10.7作文

LRXSSUID: 2695903

Nowadays, there is a general controversy over the issue whether Technology cause children show less creative than they were in past. Well, in my points of view, this viewpoint is just making a irrelevant comparison.
Firstly, technology doesn’t make children less creative. Actually, technology helps children develop their intelligence in several ways. For instance, multimedia is now playing an important role in the school education. On a physics lesson, the teacher can use it to display a video of some profound process. So the students will have a better understanding of it. Based on a clearer illustration, it will be certainly easier for them to expand the theory and make some creations.
In addition, the invention of the computer has provided us with a much easier access to the entire planet, which is useful for us to get informed of all the top high-tech productions. And that would stimulate our creativity.
Secondly, let us assume that our children are less creative then they were in the past. Nevertheless, it is won’t be our technology to blame. In my perspective, it is our education system that causes the negative effect. In china, for example, the entrance exam for universities isn’t reasonable on the aspect of creative thinking. We are just taught some certain formulas to solve our problems. That is to say, the score means everything. Creative thinking can’t find even a corner to survive in this kind of education system.
As illustrated above, technology shouldn’t be regarded as the very reason. The rapid development of the technology does good to us on the creative thinking issue while there are other things to be responsible for the problem.

karen_0315UID: 2590040

10.7作文

Nowadays, there is a general controversy over  the issue whether “Technology cause  children show less creative than they were in past”.  （引用要加引号的）Well,  in my points of view, this viewpoint is just making a irrelevant comparison.   Firstly, technology doesn’t make  children less creative. Actually, technology helps children develop their  intelligence in several ways. For instance, multimedia is now playing an  important role in the school education. On a physics lesson, the teacher can  use it to display a video of some profound process. So the students will have  a better understanding of it. Based on a clearer illustration, it will be  certainly easier for them to expand (on/upon) the  theory and make some creations.   In addition, the invention of the computer has provided us with a much easier  access to the entire planet, which is useful for us to get informed of all  the top high-tech productions. And that would stimulate our creativity.（这段应该和上面是一段吧）    Secondly, let us assume that our children are  less creative then they were in the past. Nevertheless, it is won’t be our  technology to blame. In my perspective, it is our education system that  causes the negative effect. In china, for example, the entrance exam for  universities isn’t reasonable on the aspect of creative thinking. We are just  taught some certain formulas to solve our problems. That is to say, the score  means everything. Creative thinking can’t find even a corner to survive in  this kind of education system.   As illustrated above, technology  shouldn’t be regarded as the very reason. The rapid development of the  technology does good to us on the creative thinking issue while there are  other things to be responsible for the problem.

总结：语言不错，结构应该也不错但是稍微显乱，inaddition 应该是上面一段的吧，要不自己一段太显得单薄了。还有个人以前看的东西说主题句最好不要用否定形式，比如说第二段的TS
：Firstly, technology doesn’tmake children less creative.虽然意思是肯定的但是不如肯定形式有说服力，建议把第二句挪过去当第一句。
第一次给别人作文评价我想应该是这样吧~:loveliness:
还有，给我的第一印象是字数有点少，其实可能也符合字数要求的，只是感觉有点少，可能论证问题不会太充分，至少也要300字~350字吧~

lupiscesUID: 2231942

Nowadays, there is a general controversy over the issue whether Technology cause children show less creative than they were in past. Well, in my points of view, this viewpoint is just making a irrelevant comparison. Firstly, technology doesn’t make children less creative. Actually, technology helps children develop their intelligence in several ways. For instance, multimedia is now playing an important role in the school education. On a physics lesson, the teacher can use it to display a video of some profound process. So the students will have a better understanding of it. Based on a clearer illustration, it will be certainly easier for them to expand the theory and make some creations.% M( R. o. v0 J" h In addition, the invention of the computer has provided us with a much easier access to the entire planet, which is useful for us to get informed of all the top high-tech productions. And that would stimulate our creativity. Secondly, let us assume that our children are less creative then they were in the past. Nevertheless, it is won’t be our technology to blame（这句语法错误）. In my perspective, it is our education system that causes the negative effect. In china, for example, the entrance exam for universities（高考有固定说法college entrance examination） isn’t reasonable on the aspect of creative thinking. We are just taught some certain formulas to solve our problems. That is to say, the score means everything. Creative thinking can’t find even a corner to survive in this kind of education system. 8 Q5 W( H. W  V6 h As illustrated above, technology shouldn’t be regarded as the very reason. The rapid development of the technology does good to us on the creative thinking issue while there are other things to be responsible for the problem. 语法上问题不多 但是第二点提到了另一个原因，我不知道这样写好不好。。所以不知道怎么说。。 结构清晰