10.29进军美利坚by soarer0474

soarer0474UID: 2665789

10.29 Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to
have the ability to plan and organize.
383

No single phenomenon but industrialization has brought us more changes in our daily life, changes that have made our world complex and perplexing. Confronting to this developing, diversified but fluctuating society, it is crucial for a young person to have the capacity of planning and organizing. The reasons are as follows.
Firstly, what must be considered is time. Time is limited; the things for a person to do are unlimited. Hence, knowing what and how to do things step by step is an important ability for living and working for an young person. Take a vivid case happened to me recently for example. A month ago, I have this examination to prepare, but I also have a research to do and a paper to write. These things makes me exhausted after an un-planed week. After my tutor has known about this, he said to me, “Try to make a detailed list for every single day and a plan for your long term aims, and they could help you.”
I just did as he said, and consequently I have led a busy yet ordered life. So it is really impressive to me that whether or not we plan and organize ourselves’ lives could make things totally different.
Besides, the ability to plan and organize is vital for people’s career, especially for the young people’s. As we all know, there are so many distractions on our career way, and always so many stuffs for us to do. If a person in his or her young adulthood just pasts days aimlessly,
and couldn’t make an intelligent plan for himself, it is impossible for him to succeed in the future. History abounds in examples that the distinguished people are all good at planning and organizing. Take Washington, the first president in U.S., for example. Despite of thousands of things for him to do, he could even spent much time on staying with his family because of his excellent ability to balance business and family. Accordingly, when we wants to predict a young person whether will be established in career, we need look no further than his ability to plan and organize.
To sum up, considering the time factor and individual development, it is essential for the young to learn and own the ability to plan and organize.

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

10.29 Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to ' B9 w6 T' p2 x have the ability to plan and organize. No single phenomenon but industrialization has brought us more changes in our daily life, changes that have made our world complex and perplexing.第一句语法错误。 Confronting to this developing, diversified but fluctuating society, it is crucial for a young person to have the capacity of planning and organizing. The reasons are as follows.! d7 b5 m2 u9 I) i$ C4 Y3 T) P+ c3 z Firstly, what must be considered is time. Time is limited; the things for a person to do are unlimited.建议中间加个连接词写成一句话，比用分号显得有逻辑一些。 Hence, knowing what and how to do things step by step is an important ability for living and working for an young person. Take a vivid case happened to me recently for example. A month ago, I have this examination to prepare, but I also have a research to do and a paper to write. These things makes me exhausted after an un-planed week. After my tutor has known about this, he said to me, “Try to make a detailed list for every single day and a plan for your long term aims, and they could help you.”引用的写法很好啊~O(∩_∩)O~I just did as he said, and consequently I have led a busy yet ordered life. So it is really impressive to me that whether or not we plan and organize ourselves’ lives could make things totally different.觉得有点歧义。一个正常的句子应该是计划和安排能够完全改变我们的生活，而不是是否计划和安排，这个句子在中文里就是病句。 Besides, the ability to plan and organize is vital for people’s career, especially for the young people’s. As we all know, there are so many distractions on our career way这个表达有点怪啊, and always so many stuffs for us to do. If a person in his or her young adulthood just pasts（passes这个才是动词） days aimlessly, and couldn’t make an intelligent plan for himself, it is impossible for him to succeed in the future. 觉得吧，这个句子前面状语太长了，显得有点不平衡。History abounds in examples that the distinguished people are all good at planning and organizing. Take Washington, the first president in U.S., for example. Despite of thousands of things for him to do, he could even spent much time on staying with his family because of his excellent ability to balance business and family. 个人觉得这个放在后面就被弱化了，可以放到he前面去。Accordingly, when we wants to predict a young person whether will be established in career, we need look no further than his ability to plan and organize. To sum up, considering the time factor and individual development, it is essential for the young to learn and own the ability to plan and organize. 总的来说，表达很清楚。只是觉得你第二点其实在从道理上讲和第一个是一样的，并没有写出第二个来从道理上论证第一个的点来~~O(∩_∩)O~其他都很好哇。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

No single phenomenon but industrialization has brought us more changes in our daily life, changes that have made our world complex and perplexing. 没明白..啥意思..? Confronting to this developing, ( in ) diversified but fluctuating society, it is crucial for a young person to have the capacity of planning and organizing. The reasons are as follows.

Firstly, what must be considered is time你觉得这个做中心句子合适么??. Time is limited; the things for a person to do are unlimited. Hence, knowing what and how to do things step by step is an important ability for living and working for an--a young person. Take a vivid case happened to me recently for--as an example. A month ago, I have this examination--??what exam? to prepare, but I also have a research to do and a paper to write. These things makes--到底是单数还是复数? me exhausted after an un-planed week. After my tutor has known about this, he said to me,--he adviced me to make a... “Try to make a detailed list for every single day and a plan for your long term aims, and they could help you.”I just did as--what he said, and consequently I have led a busy yet ordered life. So it is really impressive to me that whether or not we plan and organize ourselves’ lives could make things totally different.
0 O# n  V: p! d: }) `+ RBesides, the ability to plan and organize is vital for people’s career, especially for the young people’s. As we all know, there are so many distractions on our career way, and always so many stuffs for us to do. If a person in his or her young adulthood just pasts days aimlessly, : x* U& N; x! w- b  F! ]
and couldn’t make an intelligent plan for himself, it is impossible for him to succeed in the future. History abounds in examples that the distinguished people are all good at planning and organizing. Take Washington, the first president in U.S., for example. Despite of thousands of things for him to do, he could even spent much time on staying with his family because of his excellent ability to balance business and family. Accordingly, when we wants to predict a young person whether will be established in career,..? we need (to) look no further than his ability to plan and organize.. d1 X; V3 J$ e5 z* k
To sum up, considering the time factor and individual development, it is essential for the young to learn and own the ability to plan and organize. 紧密性不够,有语法问题.连接也不很恰当