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[活动] 进军美利坚作文 by晗 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-10-7 23:01:08 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 karen_0315 于 2009-10-9 09:56 编辑

第一次交作文作业,写的比较急,多多批评Technology cause children show less creative thanthey were in past.

There iswidely a debate over the technology concerning its controversial effects.Techniques are two-side swords. A growing number of people have realized theadverse results of technology during its development, especially when it is interms of cultivating children. Someone claims “technology cause children showless creative than they were in past.” However, I cannot agree with suchassertion that overlooks techniques have vastly benefit children’s education.

Bothstandard and amount of knowledge modern people outweigh the people in the past.It is well known that Edison began to invent when he was young, and the socalled “Renaissance men”, like Da Vinci painted his marvelous work when he wasa teenager. History has applied us numerous good examples for the creativechildren. However, it is still unfair to draw the absolute conclusion thattechnology have caused children less creative. Modern society is based on thecreations and contributions of past, that is to say, our ancients have providedus convenient inventions and discovered science knowledge, which lead to theerudite of modern people. And today’s children, which based on but not in thesame horizon of previous great people, are creating new work in the differentway and aspect. For example, compared with have talent in astronomy and mathematics,modern children pay more attention on computer system and digital system. Thus,based on the learnt plenty of knowledge, children in today are no lesscreative, even more than past.

Thefunction of technology in education acts as an impetus rather than barrier. Asthe vessel of transferring information, technology such as computers andmultimedia techniques teach students knowledge both of past and modern in a vividand enlightened way. For tradition education, it is limited to teach studentscurrent affairs. On the other hand, Internet can make it in a rapid and effectiveway. Students, from the Internet, can not only be informed fresh news but alsothe sharpest and insightful comment, and therefore form their own creativeopinion. Hence, technology plays the vital role in setting up creative works ofchildren instead of the devil role.

To sumup, I cannot agree with the opinion above neglecting the advantagestechnologies gave in education. The development of modern society has madepeople largely different from past, so do the horizon of creation. Modernchildren could have their own new inventive thoughts with the help ofhigh-techs.

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发表于 2009-10-8 14:33:54 |显示全部楼层
1008作业 by晗
10.8  是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects?

The rapid development of technology has vastly changed our society and our daily lives. What we eat, what we hear and what we see are all the results of technology. There is no need to get close to people just for hearing their voice due to telephone can convey their voice to you by only several lines whenever and wherever you are. Also, people are getting erudite because television spread the latest current affairs and various knowledge concerning both science and arts. Compared with these greatest works in last century, I hold my opinion television brought more effects to our social life.

First of all, to the commercial aspect in our society, television changed the formation of selling. Before its invention, the formation of selling and advertising of goods seemed monotonous-- promotions in front of the markets and posters on the walls, which are lack of activity and vigor. However, since the introduction of commercial, both the process of our purchase and the strategies of companies had changed a lot. It is no denying that when we make decision of buying the potential function of commercial affect. The brand images and inspiring slogans play repeatedly in the television made us inevitable. After the long time exposure, our brains will undoubtedly be washed therefore our purchase behaviors will be influenced by the transformation in our minds. In addition, the competition of industry companies is becoming fiercer and fiercer under the effects of television. Due to commercials of television are the most efficient and effective way of propaganda, no sellers want to lost such golden opportunities and that’s why the advertising price in prime time is so high. Thus, the effects of television have changed our economics so much no only for consumers but also for producers.

Secondly, in the political and idealism world, television also plays the irreplaceable role. Politicians spread their claims through television rather than telephones, because TV not only saves much time and labors but also convey propaganda accurately. What we also should realize is some of the content of television programs also transfer society values and ideals which help set up the social belief system of people.

Last but not least, we can learn different areas of knowledge from television programs. There is limitation of school education because they always teach students the primary standard knowledge or the professional standard in a single area. On the contrast, television tells us knowledge of various fields and even people who are out of school can reach it easily. That’s to say, television is the helper of study.

Although telephone also brought us many benefits and convenience, compared with television, I still believe television influences us more in every aspect of our life—economics, politics and education.

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发表于 2009-10-8 21:47:36 |显示全部楼层
There iswidely(widely副词修饰debate?) a debate over the technology concerning its controversial effects.Techniques are two-side swords. A growing number of people have realized theadverse results of technology during its development, especially when it is in terms of cultivating children. Someone claims “technology cause children showless creative than they were in past.” However, I cannot agree with suchassertion that overlooks techniques have vastly benefit children’s education.

