[12.9]好老师

line126UID：2556583

What is an ideal teacher? The types of teacher should be varied, but generally speaking, there are two major types: some teachers are very strict on their students and others are bright and humorous. As a student, I approve the latter type because that form of teacher is more efficient in educating students.

It is popular notion that interest is the key to learn, and an easygoing teacher could be more possible to arouse the students' ardor for learning. When they are giving lectures, they make themselves seem charming the same time the audiences will feel the lessons fascinating. Once the students love that expertise, they would like to spend more time and make greater efforts on it, which obviously will lead to the result that they can earn more knowledge and better scores.

Someone may argue that a serious teacher will force kids to finish their homework and do what they are asked to do. However, we should notice that this effect is transient because the children are compelled to do so. And the impetus coming from a teacher could not last long because they will not work on it anymore once the teacher is absent. Cite myself as an example, when I was in the middle school, I had a biology teacher who always told jokes and laughed a lot and a maths teacher who never smile and blamed me from time to time. I really love biology till today and I am a collage student on biology now the same time I never be fond of math and once I finished the exam, I just threw my math textbook away.

In addition, a strict teacher has a negative impact on students' mental health while a humorous teacher plays a positive role in children's growth. Imaging facing a person who looks always unhappy all day long, you will feel noting else than nerves and afraid of when he could hit the ceiling, which results in that you are too exhausted to think, to remember other things. As an contrary to that, a humorous teacher will provide students with laughter, stimulating them to love studying as well as their life, which obviously benefit the students' mental health.

I wish that one day in future, all the teachers could became benign and humorous, thus all the students would love school and never being frustrated with studying. How wonderful that would be!

枫叶满天UID：2730468

What is an ideal teacher? （what kind of teacher is an ideal teacher?）The types of teacher should be varied, but generally speaking, there are two major types: some teachers are very strict on their students and others are bright and humorous. As a student, I approve the latter type because（for the simple reason that是because的同一词，后面的that 再改改） that form of teacher is more efficient in educating students.
楼主给出了好的背景开头和自己的倾向性观点，但觉得似乎可以加上点下面即将要说的三个论点，这样让第一段更加丰富些，因为托福作文不需要绕来然去的，如果开门见山会让考官觉得很舒服。

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It is ( a )popular notion that interest is the key to learn, and an easygoing teacher could be more possible（likely） to arouse the students' ardor(这个词其实有点大的，感觉用在这里有点突兀，建议改成passion) for learning. When they are giving lectures, they make themselves seem （to be ）charming the same time（meanwhile） the audiences will feel the lessons fascinating. Once the students love that expertise, they would like to spend more time and make greater efforts（这个去掉会通顺点，考官会读起来比较舒畅） on it, which obviously will lead to the result that they can earn(gain) more knowledge and （get）better score.

- K8 q! v2 G- L$ j. DSomeone may argue that a serious teacher will force kids to finish their homework and do what they are asked to do. However, we should notice that this effect is transient because the children are compelled to do so.(建议改成一句，然后主题句就出来了，显得很清晰，因为楼主这样写第一句就不是这段的中心，这样不是很好) And the impetus coming from a teacher could not last long because they will not work on it anymore once the teacher is absent. Cite myself as an example, when I was in the middle school, I had a biology teacher who always told jokes and laughed a lot and a maths teacher who never smile and blamed me from time to time. I really love biology till today and I am a collage student on biology now the same time I never be fond of math and once I finished the exam, I just threw my math textbook away.
呵呵，楼主的这个例子我以前也写过，后来有个托福考了115的强人帮我改时说：“你这样写很不好，如果实在想不到讲什了，真的迫不得已了，绝对不要用关于自己的例子！ ”

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In addition, a strict teacher has a negative impact on students' mental health (, which may result in children’s exhaustion, and) while a humorous teacher plays a positive role in children's growth. Imaging facing （Faced with ）a person who looks always unhappy all day long, you will feel noting else than nerves(nervous) and afraid of (fear)when he could(删掉could) hit the ceiling, which results in that you are too exhausted to think, ( and )to remember other things. As an contrary to that, a humorous teacher will provide students with laughter（laugh）, stimulating them to love studying as well as their life, which obviously benefit the students' mental health.

I wish that one day in future, all the teachers could became benign and humorous, thus (thereby making )all the students would(删掉would) love school and never being frustrated with studying. How wonderful that would be!
总得来说，主题句的把握需要加强，不用拐弯抹角的，你一定让老师看得舒畅，他的分就会给得高（批卷老师自己说的），更多的时候自己可以多读读自己的文章，一定是通顺为先，然后再组织语句，诚然我自己也写得不是很好，我同学写了301个字还得了28分呢，他说他的文章没什么就是观点好，然后也没有用一个高级词汇和一个特殊句型，30秒就能读懂，所以。。。

素怿UID：2630430

What is an ideal teacher? （what kind of。。。比较好啦~~）The types of teacher should be varied, but generally speaking, there are two major types: some teachers are very strict on their students and others are bright and humorous. As a student, I approve （approve 后面多加of的吧~~）the latter type because that form of teacher is more efficient in educating students. 5 ~$ T1 S; P- f+ Q
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It is popular notion （notion可数，冠词漏了）that interest is the key to learn, and an easygoing teacher could be more possible to arouse the students' ardor for learning. When they are giving lectures, they make themselves seem（用look比较好吧，看起来很吸引人） charming the same time (我记得连词是 at the same time~~说错了别见怪哈)the audiences will feel the lessons fascinating. Once the students love that expertise, they would like to spend more time and make greater efforts on it, which obviously will lead to the result that they can earn more knowledge and better scores. * [0 I* h3 Z" o! }: W5 J1 _
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Someone may argue that a serious teacher will force kids to finish their homework and do what they are asked to do. However, we should notice that this effect is transient because the children are compelled to do so. And the impetus coming from a teacher could not last long （持续时间长，貌似不是这么用的，直接last就可以了~~你最好自己再去查下哈）because they will not work on it anymore once the teacher is absent. Cite myself as an example, when I was in the middle school, I had a biology teacher who always told jokes and laughed a lot and a maths teacher who never smile and blamed me from time to time. I really love biology till today and I am a collage student on biology now the same time I never be fond of math and once I finished the exam, I just threw my math textbook away.
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In addition, a strict teacher has a negative impact on students' mental health while（我觉得改成because更好理解吧） a humorous teacher plays a positive role in children's growth. Imaging（有点奇怪，感觉不地道，但是我也不知道该用啥） facing a person who looks always unhappy all day long, you will feel noting else than nerves and afraid of when he could hit the ceiling, which results in that you are too exhausted to think, to remember other things. As an contrary to that, a humorous teacher will provide students with laughter, stimulating them to love studying as well as their life, which obviously benefit the students' mental health.
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I wish that one day in future, all the teachers could became benign and humorous, thus all the students would love school and never being frustrated with studying. How wonderful that would be!
Line的词汇连比我大~~~这点值得学习哈~~~
用自己做例子，我也经常这样，比较好想么~~不过枫叶说的话有道理，当然有总比没有强，呵呵~~~加油
Ps：谢谢你给我的建议