authourities shoulp pay more attention on teachers' treatment.

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?
Nowadays, a general discussion exits there（here） these years, over the problem of whether it is more crucial for a teacher to help students to find a favorable way of gaining self-confidence or teaching(和前面保持一致 to teach) them specific knowledge. Opinions varied from person to person. Some people argue (that)the main responsibility of teachers is to help students gain self-confidence by setting up an example and utilizing some advanced educational methods, while others who hold the opposite opinions. After the information and statistics I have collected those years, I am firmly convinced that teaching specific knowledge is more important at the mere mention of teachers, for the following reasons.这种开头可以增加你的文章字数，不过个人觉得你没必要说这么多模版式的套话，与主题无关，对你的行文也没太多用处~~
First, unlike self-confidence, knowledge especially those specific knowledge must be taught by those professional guides--school teachers during class hour. Because teachers have higher educational degree and adequate precise knowledge and advanced viewpoint, they really have learnt a lot about how to teach students in the viewpoint of educational experts. As we all know confidence can gained in many places like homes or: a2 N0 z1 _+ e$ r. Z
playground through parents guide or friends. It is exactly the specific knowledge that cannot be obtained without teachers. （这段不错，与主题贴的很近）
In addition, even an average-level teacher must have an experience of teaching hundreds of students, so he/she has the ability to be acquainted with the way of guiding a student efficiently and appropriately, as well as （dealing）the problems that students usually be puzzled with in advance. Let us take a simple example, when teaching mathematics, the experienced teachers will pay more attention on students' results involved in points, for teachers exactly know their former students always have errors in doing math exercises about points. Experienced teachers do them good favors in promoting students' report markets.(这段没有说到和建立self-confidence的对比，只是一味的说teaching specific knowledge~)
. H; i+ A7 ]; p1 D( ]' t( @
The extremely important thing is that teachers can motivate students’ creation and imagination during classes. To attend（我习惯这里用Attending） a class means you need to achieve the knowledge and discuss problems linked to textbooks with other students. Under this circumstance, being a guide, the teaching method becomes crucial and plays an important role（重复了~） in the process of students absorbing knowledge. To let their students excellent and have a favorable（可用superior） position in the future job market, those creative and wise teachers meticulously prepare their teaching plans and these students are bound to be creative and excellent(这段和上段一个问题， 没有很好的支持，也不能证明你的观点).
In short, teaching specific knowledge is more important for teachers.太短了吧~估计是没时间了~
楼主的一些句子有直译的感觉，多积累些好句子可能会好些，还有就是结构，话题是两个方面的，你不能只说一个好，而不管另一个，要二者兼顾，才能使你的论证更有说服力~~个人拙见~加油~O(∩_∩)O~

ivybettyUID: 2328308

又见面了:handshake

Last month, the city government authorities of education launched a new policy that school teachers are forbidden to give lessons off their own school, which means they are forced to concentrate more on their duty. I am confused why can't school principals pay adequate money to these teachers? In my perspective, I insist that teachers should be paid higher than before, even if as high as those riches, for the following reasons.

Obviously, it is undisputable that higher salary assures the living standards of teachers better. Why teachers rashly spend their weekends on extra educating off school(campus如何?) after whole five days work teaching their students in their own school? The answer is clearly that the salary they had received could not support their families’ daily spending well. Like other normal people, teachers who are called angles in students' learning days? also desire enough money to live a better life. Only owning a comfortable life can guarantee teachers' sufficient concentration on teaching their students. Without worries of being under the risks of starvation, teachers can then prepare their teaching plans meticulously, as well as, spare more time on their students' growth both mentally and physically.

A recent survey conducted by experts shows that person's metal level has a closed relationship with his/her physical level, which means that higher salary increases (加the better?) metal level of teachers. Because adequate money makes it a possible that teacher use extra money watching movies, buying books and CDs, even attending classes to further their teaching skills. Consequently, higher salary enhances the teachers' spiritual level, meanwhile, benefits students a lot. Take my high school music teachers, Ann, for example, she was more creative and humorous than my primary school music teachers Marry because of the adequate funds of her. Ann always bought some music posters in original edition as gifts for us, in addition, she told us the feeling of her first watching of the English music movie--The Song of Music and then played that video for us. I believe Ann is the greatest music teacher in my life (because she isn't lack of money to cultivate her interests想补充一句使例子更加支持观点,不知这样可以吗?)