M! @; V( d+ y1 x7 F
Both standard and amount of knowledge modern people outweigh the people in the past(这句话有问题).It is well known that Edison began to invent when he was young, and the socalled “Renaissance men”, like Da Vinci painted his marvelous work when he was a teenager. History has applied us numerous good examples for(of) the creativechildren. However, it is still unfair to draw the absolute conclusion thattechnology have caused children less creative. Modern society is based on thecreations and contributions of past, that is to say, our ancients have providedus convenient inventions and discovered science knowledge, which lead to the erudite(这个是形容词) of modern people. And today’s children, which based on but not in thesame horizon of previous great people, are creating new work in the differentway and aspect. For example, compared with have talent in astronomy and mathematics,modern children pay more attention on computer system and digital system. Thus,based on the learnt plenty of knowledge, children in(in不需要) today are no less creative, even more than past. Edison和davinci 都是过去的孩子,应该举现在的孩子为例

z5 x6 `" g( J
Thefunction of technology in education acts as an impetus rather than barrier. Asthe vessel of transferring information, technology such as computers andmultimedia techniques teach students knowledge both of past and modern in a vividand enlightened way. For tradition education, it is limited to teach studentscurrent affairs. On the other hand, Internet can make it in a rapid and effectiveway. Students, from the Internet, can not only be informed fresh news but alsothe sharpest and insightful comment, and therefore form their own creativeopinion. Hence, technology plays the vital role in setting up creative works ofchildren instead of the devil role.3 a$ Z- u4 j) ?& h* f* k

To sumup, I cannot agree with the opinion above neglecting the advantages technologies gave in(give to,可能换个动词更好) education. The development of modern society has madepeople largely different from past, so do the horizon (是不是level更好)of creation. Modernchildren could have their own new inventive thoughts with the help ofhigh-techs.

语法错误有点多。。
有些Chinglish,表达不太好,可以多想想。。
拙见~

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枫华正茂 新任版主

发表于 2009-10-8 23:24:19 |显示全部楼层
There iswidely a debate over the technology concerning its controversial effects.Techniques are two-side swords. A growing number of people have realized the adverse  adversal results of technology during its development, especially when it is in terms of cultivating children. Someone claims “technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.” However, I cannot agree with such assertion that overlooks techniques have vastly benefit children’s education overlook s是做什么成分的?看不懂 ., c8 \& move. [  
Both standard and amount of knowledge modern people outweigh the people in the past 我明白你这句话的意思  both那个短语应该提到后面去 .It is well known that Edison began to invent 感觉不好  改为career 好些 when he was young, and the so-called “Renaissance men”, like Da Vinci painted his marvelous work when he wasa teenager. History has applied us numerous good examples for the creativechildren. 个人认为  不利于自己观点的那些论据不说最好  这样既省时间 又有好处  However, it is still unfair to draw the absolute conclusion that technology have caused children less creative. Modern society is based on the creations and contributions of past 感觉提到前面好些, that is to say, our ancients ancestors have provided us convenient inventions and discovered science knowledge  有点chiglish, which lead to the erudite of modern people erudite是形容词  不能这样用. And today’s children 同样chiglish , which based on but not in the same horizon of previous great people, are creating new work in the different way and aspect. For example, compared children in acient times with  have talent in astronomy and mathematics,modern children pay more attention on computer system and digital system. Thus,based on the learnt plenty of knowledge  ????, children in today chiglish  呵呵  are not less creative, even more than past.
Thefunction of technology in education acts as an impetus rather than barrier. As with the vessel of transferring information, technology such as computers and multimedia techniques teach students knowledge both of past and modern in a vividand enlightened way. For traditional education, it is limited to teach students current affairs. On the other hand, Internet can make it in a rapid and effective way. Students, from the Internet, can not only be informed fresh news but alsothe sharpest and insightful comment, and therefore form their own creativeopinion. Hence, technology plays the vital role in setting up creative works ofchildren instead of the devil role.
To sumup, I cannot agree with the opinion above neglecting the advantages  technologies gave in to education. The development of modern society has madepeople largely different from past, so do the horizon of creation. Modernchildren could have their own new inventive thoughts with the help ofhigh-techs.


总的来说  内容不错   语法有待加强

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发表于 2009-10-9 00:51:15 |显示全部楼层
错误真的好多,谢谢大家了~

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发表于 2009-10-9 15:49:35 |显示全部楼层
The rapid development of technology has vastly changed our society and our daily lives. What we eat, what we hear and what we see are all the results of technology. (个人见解,感觉有点怪怪的。)There is no need to get close to people just for hearing their voice due to telephone can convey their voice to you by only several lines whenever and wherever you are. Also, people are getting erudite because television spread the latest current affairs and various knowledge concerning both science and arts. Compared with these greatest works in last century, I hold my opinion television brought more effects to our social life.; ]2 M#

First of all, to the commercial aspect in our society, television changed the formation of selling. Before its invention, the formation of selling and advertising of goods seemed monotonous-- promotions in front of the markets and posters on the walls, which are (were)lack of activity and vigor. However, since the introduction of commercial, both the process of our purchase and the strategies of companies had changed a lot. It is no denying that when we make decision of buying the potential function of commercial affect. The brand images and inspiring slogans play repeatedly in the television made us inevitable. After the long time exposure, our brains will undoubtedly be washed therefore our purchase behaviors will be influenced by the transformation in our minds. In addition, the competition of industry companies is becoming fiercer and fiercer under the effects of television. Due to commercials of television are the most efficient and effective way of propaganda, no sellers want to lost such golden opportunities and that’s why the advertising price in prime time is so high. Thus, the effects of television have changed our economics so much no only for consumers but also for producers.9 ~% y" j2 D8 V4 E/ s
感觉这段过多的挪用了广告的效用。虽然广告是电视机提供的,但是也是间接的。)

Secondly, in the political and idealism world, television also plays the irreplaceable role. Politicians spread their claims through television rather than telephones, because TV not only saves much time and labors but also convey(conveys) propaganda accurately. What we also should realize is some of the content of television programs also transfer society values and ideals(ideas) which help set up the social belief system of people. / t1 E0 g6 U" g+ s


总体还很不错的,个人见解,不足之处请见谅。

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发表于 2009-10-9 18:10:29 |显示全部楼层
10.9 你同不同意现在的人们没有以前friendly

In modern society, more and more people argue that people in present world are much less friendly than the past. While I mostly agree such claim because people are separated by some factors that force them to be less friendly.

First of all, we have to realize the primary reason of indifferences among people and I blame it to the development of technology. When the rapid development of technology brought us the numerous benefits and convenience, at the same time, it also results in the less friendly. The inventions of trains and planes, as well as globalism make it possible to work and travel far from their hometown. When facing strangers and different races, people tend to keep silence and therefore became a habit. Computers and Internet providing long distance communication and interesting games are separating people from reality. As a consequence, people gradually began to neglect everything around, as well as their neighbors, even families. High-tech facilities are actually lead to less friendly of people.

In addition, the economy system also contributes to indifference among people. There is no denying that modern society is full of benefits and profits and materialism has become the belief of most of people. The result of such changing is people prefer to concern others who have relationship and profit association with them. On the contrary, the ones who won’t benefit them are always ignored. Thus, the development of economy is another cause of less friendly.

Can you name your neighbors? Do you know the habits of all your classmates? Will you cost the whole day to help a stranger do his/her stuff? I believe everyone will give a negative answer because they have nothing to do with you. That’s the common psychology of most of present people because of the limited time, limited energy and self-centered mind, as well as the habit of indifference.

Hence, I agree with the claim above because people in the modern indeed lost their patience to others and become less and less friendly. The development of technology and economy could be blamed, but what’s more, people should look back on their humanities.

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发表于 2009-10-10 00:07:19 |显示全部楼层

RE: 进军美利坚作文 by晗

There is a (wide) debate over the technology concerning its controversial effects. Techniques are (technology is) two-side swords. A growing number of people have realized the adverse results (effect replace results) of technology during its development, especially when it is in terms of cultivating children. Someone claims “technology cause (causes) children show less creative than they were in past.” However, I cannot agree with such assertion that overlooks techniques (techniques’ effect), (which) have vastly benefit children’s education.


q6 O5 V- @
Both standard and amount of knowledge modern people (gain) outweigh (outweighs that) the people (did) in the past. It is well known that Edison began to invent when he was young, and the so called “Renaissance men”, like Da Vinci painted his marvelous work when he was a teenager. History has applied us numerous good examples for the creative children. However, it is still unfair (arbitrary replace unfair) to draw the absolute conclusion that technology have (has) caused children less creative. Modern society is based on the creations and contributions of past (“modern society is the continuous of the past”, I think, would be better than the front one), that is to say, our ancients have provided us convenient inventions and discovered science knowledge, which lead to the erudite of modern people. And today’s children, which (who) based (base) on (them) but (are) not in the same horizon of previous great people, are creating new work(s) in the different way and aspect. For example, compared with (the ancient who) have talent in astronomy and mathematics, modern children pay more attention on computer system and digital system. Thus, based on the learnt plenty of knowledge, children in today are no less creative, even more than past.