The most crucial reason is that the policy will promote the wishes of graduates of being a teacher in the future. Higher salary motive(motivates?) the quantity of teachers, in return, supply(supplies?) more excellent teachers to the society. Take a simple things for example, due to the favorable policy, one of my middle school classmates Lin Lee attended university without paying a penny on her college tuition fees for the prerequisite that her major--primary education. From then on, given the beneficial treatment on tuitions and the later rising on salary pays, Le studies more hard(harder?) and then got(gets?) high markets on her graduate reports. Now she has already become an outstanding primary English teacher in a first-class primary school in our country.

From what has been discuss(ed) above, I can safely draw the conclusion that higher salary on teachers extremely benefits students, teachers themselves, even if the society as a whole and the govrnment authourities shoulp pay more attention on teachers' treatment.

文章观点新颖,举例丰富!

美中不足,没有探讨老师和职业律师\医生\高管同筹的原因,只强调了老师应当获得高薪.

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.20 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid at least as much as doctors, lawyers or business leaders are paid.

Last month, the city government authorities of education launched a new policy that school teachers are forbidden to give lessons off(真的这么用？) their own school, which means they are forced to concentrate more on their duty. I am confused why can't school principals pay adequate money to these teachers? In my perspective, I insist that teachers should be paid higher than before, even if（这里感觉怪怪的，这个句子改成这样呢？I insist that teachers should be paid higher than before, at least as high as the rich, ...) as high as those riches, for the following reasons.

Obviously, it is undisputable(我怎么觉得indisputable用的多点?我搞错了？) that higher salary assures the living standards of teachers better. Why teachers rashly spend their weekends on extra educating off school after whole five days work teaching their students in their own school? The answer is clearly that the salary they had received could not support their families’ daily spending well(时态我觉得用现在时就好了，还有直接是support one's family不行么，还有个好像是feed and clothe sb表示养活的意思）. Like other normal(normal好像表示精神正常的意思，反义词是abnormal就是精神不正常) people, teachers who are called angles（会不会是angel) in students' learning days also desire enough money to live a better life. Only owning a comfortable life can guarantee teachers' sufficient concentration on teaching their students. Without worries of being under the risks of starvation, teachers can then prepare their teaching plans meticulously, as well as, spare more time on their students' growth both mentally and physically.

A recent survey conducted by experts shows that person's metal(mental?) level has a closed relationship with his/her physical level, which means that higher salary increases metal level of teachers. Because adequate money makes it a possible that teacher use extra money watching movies, buying books and CDs, even attending classes to further their teaching skills. Consequently, higher salary enhances the teachers' spiritual level, meanwhile, benefits students a lot. Take my high school music teachers, Ann, for example, she was more creative and humorous than my primary school music teachers Marry because of the adequate funds(这个表示基金的意思，要么用奖金bonus) of her. Ann always bought some music posters in original edition as gifts for us, in addition, he(she?) told us the feeling of her first watching of the English music movie--The Song of Music and then played that video for us. I believe Ann is the greatest music teacher in my life.

The most crucial reason is that the policy will promote the wishes of graduates of being a teacher in the future. Higher salary motive(motivates) the quantity of teachers, in return, supply more excellent teachers to the society. Take a simple things(thing) for example, due to the favorable policy, one of my middle school classmates Lin Lee attended university without paying a penny on her college tuition fees(直接for free) for the prerequisite that her major--primary education. From then on, given(with) the beneficial treatment（favor会不会好些?) on tuitions and the later rising on salary pays, Le studies more hard and then got high markets(marks) on her graduate reports. Now she has already become an outstanding primary English teacher in a first-class primary school in our country.

From what has been discuss above, I can safely draw the conclusion that higher salary on teachers extremely benefits students(高工资造福学生，还是应该the policy of higher salaries extremey benefits students), teachers themselves, even if the society as a whole and the govrnment(government) authourities (我其实有点没看明白teachers themselves这个到底是跟着上面还是下面。另外全社会和有权有势的人这个并列有点怪，改成the authorities and even the society as a whole或者the society as a whole particularly the authorities会不会好点)shoulp(should) pay more attention on teachers' treatment.3 i,

:) 基本上都很好，没有什么问题，就是一些细节。

基本上语法没啥大问题，但是有些用法的地方有点怪怪的，很多都是我没见过的（就是在其他英文文章中没有读到的），但是可能你见过。所以我用一些我熟悉的短语，或者我见过的短语替上去了，你可以随便看看。因为很可能是你是对的。

我总是觉得只有真正见过这么用的，才可以用。有些可能只是在词典上见过，但是其实并不知道怎么用的话，还是少用为妙。