r' J2 x/ n9 R9 o) K
The function of technology in education acts as (“Is” would be better than acts as because the function is, not acts as) an impetus rather than barrier. As the vessel of transferring information, technology such as computers and multimedia techniques teach students knowledge both of past and modern in a vivid and enlightened way. For tradition education, it is limited to teach students current affairs. On the other hand, Internet can make it in a rapid and effective way. Students, from the Internet, can not only be informed fresh news but also the sharpest and insightful comment, and therefore form their own creative opinion. Hence, technology plays the vital (positive) role in setting up creative works of children instead of the devil role.9 m; q7 Z4 F9 R
- M: F9 H- q; e
To sum up, I cannot agree with the opinion (that) neglecting (neglects) the advantages technologies gave in (bring to) education. The development of modern society has made people largely different from past, so do the horizon of creation. Modern children could have their own new inventive thoughts with the help of high-techs.

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发表于 2009-10-10 00:36:32 |显示全部楼层
上层的仁兄改的很好,多谢~

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2009-10-10 15:56:21 |显示全部楼层
NIn modern society, more and more people argue that people in present world are much less friendly than the past. While I mostly agree such claim because people are separated by some factors--我觉得说被一些因素影响了要好吧 are affected by some factores that force them to be less friendly.

st of all, we have to realize the primary reason of indifferences among people and I blame it to the development of technology. When the rapid development of technology没有主语(it) brought us the numerous benefits and convenience, at the same time, it also results in the less friendly (for people). The inventions of trains and planes, as well as globalism make it (is) possible to work and travel far from their hometown. When facing strangers and different races, people tend to keep silence and therefore became a habit. Computers and Internet providing long distance communication and interesting games are separating people from reality.修改下可以用分词表达一部分,而且逻辑上可以再看看. As a consequence, people gradually began to neglect everything around, as well as their neighbors, even families. High-tech facilities are actually lead to less friendly of people.

In addition, the economy system also contributes to indifference among people. There is no denying that modern society is full of benefits and profits and so materialism has become the belief of most of people. The result of such changing is people prefer to concern others who have relationship and profit association with them知道你的意思,对有利可图的人友好.prefer to concern their relatives or people who could benefit them. On the contrary, the ones who won’t benefit them are always ignored. Thus, the development of economy is another cause of less friendly.

Can you name your neighbors? Do you know the habits of all your classmates? Will you cost the whole day to help a stranger do his/her stuff? I believe everyone(most people) will give a negative answer because they have nothing to do with you. That’s the common psychology of most of present people because of the limited time, limited energy and self-centered mind, as well as the habit of indifference.

Hence, I agree with the claim above because people in the modern indeed lost their patience to others and become less and less friendly. The development of technology and economy could be blamed, but what’s more, people should look back on their humanities 观点表达了,句子得加强. 不少都不算是复杂句子, 长的简单句都.可以适当换换新句型

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发表于 2009-10-10 23:14:36 |显示全部楼层
1010
With the popularity of computer and Internet, a increasing number of people begin to be attracted by computer games. At the same time, more and more people in the society, especially parents and teachers, worry about the impacts of computer games on children. Although computer games can help students completely relax and release their study pressure, in my point of view, they are still a kind of wasting precious time and even have adverse effects on children.

The first reason to support my point is that children who are lack of the ability of self-control are much easier to abandon themselves into computer games. When be attracted by the vivid and dazzling world, homework and obligations will be ignored. Education is important to juveniles because hey can not only get the basic knowledge and skill of survival in the future but some vital spirits like persistence, honesty and diligence. This is a process of socialization which make sure children will make contributions rather than crimes in the future. Unfortunately, computer games deprive them from education without conscious. Once they realize, they may encounter horrible problems such as unemployed or committing crimes. Thus, it is unjustifiable to allow children spend their classes and homework time on computer games.

What’s more, the content of many computer games are harm for the development of children. Computer games are always full of violence and sex factors which should not be reached by children. The best university in our country published a study recently which showed people who were often exposed to violent scenes are more likely to express violence when they became adults. This research illustrates the adverse effects of violence computer games and the unpredictable results in the future. Hence, it is not only a kind of wasting time but also damaging the pure hearts of our children.

To sum up, I totally agree with the claim above. Because computer games, as I argued above, consuming prime time of children and hinder the development of them.

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发表于 2009-10-10 23:28:41 |显示全部楼层
10# 我是chineselady 我就是每次写作文的时候都觉得句型特别缺乏,永远是那么几句。

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发表于 2009-10-11 18:05:27 |显示全部楼层
1011作文作业
Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

With the development of technology and the trend of globalization, there is a controversy over whether people should live in one place all life or not. While many people assert that people should live in the place they were born and make the whole life contribution to it, however, in my point of view, it is totally based on devoted but narrow thought. Due to the whole world is becoming a smaller village, it is justifiable to choose people’s living condition according to their preference. I hold my opinion as follow.

To beginning, people choose their living places based on personal development. Human nature decides people have the spirits of continuous developing and self-improvement. In this point, when grow up to a certain stage which is prior to their hometown’s level, people tend to leave their current situation for better future. For instance, Marie Curie, the preeminent chemist and the first Nobel Prize owner, left her beloved country Poland to France to learn the advanced physics and chemistry knowledge which cannot be informed from her lagged hometown. Marie Curie’s intelligence and scientific capacity much outweighed the scientific level in Poland at that time. If people force her to stay at her hometown, there was not the discovery of polonium (named after her hometown Poland) and the invention of X-ray used in medicine treatment. Thus, rather than restraining live in one single place, it is much reasonable to allow people make decision to live according their self-development.

What’s more, high standard of education and living condition are always provided in developed places such as metropolitans. It is unfair for people who were born in a developing place get inferior education and equal education should be advocated. That’s reason of students from various places go to big cities, like Beijing, Shanghai to go to universities, and it is also the reason for thousands of earnest students look forward to study in America where the best education is offered. In turn, the advanced study can also bring benefit to their hometowns. The knowledge people learned may share with others and the money they earned could donate to build their lagged towns. Hence, it should be encouraged to live and study in more advanced places both for personal aspect and the further development of undeveloped areas.

To sum up, the assertion above is absurd and lack of far-sightedness. It is wise for people who have excellent ability to live outside their hometowns; it’s a kind of just right and may even bring profit for their original places.

423

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发表于 2009-10-11 20:48:04 |显示全部楼层
With the popularity of computer and Internet, a(an) increasing number ofpeople begin to be attracted by computer games. At the same time, moreand more people in the society, especially parents and teachers, worryabout the impacts of computer games on children. Although computergames can help students completely relax and release their studypressure, in my point of view, they are still a kind of wastingprecious time and even have adverse effects on children.+ _1 g( {* s& K( O7 Q/ g/ R( F
# e6 q8 g( z4 r+ I- ^3 \% P8 K
The first reason to support my point is that children who are lack ofthe ability of self-control(self-control ability) are much easier to abandon themselves intocomputer games(addict to the computer games). When be attracted by the vivid and dazzling world,homework and obligations will be ignored. Education is important tojuveniles because hey can not only get the basic knowledge and skill ofsurvival in the future but (obtain)some vital spirits like persistence, honestyand diligence. This is a process of socialization which make surechildren will make contributions rather than crimes in the future.Unfortunately, computer games deprive them from education withoutconscious. Once they realize, they may encounter horrible problems suchas unemployed or committing crimes. Thus, it is unjustifiable to allowchildren spend their classes and homework time on computer games.
( F1 q, d# _6 }3 N* u7 o
  {3 o5 W" i2 E2 CWhat’s more, thecontent of many computer games are harm(harmful) for the development ofchildren. Computer games are always full of violence and sex factorswhich should not be reached by(spread to) children. The best university in ourcountry published a study recently(放句首) which showed people who were oftenexposed to violent scenes are more likely to express violence when theybecame adults. This research illustrates the adverse effects ofviolence computer games and the (their)unpredictable results in the future.Hence, it is not only a kind of wasting time but also damaging the purehearts of our children.
5 D5 @+ @1 L2 T$ c
$ W) L. e; a# E9 c- F3 b" T6 UTosum up, I totally agree with the claim above. Because computer games,as I argued above, consuming prime time of children and hinder thedevelopment of them.

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发表于 2009-10-11 20:49:28 |显示全部楼层
再多练练表述吧,怎么能把中心句解释清楚。例子不错,但表述上还得下功夫

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RE: 进军美利坚作文 by晗 [修改]

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